[mindylahiris]

after my procedure at the hospital today my doctor tried to explain all of the medications he’s putting me on and i was kind of out of it on pain meds and he goes, “and i’m going to be putting you on some serious steroids, do you have any problems with that?” 

and apparently i looked at my mom and whispered, “i’ll never play major league baseball” and started crying

[bradick]

i am allowed to wear what I want. i am free to express my body. your opinion doesn’t decide. I do.

[alldasheverything-deactivated20]

[stonerxloner-blog]

i need some physical affection and 3 bottles of vodka 

[narcotic]

what state do you live in?

Usually denial 

[watermeliam]

Me: *shoves a vacuum cleaner up Harry's ass*

Harry: WHAT THE UFCK IS WRONG WITH U???

Me: wtf is wrong with YOU????? i have to clean my home

[fatkimkardashian-deactivated201]

stop being mean to girls that like themselves

[hip-hop-lifestyle]

what color’s your bra

[therealhamster]

touching yourself after a long vacation

[wellshitnuggets-deactivated2013]

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]

[ugly]

how to describe a spoon

[mondooowadastinyahoge-deactivat]

when people reblog two part posts in the wrong order

[onlinewifey-deactivated20140318]

teacher: eyes on your own paper

me: bitch i only have eyes for da paper

[watermeliam]

aweepingangel:

i was never jealous of barbie’s body

i was jealous of all the shit she had and that fucking mansion and her pimp ass car and her hot boyfriend

[aveoi-deactivated20150922]

looking at your ass after watching the anaconda music video

[haroldmadness]

wtvrgabby: thank you so much

[aduhm-deactivated20150428]

when white boys claim they’re 9 inches

[pueblano]

when they really are 9 inches