Ian Watto Watson

The Champions Guide to a Joyful Life

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Patience

Patience at home 

How short is your fuse? What pushes your buttons when it comes to the girl of your dreams? 

How are you at the end of a big day where you needed heaps of patience with others and then come home to the ones you love the most? 

Do you drop the level of tolerance and patience towards them, or kick it up a notch? It needs to be the latter. They should get the preferential treatment. They do the hard yards of life with you. 

You can do it! Best of all, be consistent – you’ll feel better in the long run. Acting like a pork chop doesn’t do anyone any good. If Margaret’s had a hard and challenging day, she appreciates me coming home with patience. 

You can do it! 

The times I showed a hothead attitude as a young husband or father didn’t help Margaret or our 3 sons. It just shut them down. 

Patience from a young husband and father brings life and sparkle into your family. Patience with each child, letting them move at their own pace, helps the creativity come out. It allows their personality to show through. 

Don’t make the ones you love miss out. 

This is Men’s stuff not Boy’s stuff. Champions, let’s step up to the plate and make real-deal love happen. 

How to become more patient 

I was a bit of a hothead as a young bloke. I grew up with a bad temper and wanted my way instantly. I didn’t have a clue about patience. 

Thankfully, my dad had his ‘attitude adjuster’ and he gently and tactfully knocked me into reality. Ha ha! 

He turned my bad-sport attitude around to help me become a determined young achiever. Dad helped me grow a lot of stickability. He patiently and consistently helped me develop. 

Where else can a bloke get a bit of help? 

There’s a beauty in the Work Manual that goes like this: 

Unless the Big Fella builds the house, You blokes who build the house do it in vain; Unless the Big Fella keeps his eye on the job, The blokes you have looking after it may as well stay in bed asleep. (Psalm 127:1, Watto Version) 

The older I become the more convinced I am that we bash ourselves trying to do it in our own strength. We have a choice to get the Top Man to be the project manager all the way. 

I did everything in my own strength until my head ached. It took lots of patience for me to learn to trust God. 

Let’s look for a moment at the big picture. How do you think we are going as a country? I reckon we’re doing it mighty tough, and we don’t need to. 

This is an excerpt from Ian Watson’s Self-Help Book “Champions Learn To Love”.

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Joy

Joy moments 

Fellas, at this part of the book, what is joy meaning to you? Here’s some thoughts from other blokes. 

OTTO: Being confident that all will turn out well and we get to kick that winning goal after the siren. 

CHRIS: An inner knowing that I have been restored to right relationship with my Heavenly Dad, through Jesus. Gives me strength to be the husband and father God wants me to be, to be a mate. Helps me to be a human being, not a human doing. 

WAYNE: I count it all joy looking after my son who is quadriplegic. 

MATT: Patience leads to joy. 

STEVE: Joy is living out God’s desires for me as opposed to the world’s desires or the desires of others forced upon me. 

DAVO: Joy for me is connection with friends/mates. It means having friends who stand by you and who you stand by. Our first response to tough times is, ‘God, rescue me!’ but God wants to show us instead that he is bigger than our adversity. God wants to walk with you today however tough the journey is. 

This is an excerpt from Ian Watson’s Non-Fiction Book CHAMPIONS LEARN TO LOVE

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Champion Love Story

Grace 

We were that couple who were crazy, passionately, head-over-heels in love. With the birth of our first child, all of a sudden I didn’t really know who I was. My name, hormones, body, job and lifestyle had all changed dramatically. 

Our relationship wasn’t exciting dates and holidays anymore but sleep deprivation and boring chores. It was a period of grinding gears, quarrels, confusion and conflict. 

I went from being independent, capable and accomplished in my professional life, to being at home all day with a baby, doing jobs that quickly came undone. When Toby would leave for work in the morning I felt jealous that he got to go out and ‘have a life’. 

During those first few years, I often got frustrated with Toby. It brought out a bitter, critical side of me. He would go quiet. I questioned whether I had married the right guy. 

After the birth of our second baby, I was diagnosed with post-natal anxiety. In the course of getting professional help, we did a stocktake on our life. We realized that we were doing too much, spending our precious resources of time and energy on things which weren’t nurturing our marriage or family. 

Toby had to accept that he didn’t know how to fix the problem. None of the tools he had could change the situation, and he realized that he needed to learn to care for me. This involved a lot of listening and empathising. 

I was completely vulnerable and weak and I had to learn to accept help from Toby, to lean on him and trust him. 

We prayed, we made changes and slowly we started to rebuild our life. Ultimately, it was our mutual vulnerability which led to the transformation of our marriage. For our marriage to thrive, we needed to put it first, and to maintain it as a safe place, no matter how we were doing. 

I realized that whether I valued my husband was not dependent on what he had done but on my attitude towards him. I realised I was the maker or breaker of my own marriage. 

I began to try and set Toby up to win. In encouraging him and praising him for his God-given abilities and traits, I watched him flourish. He was able to do more and be more and of course was more affectionate. This made me want to keep cherishing him and in turn he would respond positively. 

7 years later, we have 4 children, some chooks and a whole different relationship. We are more connected, more in love and feel more blessed than ever before. We continue to be curious about understanding one another and picking up new tools in our relationship. Toby is a solid leader in our marriage whilst still respecting and encouraging my strengths. 

We are imperfect people, forever flawed. But we believe anyone can choose to transform their relationship by laying down their habit of self-protection and adopting a practice of vulnerability. This requires asking God to come into every part of your relationship, but the result is always love and unity. 

This is an excerpt from Watto’s Book ‘Champions Learn To Love’

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Encourage!

Encourage Each Other 

If you don’t know how to encourage your girl and she doesn’t know how to encourage you, you’ll end up like a dried-up prune. 

If you can give encouragement, it will come back to you, and you’re going to get even more heaped on you. Wow! It’s gold! 

Champions, for me this is the most enjoyable part of my book. In doing the journey of love with the girl of your dreams, encouragement is an absolute must. 

Margaret and I have worked at encouraging each other to a wonderful place of trust. The Big Fella has shaped us over 50 years into love and encouragement. 

We both know that we say what we mean and we mean what we say, and therefore we have joy together. I hope you will enjoy a similar journey in love. Be encouraged. It’s worth it. 

Does it come naturally? 

I‘m a natural-born encourager and because it’s easy for me to give it, it’s easy for me to teach you how receive it and pass it on to others. 

Seriously, can anyone get by without encouragement? I don’t believe they can. 

I reckon most people have to survive on the smallest amount. This need not be the case – it can be changed. 

So, how do you get more encouragement? Once you learn to give encouragement, eventually it will come back to you in bucket loads. 

If you haven’t grown up in a house full of encouragement then this can be new to you. That’s OK, we’ll sort it out so that you can enjoy this most exciting gift. It doesn’t take much! 

Who would have thought that my saying, ‘I’ve never seen a bloke go backwards with encouragement’ would have helped so many blokes to become real-deal champions? 

I now hear it said in all corners of our country, and people love hearing and saying it. I hope you like it and want to spread it. Yes, that’s how my first book Every Bloke’s a Champion – Even You! began. 

In that book, I got to suss out some gold I had picked up along my journey through life and share it. When a man is treated like a champion, he starts living like one. And so does a woman! 

This is an excerpt from Ian Watson’s book called “Champions Learn To Love”

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A Little Bit of Encouragement

No-one misses out on the battle 

I say life’s a battle and no-one misses out. It’s just got a different name and time. It’s how you handle the battle that counts. 

Our day-to-day living can be a much harder battle without that little bit of encouragement. It can be mighty tough if we’re going to constantly cop judgement, criticism or the silent ‘no-speakie’ treatment. It’s pretty tough to keep getting back up from that, especially from the one we are trying to love. Does your woman do that to you? 

But then, do you do it to her? 

My business life was set alight by my treasured mate, big Jonesy, empowering me when he said, ‘Watto you’ll never look back!’ And I haven’t. How’s that for encouragement? 

Have you ever experienced a word like that? Perhaps you have but you may have missed it? Let’s help you to be ready for the next turbocharged word of encouragement coming your way. 

Once you know how healthy it is to receive an encouraging word and how it puts a turbocharge into your whole being, you’ll want to learn how to give encouragement to others so you can see them charge off onwards and upwards. It’s so exciting and the gold starts to happen. 

It doesn’t take much, just a little word from someone we respect. Right at this moment, who is it that’s in your  thoughts or on your mind? Why not pick up the phone and say, ‘Howdy. I’ve been thinking about you. How’s it going?’ Then listen carefully and give a kind word of encouragement. I guarantee you’ll make that person’s day. A text message also works well – and for the girl of your dreams it’s worth double gold!

From the Work Manual… how good! 

Nothing is more appealing than speaking beautiful, life-giving words, for they release sweetness to our souls, inner healing to our spirits. (Proverbs 16:24 TPT) 

We all want and need encouragement. It can make us, or the lack of it can break us. 

Encouragement is sorta like a plant in the garden. Keep the water and the right sunshine up to it and it keeps looking better and better. 

No water, no encouragement – the plant withers up and dies. It’s a plant but it’s dead. We can be like that. We can get around, but we’re a dead man walkin’. 

Encouragement comes in so many different ways and it’s the most amazing thing. It’s pretty normal for us blokes to need an affirming, encouraging word from another man, no matter how old we are. If you try this, remember, blokes like you to call it as it is – straight down the line, with no patronising. 

This is an excerpt from Ian Watson’s book “Champions Learn To Love”

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Encourage from the heart 

Encourage from the heart 

Encouragement from the head is good, but whatever courage it may take for you to give it out of your heart will result in a win! Gold! 

Come on, how much does it cost to talk to someone? You can do it. Let the words flow from your heart, especially to the girl of your dreams. 

Just a friendly nod, or a genuine, ‘Good morning’, or ‘Have a great day’ can lift a person’s attitude. We can’t get inside someone’s head so we’ll never know what’s going on in their life. One word at the right time can really make a difference. 

This is a gem from the Work Manual: 

And let us consider how we may spur [encourage] one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24 NIV) 

That is, lovingly encourage others to ‘extract the digit’ and make it happen. 

Remember: Encourage, encourage, encourage. We can change the world for the better with this one. It beats criticism and judgement any day of the week. 

Champions, this is another favourite of mine from the Work Manual:

‘Do not hold back encouragement from those who deserve it when it is in your power to act’ (Proverbs 3:27).

How good is that! 

I want to repeat this one. ‘Do not hold back encouragement when it’s within your power to give it.’ So come on, let’s do it. 

Fellas, the more we learn to give and receive encouragement the more we get to experience that place of being a satisfied bloke in all areas of our life. 

This is an excerpt from Ian Watson’s “Champions Learn To Love”

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The Power of Encouragement 

The power of encouragement 

One of the most encouraging things over the last 14 years doing Shed Happens, with blokes all around our country, is to see men who have come from hard times and dirty places emerge open and free and real. 

They can do this because they come to know who they are and Whose they are – they discover they belong to the Big Fella. 

The proof is in the pudding for them as they get on with their lives. They help put love into the lives of others who are in similar places to where they’ve come from. 

They become lifelines of encouragement for those who feel like they are sinking. Gold! 

These champion men don’t need any fanfare or pats on the back. They just get on with life. They are so grateful to know the inner joy that comes from the Big Fella. It can carry them through any battles that life may throw at them in the future. 

These blokes are carriers of hope. 

If you’re ready to look at the spiritual part of who you are, add the Big Fella’s power, strength and hope to your encouragement. It goes into hearts and souls to meet the deepest needs in others. 

It’s pretty faddy these days to have a special day for this or that community project or cause. I reckon every day should be an Encouragement Day. If we could encourage someone every day, we’d have a fantastic world. 

Have a read of this little beauty from the Work Manual: 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 Watto Version) 

This is an except from Watto’s book “Champions Learn To Love”

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Encouragement

Encouragement

Have a read of this little beauty from the Work Manual: 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 Watto Version) 

When we encourage somebody we actually empower courage into that person to get on with something positive in their life. When they encourage us, we are empowered with courage – so let’s make sure we start with the girl of our dreams. 

Here’s another beauty from the Work Manual: 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other, up just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV) 

When anyone asks me, ‘How are you going today?’ my reply is, ‘Bubbling over with joy!’ If you answer in this way too, I guarantee you will get a smile and a positive response. Try it, it’s a winner. 

One of my mates said he’d been thinking about me for the past 2 days so he gave me a call. That’s a good thing to do when God puts someone on our mind. 

Give ’em a call and have a mini Shed talk. We listen, we ask, we encourage, we pray for each other for our needs, and we thank God for his provision. Boy, it’s encouraging. I try to keep up the coffees, the brekkies, the footy catch-ups and whatever 

I need to do to encourage my buddies ’cause they encourage me. 

Everyone wins with encouragement. 

But, champions, for real-deal dinky-di love, the stuff that never fails, the first person on your list of people to encourage is the girl of your dreams – the others will fit in and flow. No encouragement to your girl, and the rest will show up as not the complete deal. Mate, you are the maker or breaker of this. 

I’ve never seen anyone go backwards with encouragement. 

Encouragement comes easier to some of us than others, but it’s OK, you can learn it. 

Once you learn to give it, eventually it will come back to you in bucket loads. 

No ‘fluffy duck’ patronising stuff. Start small, and keep it real. 

I’ve never seen a bloke or a woman go backward with encouragement! 

This is an excerpt from Watto’s book “Champions Learn To Love”

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Share the Joy!

Share the Joy!

I reckon every bloke who reaches a point of knowing and experiencing the Big Fella’s real-deal dinky-di love also knows about the amazing feeling of inner JOY. It’s a place of peace and satisfaction amid all circumstances, where God’s love reigns over all. It’s where the power of love wipes away the love of power.

How about you?

What have been some of your main moments of joy so far?

Fellas, welcome to this place of JOY. IT’S MORE THAN BEING HAPPY.

Joy is not just a girl’s name! Joy is about knowing the real guts of who we are. Joy is available to every one of us. Joy replaces bad things and sad times, and the regrets and pain of deep hurts.

Champions, avoid isolation. If you try to do life without people, you make it very difficult for joy to flow in. Healthy connection with others helps kick loneliness and depression.

Let the joy flow in so you can let the joy flow out to all those around you.

When I was a boy, joy for me was having an ice cream, a now-and-then special treat. I had no idea that joy could be something you could have all the time!

The world needs heaps and heaps of joy. Why have we made joy so rare?

‘Pursue righteousness,’ said Jesus, ‘and be satisfied.’ (Matthew 5:6)

In other words, pursue his way of living and be a satisfied bloke. Fellas, it’s not about ‘religion’! You don’t find satisfaction deep within your heart and soul from chasing rituals, traditions, or stuff that’s human-created.

It’s possible to know the words but not be able to sing the songs. We can sit in church, go through the stuff, and not meet Jesus. Don’t fall for diversion, just go straight to the top and hang out with the Creator of the universe. How good! He’ll keep you in tune!

I am satisfied. I know who I am and Whose I am. My heart and soul are free and clean. I’m in a great place.

Hope you are too.

I choose to do a thing we could call ‘right living’ to the best of my ability. That doesn’t mean I’m ‘always right’! It’s doing life the Big Fella’s way from the promises in his Work Manual, and seeing his Son, Jesus, as my true-to-life present-day lifestyle coach.

You will know by now that I choose to accept the spiritual part of who I am, so I have my heart and soul open to a constant flow of God’s joy coming into my being. The best way to get more joy is to keep it flowing out to others.

Whether you accept the spiritual part of you is your call.

Don’t be pushed or rushed either way.

Excerpt from Champion Blokes Learn To Love - buy a copy from

https://www.thechampionsguide.com/wattobooks/champion-blokes-learn-to-love

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Watto talks about Aussie Men and Anxiety.

Watto talks about Aussie Men and Anxiety in 2017 and sharing God’s love.

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Learning to Play Conversation Tennis - With Watto

Our defences of silence or anger come out when we don’t feel safe. What’s the solution? Can we talk?

If you’ve played tennis, you know what it means to have a good rally back and forwards over the net. Rallies work best when both players keep returning the ball over the net and keep the play going. We get in some nice little shots, a few relaxed backhands, a few overheads, and a few lobs, and we never try to put the other player off. Eventually someone wins the point but only after we’ve both had the best rallies backwards and forwards. The win never really matters, it’s the rally that counts.

We can liken this to good conversation, because we want the communication to keep going – just like a tennis rally. We may have a few shots or hard words and are not afraid to lob one up in the air occasionally, but if we trust each other we don’t want to play any shifty shots against the other person and knock them out of the conversation.

If, however, you think you can ace the other person with every ball, it’s a boring old game. The ball never comes back over the net. No rallies, no game, poor outcome. It’s the same with conversations – we need to keep them going until we’ve got the gold.

Can we talk?

Keep tennis in mind when you want to have a safe conversation – keep the ball in play. The person who you enjoy having those rallies or good conversations with will always be looking for another rally, because a fair and best outcome is achieved.

There can be times when the conversation doesn’t go anywhere, or it can be difficult. Be aware that you or the other person in the conversation:

can have a hidden agenda

don’t and won’t LISTEN, or is listening as a token gesture – you can learn to discern this

are shy or scared of saying something wrong

are ‘I’m not good enough, poor me’ people

can want to hear your very personal story, but then want to do a runner without sharing anything about themselves

can be an arrogant know it all – it’s all about ME, ME, ME

can be a perfectionist – ‘look at me, look how good I am at everything’

can be an emotional person who cries at the drop of a hat

just ‘spit it’ and shut down on the other person as a weapon

tells all their stuff and never asks how the other person is – this is very common

finds fault with everything that is said

delights in dropping big clangers on the other person

can be patronising

can belittle the other person – not a nice place to be

says, ‘I know, I know, I know.’ But either they, or you, don’t.

Excerpt from CAN WE TALK? Ian Watto Watson buy your copy here

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Can We Talk? A short story from the Hospital

Since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer seventeen years ago, I’ve attended various Cancer Clinics for different kinds of treatment. It has been an ongoing battle to try to destroy and remove rogue cells before they can attack a bone or another organ.

The nursing staff and the doctors are all amazing, and you couldn’t work there without a special gift. They speak and work life into you. But I know there are times when they go home at night knowing that they can’t come up with any more. How do they cope with that, without dumping on their partner, children, or hitting the bottle?

I love all those medical people who have given me their best, such as Ruth. Ruth looks after the tea, coffee and lunch. She’s at the end to her career as a podiatrist, and is just the best.

“Can we talk?” – she’s an expert, and uses the right words, and the right number of words – to you and from you. She doesn’t need to “apologise” for anything. She just goes into cruise control and everyone leaves the clinic better off for the coffee and cake or lunch. It has very little to do with the food, and it’s all about her very special gifting. Her natural gift is encouragement. I hope you don’t need to visit a Cancer Clinic to meet a Ruth.

Today, Ruth wasn’t there. A young 35-ish woman said, “I’m the stand in for Ruth today, but I know no one can be as good as the beautiful Ruth”. I waited my moment and said, “I’m Watto. I like black tea, no milk or sugar, and yes, I’d like lunch sandwiches please”. Then I said, “What’s your name?”, and she said “Ami”.

“Hi, Ami. Thanks for doing one of the most important jobs in this place, because everyone else is looking flat out. My Doctor had some hard things to say to Margaret and I today, and then you turn up with that from another Clinic? “ “No, I’m surprised we haven’t met”, she said.

“Ami, can I give you a word of encouragement? Next person you see, you don’t need to apologise for being a stand-in for Ruth. Just be Ami and do your best, like you do when administering the chemo. You’ll be so welcomed by all. Remember, Ami – just be the best Ami you can be with the cuppa.” She thanked me and said, “Got it!” and popped her head in twice more with a smile, before removing the cannula and sending me home.

CAN WE TALK? Ian Watto Watson

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Can We Talk?

Can we …..

Listen?

Hear with our hearts?

Be counted on?

Listen, without letting our bias get in the road?

Feel OK to contribute to the mix?

Listen, without hammering away with our own opinions?

Encourage another person into a safe, non-judgemental conversation?

Let the quirky aspects of our personality emerge?

Love the unloveable?

Thankfully take in love and encouragement?

Come to grips with asking the Big Fella to help you learn how to trust Him?

Then … you’ll dream dreams and find fulfilment, and you’ll have joy in the heat of battle.

Learning to love is really one of the most important things we get the opportunity to do in our life. You don’t have to blow it!

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Book Launch ~ CAN WE TALK ~ Live Stream on FaceBook

Ian Watto Watson’s BOOK LAUNCH live streamed at https://www.facebook.com/wattobooks/

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Book Launch - Can We Talk?

Ian Watto Watson - the man behind SHED HAPPENS events that focus on helping the mental and spiritual health of men on their journey of life, has release his fourth book called "Can We Talk?" You are invited to attend the BOOK LAUNCH with Watto and hear all about his latest book.

From Watto...

"I hope my dream for you comes true, and that after you’ve found the treasure in “Can we talk?”, you’ll become an outstanding listener your friends and family will love and admire. You’ll be able to let out the magic and quirkiness of your personality, and enjoy being the real you with those around you, connecting and communicating."

"Asking “Can we talk?” opens up hearts, honesty, freedom and the ability for people to accept themselves as perfectly OK and brave enough to say, “I don’t know” and “Can you put it another way, please?” Once the barriers of mistrust and lack of confidence have been smashed, we’re able to begin life time friendships and business success has been assured."

Friday JULY 26th at 7.00am

Book Launch · Hosted by Ian Watto Watson and The Coffee Club Australia (Mango Hill) - 1 Halpine Drive, Mango Hill, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia 4509 Show map. 0412 722 455

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Can We Talk? Paperback

‘Text messages, email, voicemail and social media are no substitutes for saying, “Can we talk?” and meeting face to face. It’s time to have some important conversations and build connections with the special people in your life.’

Watto says we’ve learned to fear having face-to-face conversations, and it’s time to change that.

In CAN WE TALK? one of Australia’s best communicators tells how to build robust connections - with our partners and families, at work, and in sporting teams. His brand of safe, non-judgemental, non-manipulative communication leads to stronger relationships, better business deals, and greater joy.

Have you ever stopped long enough to think, “Who am I?”

Are you comfortable being different from others? To the point of being a bit quirky?

Can you laugh at yourself – I mean REALLY laugh at yourself?

How do you cope when someone has a different opinion from yours? Do you shut down?

Can we talk - and get this sorted out for you, for good?

It can be easy to confuse personality with character. Character is a vital part of who you are. It’s developed from things you’ve learned. It’s affected by people you do life with, and the choices you’ve made, and chances you’ve taken. It’s influenced by your family background, your upbringing, and many more things that you take into your being. It makes up the essential YOU. My dad, favourite footy coaches, uncles, schoolteachers and a neighbour with no children of his own, but who was really interested in my wellbeing, all added to my character development. The difference between personality and character is that personality is what you are born with, the ‘face’ that everyone sees day in and day out. Character is the deep you – your core being, your spine, your integrity, your foundation. Since acknowledging the spiritual part of who I am, God – as my Father - has been the main source of my character development. His Son, Jesus - the Bloke - has been helping me make right choices. You might wonder how that could work. Can we talk? - and I’ll show you how it worked for me!

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Ian and Margaret’s conversation tips

In our marriage, Margaret and I have come to put into practice the following valuable tips that we hope will help you. There will be plenty of times when you’ll have to consider ways to bring the other person into the safe place of conversation.

You may have to rephrase the point. Say it in a different way.

You may have to say sorry for being too pushy in the conversation.

You may have to back off.

You may need to walk away and come back to it another day.

You may have to recreate the picture in a more sensitive way.

You may have to re-welcome the other person to tell you how they are hearing your point.

You then may have to reconsider your initial approach.

You may have to accept that the other person does not want anything out of the conversation.

If it involves someone close, you may have to just shut up and listen and not get cut up because they don’t show any interest in anything that is important to you. Just continue to invest love into the other person. It will come back to you one day. We reap what we sow.

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. (Proverbs 17:27 ESV)