itâs this incredible anguish, wraps itself around his neck and toys with choking him out. heâs out of his head he doesnât know what heâs saying what heâs projecting, what heâs putting down. dear mary is a goddamn knife, sheâs cutting and while he appreciates it, admires it. itâs like a bite, rabid dog who wonât let go of him. her touch like pins on his skin but he doesnât move, grounds him. piercing blue stare looks at her hand moving before meeting her eyes, a thousand lives something ancient lives in her and wayne doesnât comprehend it entirely. mary does this, she looks like she is. nothing to hide, right now. she is a crazy unhinged animal, he doesn't know how she does that. she makes this shit look easy, effortless. fuck.
wayne knows there wasn't anything else to do that night but die, he had hoped for the longest time that something would go different, replayed the events in his head. he swears he can smell the bodies, the booze, the last of his life vanishing before him. he swallows, heâs always been incredible alone, her words get to him. he isn't alone, something to be played with now. he gets a smile, it's slow and steady, murderous. a click. something snaps, like it was bound to give. âso easy for you to just run your mouth. forgot who i was talking to.â as he talks his hand slides up from where it rested on his knee, leans into her space taking the decision to intrude back, heâs got claws too. a lingering sense of fight that mary digs in and twists to get at.
she asks for a cigarette and he rolls his eyes, she's on thin ice, patience barely holding him back. she takes it a step further, made of fire just consuming everything in front of her. he wraps his hand around her wrist before it can get to the pack, pulls it out of his pocket (a dare, try and touch me again. let's play one of those stupid games.) little to no space in between them, he knows what would piss her off, send her away but he doesn't want that. what he doesnât know is what he really wants in the moment, he'd stuck his head in the lions mouth long before this, he stayed there. he is there now.
âlike hell 'm gonna give you a cig after all that." lit up, it's alive, it's malleable and he's petty, easy to hurt, finds himself ready for a scrap, from zero to a hundred. she could do anything in this moment. he's not folding, it's not one of those nights. he makes this one terrible choice over and over again where he trusts her. "you want a smoke that bad?" raises and eyebrow, the anger clings to some of his words, only natural. fucking take it from me. i want to sink my teeth in you. i want you to sink yours in me.