So this is different from the current asks and full blown EMBARRASSING confession. Like YEARS ago and keeps you embarrassed at night confessions.
So, this was in 2017. So almost 6 years ago Iām going to keep group names private because everything is still public(it being a forum rp). So for this RP they had a Murder Mystery event! You would send in applications for character concepts and if you were fine playing a suspect, bystander, or the murderer.
I want to preface that of course at 15 I didnāt have all the research into stereotypes or not just having characters existing to be in a relationship/have nuance that I thankfully now do.
The whole thing is that there was this shy cat named Badgerfall who had like stereotypical wc oc āparental issuesā and self confidence/insecurity. And he secretly was in a relationship with this other cat named Mistwhite(because he was a white cat boy I was such a clever 15 year old). This was because as a kid I knew that the troupe of āinnocent person/red herring has deeper secret that makes them suspicious but itās not the murdererā was apart of murder mysteries(thank you Agatha Christie). And I donāt remember exactly where I saw this but I definitely remember getting the idea is the secret my OC is hiding is that he was with his partner during the murder. And in my head it couldnāt just be that he was with a she-cat, the other had to be secret that Badgerfall was gay and the relationship was a secret one.
I then created this entire dynamic straight out of a highschool CW drama where Mistwhite was like the āpopular boyā troupe and liked by all the female cats and he would play hard to get in their minds but he was just gay. And the implication for why he hid the relationship was I guess internalized homophobia(even though I didnāt know the term yet).
Is it the worst example of a gay character? I donāt think so for Badgerfall because thankfully I was just basing him off Ravenpaw. But Mistwhite was like BAD rped. Like the gay bestfriend/flamboyant/confident stereotype was rolled into one. And of course I donāt realize this is a like..harmful stereotype because I see it all over media. So I just assume this how I should rp my boyfriend NPCs.
And so the moment where cats think my OC couldāve been the murderer happens and I rp this cat so meek that I than have the *NPC* boyfriend step up and say if course they didnāt do it. Which is like, the worst you can do in an RP. To just introduce your NPC character back to a scene after I said he had stepped away. To which Oakstar believes that from what Mistwhite said and they like talk afterwards. And in my head Iām like āoh this is fufilling the arc of the relationship being secret and choosing to stand up for each other even if cats suspect thingsā
But likeā¦.*this has nothing to do with the murder mystery.* I was too focused on having gay cats that I justā¦wrote basically Ravenpaw and Barley fanfiction by myself. I do have some of the saved excerpts from old Google docs andā¦itās just so good to look back and cringe at lmao. My past baby ally self(before realizing I was Queer later) is so cute.
(The [i] and [b] are for bolds. Also the forum weād write on had a character limit so some punctuation was left out)
[i]NOTHING I have nothing to make me sound convincing Iām definitely going to be kicked out of the clan.[/i] He looked over at Mist. [i]At least heās safe.[/i] He stopped staring when he realised Mist was stepping from outside the group in a confident and uncaring voice spoke up. [b]āAlright I can not let this mockery go on any longer. Itās obvious that he didnāt murder anybody and Iāll just say all the obvious reasons. First off Badgerfall looks nothing like what Vulturewind described. We all know he was the smallest of his litter and his weight isnāt in the...best state. Now you could say Vulturewind described the cat completely opposite of Badgerfall to do him a favor but why would Vulturewnd do that? He hardly even likes-let me restate that nobody likes Badgerfall so why would somebody do a favor for him?ā[/b] Badgerfall could believe what Mist was saying but realised what was happening. [i]Mist you a bloody genius.[/i] He continued talking other cats starting to nod at what he was saying. [b]Second point Iād like to make is his hunting alibi. Now personally being on a hunting patrol with him myself we all know Badgerfallās hunting skills are atrocious so of course he would try and hunt alone to save people from watching his embarrassment he calls hunting. Now after everything Iāve said Oakstar does this sound like a murderer? Can you imagine clumsy Badgerfall being able to kill somebody? We should just cross him off the list and focus on the real suspects.
(Than the leader says Badgerfall probably didnāt do it)
āBadgerfall blinked at Oakstarās words. [i]No heās too important for that...although that does explain a few things.[/i] He stepped back awkwardly as Shecatās surrounded Mist. [b]āWow Mistwhite I canāt believe you stood up to Oakstar of all people youāre so brave and handsome.ā[/b] Mistwhite looked at her with a blank expression before remembering he was supposed to be straight.ā
āBefore remembering he was supposed to be straightā is SO funny reading back I fully did a spit take when I opened this document again like a few months ago. Oh and also a few weeks later I left the group because classes were leaving me in the TRENCHES.
In 2017 my first gay cats were a couple specifically made to be red herrings in a murder mystery plot that is like something that came out of the CW(because I legitimately thought CW tv was like PRIME gay representation). I also cringly rped an NPC in a major scene.
Hey anon,
šššššššš
I love you for this!!!!!! THIS is what I want when I say confessions. This was a wonderful read. People I want posts with TDLRS. I want the 10 year old cringe story lines.
- Mod water
