heroexxs:
when she pulled back and moved away from him, he could’t help but to wonder why. she was leaning into him moment ago, and now if felt like there was a wall between the two of them. she was looking at him like she didn’t even know him, like she was… disappointed. he thought that things would be like old times, that she would hold him close and they could enjoy this moment together. now even though they were a couple inches away, it felt like they were miles apart. he pulled back his arm and rested an arm behind his head instead. he tried to study her face once again and she just looked numb to the whole situation. it was like she didn’t mind this space between the two of them. all he wanted was for things to e back to normal, but maybe she didn’t want things to be back to normal. maybe she really wanted him to move on, and maybe she did as well. as much as he didn’t want to, maybe he should have. his heart was here, but his heart wasn’t wanted anymore. she was pushing his heart away and he didn’t know what to do anymore.
she was explaining her condition and he was so thankful that all of this was just temporary. he could remember when she couldn’t speak correctly and he sat right there in that chair next to her. when he wasn’t working, he was there. hell he even slept over here when his mother was worried about him staying there so long. “i could still read them to you until you get back to normal, no worries.” he said with a little shrug of his shoulders. maybe she didn’t want him there, he’d understand if she didn’t. he didn’t have much time on his hands anyway. they had him running all over the hospital helping everyone out, thankfully now he was getting paid for it. her eyes turned away from him, and he slowly got out of her bed since he assumed that she didn’t want him there. her whole mood changed and it was like she was giving him the cold shoulder. again, he a bit awkward about all of this. no one was smiling, no one was laughing, which was strange for the two of them but this was now supposed to be their new normal.
as he finally got out of her bed, he ran a hand through his hair and went to slip his shoes back on so he could head out. there wasn’t much else to say here, especially since she didn’t seem to want him around. “i… uh i’m just gonna head out. you wanna be alone, i get it. i gotta get back to work anyway.” he said with a little shrug of his shoulders before giving her a little wave. “i’ll see you around, and if you still want me to read you that book, just give me a call.”
as much as she’d tried to repress her memories of the hospital and how miserable it always made her, the emotions were brought to the forefront of her mind immediately and she realized it was impossible for her to try and forget this ━ especially because she no longer had jon at her side, which made everything exponentially wrong. her old nurse, betty, quickly took back over her care once it became apparent that she wouldn’t be leaving any time soon, and mari was thankful to at least have one familiar face. it helped that betty knew everything about her and jon, and how it had all unfolded, so she answered all of the subtle questions mari asked about him without so much as a second thought. she managed to gather that jon wasn’t seeing anyone new, and that he was doing well in his new position at the hospital ━ two things that made her happy, though one was more surprising than the other. it had been no wonder that jon was excelling in the hospital, especially without her there to consume his time, but she had trouble believing that there was nobody new in his life.
betty offered, a few times, to ask jon to take over a vitals check for her if mari wanted him around but didn’t know how to ask. it was kind, and she did want him around, but she didn’t know if she could do that to him again. he seemed to be doing okay without her, and she didn’t want to put him in that position, especially because he was too gentle and too sweet to do anything but be kind to her. then she’d just be setting herself back by remembering all the reasons she never fell out of love with him in the first place, and would be making him uncomfortable.
every day was harder than the last, though. her ability to read wasn’t returning, no matter how hard she poured over the book that jon had brought her, and she missed him. she missed him so much she couldn’t help but let herself wallow in it when she thought she was alone. except, this time, she apparently wasn’t. the sound of someone clearing their throat shook her from her thoughts and from the tears that were dripping from her cheek onto the pages of the book in her lap. her head shot up, and she tried to subtly wipe at her face when she saw it was JON. she didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. she just listened.














