What do the Elephant and the Dog have in Common

[wdteatdhic]

A decade ago I was smaller

And softer but

Less tender hearted

More afraid

[wdteatdhic]

I am unsettled

Like I am unloved

Which is to say

Frequently

But almost exclusively

In my head

Nevermind what my body

Has to say about it

[wdteatdhic]

Murder Dreams

Yesterday was indeed quite lovely Today, again, I have teeth

[wdteatdhic]

Introducing Distance

On edge. My teeth clench and grind At the thought of this. You... What? Step back? Disbelieving disgust And cold chills Down my spine. I flinch and front And hold my breath. Tense. Shudder. Say goodbye.

[wdteatdhic]

Convincing

I wonder if there is a way to love you harder Or say the words just right So that you will believe me one day.

Right now it is like dashing myself on rocks And hoping that you’ll hear Giving me a reason to keep trying.

[wdteatdhic]

Blood:Water

You call me sister but... I am not the sister of your brother nor am I daughter of your mother or adopted by your father I am not the sister that you grew up with or spent nights telling stories to and learning about the world I am not the sister that you wanted to protect and held her hand while she cried late at night I am not the sister that you join forces with because your causes are hers and her cares belong to you I am not the sister that you call when you are happy or sad or stressed out after a long day at work I am not the sister that knows your secrets or the one you help guide to better paths than without you I am not the sister that you want to spend time with or that you need to keep up with What sort of family are we anyways?

[wdteatdhic]

Au

Sometimes it is nothing more than sweet sensation Of your hot as ice touch Of your hands tracing curves Of your breath on my neck

Sometimes I imagine you are painting a map Of where you have been Of where treasure lies In lines of glowing adoration

That when I go home and take off my clothes I will have strokes of gold And an "X" on each spot that you kissed And dragons where you laughed in my side

That I am becoming gilded by you, slowly With each smile another inch Each whispered sweet thing Makes me more pure than I was before.

[wdteatdhic]

Process

If you were stone Immobile and hard I would wear you down With food and water and love Until you were Rich with nutrients Ripe with promise Until you were Deep and dark Fine and loamy Until you were Fertile soil Ready to grow

[wdteatdhic]

Grandmother

She is plodding from the weight. She is burdened, she is slow. Her joints creak, taxed from misuse. Her skin aches, softened by each footfall’s blow.

She is poisoned one time too many She is broken, she is drowning. Her mind is numb from pointless nights waiting Her heart worn by careless feet and lies.

She is bitter, caustic to the touch She is angry, she is frozen. Her hesitance leaves nothing, the body shuts down Her sorrow reaches out to find she is alone.

[wdteatdhic]

Thunder

This is what it feels like To try to sleep With our fight still brewing In my heart.

You told me no worries All will be well No hard feelings and still I’m so tense.

It’s a pressure building Under my skin And I want so badly For release.

Maybe I’ll sleep it off And wake without The fear that’s holding me Cold and tight.

[wdteatdhic]

Storm broke this morning.

[wdteatdhic]

Thunder

This is what it feels like To try to sleep With our fight still brewing In my heart. You told me no worries All will be well No hard feelings and still I'm so tense. It's a pressure building Under my skin And I want so badly For release. Maybe I'll sleep it off And wake without The fear that's holding me Cold and tight.

[wdteatdhic]

Flirting

Dig deeper

Open up

I want to know your secrets

And I would give you mine.

I want to be close to you

I want to be inside you

In your heart

Under skin

No hiding

No distance

I want others to wonder how

And I with a secret smile.

Except I can't and I hate this

But you are not mine to know

So again

I'm undone.

[wdteatdhic]

Remembering

I need a storm to calm my heart

I need a chance to breathe in

Lean in and trust in the wind

[wdteatdhic]

SIGH

[wdteatdhic]

Get over it

I want you to move fast through your stages

Of grief-like wonder

All consuming disbelief, excitement, what ifs and more.

Come to me accepting and with a plan to move on.

[wdteatdhic]

Benevolence

With so many crying out, I sometimes don't know who to choose. So starts a complicated dance of primacy and urgency, Which comes down to how much I have to give, And how much you've given. Ask and it will be given to you! Old debts fade away eventually; If they've been paid or not doesn't matter. But I remember the askers. Those who want. I will share with you what I have. Together we can learn the way.

[wdteatdhic]

Unrest

Today I am not gentle. Today I can't be still.

I move my hands slow But they want to wring things.

I breathe deep into my lungs And keep them from screaming.