metanoia

[weannewashere]

don’t overthink.

[weannewashere]

Because I wanted to document this weird, mundane, lonely, happy, therapeutic, quiet, unprecedented period I got to spend solely with myself - the nonstop phone-scrolling, plant checking, home working, snacking, protesting, solo picnicking, mask-wearing, zooming, netflix bingeing, and the thinking. Ahh, all the thinking.

First clip is from March 26, 2020. The rest of the clips are from June 2020.

[weannewashere]

These past few months, it’s been increasingly harder to stay positive about the state of the world. Britain leaving the EU, Trump winning the presidency, Marcos being buried as a hero, hospitals in Aleppo being bombed, rape jokes, misogyny, and racism finding a safe haven online, etc. What makes it even more difficult is when you speak out against race and gender inequality, climate change, inequitable healthcare and education… and the older generation scoffs. Entitled millennials, they say. You don’t know what you’re talking about, they say. Go back to your phones, they say. You’ll understand when you’re older, they say. This is how the world has always been. We sucked it up, you should too, they say.

It’s frustrating. It’s disheartening. I’m tired of being looked down on for my age, my relative inexperience. But now I have come to realize, maybe trying to change this generation’s opinion of us and our causes is a losing battle. They’re set in their ways. They’ve paid their dues.

Maybe that’s not where we should be focusing our energies. Maybe we’re not meant to influence their generation. Maybe we’re meant to influence the next. Maybe our contribution to this world is not in successfully convincing our elders that certain issues have to be fought for, but in creating a culture for future generations such that they would think anything other than true equality, justice, and social responsibility is unacceptable and must be protested against. That idea, that image, gives me hope.

Keep up the faith, keep up the fight.

[weannewashere]

Since I’m already bringing up past blogs, I thought this four-year-old one is particularly relevant today.

[weannewashere]

There are different kinds of brave.

There’s jumping off from an airborne plane with nothing but a parachute to bank your life on kind of brave. And then there’s the quiet kind of brave. There’s walking away. Trying something out for the very first time. Trying again. And again. Doing something that scares you. Standing up for something you believe in. Being kind. Leaving your family and friends to get married in another country with your one true love. Deciding to trust in someone. Allowing yourself to feel and fall. Fighting to make your dreams come true, or letting them go for someone else.

There’s in-your-face brave. Then there’s the quiet kind of brave. 

I guess what I’m saying is, I’m braver than I’ve been giving myself credit for.

[weannewashere]

I first wrote this about seven years ago, but every now and then I find myself going back to it. I’m a different person each time I repost it, and my circumstances are unique every time, but I find comfort and resolve every time I read these words. It’s a reminder that there’s goodness in vulnerability, a reassurance that my heart, soul, and mind, no matter how restless, are actually working the way they should be.

These past few months have been unsettling for most everyone in the world today, myself included. I had an option to move in with family members at the beginning of this lockdown, but I chose to stay in NYC, ultimately curious to see what kind of person I’d become when forced to live by myself and my own thoughts for an indefinite number of months. It hasn’t been that bad considering it could be so much worse, but also... I feel afloat and uncertain in this life I have chosen sometimes - living alone in a big city during a pandemic with inconsistent income and my immediate family oceans away from me. Without going into too much detail, I’ve wavered between quiet contentedness and the occasional deep loneliness throughout.

All things considered though, and without disregarding the privileges I inherently have, I think I’m coming out of this in a manner I’d be proud of. I take no pride in any event of my life that the rest of the world would call accomplishments, but I do feel a quiet peace with the character development I’ve seen in myself over the past few months and years. I’ve learned how to comfort and calm my own heart in silence, to take care of my own needs, while also trying to be a better person and holding space for other people that I’ve been blessed to have in my life. “Don’t be a lil b*tch,” is something a friend once told me, and I laughingly whisper that mantra to myself everytime I feel like collapsing into a mess. I’ve never been the in-your-face type of brave, and other people have definitely gone through more difficult times, but I do like the mental and emotional resilience that this life is slowly forging in me. 

Thank you, 24-year-old Weanne, for recognizing your potential for courage so many years ago.

[weannewashere]

I’ve always asked myself this. Now, I have a chance to know the answer.

[weannewashere]

Always remember to put others' needs above your own fears.

Megan Thee Markle’s highschool teacher

[grimhues]

imagine going to a convenient store with the love of your life at 3am to buy ice cream and you'll just wander around the town as you watch their eyes with the night stars glowing upon them as they ramble about how good the ice cream is.

a simple appreciation of smaller details of them that which turned into your favorite moment.

[weannewashere]

<3

[books-n-quotes]

“Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are.” — John Green, Paper Towns

[inspiring-pictures]

[weannewashere]

me to me

[thepersonalquotes]

[greatmindquotes]

“The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?” - Pablo Casals

[poemswords]

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche (via philosophyquotes)

[weannewashere]

I don’t know who needed to hear this today, but here you go, friend.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Since dogs can’t take acting lessons, anytime a dog is happy in a movie it was also happy in real life

[weannewashere]

a wholesome happy thought for these times <3

[weannewashere]

[weannewashere]

Anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety, and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.

Ira Byock, the Best Care Possible: A Physican's Quest to Transform Care Through The End of Life

[weannewashere]

sometimes, all we want in the world is someone who would make us feel less alone. ✨