Hi, Taylor @taylorswift I don't know how to start...
Tonight I heard for the first time "Soon You'll Get Better" even though Lover came out 8 months ago. Why it took me so long? Well like the rest of the fandom I knew what the song is about and I didn't feel ready to hear it because one year ago my mom was diagnosed with a type of skin cancer.
I think I won't ever be able to forget the moment we found out. I had to work that day and she went to the doctor alone. We noticed something weird on her face so I asked her to go and see a dermatologist. All the day I was nervous because something was telling me that something was wrong. It was like when you are seeing a movie and you know what's going to happen but I didn't want to admit... who would?
She picked me up that day and on our way home she told me what the doctor said. I had the worst panic attack. I had to ask her to stop the car and started crying. I'm not a doctor, I know nothing about cancer but when a heard the word I thought the worst. I was so afraid. What if it was too late? What if I lost my mother?
I wanted to have another opinion so we went to see another doctor (the first one was so mean and rude to my mom). The second one confirmed the diagnose. But she explained to us that it wasn't dangerous and all she needed was a surgery and to start taking care of her skin to reduce the solar damage in order to prevent another tumor.
It was a carcinoma, but it didn't matter all I read about it, all I could think was that it was cancer. The day of the surgery came, I was so nervous. I saw the photos of what they had to remove, I was so impressed i don't have the words to explain how I felt. I thought that was the worst part but it wasn't.
After that, my mom felt so depressed she felt guilty because when she was young she never used solar screen. She was afraid that her face will have a huge scar forever. She really was so sad and I tried to help her feel better but nothing worked. I felt so useless and bad because I also was being so selfish thnking about my emotions when she was the most important one on that moment. Those months were so rough.
Today, one year later she's cancer free. Her doctor was so good you can barely see the scar. My mom now has to go every year for five years to check how's everything but her doctor says that is not very likely that the cancer will return.
She feels better and that's why I decided that it was the right moment to listen to the song. Every word reminded me what we went through. I'm crying but I also feel happy because my mon indeed is better and still with me. I just wanted to share this don't know really why but I just felt the need to.
Taylor, don't know if you will ever read this but I want you to know that I hope your mom will get better. I pray for you, for her and for everyone who's going through something similiar. When all of this happened I felt so alone and you and your family might feel the same way but you're not.
Thank you for sharing a song so personal, tonight it helped me to close a chapter.
