Miriam Katin’s memoir begins in Budapest, Hungary, during the Second World War. Although it had served as “a safe haven for Jewish refugees”, that safety was threatened in March 1944 when the Germans took over Hungary (“Budapest”). Rumours of deportations had spread, and soon would reach Budapest (Katin 14). By June, about 25 000 Jews were being forced into designated buildings, then sent to Auschwitz to be killed (“Budapest”). It was during this period that Katin and her mother escaped, but they couldn’t have done it alone.
Raoul Wallenberg was a Swedish diplomat, and one of several influential figures who helped organize the evacuation of many jewish refugees. They provided false papers (documents that would help to establish a new identity), as well as the location of safe houses (Katin 18-19). It was thanks to the efforts of men like Wallenberg that Miriam, and the 100,000 Jews remaining in Budapest, managed to survive the war (“Raoul Wallenberg”).
Miriam and her mother managed to find refuge for a time in the wine country. By the winter however, the ongoing conflict between the German Nazis and the Russian Soviets had endangered their lives, forcing them to flee once again (Katin p. 48-54). Meanwhile in Budapest, Jews were being gathered in the ghetto and shot (“Budapest”)
Budapest was freed on Feb. 13 1945, and Miriam’s father arrived following the spring in search of his family. Many survivors were now displaced from their old homes, and after the war ended, were desperate to be reunited with whatever family they still had (“Displaced Persons”). Although some could not bear to return to the place where they lost so much, Miriam and her family did eventually move back to Budapest.
With the Germans occupying Hungary, new laws restricted the lives of the Jewish community. Apartments were evacuated and pets were banned. Early in the memoir, Katin shows what life was like in the relatively peaceful time living in Budapest before being forced into hiding. At first glance it was a life like any other Hungarian. Her mother had nice clothing and a maid so she would have been a higher class. They were able to walk about freely and enjoy the afternoon, but as can be seen through her mother Esther’s jokes about “Jewish dogs”, this is a mask to the real tension beneath (Katin 8-9). In order to distract Lisa (who represents Miriam), she is taken to see Snow White, which was recently rereleased at the time (history.com).
The tension between the Jewish people and those who opposed them is revealed as the memoir goes on. Some, like the landlord, share their true feelings behind Esther’s back, others are more blunt and call her out directly (Katin 13). Even disguised as a “village girl with an illegitimate child” Esther must be constantly on her guard. She is constantly harassed by men around her, and in order to keep her daughter safe she must “play along”, whether that means talking back to the soldiers at the train station, or submitting to the desires of a Nazi officer (Katin 25, 43).
Life during the war was a constant struggle. Besides the prejudice of others, there was the very real fight for survival. The threat of bombs from overhead, and the Russian soldiers with an apparent disregard for anyone besides themselves, caused a village to flee to the place Lisa and Esther were staying. In their words “for them, we are the same as the Germans. We are enemy.” (Katin 54). Even in this conflict however, there was some sense of community. From the refugees gathered under one roof, to a war-torn village who manage to get through by looting the bodies of dead soldiers (Katin 75-76).
Life was especially challenging for Lisa’s mother, Esther. Although she seemed fairly well off initially, Esther was forced into a much lower social status. As Dana Mihailescu writes in her article, “...she is no longer the elegant high-class lady who used to have hired servants but she becomes a servant” (Mihailescu 145). Being a Jewish mother would have been hard enough on its own given the circumstances. But on top of this was her disguise which got her unwanted attention, and the fact that she had been carrying the unwanted child of the Nazi officer. The position she was in was humiliating and demeaning. Despite all this however, there were people willing to look past all that and help her. David Blau was one such man, who was willing to marry Esther and give Lisa a life like what they had before. He was well off and even had a French governess. From his perspective, if her husband didn’t return then this would be a good thing for Esther. As it turns out, Károly did return, and their life did return more or less to what it was. Only after everything they’ve been through, some things would never be the same.
Throughout the memoir, there are many references to the Jewish culture that Esther and Lisa are a part of. From the importance of tradition, to a shared belief of that God is present all around them, these things bring them together. Over the course of their journey however, the two of them are forced to leave behind their culture in order to survive. And while Esther remains firm in her beliefs, for Lisa, the contrast between what she has been told, and what she sees leaves her with second thoughts that remain with her until adulthood.
As a child, Lisa has naive understanding of faith, as she can not fully grasp all that is going on in the world. There are points where the adults try to comfort Lisa by reassuring her of God’s presence while simultaneously holding back the full truth. This can be seen when Esther tells Lisa that her dog has gone to “Dog heaven”, and later when she is told that “God’s only truth is in these barrels.”, in reference to the wine they drink to drown out the war (Katin 15, 50). In each of these situations Lisa takes their words at face value, believing them to be literal.
The most critical moment comes when Lisa witnesses her mother destroying all evidence of their identity, including their faith. Lisa believes she is destroying God himself. Although her mother attempts to reassure her saying “You can’t burn God silly. He will be with us everywhere helping. You will see.”, that image has remained with Lisa, becoming a catalyst for her change in faith as she grows older (Katin 23).
This burning of identities is perhaps just as hard for Esther, as it means they no longer have that connection to their culture, their family, to who they are. Although she tries to maintain a firm faith in God, it would certainly not have been easy when the world around her discouraged it. There is one scene that displays this more subtly. On the train, a woman kindly offers a bit of pork sausage to Lisa, unaware of their background, (Katin 26). As Dana writes, “At first, Esther resists this woman’s offer by using the formula “She is not hungry” in the name of an ethnic belief, i.e. as a means of upholding the Hebrew forbiddance to eat non-kosher pork. However, as the hungry Lisa eagerly holds out her hand, Esther succumbs to the daughter’s plea and, at the same time, religious prescriptions are also symbolically transgressed” (Mihailescu 143). In other words, Esther is in a situation where the traditions and practices of her Jewish background would not be acceptable, and so must to avoid being impolite, she must give it up.
Traditions are part of what keeps the Jewish faith alive through generations. Nowhere is this better shown than through the scenes of parent and child reading the Bible together. Lisa with her mother, and later as a mother herself, with her own son (Katin 4, 101). As an adult however, she is conflicted. She no longer believes that the faith she grew up with is necessarily the right thing. Unlike her husband, who wants to have their son attend a Hebrew school and have the same childhood he did. Miriam notes at the end of her memoir that like her father, she was comfortable with the literary and ethical background of her Jewish culture, but still maintained a form of atheism. And while this was fine in Hungary, living in New York was a different story. She says, “...I had to allow for a more conservative approach to Jewish lifestyle. You had to belong and show it.” (Katin 126). In the end the Jewish culture she grew up with will still be a part of her family’s lives, but now it is different than what it was.
While researching the historical context within the memoir, I found it very helpful to visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s website. The article on Budapest in particular helped me to get a better understanding of what was happening in Lisa’s hometown at the time of the war. What exactly they were fleeing from, and what could’ve happened to them if they stayed. There’s no questioning that the events of the memoir took place during World War II, but it was finding more specific dates; like the period of deportations, or Budapest’s liberation, that gave the memoir a greater sense of reality to me.
Reading about the efforts of Raoul Wallenberg as well, put the events in a greater perspective. He may not have been a direct part of Miriam Katin’s escape, but there were clearly people like him out there. People who cared. At the time her memoir was written, there were many, many people with stories like Miriam Katin. Survivors. Some went on to tell their stories in books, others through art perhaps, and there were likely many others who preferred not to speak of it at all. But I would imagine a large number of them would have made it with the help of people like him.
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/budapest
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/raoul-wallenberg-and-the-rescue-of-jews-in-budapest
Greenberg, Moshe, et al. “Judaism”. Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica, inc., August 13, 2019, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Judaism
History.com Editors. “Disney Releases Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”. History, A&E Television Networks, 27 July, 2019, https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/disney-releases-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs
Katin, Miriam. We Are on Our Own. Montreal. Drawn & Quarterly, 2006.
Mihailescu, Dana. “Performing the Gendered Self”. American Visual Memoirs after the 1970s. edited by Mihaela Precup, Editura Universităţii din Bucureşti, 2010, pp. 139-154. https://www.academia.edu/1826819/Performing_the_Gendered_Self._The_Stakes_of_Affect_in_Miriam_Katin_s_We_Are_On_Our_Own
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. “Budapest”. Holocaust Encyclopedia, https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/budapest
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. “Displaced Persons”. Holocaust Encyclopedia, https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/displaced-persons
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. “Raoul Wallenberg And The Rescue of The Jews in Budapest”. Holocaust Encyclopedia, https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/raoul-wallenberg-and-the-rescue-of-jews-in-budapest
