Nobody cares about Twain.

@weather-warlock-blog

Ask & RP Blog for Weather Warlock, member of the Reverse-Flash Task Force, the RENEGADES. independent Magic!anon: none GMT +02:00 tracking: renegadewarlock

1,065 posts

adeadmonarch‌:

What.

Matt, what. What kind of– do I need to go parent-monitor on your cartoon husband games? And once again, still not gonna immediately ‘go Rogue’ here.

[( He can’t help but laugh again, hand rubbing through his hair. You, sir, are ridiculous. He’s not about to turn a pillow into a Mardon love-pillow made out of a stolen shirt and shame. )]

– I mean, maybe? It’d make me feel a little less creepy, I think, but like. I don’t think there’s much of a rush. It’d be nice to have a key. Then my poor keychain wouldn’t just be like, house key, bar key, house key to Len’s place he somehow snuck on my keyring when I wasn’t looking. I can even get you one of those cute uhh, key-fob things. The covers?

I think they make those in cartoon husband shapes. You can even pick out who or what represents you.

Please don’t, you’d only embarrass yourself. Most of the games I play are made for young girls anyway. You should totally start training how to be a little bit more rogue-ish tho, so it won’t surprise Mardon that much when you finally ask him out.

[Matt pushed his face right into Boomerang’s fur and only peeked up at Charlie at the mention of the key covers.]

I’ll get you a copy of mine asap. Also such a cover would be highly appreciated. It’ll fit my keyring.

[Which was of course completely overloaded with all kinds of cute, mostly japanese-based keychains.]

Considering the place we’re in and our history I’d totally go for a Flash cover. ...but only if it doesn’t give you bad feelings, because, you know, the other Wally stealing your man and all that. So maybe a rather neutral cover would be better, like, a raincloud or something. Then again you might mess things up when you get Mardon’s key one day and the raincloud is already taken and-

adeadmonarch‌:

What? Why? I think I’m broader than him anyway–

Unless you want one?

Is it still stealing to steal from a criminal? I think there’s some moral codelines we’re crossing here.

[( His teasing grin went into a full beaming smile and he pushed up, half-scrambling for a boring looking bowl easily missed on the kitchen countertop. A few rubberbands went flying but then he’s producing a key and making his way back to Matt to press the metal object to his hand.

Yours now. )]

Awesome. i’m gonna be so annoying you’ll wish you never said I could come over.

Nope, he’s all yours. Just... I dunno, put it under your pillow or something. I can also get you a giant teddy bear you can put it on? However, don’t think so much about moral here. You’re about to go rogue, don’t you?

[Matt’s eyes became bigger when he received the spare key and he fumbled some time to put it into his pocket without having to get rid of Boomerang first.]

You know, I’d totally give you my key as well but as you don’t really need it... ...do you still want one? Because I can always get a copy for you.

adeadmonarch‌:

Mostly, yeah. Brian gathered some weird stuff, and Heat’s got a little here and there but nothing hyper interesting. Anders ended up on babysitting duty for this little girl for a bit so he had some things related to her in there but I’ve pilfered all the cool things like jackets and long sleeve shirts.

[( That… made him sound like a weird girlfriend, didn’t it? All your clothes are now Mine. Really he’s just too lazy to go clothes shopping at resale shops again. There are more things in life he wants to do rather than feel the wrath of Rathaway again.

But then Matt had to go be cute and he couldn’t help the little squeak of ‘awh’ that escaped. )]

I miss you too, buddy. I mean yeah I miss everyone, but it’s kinda worse when I know you’re here and I just… can’t see you as much, y’know?

Leave me your address before you go and I’ll start trying to be that annoying friend that just pops up. Except I’ll literally pop up. Write on a mirror with a marker if you don’t want me in that day. I’ve started teaching Boomerang how to handle himself in the mirror-reality in case we get attacked and he needs to hide, but I’ll probably still use the door like a normal person if he comes with me.

And now that you know where I live, same. You can come over whenever, even if I’m not here. I got plenty of spare keys laying around.

Aw, that’s cute. Still, I’ve got some homework for you. Next time you happen to be at Mardon’s place snatch yourself one of his shirts. He doesn’t even have to know, just... grab it and make a run for it.

[Matt snuggled against Boomerang on his lap and tried to ruffle his ears while also not losing his grip on the dog. He also tried not to cry and blinked hard at Charlie’s words.]

You can come by anytime you want, really. I’ll leave you my address, of course, and yeah, just feel free to pop up whenever. And... yeah, I guess I’d like to get one of your spare keys.

[At least he didn’t look like crying anymore but was clearly embarrassed.]

adeadmonarch‌:

What, are they gonna show up to yell at us for code violation?

[( Charlie grinned. he knew it was a bad idea but all this ‘innocent’ breaking and entering with Wally as starting to effect him, and then Mark in general. Come back, everyone, he’s starting to turn into the lamest bad-boy; breaking in to bedrooms and rifling a sock drawer. )]

And I dunno, I like it here? But it’s certainly a lot bigger than my old apartment back home, or up above the bar where I used to sleep. But at the same time, the rent’s cheap enough? I think someone died here. I’m not hurting for cash with how I budget and forget to buy groceries. and then there’s that part that’s like “What if they come back?”

Sometimes I can’t open the bedroom doors and i’m like “oh! A portal must be opening?” but then nothing. It’s super weird. So i’m kind of tempted to just turn this place into my weird hovel. A landlord will come by and think I’m part of a conspiracy ring.

...true.

[he had to admit with a little shrug. Charlie’s words made sense after all, especially when it was still an affordable place despite its space. The dying thing made Matt shudder nonetheless. He was clearly none who would accompany Charlie on his ghost hunts.]

So, what’s in their rooms anyway? Clothes, probably, a couple of books... is there anything interesting? Like, a diary or so?

[Matt was still not sure whether he really wanted to be confronted with the empty rooms of their friends. So instead he made the effort of hauling Boomerang onto his lap, wrapping his arms around the dog.]

You know... I mostly work in the evenings, but as for any other time you’re free to come to my place. I can cook for us and... well, spend some time with you when you’re feeling lonely. You can even bring this fuzzy bear here with you, I don’t mind. I... just really miss you sometimes, Charlie.

adeadmonarch‌:

I’m still going to keep up my end of the deal here, so you keep the wedding bells out of your head until you transition from 2D back to 3D like the rest of us.

Or no, is it 4D? Crap it’s been too long.

Either way, I dunno if smearing butter on your future partner is a great start.

[( Burger finished, Charlie polished off his cola before relaxing back in the chair. There! he talked this out with matt and vaguely came to some kind of conclusion. But now, err, what now? He hadn’t thought past this. He glanced around the main room, eyes catching on the two opposite hallways that lead to bedrooms. Heat and Top on one side, Cold and himself on the other– but they were all empty. Charlie glanced to the side. Back to Matt. Sat up a little straighter. )]

You wanna go through everyone’s rooms? It’s not like they’re in there, and I’ve been in a couple times just to check for things. I keep thinking about turning one of them into a dark room for photos but I can’t decide who.

I guess it’s 4D but I wouldn’t mind if it’s any D.

[Matt actually dabbed after this awesome joke of his but went back to sipping on his Fanta again quickly. His mind tried to picture himself with any guy - he tried not to think of the Commander anymore, that’s how pissed he was - but really failed. His imagination was good for nothing today. There simply was no one around he felt like getting to know better.]

Hm? Is that even allowed?

[He sat up straighter as well, pondering whether or not it was a good idea to look at the others’ rooms.]

...I dunno, man. I think it’ll just make me depressed. Or angry. Probably both, at the same time. You could totally move into a smaller, cheaper place, I guess. Isn’t it lonely in such a big apartment and there’s only you and Boomerang?

#adeadmonarch #((I'm just surprised it took me so long to mess up tbh))

adeadmonarch‌:

By our nerd powers combined you’d think we’d know what the old-world word was for this kind of thing. I’m going to stick with concubine though, cause it at least sounds fancier.

[( Ah… Charlie’s eyes sort of glossed over as he stared just over Matt’s shoulder, absolutely trying not to imagine what his friend had said. The outfit felt ridiculous in his head and he snorted, biting down on his lip to keep a laugh in. And then failing. Boomerang’s ear twitched up at the sound before laying flat again because hey, it’s not falling food. No matter to him. )]

Hell, sorry– That’s. I’m so glad we never had undercover missions of that sort. I would’ve had to be our entry and exit and I don’t think I could’ve kept quiet. With your luck you’d probably snap an ankle trying to walk in heels. I know I would.

Ah, man. So what are you going to do if one of your big boys asks you out? Use the excuse of ‘sorry I just work here’? Though I can’t imagine this century is that super open about same gender dating. I know it’s getting better but the mob was always… I never did find the exact date that it wasn’t a problem anymore.

Look, I could tell you stuff about Maid Cafes and so on, but I never exactly studied political correct terms for those people. So stick with concubine while I refuse to speak of this at all.

[Charlie’s laugh made him snort a little, then grin and eventually laugh as well. It was a hilarious thought but Matt was glad it had never come to this.]

You know, when I was way younger I played dress up with my mom’s clothes and walked around in her way too big heels as well. I’m not made for that kind of thing, I can tell.

[He leaned back, really trying to imagine one of the customers stepping up to the counter like this……. he failed.]

Nah, as far as I know they mostly are quite religious, especially the Italians. And then all of this family-thing like having a ton of kids and marriage and stuff. Just forget about it, I’ll go back to my dating sims. Maybe I’ll run into some hot guy while running around the corner with some toast in my mouth because I’m too late for work.

#adeadmonarch #((and there I finally messed up replying to this on mark))

adeadmonarch‌:

Too bad, I’m taking your comment and totally trying to imagine you as a concubine more. Do you think he’d make you wear a dress? You kind of have the body for it. One of the longer slinky ones you always see in those vaguely racist action movies set in other countries?

[( This is what happens when people try to force him to watch too many movies for ‘pop culture studying’, okay? This is it. This century did this to him. Charlie barreled right ahead, ignoring Matt’s plea to just ‘do’, instead choosing to latch and tease his friend about this imaginary mobster boyfriend. )]

Better than prostitute, right? Or, no, that’s a different job. Crap what’s the word for it? Escort? I know it’s not arm candy.

… [( He glanced down at Boomerang who had made himself comfy at their feet, waiting for scraps. )]

Sugar baby? If he’d be the ‘daddy’, right?

[Matt rolled his eyes but was luckily enough amused enough not to kick Charlie.]

I’m so not into wearing dresses, sorry to disappoint. Although I can see it, somehow. Some glittery dress probably that shines in the spotlight and I stand there in the bar, singing stupid songs while Laurel or Hardy plays the piano. Oh, and a feather boa would be essential to complete the look. Still, nope. Not gonna happen.

[Pursing his lips he armed himself with the second burger, already eyeing the remainder of the order. Although he loved animals he’d probably fight Boomerang for the scraps.]

Whatever it is, it’s nothing that’ll happen soon. All the guys in the bar are so not my type. I enjoy working there and it’s cute to watch the lower gangsters being scolded by their bosses, but yeah. That’s it. Also, I don’t think sugar baby is the correct term either. But I’m just a nerd so how would I know?

adeadmonarch‌:

Wow! Give me some credit! I’ve never really been that kind of guy, you know? I was always kind of super married to my job so I didn’t feel the need to go get laid or find a partner as much as some of you. I’m fine playing wingman and going out for the night but, y’know.

Job would’ve just kept me from someone.

Wasn’t really worth it.

[( You’re a horrible fry thief but he won’t argue. He should’ve foreseen this and bought like, four servings worth. Oh well, the rest of the food should fill the void fries left behind. )]

So being here and not having that over me is another thing I need to try to get over. I’ve been like this for decades, Matt. It’s weird to suddenly have free time. And to suddenly have people wanting to fill my time with themselves at the same time. I’m not going to rush into anything just because, but like I said I’m. I’ll try? I’m trying.

– aha, god, sorry. I just imagined you as some high-end concubine? Real old-school. Attractive criminal mastermind using you as arm candy, unknowing what you used to be and still kind of are? It’s really funny to me.

Especially with one of those martini shakers in your hand or something, trying to flirt-not-flirt with your mobster boyfriend in front of his criminal friends? It’d be like one of those cheesy crime flicks that got popular in this century.

[He used the time Charlie was talking to stuff his face, nodding sometimes or making mumbled sounds that signaled his understanding. Yeah well, the time factor had been a thing for all of them, but Charlie probably the most in a way. At least he constantly used it as a cheap excuse for everything. Matt chuckled and drank some of his Fanta to wash down the first burger.]

Yeah, then try. Or rather, not just try, do. The dating thing. Not the imagining me as a concubine. Do people still call it that nowadays? ...it kind of sounds so romantic, doesn’t it?

[He swooned a little, but not enough to stop forgetting the food.]

adeadmonarch‌:

What is with Mardons and going after Reneg– wait, the one I was absolutely justifiably worried about that was after you? Was actually after you?

I want nobody to second guess me ever again. Can we get that in writing?

[( He frowned, prodding at his hamburger. )]

You could always be a high-end escort. Only date the classiest of the criminal underground and the mobsters with backup plans on their backup plans so you don’t get caught by rival gangs. … On second thought don’t. With your luck you’d gain some reputation of managing to curse every gang around. Get them all caught. Great for us, bad for the bounty I’m sure they’d put on your head.

[( Charlie swiped the fries right out of Matt’s hand when they’re pointed at him, cramming them into his mouth before the other can protest. )]

I’ll make fun of your husbandos all I want. Especially since you have husbandos. But, look, i’m not– there’s no heavy emotional investment here. Mardon’s been through enough he probably deserves more than another cop on his belt technically in a rebound phase, even if it is just how you say and just for fun. Maybe the weird thing with Wa– A Wally will work out for him. I’m starting to realize there’s something about speedsters here and falling into bed with their criminals.

[Matt shifted nervously on his chair.]

Nah, not really. I mean we kinda flirted? But nothing came of it anyway and it sure as hell wasn’t anything serious. So no, I guess, he wasn’t actually after me.

[He whined when Charlie snatched away his fries and decided that the few remaining fries in the little bag were totally his alone now.]

...yeah, that would be tragically. Although being a high-end escort sounds like fun... and some of these Italian mobster bosses are at least quite attractive. Still, I guess I’m too used to costumes to appreciate the power of a fine pinstriped suit.

[Quickly, the Warlock finished the fries and got himself the other burger. It wasn’t going to stop him from chatting on tho.]

Wow, are you really considering here what might be best for Mardon? Well, it’s not really like he’s about to die tomorrow or the day after, so I guess... some fun can still be had without feeling bad for not proposing to him right away? You know what I think this is? A missed opportunity. Grab him as long as he’s still available, check if he’s good for anything else than talking big and... well, whatever follows then. You can still leave him for Wally or whoever wants him when you don’t feel like putting up with his shit anymore.

adeadmonarch‌:

Not to like, step on Top’s toes here, but we’d kill each other if we tried. I’m apparently a gross bachelor and you’re somehow more of a nerd than I am. It’d never work, even if we ignored how you’re like a little brother to me.

[( He waved a fry in Matt’s face. Bad thought. Absolutely. nothing he’s ever thought about before Totally. )]

… But pulling age rank here, how about this? You find yourself someone too, and I’ll debate calling Mardon and not purposely dodge his advances like I’m in a low-budget action film. ‘Cause I worry about you and all, you can’t live off pillow-cuddling alone. You need cuddle-contact like that way more than I do.

And! Until then, I won’t dodge anyone else’s advances, either. So if they approach me, I won’t avoid like the plague. But I’m not going to suddenly start putting myself out there.

Zero effort on my part. Until you do something about your only romantic contact being phone game virtual boyfriends.

[That earned him a snort which almost sent Fanta through Matt’s nostrils. Luckily, only almost.]

True, also my pillow husbando would be so, so sad.

[Matt sneakily pulled the fries a tiny bit closer towards himself while he listened to Charlie’s suggestion.]

I don’t know - I mean, yeah sure, it does sound like a plan. But there really is no one around for me. I once had this almost-a-thing with another Mardon but that one’s gone longer than the Commander. At work I only meet mobsters and other lowlifes, not even the high-class rogues I’d consider dating.

[In fact, he had met Axel walker once, but he wouldn’t even mention the brat now.]

Good thing is I can totally lose myself in my games and comics so I rarely realize how lonely I really am. And hey, Mystic Messenger isn’t that bad, so leave my other husbandos out of this.

[he pointed a couple of fries right back at Charlie.]

What I’m sayin’ is, don’t wait for me to get someone worthy of replacing my pillow-man, or else Mardon might be taken. Because something tells me he’s realizing he’s getting old and will die alone if he doesn’t start acting like a decent human being who’s looking for his better half.

adeadmonarch‌:

… Maybe you’re the one who needs to get laid to clear their head, yeesh.

[( Still, even though he knew the other man’s feelings, it feels nice to hear someone else snap and rant about it. Charlie felt a grin crawling across his face as he snorted and took a swig of his drink. They handle things differently, that’s the cut and dry of it. But Matt was right. Sure he was a little right himself, but Matt was more… ‘move on’ right. )]

You know, you could loan me your husbando if you’re so worried. Or I could buy one. My birthday is coming up if you need ideas.

Serious talk though and then we can go back to talking about how lonely you think my dick is? Out of all of us, I always figured you guys would get picked up, at least. That’s kind of what I’m hoping happened to the rest. Because, hey, you’re alive to them. You’re just displaced! No man left behind counts there, because there is a chance they can find you. I was, am? I uh, I’m kind of already off the radar from what I was told, and what I heard. And what I learned. I nearly got kicked out of the police station for asking for public records about where they found my body.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is keep being mad, but don’t give up yet. And that you’re kinda right I should probably throw in the towel and go Rogue.

[( Charlie reached over as he spoke to the entire box of fries that still remained in the bag, popping it open and setting between the two. it’ll be a fight to the death later, but now he’s reaching to snag a few and eat. )]

Guess it wouldn’t be that hard to find someone even if it’s not Mark when my type tends to be ‘taller than me’. But, you know. You’re not wrong. Chips are already in order there.

Ya, maybe. You know, if we weren’t like brothers in a way... but the mind boggles. So maybe I’ll get you a dakimakura as well, yeah. Any specific wishes? Who would you like to cuddle with?

[Matt smirked again despite his earlier rant - maybe because the fries were now laying right in front of him. He got himself some as well, happily munching away.]

Man, I’m a walking disaster. If I were the guys I’d be glad if I got misplaced.

[He snorted, obviously not too bothered by the thought of maybe being deliberately left behind.]

...I mean, I know it’s not like that and they would try to come and get me. But who says they even know I’m here? Maybe there’s two of us and there still is one like me with the old team. Everything is possible here, I guess. So I’ll try to make the best of it, bottle up all that anger and disappointment and homesickness and move the fuck on. What else is there I could do anyway?

[More fries found their way into Matt’s clutches.]

But I’m glad you start thinking like a healthy young man again, bro. Ha, did you hear that? I called you bro. So why don’t you give that wizard with the powerful wand a call or so and ask him out for a change? Just imagine his face!

adeadmonarch‌:

My head is f–

[( Ah. Alright, he couldn’t even finish that one. There’s lying, and then there’s blatant lying to someone right in front of you who probably knew a whole, whole lot better than that to even entertain the idea of believing it. He frowned. Pouted. Grumbled under his breath and chewed on his lip. )]

Is that not kind of what this is though? Mark just happens to already be the highest bidder, and the cow is really, really stubborn. Bull-headed. I mean I used to go to bars with Brian all the time, but I always passed everyone who came up to me onto him. Would it be that different to just… not pass them off anymore? This century is so ridden with disease too, it’s kinda scary-gross.

[( He squinted and passed off the last of the food to be plated and set at the table. What did Matt even want to drink? He didn’t bother getting that from the bar. He had, uh, juice? And water. And beer, along with stronger stuff but… oh! Sodas! He had a few of those. Charlie squinted into his fridge for a few seconds before giving up, shrugging, and waving his hand at the drink contents in a ‘have what you want’ way. He snagged a cola for himself. )]

So I want to put you down in writing when, or if Commander comes back, or when or if we get back home to our proper timelines that ‘Warlock told me to do it!’ is my reasoning for why I fraternized with the enemy. You good with that? Because this all still sounds like a horrible idea to me.

It’s just– it’s not me. I worked so hard for all of this, in this mind set, and just because historical figures turned out to be stupidly attractive instead of ugly mug shots shouldn’t be some huge breaking point for me.

You’re fucking lonely, that’s what you are. And you don’t even have one of those body pillows to cry into because of it.

[was Matt’s answer to Charlie’s pouting, even when it was a rude way to say it. He clearly didn’t want to hurt him, he was just worried. And not the best with words.]

I would I know? I’ve never been a cow. I just think he tried quite hard and I’m not exactly saying that you should reward him for it but... it’s still more than going home with the next best guy from the bar, isn’t it?

[He followed Charlie’s wave at the fridge and snatched himself a Fanta before sitting down at the table. Although he was always hungry, he still focused on the Monarch.]

You can totally blame it all on me, I’m fine with that. I didn’t want to say it out loud but it gets easier when you stop hoping. Like, hoping to get back home or whatever. I’m not bitter - well, maybe a little - but as far as I can see it, we’re stuck here for good and part of me simply stopped crying myself to sleep at night because of it. Even if you don’t want to hear me sayin’ so, but I don’t believe anybody’s coming to get us. And if they do, I’ll kick their asses and ask ‘em why it took ‘em so damn long. Nobody’s going to make me explain myself, not even the Commander. I’m fucking sick of spending my time here waiting for a miracle to happen. Fuck all of this.

[He had to catch his breath after this rant and took a big gulp of his Fanta.]

adeadmonarch‌:

I don’t want to discuss my love-life anymore! I liked it better when everyone kind of forgot I existed sexually and just let me do my weird pining thing.

[( This time it was a full on whine as he all but sunk head-first onto the counter. He’ll get up in a second, right now his forehead needs to sap life-force out of this non-sentient laminate. )]

I was perfectly fine before, I don’t see why I can’t be perfectly fine now. It’s not like my arms are broken! I still have hands and semi-archaic technology from this century. Why are you so damn invested in getting me laid?

[( Now that the doors are closed and it’s just them and a dog, Charlie is more than fine letting his voice get a little high and strangled. It’s not quite yelling, but it’s certainly more … emotional? than before. Distressed but not distressed. You’re killin’ him here, Matt.

He pushed up off the counter and went to get plates because maybe, MAYBE he can shut Matt up for a few minutes with food. Maybe. Then again he did talk right through saying hello to Boomerang so who knows. )]

Look if I get really, really thirsty I’m sure I could just blow a whistle and hold out my arms in the bar I work at and ask who wants to take me home tonight. Besides, if, and I mean if I just up and threw in the towel?

If I walked right up to Mardon and told him alright! Game’s over! I’m in, lets do this sex thing! he’ll probably send me to the hospital thinking something is wrong with my head.

Oh, you totally knew what I was up to when you agreed meeting me. I won’t let you off the hook that easily now, sweetheart.

[Grinning, Matt patted Charlie’s back and tried hard not to imagine his best friend doing anything with his hands or the mentioned semi-archaic technology.]

I’d say, I’m so invested in you getting laid because I have this feeling that it might clear your head a little. You know, making contact with another human being, as in, not only bartender/customer but maybe... well. More than that.

[He followed Charlie around like an annoying little puppy, at least taking the plates from him to place them on the dining table. A little frown couldn’t be suppressed tho as he set them down.]

...don’t talk like that. You’re not going to simply offer yourself to the highest bidder like some cow. Even when this isn’t exactly like an auction. But still. Just don’t.

[Matt was still frowning and hovered close by in case he could help some more now that he had started.]

...you think so? Maybe he would be surprised after all the turn downs, but...

[He shrugged a bit helplessly.]

...maybe he’d also take good care of you? I mean he even went through the trouble to ask you for a date first and all, and seeing you being still in one piece and not crying naked under the shower, I guess it was a rather decent time you had. Also, he knows. Like, about us. About how this place works.

adeadmonarch‌:

“What’s the problem with that?” he says, before listing exactly what the problem with that is.

[( He’s going to shove his friend into a wall at this rate, but he won’t. He just really, really wants to. But there are burgers and chicken strips in the bag that he doesn’t want to end up on the floor so he’ll resist. Somehow.

Charlie groaned, or more whined, and unlocked the door to his apartment. Immediately there was a ‘boof?’ of confused hello, and then dog paws, and then Boomerang sticking his nose right where Matt probably doesn’t want it as he investigated the new person. )]

I’m not going to fuck Mardon! It’s weird! I’m pretty sure rule number one is ‘don’t sleep with history’ on the list of things people who can do what we do shouldn’t do. I’m not thirsty or desperate enough, okay? We’re just… weird friends.

It just so happens this friend apparently really likes my face.

[( Charlie muttered and made his way to the kitchen countertop to deposit the food. Did he clean this morning? Does it matter? Matt’s seen his– or at least one version of his– work desk. A few shirts thrown around, photos, and a conspiracy board for universe going-ons is nothing. )]

And there isn’t– we didn’t try to set up any second not-date as far as I remember. Sorry to crush your dreams. What about you? You get any further in trying to find someone, or is your husband-pillow enough love these days.

Yeah, “problem”.

[Matt did this thing with his fingers implying quotation marks. Maybe it’s just that he’s kinda given up on hoping that they’ll ever return to their original times and places. Or he’s just very simple-minded. Or both. Boomerang's greeted with a high-pitched noise of pure rapture and Matt started ruffling the dog’s fur, leaving the ordered food once again to Charlie. Making friends with his friend’s dog was more important, obviously.]

Oh, I’m sure he likes more than just your face, Charlie. I guess we can totally stop worrying about history at that point, don’t you think? Things are already messed up beyond hope even without our doing. Sleeping around with history won’t matter that much anyway.

[Matt simply shrugged and gave Boomerang a last pat before looking over the things Charlie had brought. Oh, and he also looked around his place but didn’t seem perturbed by the fact that this was not a completely sterile home.]

What do you mean, no second date? Do I have to cancel my wedding invitation cards and all the other shit I already had planned? Dude. Charlie. How long has it been since you’ve gotten laid? Or laid someone, I don’t know and I don’t care which way around. If it’s not Mardon, then... I dunno. There are some interesting people around, I suppose.

Oh, and don’t try to turn the tables, this is your love-life we’re discussing right now.

adeadmonarch‌:

He’s not dating me!

[( Oops that was slightly loud. The kids who hung out outside his apartment building actually turned their attention to the two as he winced and shuffled Matt quicker into the building.

It’s decently nice, nowhere near run-down, and clearly a little much for just one guy and a dog. Now get in the elevator before he says anything else stupid and loudly. )]

Why would I care who he’s seeing? And I didn’t kick him over it. I was a little too drunk for that anyway.

[( Charlie huffed and stabbed at the proper floor number, shifting their to-go food around in his arms for a better hold. Boomerang will probably want to say hi when he walks in, better prepare now. )]

You’re really convinced about this whole me dating him thing, huh? Is the uh– me? Is the me back where you’re from super desperate? I’d like to think I’m not noticeably super thirsty. Then again my whole rating scale just goes off being able to hide a crush from Brian for like, years, so judging anything off that selfish prick feels kind of like cheating.

Am I thirsty, Matt?

[At this point he realized that he could have totally helped Charlie with carrying the orders, but he was too busy gesturing - and now it’s apparently too late since they’re as good as there.]

I think that he thinks that he is. Or at least, that one time anyway. And really, what’s the problem with that? I mean, the being a murderer and sociopath aside. Oh yeah, and that thing with Wally. That aside as well. Although you can’t really blame him since, well, you’re not... you know. Dating. As in, repeatedly.

[Matt chattered happily away, while also trying to take in Charlie’s neighborhood. Quickly, he entered the elevator.]

I don’t say you’re thirsty. But I say you could use some fun once in a while. And if it’s nothing serious, well, I don’t see a problem with that as well. I couldn’t really imagine you being in a relationship with fucking Mardon. But for some fun...? It might not be that bad.

[He shrugged.]

So, anyway. When’s the next date?

adeadmonarch‌:

Seeing them side by side, Mark and the pic, it made it easier to see? It’s weird thinking about it but when they’re lined up like that I was like “well, I know he doesn’t have a sister.”

… And then we both kind of agreed I’d probably still be boyish if it happened to me and I think my brain broke.

[( He sighed and chugged right along, ignoring the date-denial callout again. Just because he admitted it to himself doesn’t mean he’s going to give Matt the satisfaction, damn it. )]

They’re– friends? That’s probably not the word I want.

They’re, uh, friends.

[( Charlie shot Matt a pointed look. )]

Close, at least. I kept trying to separate the two out by saying ‘Your Wally’ and ‘My Wally’ for the one who keeps hanging out with me, and I thought Mardon was gonna lose it so I asked and he got weird about it.

[He gave Charlie a once-over and nodded.]

Yeah, you’d totally be a boyish girl. I get it tho, if you say it like this... it’s probably true and it was just Mardon. At least he’s not been lying, right?

[It took Matt a few moments to read Charlie’s look and to analyze the undertone in which he said ‘friends’. Then he squinted, opened his mouth, hesitated, closed it again and only hummed. After thinking about it a moment or so, he huffed - a very Mardon-like huff indeed.]

No way. Why is he dating you then? Oh right, I forgot who we’re talking about here. I hope you kicked him where it hurts. Like, the shin.

[Matt seemed to be irritated now and shot Charlie a quick look only.]

...how do you feel about that?

adeadmonarch‌:

Taking care of Lana brings rumors of it with Jinx oh my god, I hate you. I want a new friend.

[( Be glad he was wielding a rather hefty bag of dinner or he’d swat you, buddy. There are immediate regrets about all of this but he’ll push through. He’s dealt with Matt through worse situations, this is fine. It’s fine. Charlie hip-checked Matt to go around a corner instead of just telling him to make a turn. )]

It wasn’t a date, you monster. But I can’t say I got a whole lot of info out of him besides who the pretty girl you saw in his phone was. – oh!

There’s more than one Wally around? So I guess we have to be careful about that.

Whoa whoa, careful there! You might hurt my feelings one day!

[Matt grinned nonetheless, pointlessly hip-checking right back.]

It totally was one, no matter what you say. Still, it’s hard to believe that chick was him... you believe him?

[The Warlock perked up one eyebrow and looked at Charlie quizzically.]

...that other Wally... yeah, I might have seen him? It’s a bit hard to tell ‘em apart when they’re in their costumes, so... What about it?

Nobody cares about Twain. @weather-warlock-blog - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag