Why do you dream so much?
In my dreams I run and I run and I run
I forget all that weighs me down
But then when I wake up I find myself glued
To the same spot I’ve always been in
The sunlight, shining through autumn leaves
To see the first snowflake that falls from the skies
Stories. Journeys. New beginnings and old fashioned endings.
Oh love, love, love. And to be loved.
But even my dreams have been tainted
The leaves fall and rot while the snow is muddied with human despair
Journeys are left incomplete while endings are more bitter than sweet.
The worst thing isn’t that no one tells your story.
It’s that you never left a story worth enough to tell.
I’m standing right here, why won’t you look at me?
And I’m screaming and I’m screaming and I’m screaming as loud as I know how to
But you can’t see me. Nobody sees me.
I realise screams are useless, all I have left are whispers
It’s the whispers to myself that seem to do the most damage
They worm their way into my heart and my head
And eat away until nothing of me is left
Just an empty shell with empty dreams
Here’s a terrifying, crazy, wonderful idea,
That the only one holding me back is myself.
I am only rooted to the spot,
Because I won’t allow myself to chase
After everything I dream of.
Too scared of what will happen
Where do unfinished dreams go
When the dreamer wakes up?
Every fairytale needs a villain
And so I became the the villain in my own story
Because it is easier to be angry
Than acknowledge the pain
Because anger masks the realisation
That I do not know myself at all
I spent so long clipping my wings
I do not even know if I can fly anymore
For the azure skies that once were
Are now nothing more than a predictable grey
And so I rejected them before they could reject me first
And the world did not notice that there was
One fewer swallow, who flew home for the summer.
My thoughts are weighing me down
As they whisper in my ear
I cannot stop questioning myself
And my heart is laced with fear
If I don’t even know who I am
Do I truly belong anywhere?