Hi! It's been trucking, tbh. I've still been trying to find the best potion for my mental health, went through a breakup during the worst of it, and now I'm moving cause the roomies and I got a surprise 90 day notice. Every time I think I can take a breath, something else gets thrown at me. But I'm hoping it all starts settling down and I can do something other than just be in survival mode!
I think of this blog daily, and of all of you waiting for us to get our lives together and come back <3
-Ren
Hey! I’m doing alright. I took the kids to Disneyland the other day with my ex and his family (I went for free so I can’t complain much). Work has been kicking my ass since it’s the holiday season so I’ve been in a constant state of exhausted.
I’ve been hanging out with my irl friends a lot lately. We’ve been playing the One Piece card game a couple times a week and it’s really been helping my mental load of being a single mom to two toddlers
It’s my birthday on Thursday and I have the next 4 days off that are jam packed with a bunch of stuff I have to do but it’ll be nice!
Like Ren, I also think about this blog a lot tho I’m gonna be honest, I’ve basically lost all interest in MIW and BG3. I won’t drop the requests I have but I don’t know if or when I’ll ever finish them. My focus has been on One Piece and Love & Deepspace
But thank you very much for checking in on us. Knowing that you guys are patiently waiting and are here for us truly means a lot you have no idea💕💕
Could you write about reader playing with Carlos' nice tits? Every time I play with my shirtless Carlos mod I want his pecs in my hands and mouth. He's a switch that deserves to be spoiled, man. I know this in my heart of hearts.
Just the shirtless Carlos mod? (; I can definitely see him being a switch. All he cares about is whatever his s/o wants, y'know?
~*~*~
Your hands first innocently find his tummy as you press your chest against his back, fingers tracing the lines of his muscles as you feel him chuckle. Kissing his spine, your palms move up, so gentle they almost tickle, until they form over his pecs.
You give a squeeze. Peering around him and to the mirror, you then push them together, a small smile fluttering across your lips.
"Babe, I'm trying to brush my teeth," he mumbles past his toothbrush.
Ignoring him, you squish them together again before playfully flicking his nipples.
"Babe."
Running your thumbs around the rim of his nipples, you hold back your giggle as he swats one of your hands away to give him enough room to bend and spit out his toothpaste. Allowing your other hand to keep teasing, he quickly rinses his mouth and his toothbrush before turning to face you.
"You are a naughty little thing." Grinning, his hands rest along your hips, fingers digging in as you lean in and drag your tongue along one nipple.
His exhale makes you smirk as you pinch it between your teeth gently but with enough force to smart. Now it's a hiss, and your tongue swirls lazily to calm the sting.
The other nipple rolls lazily between your fingers, occasional tugs and and grazing against your palm as you squeeze his tit the best you can with your smaller hand. His breathing has become strained now, so you decide to swap, giving the other nipple some attention with your mouth.
Leaning into him, your leg lifts to hitch around his hip, his leg pressing deliciously against the heat building between your legs. Your ass his now squeezed in his hands, drawing you harder against him as his eyes slit, their focus going hazy as you keep working.
You could be here for hours, but you know from experience this position gets uncomfortable quick. Drawing his pecs together and smooshing your face between them, you give each a kiss before you back away.
"I don't think so." Pulling you back in to slide his tongue into your mouth in a hungry kiss, you can't help the smirk as you allow a hand to fall against the bulge in his pajama pants.
Before he can spin you against the sink counter you dance away, throwing a wink over your shoulder as you saunter into your bedroom. "Hurry up, big guy." You blow a kiss and disappear around the door frame.
I'm so sorry to hear about your medication difficulties, Ren. I can't imagine how frustrating that is for you. I hope this time your recovery is smooth and the medicine helps more than harms. We're all rooting for you! Take your time and take care of yourself. Much love! <3
You guys are so sweet Q_Q I have a psych follow up in a couple days to evaluate how these meds are working, and I have a suspicion my dose will be upped. But I've been SO MUCH better now that I'm off those SSRIs.
Does suck cause I've been dealing with a rough breakup the past month, but how I feel is nowhere close to how I was on those bad meds, so I'll take that as a win. Plus, it seems like being sad and grieving makes me want to write and be creative. So that's what I'll be doing while I have time today (: Getting started on all these requests!
Thank you guys, so very much. Remember you all are worth being here, and are worth being loved. Whatever journey you're on right now, remember that you can never go wrong with healing and improving yourself. You are worth the self love, the vulnerability, and the humility it takes to become who you want to be.
Hey everyone! I just wanted to keep you all posted on how I am.
The medication I was on was actually actively harming me, because your girl here was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder. So I was switched meds (again) and it'll take a month before the meds are fully to kick in since I have to build up to my correct dose. I was also advised during this build up time, that I may feel okay for the first couple days or so before it goes away, so I'm still not anywhere near stable.
I think about this blog, and all of you, daily, and I can't wait to come back when I'm feeling like my world isn't in an earthquake. Thank you all for being amazing and beautiful people. You guys deserve the world 💕
Thank goodness that both of you took your time! You two really needed it! I'm glad things are better despite some rough times happening ☺️ You're welcome! I hope life will treat both of you well, Admin Ren and Admin Frost 😌 - eclipse anon
Eclipse, we love you <3 Thank you for being such a sweetheart and for just being, well, you. I really hope life is treating you well too (: Your support means a lot to both of us, and it makes this blog that much more fun and meaningful.
I just started a new playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3, and I haven't forgotten about your prompts still in the inbox... (;
-Ren
I fully agree! You’ve been with us since we restarted posting and it honestly means so much to the both of us that both you and everyone else checks up on us and don’t forget about us
I’m constantly feeling terrible for not posting anything and haven’t posted in a long time but the fact that a lot of you are so understanding makes me wanna cry
I’m getting farther and farther in one piece to the point where I’m thinking about adding it to my list but I’m not quite sure yet since I’ve been struggling to write for what I currently have
I am slowly chipping away though! I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself and making things a lot more complicated than they need to be, so I’m going to be revamping the requests I have started and hopefully have them done soon 💕💕
I'm so so so glad you seem to be feeling better, Ren. I know just how hard it can be to deal with stuff like this, so please know I'm so happy and proud of you! I hope your recovery continues smoothly. Much love from me! ♡
You guys Q_Q I don't know what I've done to deserve such sweet anons like you <3 These messages have helped so much. I got switched medications and I have a psychiatrist appointment coming up and. Just seeing this love and support means so, so much.
I'm getting there, you guys! I've been on these new meds for a little over a week now and they've been doing SO much better than the other ones! It's still too soon to know for sure but I feel really good about it all! It feels like I'm actually starting to feel the sun on my skin at the end of the tunnel, y'know?
Thank you so, so much. I can't articulate how much this all means to me. This blog is something I've really missed, and I've missed all of you, and to be blessed with sweethearts like you all is the best thing I could have ever asked for.
Just a reminder for Admin Frost and Admin Ren! Please take care of yourself and rest, no matter how busy you are! Don't forget to eat, drink water, take breaks, sleep, enjoy yourself, and anything else you need for your health, whether it's mental or physical health 🥺
- eclipse anon
You guys are the sweetest followers we could ever have, thank you so so much for your kind messages! <3
The last few months have been rough, you guys. I had a big mental break and I went to urgent care and started taking anti-anxiety and depression meds. If anyone knows about SSRIs, it's that the first few weeks are the worst for any new dosage. I swear it was the hardest thing I've ever done, and to hop on here and see these messages, and be able to read them when I felt like I was hitting rock bottom, really helped me. You all have no idea.
I'm starting to feel stable and better, and I'm very eager to get to all the prompts in my inbox! Thank you all so much for your patience and support. I really mean it, you guys have absolutely no idea how much you all mean to me <3
-Ren
The past couple months have been crazy. Gained new friends but also let some go. I haven’t been keeping in touch with very many people
I went to 3/4 days of Anime Expo with 3 of my closest friends and had an absolute blast. Spent all my money on mostly One Piece but there was also Love & Deepspace stuff too! I closet cosplayed as 3 OP characters lol 
Speaking of, I’ve mostly been playing Love & Deepspace and watching One Piece in my free time (which isn’t much when you have a full time job and are a full time mom). Currently on ep. 434 and Sylus has me in a death grip sorry Zayne. If anyone wants to talk OP with me don’t worry about spoilers, I know them all
It’s been a little stressful but I’ve been doing my best to keep my head afloat and keep myself distracted. Taking everyday one step at a time. And I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you, especially those that check in on us. I love you all 💕💕
Every time I check this blog and see the green "active" icon, I feel as though I am walking past a bakery and smelling fresh bread before opening hours.
I can't tell you how often I've come back to this message and why I've horded it for so long. This is like, the sweetest message I've ever gotten???? To be compared to the fresh smell of bakery bread??? Bless.
-Ren
I’ve never been compared to the smell of fresh bread and I’m p sure that’s the best compliment I’ve ever had in my entire life. Esp since the smell of fresh bread smells like home to me. Y’all gonna make me cry 😭😭
Thank you, Ren. I've been doing pretty ok since I sent that request in. The nightmares seem to have died down again. I'm definitely gonna be revisiting your fic every time they flare up again. Thanks again.
Of course anon 💕 I'm happy you're doing well! You're so strong 💕
Heyyyyy it's Couldn't Sleep aka inciting Carlos request back at it again. I was wondering if I could ask for a sort of pseudo-followup I guess? Where the reader has a nightmare about their not-so-great childhood and Carlos comforts them and tells them it's ok to cry and they're finally safe now. I uh....... didn't have a great night. cptsd for the win. Anyway love you, Ren. Hope you have a good day. Again, thanks for writing my other prompt. I'm gonna try and get a nap in today I'm still so sleepy.
I'm so sorry this is coming out so late! I hope you were able to sleep and you've been getting okay sleep since you sent this in. CPTSD is not fun ever, and I'm so sorry you have to struggle with it. Remember that you're strong, courageous, terrifying, and you can shake the world off its axis if you put your mind to it <3
But most of all, you're safe. Especially in Carlos' arms <3
~*~*~
It's a prison that you can almost forget about.
Its claws can become almost blanket soft, a whisper against the skin. Its footsteps can fit almost perfectly into your own, the same shoe size and indent in the sand. Its voice can become nigh indistinguishable from your own, praise and happiness flowing freely.
But in the end it is still a prison. Its claws still sharp, digging canyons into your arms, your chest. Hounding your every step, threatening to trip you up. Telling you foul and disgusting lies, wrapping you into a world of darkness and fear.
It is a prison you have yet to find the exit to, as you go from one room to another. As you are once again forced to relive what should only be distant memories, distance feelings, the claws digging deeper and deeper into your flesh. You try to remind yourself of the people who matter, who care about you, but it tries so desperately to hold you in place, to keep it company in the rot infested darkness. Choking you, trapping you.
And all you can do is scream. Scream into an endless void that swallows your very sound, your very heartbeat, what makes you you as you endlessly struggle, the blood endlessly pouring down your limbs and pooling at your feet.
An endless ocean, suffocating, thick--
Your eyes fly open as you jerk up, lungs struggling to suck down air as you scramble backward, back hitting the headboard, eyes darting to asses the threat, to find the exits--
"The door is over there, and it's open."
You hear him before you see him, a small gesture capturing your gaze as he points. Fear roots you in place, eyes boring into his, watching his body language, his expression, waiting for--
He's at the edge of the bed. No, he's standing at the foot, arms up, palms pointed your way.
Something eases in your chest.
"You're okay," you hear him say as the fear crashes, leeching your limbs of energy. "You're safe, sweetheart."
Glancing once more about the room, you note the drawn curtains, the cracked window. The rumpled blankets at the foot of the bed and to your side, too far away for you to have done it yourself. The water bottle on your bedside table, unopened, and indeed the bedroom door ajar.
Looking up once more, you finally take in Carlos. Shirtless, hair askew, shoulders tense, you recognize the look he's giving you as your muscles finally relax.
"Carlos," you whisper, dragging your knees up to your chest and hugging them tight.
"Hey, honey. I'm here. What do you need?"
All you can do is reach out a hand.
He moves slowly, deliberately, giving you all the time in the world to shift away as he crawls back onto the bed, hand grasping yours and bringing it to his chest, pressing your palm above his heart.
"You're safe, sweetheart," he repeats, bringing his free hand up to gently wipe away the tears you didn't realize had escaped. "You're home, with me. And I won't let anything hurt you, you know that."
You nod.
He reaches over, gently drawing you against his chest, loose enough so you can back out if needed.
Instead you melt into him, the tears coming freely, wracking your body as sobs escape. You're so tired but so wired, your brain struggling to align itself out of the dream and flashbacks, trying to remind itself that you're safe now.
You've always been safe with him. Especially as Carlos tucks you in close, his heartbeat now in your ears, a steady, constant rhythm in your life.
"You're safe," he says again, quieter, as his fingers run across your shoulders, your back. "You're safe. Take a deep breath." You do, holding it until until he says to let go. As you take your fourth breath he reaches to grab the water bottle. "Here. Take a drink."
It takes a moment to open the cap, but the cool water sliding down your chest helps ease more of the tension, cooling the stove heating your blood. Sighing, you set the bottle down and rub your face. "I'm sorry."
"For what? Having a nightmare? I get them too."
"For waking you up. For..." For the fear, the sadness, the helplessness, the anger, for a damaged version of yourself. "For this."
"And what is this?" he asks, brushing more tears from your cheeks. "For how amazing you are? For how you're ride or die for the people you care about? How badass you are every day?"
"I--"
"Sure, maybe you put dye in my shampoo once and I walked around with green hair for a week. But it was Saint Patrick's Day. Most people wear a green shirt or something, I had green hair."
A smile tugs at your lips.
"I had people come up to me going, 'Carlos! What awesome hair!' and I went, 'Thanks! My partner gave it to me!' and then got to listen to how smart and cool they thought the idea was."
"You put dye in my hot chocolate and turned my tongue blue in retaliation."
"We're not talking about that right now."
This time you chuckle, and the sound prompts Carlos to kiss the top of your head. "Wanna help me brainstorm ways to turn all of my coworker's tongues blue?"
"Do I get anything out of it?"
"Aside from being the mastermind? Maybe a kiss or two. Depends on how well your plan works."
Shifting your head up, you give him a smile and kiss his jaw. "Deal."
MAN I've been stressing over a research paper and seeing you post just made my entire week. I cant wait to read it once I'm done with today's stretch of work.
;w; Thank you so much! I wish you luck on your research paper, you're gonna knock it out of the park! <3
Hmmmmmm. Noticed no one has requested some Carlos smut yet and that last fic gave me an idea. How about a fic where the two "break in their new bed" for the first time. afab if you need specifics. Happy writing!
(Also idk if this will be an issue but could you avoid the topic of degradation? It's a bit of a trigger for me. Just wanna make sure cuz sometimes people add it in when I don't specify. Thanks.)
Thank you for being my first Carlos smut request <3 I've been so excited to write this, you have no idea.
Of course! Honestly, I'm not much of a fan of degradation myself. Besides, I think Carlos has a huge praise kink and wouldn't even think about degrading unless it was something his s/o was into. Thank you for specifying and making sure (: I always want to write something that makes the requestor happy, so I never want to make you uncomfortable. The more specifics, the better!
~*~*~
A new place always came with an undercurrent of excitement. Finding where each little nick knack belongs, decorating just the right way to scratch that long time itch, learning more about the person you're with by seeing how they unpack with you.
It was always a lot of work, but by the end of the day, seeing all the new placements and knowing everything is yours can't be beat.
"Look at it," you hear Carlos from the bedroom as you peek your head in. Hands on hips, you find his eyes surveying the bed.
"Look at...the bed?" you ask, lips pulling up.
"Yeah, look at it. It's so...neat."
"....Yeeaahh?"
"We can't have a neat bed."
"....Wwhhyyyy?"
"Because you and me don't do neat beds." He smiles at the utterly confused look you give him. "We need to break it in."
"Break in a bed?"
"Yeah. You. Me. Naked. On this bed. Having the hottest sex of our lives."
Your eyebrows raise as you give the bed another, different appraisal, and the heat in your eyes as you shift your gaze back to your husband makes him smirk. Giving a dramatic sigh, you lean against the doorframe. "I really wanted to get the kitchen all unpacked before the day was over though."
He takes a step toward you. "Did you?"
Looking at your nails in faux attention, you sigh again. "It might take all night."
You hear him chuckle, then feel his hands glide down your sides to rest on your hips. "You need to take a break at some point." His fingers find the edge of your shirt and push up, fingertips grazing your skin.
"Breaks are important." Abandoning your nails, you wrap your arms around his neck and plant a kiss to his jaw. "What did you have in mind?"
Warm hands trail up your sides and spine, tugging your shirt up with them. "You, me, and this bed." Before you can respond, he steals your lips with your own, diving his tongue into your mouth almost desperately.
You immediately draw closer, pressing your body up against his, returning the kiss with equal fervor. He breaks apart only to shuck your shirt off, hands immediately going back to trailing fire across your skin as your own fingers find their way into his hair.
His kisses are always intoxicating, and by the time your knees hit the edge of the bed, you've lost your pants and he's lost his shirt. As your back hits the brand new comforter, his lips find your collarbone, trailing down your sternum, find a nipple and suck it in, teeth biting down just enough to smart.
Your back arches without your consent, flames licking down your veins as his tongue flicks across your nipple before moving to the next, a stray hand stroking gently down your stomach and along the edges of your panties.
You're squirming by the time his lips abandon your chest and move lower, that incessant hand still stroking, teasing. It's not until his lips graze your panties that that hand hooks and takes the fabric down your thighs, bearing you to the tongue that quickly slides between your folds.
Hands grip the comforter as your breath hitches, and you can feel Carlos' smile against your skin as he licks you again, and again, gripping your thighs to keep you still. He keeps a slow, agonizing pace, pressure almost a whisper, and you love and hate that he's pressing your hips down to prevent the friction you so crave.
When your nerves are wired and anticipation drips between your legs Carlos finally leans back, quickly chucking the rest of his clothes to the floor and slides up, positioning himself at your entrance as he kisses you, your taste flooding your mouth.
"Ready sweetheart?" he asks, voice husky, and all you can do is nod.
He goes slow, giving you time to adjust as he slides in. Your hands grip his shoulders as he fills you, stretches you, the fire turning to molten lava when he makes it to the hilt and slides out. A nod from you tells him you're okay, and that's when he really moves.
Not too fast, not too slow, he finds just the perfect rhythm to get you a squirming, sweating mess. Breathing becomes an afterthought as his thumb pressing against your clit and all you can feel is him, the pressure, the movement, the friction, and you know he's driving you the climax when your stomach tightens.
"Look at you," you hear him breathe, thumb rubbing circles over your swollen clit.
"Carlos," you nearly beg, language slipping from your mind and tongue like sand.
"I know, baby. Cum for me."
So you do.
It slams into your hard and fast, wiping your vision into white as you arch back and cry out, nerves fraying and snapping as wave after wave of pleasure crashes into you.
"I've got you," you hear him beside your ear, not knowing when he'd wrapped his arms around you. "I've got you." Kisses pepper your forehead, your cheeks, your jaw. "I've got you."
Finally you can take a breath, the stars in your vision fizzing out. Carlos brings your head to his chest, his heartbeat loud and fast. "Give us both a couple minutes and we can keep going."
A chuckle escapes as you lean over and give his cheek a kiss, a hand already gliding down his stomach. "You think you get a rest, big guy?"
I'm flattered that I'm special to both of you 🥹 Both of you are great writers, but you two are also just so kind & lovely 💕💕 I'll continue to do my best to support you two ❤️❤️ I know I said this before too but I love seeing your replies because it makes me smile :) I will! Thank you for taking your time to reply to me! I hope you two are happy & healthy, Admin Ren and Admin Frost!
- eclipse anon
We're going to be honest, Eclipse. We horde your replies and read them often. They always make us smile! That's why we always take a little longer to reply to you.
We hope you're doing okay and you're happy and healthy! Remember to always take care of yourself <3
