Weird And Pissed Off

"I don't know what's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is."

[lulubonanza]

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Scene from

Nightmare In Blood 1978

[weirdandpissedoff]

I’ve been watching a bunch of Cannon action movies for NinJanuary and this idea began to form in my mind. In a perfect world this would have been a real movie in the late 80’s...and it would have ROCKED.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Weapon X #3

Writer: Larry Hama Artist: Adam Kubert Inker: Dan Green & Mike Sellers Colorist: Joe Rosas Letterer: Pat Brosseau

Cover Date: May 1995

Out of the blue this issue begins with Wolverine wandering through a snowy, mountainous forest. This is in stark contrast to the ending of the previous issue which capped off with him standing on a runway in England watching Jean fly off in a plane bound for the States. In short order a couple of Apocalypse’s cyborg soldiers named Mangle and Deadeye spring forth from beneath the snow and attack Wolverine, who makes quick work of them. He then continues on to the gates of Wundagore Mountain.

Now, I’m not personally familiar with Wundagore Mountain, so I’m not sure what significance it has in the regular Marvel universe (if any), but Larry Hama’s narration fills in a few gaps where this particular story is concerned. From what I can gather, Magneto used this location as some sort of refuge or home base early on in the Age Of Apocalypse and brought Wolverine here among others. Scarlet Witch is buried here (or at least it’s where her gravestone resides) and based on a panel showing Wolverine’s 1-handed silhouette burned onto a wall, I’m guessing that this is where he and Cyclops fought when they both took a piece of one another. Seemingly, Apocalypse had left Magneto and his people alone at Wundagore Mountain for a while before going back on his word and attacking the place, leaving it in ruins.

Shortly after arriving at his old home, Wolverine encounters Carol Danvers, who is dressed like she just stepped out of X-Force #1, complete with some sci-fi guns and a red and black costume covered by 7,000 pouches. She is revealed to be one of only two people still residing at Wundagore Mountain; the other being teleporting mutant Gateway. Gateway seems preoccupied with absorbing every bit of pre-Age Of Apocalypse pop culture that he can in the event that it is wiped from existence (which is a crusade I can get behind), but Wolverine snaps him out of his daze with violence, then turns around and appeals to him for help.

Apparently Wolverine wants Gateway to “pilot the lead airship in [the Human High Council’s] nuclear strike against Apocalypse.” To what end, I’m not entirely sure. Maybe so that he can teleport the initial bomb right into Apocalypse’s territory without anyone knowing? Regardless, before Wolverine and Gateway can properly hash things out, the two half-destroyed cyborgs from earlier show up to cause a bit more trouble. Wolvie and Carol finish them off quickly, but they’ve managed to call in some support in the form of a flying cyborg woman called Vultura and a bomber plane piloted by Pierce from last issue whom Wolverine is as surprised to see alive as we, the reader are.

Gateway teleports the group aboard Pierce’s plane where a fight ensues which ends in Carol sacrificing herself to kill Pierce. This leaves Wolverine alone on the plane with Gateway, who is none too keen to be a part of Wolverine’s plan, but agrees to at least hear out the Human High Council in person before making a final decision.

Man...Larry Hama feels like he was born to write Wolverine. I’ve read plenty of X-Men comics in my day, but have admittedly read very little of Wolvie’s solo adventures, so a quick look on ComicBookDB.com has me very excited to learn that Hama wrote over 80 issues of the 90′s Wolverine series that I can go back and check out sometime. Adam Kubert’s art continues to impress in this series as well and there was plenty of action for him to draw. Chalk this up as another Age Of Apocalypse series that I’m excited to read the conclusion of.

- R.

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Rian Reads: X-Man #3

Writer: Jeph Loeb Artist: Steve Skroce Inker: Bud Larosa & Mike Sellers Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft Colorist: Mike Thomas & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: May 1995

When we last left Forge, he’d just been descended upon by Domino, Grizzly and Caliban while hiding out at an abandoned farm. This issue dives head first into the action as Forge stuns his foes with a flash grenade and runs off to warn his fellow rebels/thespians of the attack. Theorizing that Apocalypse sent Domino and company after the source of the strong telepathic energy he’d sensed without knowing what he/she/it looks like, Forge tasks Mastermind with posing as X-Man to keep their enemies from getting their hands on the real Nathan Summers. This scheme works for about 12 seconds until Mastermind uses his powers of illusion on Domino and she realizes that he’s a fake, blasting all the meat off of his bones with one of her sci-fi guns.

Next up, disobeying Forge’s orders for at least the 73rd time over the course of the 3 issues of this series thus far, X-Man rushes to the scene to square off against Domino. Of course, she quickly gets the better of him in physical combat, forcing Nate to unleash the full extent of his psychic abilities on her. In a rather morbid move, X-Man forces Domino’s mind to experience all of the deaths she has caused over the years at once, which sends her into a catatonic state.

Pro-tip: Do not fuck with X-Man.

Elsewhere, Toad, Forge and Sonique (the new girl they met in issue 1) murder Grizzly and Caliban in cold blood because apparently the Age Of Apocalypse has turned everyone into huge assholes. Following all of this action, Nate and Forge share a tender moment during which Nate admits that Forge has been right all along and Forge forgives Nate for all of his mistakes. Of course, for anyone who is familiar with popular plot structure and foreshadowing in fiction, this most likely means that Forge is going to die any minute...which is exactly what happens when he goes wandering around in a creepy barn alone looking for Brute, who he finds dead at Essex’s hands.

Sensing through their psi-link that Forge is in danger, Nate rushes to his mentor’s side just in time to watch him breathe his last breaths. Forge’s final act before succumbing to his injuries is to make HIS life flash before NATE’s eyes, revealing to him that Essex is not to be trusted and that salvation lies with Magneto. In a fit of rage, Nate blows up the barn with a psychic blast and is confronted by Essex, who finally takes his true form as Mr. Sinister.

Considering how little I cared for the first issue of X-Man, this series has come a long way. It felt very disconnected from the rest of the Age Of Apocalypse crossover event in the beginning, but by now X-Man is building towards becoming one of the key players in the story. Steve Skroce’s art remains a highlight while I continued to roll my eyes at Jeph Loeb’s typically overdone narration. The theme of this issue’s excessive caption boxes? “Evil” and all of Loeb’s many thoughts on the subject. Regardless, this was a pretty good issue with plenty of action and a decent cliffhanger.

- R.

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Rian Reads: Amazing X-Men #3

Writer: Fabian Nicieza Artist: Andy Kubert Inker: Matt Ryan Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comcraft Colorist: Kevin Somers & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: May 1995

Picking up after the events of Astonishing X-Men #3, Magneto and Bishop search the grounds of the X-Mansion for who or whatever set off their security alarms and are quickly met by Vanisher (a teleporter) and a squad of Apocalypse’s Infinites. Magneto takes out the Infinites in no time flat, but then Apocalypse himself shows up and effortlessly puts a hurting on the two “gene-traitors”. Magneto threatens to blow Apocalypse (and himself) up with a repurposed plasma rifle, but surrenders when Apocalypse tells him that Vanisher is off hunting down Charles (Magneto’s son), who will be killed if he doesn’t give up.

Perhaps one of my biggest issues with Apocalypse as a villain is that I’ve never really understood what exactly his powers are and/or what he’s capable of. My first encounters with him were on the 90′s X-Men Saturday morning cartoon series, in which he could change his size and at least partially morph his body into bludgeoning weapons and the like. Past that I know that he has been alive for an exceedingly long time, but I’ve never even been 100% sure if he’s a guy in a suit or if he’s actually made of metal or whatever. In the fight scene in this issue he definitely changes size, but I wouldn’t think that a simple exploding plasma gun would have a hope of killing him. Maybe he’s not as invulnerable as I thought or maybe the writers of these Age Of Apocalypse comics are as fuzzy on the details of his power set as I am.

Meanwhile, in the sewers below the mansion Vanisher does, in fact, track down Charles, but gets his ass handed to him by the French maid-looking nanny robot that is looking after the child.

Some time later, the team of X-Men who are the focus of this particular mini-series (Quicksilver, Storm, Exodus, Iceman, Banshee and Dazzler) arrive back at the X-Mansion after their mission to send a bunch of humans over to Europe aboard an army of Sentinels to discover that Magneto, Bishop and Charles are missing. Quicksilver takes charge, splitting the team up into groups to track down either Charles or Rogue while he heads off at super speed to pay Angel a visit in his nightclub. Once there, Quicksilver gives Angel the business and he readily divulges what he knows: Magneto is being held prisoner within Apocalypse’s main base of operations while Bishop has been shipped off to The Tabernacle Of The Madri in Quebec. 

Cutting away to Canada, the religious cult comprised entirely of duplicates of the Multiple Man attempt to extract information from Bishop via the use of the Shadow King (who they keep in a bottle like a genie). Unfortunately for the Madri, before they can learn much from their captive, Abyss (that mutant from Amazing X-Men #2 who looks like a bunch of curly ribbons in the shape of a man) shows up to dispatches of them all and claim Bishop for himself. I could have sworn that Abyss had died last issue when he was absorbed into the black hole within himself (or some other such nonsense), but I guess that I was mistaken.

Finally, Quicksilver returns to the X-Mansion, packs up Storm and Banshee (whom he’d tasked with sticking around to meet with Rogue and her X-team in the event that they turned up) and takes off for Quebec to try and rescue Bishop. Quicksilver would perhaps prefer to go after his father, but he makes the tough decision to go after Bishop instead since he could be the key to ending the Age Of Apocalypse altogether.

I’ll admit, it was nice to see Apocalypse do something for a change in this issue. While I’m still confused about what exactly it is that he CAN do (as detailed above), I enjoyed seeing him get his hands dirty for once in this storyline nonetheless. I also quite enjoyed the moral dilemma that Quicksilver is left with at the end of the issue as to whether to attempt to save his father, for whom he cares deeply or Bishop, a man he hardly knows, but who Magneto believes to be of great importance. While the story in the first two issues of Amazing X-Men felt somewhat inconsequential to the big picture, this issue definitely course corrects the mini-series into something I’m looking forward to seeing the conclusion of. 

- R.

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Rian Reads: Astonishing X-Men #3

Writer: Scott Lobdell & Jeph Loeb Artist: Joe Madureira Inker: Tim Townsend & Al Milgrom Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comcraft Colorist: Steve Buccellato & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: May 1995

As this issue opens, Wild Child (who I still feel as though I know next to nothing about) races to destroy Holocaust’s Infinite production plant on the orders of Sabertooth. In pursuit are a small group of those very same Infinites, who manage to stop him in his tracks with a well-placed laser blast to his back. Peculiarly, the laser blast in question is accompanied by some unusually verbose and unnecessary narration which gave me pause. Having greatly enjoyed Scott Lobdell’s writing on the first two issues of the Astonishing X-Men series, something immediately seemed to be amiss this time around. Well, a quick glance at the credits on page 1 revealed that, while Lobdell plotted this issue, Jeph Loeb wrote the dialogue… 

*sad trombone sound effect*

Anyway, Holocaust himself shows up before the Infinites have a chance to finish Wild Child off, then reveals himself to actually be Morph in disguise, accompanied by the rest of the X-team who are the focus of this particular mini-series (Rogue, Blink and Sunspot). Sunspot takes out the Infinites and then the crew desperately tries to communicate with Wild Child to find out what happened to Sabertooth. However, lacking the ability to speak (I guess…?) he instead leaps onto Rogue and touches her skin (see: licks her face) so that she’ll absorb his memories and know what he knows without having to be told. What they don’t know, but we find out in the very next scene, is that Sabertooth is alive and is a currently captive of Holocaust.

A short while later the team arrives at the Infinite factory Wild Child was meant to destroy. How exactly he was supposed to do that on his own, I’m not sure, but the group sets out to finish what he started when Blink suddenly seems to sense Sabertooth’s presence. She teleports away to discover him chained up and hanging on a nearby cliff overlooking the facility, which is where the issue ends. This ending seems to thematically tie in to an earlier sequence which flashes back to Sabertooth and Wolverine rescuing Blink from a burning building. When, where and under what circumstances that scene takes place, I’m not sure. Hopefully it will be expanded upon later.

The one other sequence of note in this issue is another cutaway to Magneto and Bishop back at the dilapidated, would-be X-Mansion. In a moment of confusion, Bishop (who, let’s all remember, is apparently a bit off his rocker due to everything he’s experienced since Legion Quest) threatens to kill Magneto, thinking that it could somehow reset things to the way they were back in the regular Marvel Universe timeline. After Bishop comes to his senses (following a swift slap to the face from Erik), Magneto’s robot maid/nanny alerts the two of a security breach at the mansion before cocooning Charles (Magneto’s young son) in a protective, metal egg which sinks into a hole in the floor…as one does. Having been teased at some point in one of the various Age Of Apocalypse tie-ins (there are so many that I’m beginning to lose track of what happened where and to whom), this breach is presumably the coming of Apocalypse himself.

Despite Jeph Loeb’s intrusive writing style, I still enjoyed this issue of Astonishing X-Men quite a bit. While the artists of some of the other mini-series’ seem to be falling behind and relying on fill-ins, Joe Madureira is holding strong, which is a big positive in my book. The overall story of this particular series is still one of the more compelling to me (despite how annoying both Sunspot and I find the Age Of Apocalypse version of Morph to be) and I’m greatly anticipating the final showdown between the X-Men and Holocaust, which I am assuming will be the ultimate climax of the series in the next issue.

- R.

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Rian Reads: Factor X #3

Writer: John Francis Moore Artist: Steve Epting & Terry Dodson Inker: Al Milgrom Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft Colorist: Glynis Oliver

Cover Date: May 1995

It would be really fascinating if a more succinct world was created within the Age Of Apocalypse crossover event. There are a lot of neat ideas swirling around, but so many people, places and things just get off-hand mentions or are merely a means to an end which I would like to see explored further. Case in point: multiple issues of the event thus far have mentioned “the pens” where Apocalypse keeps seemingly untold thousands of humans, mutants and science experiments captive. This issue of Factor X opens in a heretofore unmentioned area of the pens called “the kennel,” which specifically houses human/animal hybrids and were-creatures. Seems awfully specific.

The reason we find ourselves in the kennel at the start of Factor X #3 is because  a 9 foot tall, humanoid cross between a bengal tiger and a grizzly bear has gotten loose and Havoc has to stop its reign of terror. Cyclops shows up just in time to save Havoc from the monster with a mortal wound from his one good eye (in other words, he cuts it in half). Afterward, Havoc insinuates that he knows his brother is a traitor, but doesn’t show all of his cards just yet. He definitely gives Cyclops something to think about, though.

Shortly thereafter, Jean Grey arrives on the scene, hiding in an automated delivery truck and taking out a perimeter guard at Apocalypse’s HQ. She sneaks inside, bypassing the “brain trust” (see: the 6 disembodied brains of telepaths which psionically keep Apocalypse’s prisoners docile...except for that monster that escaped a few pages before, I guess...?) and makes a bee-line for Mr. Sinister’s former lair to confirm the rumors she’s heard about him abandoning his position within the ranks of Apocalypse’s elite. Before long Havoc runs across Jean and gets the drop on her, rendering her unconscious.

Meanwhile, the Bedlam Brothers show up at Angel’s nightclub to arrest Scarlett (who we found out last issue is working with the Human High Council). Despite how close they are, Angel turns on her almost immediately. It is also insinuated (unless I’m really reading this wrong) that Scarlett is pregnant, and if I had to guess, I’d wager that it’s Havoc’s kid.

Speaking of Havoc, giddy as a schoolgirl, he reveals to Cyclops that he knows he’s been moonlighting as a chaperone for escapees from the pens and lures him down to Beast’s lab where Jean is strung up to some kind of complicated torture machine. As he gives his brother the opportunity to prove his allegiance to Apocalypse by killing Jean, we’re treated to some flashbacks to the last time Jean and Scott met when he let her escape from the pens 3 years prior, as well as Jean’s involvement in the skirmish that saw Wolverine lose a hand and Cyclops lose an eye to one another. Obviously, Cyclops has no intention of killing Jean, so Havoc sics Cannonball and his sister (who is essentially Giant Man, I guess) on him.

Left to the whims of Beast (who, if you haven’t figured this out yet, is a right bastard in the Age Of Apocalypse universe) for use in his inhumane experiments, Jean and Cyclops manage to escape once more (obviously Havoc isn’t familiar with the James Bond movie trope of the hero ALWAYS escaping when the bad guy leaves him/her in a complicated death trap instead of just shooting them in the head when he has the chance). Finally, as Jean and Cyclops race to release all of the prisoners before they can become collateral damage when the Human High Council tries to nuke Apocalypse’s New York home base from the face of the Earth, we cut to a brief scene of Apocalypse himself (who has gotten surprisingly little “screen time” considering that this entire, massive storyline is named after him). Essentially, in defiance of Jean’s crusade, Apocalypse orders every prisoner in the pens put to death. Aaaaaaand...cliffhanger!

Surprisingly, Factor X remains one of the more interesting and gripping stories in the overall Age Of Apocalypse crossover event. I like the (admittedly “been there, done that”) rivalry between Cyclops and Havoc, and this series really does give us our best look into what exactly life is like in Apocalypse’s version of the future. Or, at least, what Apocalypse wants life to be like. I’ve enjoyed Steve Epting’s art all along, but I also didn’t mind the fill-in pages by Terry Dodson in this issue. I’m so used to seeing his art inked by his wife Rachel that it’s kind of neat to see his style peeking through someone else’s finishes. All told, I’m looking forward to seeing how this particular mini-series wraps up.

- R.

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Rian Reads: X-Calibre #3

Writer: Warren Ellis Artist: Ken Lashley Inker: Tom Wegrzyn & Philip Moy Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft Colorist: Joe Rosas & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: May 1995

For whatever reason, X-Calibre continues to be the only Age Of Apocalypse tie-in mini-series to feature a recap page at the beginning of the issue. Picking up where we left off last time, Mystique has dropped in on Callisto’s ship and apparently killed her off-panel, dumping her body into the ocean along with all of her pirate buddies. Nightcrawler joins Mystique aboard her airship and the two take off for Avalon, unknowingly tailed by Damask and Deadpool in an airship of their own.

A quick ferry ride and a long trek on foot accompanied by Cain (see: Juggernaut) later, Nightcrawler and Mystique have arrived at their destination. They promptly meet with Destiny (aka Irene) to ask her to accompany them to the America where she can meet with Magneto and “read Bishop’s future,” but she wants nothing to do with their mission. Having seen the destruction of Avalon when she read Switchback’s future last issue, Destiny is concerned that this horrific event may a result of her leaving with Nightcrawler for some reason.

Nevertheless, Damask and Deadpool (or Dead Man Wade as he’s referred to a few times) go medieval on Avalon’s ass and proceed to blow the hell out of everything. Mystique and Nightcrawler leap into action to try to stop the attack, but Cain refuses to help because he’s a monk-like pacifist. In a bizarre twist, his conflicting desires for peace and violence cause him to have a brain aneurism...because that’s something that can happen, I guess.

Having now seen the beauty of a place untouched by Apocalypse’s influence, Damask has a sudden and intense change of heart and turns on Deadpool, who continues on his rampage through Avalon. Inevitably, in order to stop him, Nightcrawler teleports Deadpool’s head off of his body, once again proving that Age Of Apocalypse Nightcrawler is a real dick and Warren Ellis really seemed to get off on extreme violence in his early comic writing career.

Within moments of her turning on Deadpool, Damask is accepted into Nightcrawler and Mystique’s little party along with Switchback (who we still know pretty much nothing about as far as I can recall) and the four of them pose and flex their muscles for a splash page before setting off to deliver Destiny to Magneto (whether she wants to go or not, I guess?).

I’m a little surprised by how little I care for the writing in this X-Calibre series since Warren Ellis is probably my favorite comic writer. Then again, this is from pretty early in his career, potentially before he found his “voice.” Also, it doesn’t help that this is one of the less interesting stories of the Age Of Apocalypse crossover event. Nightcrawler’s mission to go find Destiny feels a bit like busy work. Then there’s Ken Lashley’s art, which looks like that of every other artist who was copying Jim Lee’s style at the time...but somehow worse. On the plus side, this issue doesn’t have 4 different fill-in artists like issue 2 did. All-in-all, I could take or leave this X-Calibre mini-series. At least there’s only one issue left to go.

- R.

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Rian Reads: X-Man #2

Writer: Jeph Loeb Artist: Steve Skroce Inker: Mike Sellers, Bud Larosa & Kevin Conrad & Scott Hanna Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft Colorist: Mike Thomas & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: April 1995

As X-Man #2 opens we catch up with Domino, who was tasked by Apocalypse with tracking down the source of great telekinetic energy that he’s been sensing (psst! It’s X-Man). Along with Caliban and some big, red guy named Grizzly, she tries beating information concerning their prey out of a big Russian mutant named Rossovich who seems like a combination of Omega Red and Dr. Octopus. A quick trek down Google Avenue informs me that Grizzly is a member of Wild Pack/Six Pack in the 616 Marvel Universe while Rossovich is, indeed, the Age Of Apocalypse incarnation of Omega Red. So, there you go.

Inevitably, Domino kills Rossovich without gleaning any useful info from him and we move on to see Nathan Summers (aka X-Man) training with Forge. After Nate has a temper tantrum he wanders off in a bad mood because he feels that Forge still treats him like a child, which is the perfect frame of mind for him to be in so that a less-than-ethical guy like new member of the group Essex can take advantage of him. Despite Forge’s orders for Nate to keep his power usage to a minimum so as to avoid detection, Essex is like, “Hey boi, can u fly, tho?” Then Nate’s all like, “Dunno, son. Let’s give ‘er a go, eh?” X-Man then does a few aerial laps around the forest clearing they’re in, after which he and Essex decide to keep this little experiment to themselves.

Later on the group is discussing what their next plan of action should be when Essex pipes up and tells everyone that he just so happens to know about a lab that is integral to Apocalypse’s plans that they could go and try to sabotage. The group hesitantly agrees to at least go check this place out and where they end up is the facility where beast performs all of his twisted mutation experiments and creates Apocalypse’s army of homegrown goons. When the group spots some members of the Madri (who, to recap, are one of the many groups of particularly dangerous mutants in Apocalypse’s employ, all of whom I find it hard to keep straight from series to series and issue to issue), the consensus is that they should peace out, but X-Man has other plans. And those plans consist of diving into a fight head first to destroy some of Beast’s equipment.

Following the obligatory fight scene of the issue during which X-Man substantiates Forge’s concerns about him not being ready for a real fight, the team retreats to an abandoned farmhouse to get some rest. Desiring answers, Nate sneaks away and, with new girl Theresa (who now goes by the codename Sonique because of her sonic scream powers, and also because Jeph Loeb can’t help himself when he has the opportunity to give characters unnecessarily weirdly spelled names) in tow, takes a little trip through the astral plane to the would-be X-Mansion in Westchester, New York just as he did in the previous issue. There he once more observes Magneto, who can’t see or hear him and Theresa in their astral forms. As it turns out though, Magneto’s young son Charles CAN see them and, freaked out by all this, Theresa somehow breaks their “psi-link,” sending them back to the farm.

Finally, Brute, the biggest, strongest and dumbest member of Forge’s little band of merry men, has an epiphany about where he recognizes Essex from and confronts him in a barn. Just as Brute calls Essex out as actually being Mr. Sinister (which, I mean…we all knew that’s who he was, but they hadn’t come right out and said it until now), Domino and her gang show up and pose menacingly for some of Jeph Loeb’s overbearing “Hey, it’s a cliffhanger!” narration.

I enjoyed this issue of X-Man much more than I did the first one, which is due in no small part to the fact that there’s nary a mention of Shakespeare nor traveling theater troupes this time around. Steve Skroce’s art, while, as I mentioned before, would get much better in subsequent years during his Marvel tenure, is still a welcome addition to the line-up of AoA artists. Conversely, if you couldn’t tell from the amount of jabs that I took at Jeph Loeb’s writing in the preceding review, his dialogue and narration hasn’t grown on me at all. 

This issue marks the official halfway point of my journey through the Age Of Apocalypse. Part of the reason why I began reading Uncanny X-Men starting at #300 all those months ago was that I wanted to experience an era of X-stories that I’ve always felt I’d missed out on. Another part of the reason for starting this little project of mine was that, while I love the X-Men, I haven’t been able to get into any of their recent runs or stories. So many mainstream superhero comics these days seem to have a “every story arc has to be 5-8 issues long so that it neatly fits into a trade paperback for the aftermarket even if the pacing and storytelling suffer as a result” vibe to them. Those earlier days of superhero comics rarely worked out into neat little story arcs and flowed more naturally as episodic, ongoing stories, which is a style of superhero comic storytelling that I sorely miss these days. 

While I’m glad that I’m finally taking the opportunity to scratch the Age Of Apocalypse off of my bucket list of comics that I’ve been meaning to get around to reading for years, I have to admit that, even though I’m largely enjoying it, AoA does have a bit of that larger storyline stink to it that I was hoping to avoid. The experience has been largely positive though, and while I’m excited to move past the Age Of Apocalypse and tackle some more of the random issues and stories beyond it, I am very curious to see how this whole crossover event is going to wrap up. 

Onwards and upwards, true believers!

- R.

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Rian Reads: Factor X #2

Writer: John Francis Moore

Artist: Steve Epting

Inker: Al Milgrom

Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft

Colorist: Glynis Oliver

Cover Date: April 1995

Factor X #2 opens with a brief foray into Apocalypse’s oft-mentioned breeding pens. Under cover of night, a mysterious figure enters the pens to help two captive mutants escape. A third captive named Lorna Dane (aka Polaris) witnesses this escape and begs to go with them, but she is denied. Laying eyes on her would-be savior, Lorna believes him to be her father, Magneto.

There’s also a neat little detail that writer John Francis Moore throws in there whereby the prisoners in the pens are kept in line by the disembodied brains of 6 telepaths which prevent them from even considering escape. That’s just the kind of weird stuff I like to see in a dystopian sci-fi tale such as this.

Cutting to the next day we see a meeting between Cyclops, Havoc and Apocalypse, who doesn’t seem all that surprised that their boss Mr. Sinister turned out to be a traitor. Apocalypse tells the pair in no uncertain terms that Cyclops is next in line to take over Sinister’s former position as one of his Four Horsemen. This, of course, makes Havoc incredibly jealous and he silently vows to kill Cyclops if it will help prove to Apocalypse that he is more deserving of the role than his brother. When will hotheaded, vengeful henchmen finally realize that it’s because of how cool-tempered and patient their brothers are that makes their fathers/masters choose them as their trusted right hand men?

As Apocalypse’s head of security, Havoc’s next task is to figure out how the two mutants from the opening scene escaped, so he visits Liz and Sam Guthrie to check the security tapes from the breeding pens. While the identity of the interloper who freed them is obscured in the footage by a “field scrambler” and/or a “TK damper implant,” the video does show that Lorna Dane was a witness to the escape, so they go to speak to her next. Unfortunately, Lorna is a bit loopy after spending a year in the pens, so no one believes her when she says that Magneto was the intruder and Havoc decides that the sadistic AoA version of Beast is the only one who may be able to extract the truth from her.

At this point we cut away briefly to Heaven (see: Angel’s nightclub) where Havoc is having an off-hours rendesvous with his lady friend Scarlett from the previous issue. The only thing of note about this scene is that we learn that Scarlett is secretly working with the Human High Council. To what end, I’m not quite sure yet.

A while later as Beast is trying to torture some information out of Lorna, Cyclops shows up and very forcefully shuts him down, citing the Kelly Pact Negotiations which prohibit genetic testing. Not that I condone torture, but I kind of agree with Beast who is dismissive of the Kelly Pact. I mean, this is a full-on dystopia that these characters are living in. At all times Apocalypse has innumerable bands of terrorist cells running loose in the U.S. rounding up humans to either experiment on or kill, so every time the Kelly Pact comes up it makes me wonder who is enforcing its regulations. America, at least outwardly, seems to reside firmly beneath Apocalypse’s blue, metallic thumb at this point.

Before the scene in Beast’s lab ends we get a glimpse of Cyclops from Lorna’s point of view and learn that she (for some reason) sees Magneto when she looks at him. That bit of blatant foreshadowing is confirmed in the next sequence when Cyclops enters the breeding pens that night to help Lorna escape as he had with the other 2 mutants the previous evening. He encounters some of his fellow prelates in the form of Aurora and Northstar as they make a run for it, but they are quickly dispatched. Arriving at a dock on the bank of the Hudson River, Cyclops hands Lorna off to a female smuggler referred to as Cooper and the issue ends with Havoc disdainfully watching this act from afar through some binoculars.

So, brother versus brother. A tale as old as time. This probably won’t end well for Havoc, if I had to wager a guess. John Francis Moore’s writing is solid and I’m still quite enjoying Steve Epting’s art. While not the most bombastic of the Age Of Apocalypse mini-series, Factor X remains a strong addition to the line-up.

- R.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: X-Calibre #2

Writer: Warren Ellis

Artist: Roger Cruz, Renato Arlem, Charles Mota & Eddie Wagner

Inker: Philip Moy, Tom Wegrzyn & Harry Candelario

Colorist: Joe Rosas & Digital Chameleon

Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft

Cover Date: April 1995

For the first time in the entire Age Of Apocalypse event (to the best of my recollection) X-Calibre #2 begins with a recap page. While I’ve altogether been enjoying the crossover so far, I’m now thinking that every issue of all 8 mini-series should open with one of these. With so many characters and so many different plot-lines going on, I could certainly use a refresher from time to time. Case in point: two of the lingering questions I was left with after reading X-Calibre #1 are answered in this recap before I even get to the story itself.

1.) Mystique is indeed the one ferrying people to Avalon (see: the AoA’s version of the Savage Land).

and

2.) The reason for Magneto sending Nightcrawler to find Destiny is that Destiny’s powers allow her to see people’s futures by touching them and he wants her to reach out and touch Bishop for some reason. Rogue already proved that Bishop was telling the truth about the alternate reality he’s from when she touched him and absorbed his memories, so I’m not really sure what seeing his future will tell anyone. Who am I to question the whims of the great Magneto, though?

Getting into the issue proper, we’re treated to a brief sequence in Avalon in which Destiny touches the character Switchback from the previous issue and sees death and destruction in Avalon’s future.

Jumping to the Stark facility that Nightcrawler hitched a submarine ride to Avalon from in X-Calibre #1, John Proudstar (aka Thunderbird) makes a futile attempt to fight off some of the Madri, but ends up getting shot in the back by a hooded figure. Is his identity a mystery for some reason or is he just a random bad guy? Who knows? Also of note is that Proudstar’s finger, which Nightcrawler had teleported off of his body in the previous issue, is magically reattached.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t “of note,” but I felt like mentioning it anyway.

Moving along, the submarine that Nightcrawler is aboard begins to malfunction and all of the passengers begin to suffocate in record time, causing the captain to surface the vessel. Once on the surface, Nightcrawler teleports onto the top of the sub to get some air, and then makes himself scarce when a huge ship approaches. The ship is run by Callisto, who is the sometimes leader of the subterranean Morlocks in the regular Marvel Universe, but is just a helpful boat captain in the Age Of Apocalypse…or so it seems.

In a brief cutaway, we see Damask, Dani Moonstar and Deadpool aboard a high altitude ship of some kind tracking Nightcrawler’s progress. Damask gets a call from Apocalypse (which is illustrated with some really ugly computer renderings or something) stating that they are to destroy Avalon once they find it, then as soon as he hangs up, Damask murders Dani for some reason.

Aaaaaaanyway...once all of the submarine’s passengers are loaded aboard Callisto’s ship with the promise of a continued journey to their destination of Avalon, the crew cons everyone out of their valuables with some lamebrain line about pretending it’s their salvage haul if they’re caught, and then they’re all flushed out of a ballast tank into the ocean to drown and freeze to death. Luckily, Nightcrawler was suspicious of Callisto and company (and rightfully so!), so he’d snuck aboard without anyone knowing. He begins to take out the crew, but when confronted by Callisto, the two are descended upon by Mystique, who appears from out of nowhere, dangling from a rope ladder hanging from a flying machine.

How’s that for a cliffhanger?

This was a weird issue. I’m not sure what all of this pirate business has to do with anything aside from giving Nightcrawler a chance to attack some people with swords. How did that trend start anyway? Why does Nightcrawler always seem to have a rapier handy? Once again, this is not Warren Ellis’ best work, but Ken Lashley, who drew issue 1, is nowhere to be found. He’s replaced on this issue by Roger Cruz and 3 other guys I’ve never heard of, and anytime there are 4 artists on an issue that isn’t an anthology book, that’s a bad sign. I’m not sure whose work is whose, but the sum of all those different artistic parts is not particularly good. The whole time I was reading this issue I was wishing that I were reading one of the other, more interesting titles of the Age Of Apocalypse crossover, so without further ado, I think I’ll give this issue a rest and do just that.

- R.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Weapon X #2

Writer: Larry Hama Artist: Adam Kubert Inker: Dan Green Colorist: Joe Rosas Letterer: Pat Brosseau

Cover Date: April 1995

Picking up the morning after the events of Weapon X #1, Wolverine has awoken to find Jean missing. Following the faint remnants of their “psi-link,” he tracks her down to the shores of Bristol on the west coast of England. Here, Jean is aiding in the check-in process for the untold thousands of humans rescued from Maine in Amazing X-Men #2. It wasn’t really clear to me before what Wolverine and Jean had been doing in Weapon X #1, but it is clarified during this scene that attacking the “Atlantic Sea Wall” created a hole in Apocalypse’s defenses through which the army of sentinels carrying human refugees could slip into Europe.

Moments after Jean and Wolverine reunite on the beach amid crowds of relocated humans, two of the evil mutants known as the Madri (Copycat and…Box? At least that’s what Copycat calls him) who had stowed away among the evacuated humans (in Amazing X-Men #2) are discovered by some security guards after setting off an alarm and a fight ensues. Wolverine and Jean jump in, quickly dispatching of the baddies, but the skirmish provides all the distraction that a separate group of nogoodniks need to slip past security.

Now, far be it from me to question the fast and loose logic which has heretofore run rampant throughout the Age Of Apocalypse storyline, but…an awful big deal was made in those first 2 issues of Amazing X-Men about who the mutant killing Sentinels would and wouldn’t turn to mutie pulp depending on which virus they were infected with by some disk that Quicksilver had. In the end, Dazzler had reprogrammed the Sentinels for about the 82nd time that day to recognize the X-Men and NOT their enemies as friendlies, which begs the question…how did 2 evil mutants stow away aboard one of these Sentinels and catch a ride all the way across the Atlantic ocean amidst an entire fleet of them?

Yeah, you’re right…it’s probably best not to think about it.

Anyway, Wolverine leaves Jean to her volunteer work and hops aboard one of the Human High Council’s fleet of zeppelins which will deliver the bombs that they’re planning to use to nuke Apocalypse from orbit over in the United States (and anyone else unfortunate enough to be there at the time, which is presumably A LOT of innocent civilians). 

Question: Why not use the Sentinels who just arrived on the shores of Bristol to deliver their bombs? They’ve got to be faster and more maneuverable than blimps. I mean, it’s even revealed in this scene that Brian (the leader of the HHC) Braddock’s Braddock Industries are the ones who manufacture the Sentinels. But I digress…

After Wolverine has a brief chat with Mariko, those other baddies who snuck past security in the first scene hijack one of the zeppelins in an attempt to halt the HHC’s attack on Apocalypse before it even gets off the ground (no pun intended). Wolverine makes the smartest possible decision and leaps out the window of his zeppelin, plummeting who knows how damned far to the hijacked (and flaming) airship below him. He takes out most of the bad guys, who it is revealed are “altered humans” (perhaps some of the guys that Beast has been cooking up in his lab for Apocalypse?) with names such as Pierce, Clegg and Slocum. Unfortunately, the leader of the pack manages to succeed in his mission, destroying the “analog guidance system” and foiling the HHC’s doomsday attack.

In the wake of the battle, which leaves Wolverine burned to a crisp, he feels Jean’s psi-link stirring again and takes off on his motorcycle for a remote airstrip. He arrives just as she is in the process of taking off in a small plane to go and warn the folks in America of the HHC’s intention to blow them all to smithereens in hopes of saving some innocent lives. They share a kiss as Wolverine clings to the wing of the plane and Jean gives him permission to stop her from leaving by killing her if that’s what he thinks is the right thing to do. Of course, he doesn’t. Much to my surprise though, he hops off of the plane, letting her jet off to the U.S. on her own.

I’ve got to be honest, I really enjoyed the melancholy ending of this issue. I fully expected Wolvie to end up siding with Jean and accompanying her to America. While he may eventually back her play somehow, the fact that he stayed behind in England was a pretty big shock. I also tend to love when characters who feel like they should be together on some kind of quest are forced by their circumstances to separate and go it alone, so this gave me a real “end of Fellowship Of The Ring” vibe when Sam and Frodo head off toward Mordor alone, leaving the rest of the Fellowship behind.

Nerd Alert!

Anyway, the writing by Larry Hama and art by Adam Kubert continue to be a good match for a story that isn’t my favorite of the Age Of Apocalypse event thus far, but certainly brings the action, which is always welcome. Onward and upward!

- R.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Generation Next #2

Writer: Scott Lobdell

Artist: Chris Bachalo

Inker: Mark Buckingham

Colorist: Steve Buccellato & Electric Crayon

Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft

Cover Date: April 1995

Not a ton happens in this issue. We pick up with Colossus and his team infiltrating the installation where Illyana Rasputin is being held captive, and that’s pretty much all we see.

Chamber and Grey take out a couple of Apocalypse’s employees and steal their uniforms. Oddly, the next time we see them they’re filing into the facility wearing cloaks and rags, leaving me to wonder why they stole the uniforms at all?

Colossus and Kitty are planning to sneak in the rear of the building, though they are held up a moment when Kitty is grabbed by an “Undercloak,” who are guys that can blend into the shadows (and become intangible)? Colossus exposes him to moonlight where he becomes tangible, then Kitty stabs him to death with her claws. Nothing much else happens in this scene, but we do learn that Colossus and Kitty are “married.” I put that in quotes because apparently they aren’t technically hitched, but consider one another husband and wife. They’ve even hyphenated their last names into “Pryde-Rasputin.”

Husk poses as a servant girl for a big, hairy, purple guy named Quietus, who seems to be in charge of the whole mining operation within the facility that the team is trying to breach. I think Quietus may be from the regular Generation X series, but as I mentioned in my previous Generation Next review, I’ve read woefully few Gen X issues, so I’m not 100% sure. Anyway, Quietus discovers that Husk is a traitor and knocks her around a bit before drinking from a flask she brought with her, which happens to contain the character Vincente from the previous issue, whose power set apparently involves changing his body from a solid to a liquid or a gas. Vincente takes out Quietus from within, and then the two hide inside his body, which Vincente controls like a puppet?? Yeah, I’m not really sure how any of that works.

Finally, Mondo is just creeping around, stealthily taking out guards and other baddies around the perimeter. In my last Generation Next review I posited that Mondo is made out of dirt, but his ability to morph into a brick wall in this issue leads to me believe that he may actually have powers similar to the Absorbing Man or Grunge from Gen 13.

Aside from one or two quick sequences of Illyana and another young girl hiding in the mines from the Sugarman (who I’m fairly positive IS from the regular Generation X series), that’s pretty much a wrap on this issue. As it ends, everyone is on the verge of sneaking into the mining facility.

The book reads fine despite not much happening, but I do have a complaint. Not so much with the comic itself, but with the Age Of Apocalypse omnibus I’ve been reading. The colors for this issue are SUPER dark. So dark that there were times I couldn’t really tell what I was looking at. Before writing this review I consulted the digital copy of the issue that I also have and not only are the colors much brighter in the digital format, but some parts of the book actually appear to be completely recolored for one of the collected editions. See the comparisons below (omnibus on the left, digital copy on the right):

So, a relatively uneventful issue, but not bad by any means. I just wish I could enjoy the Chris Bachalo art in my physical copy of the book a bit easier.

- R.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Gambit and the X-Ternals #2

Writer: Fabian Nicieza

Artist: Tony Daniel

Inker: Kevin Conrad, Al Milgrom & Mike Christian

Colorist: Marie Javins

Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos

Cover Date: April 1995

This one’s a doozy...

Starting off innocently enough, Gambit and the X-Ternals arrive on another planet in an entirely different galaxy from Earth, having been teleported there by Gambit’s lady friend Lila Cheney. Unfortunately, it just so happens that they’ve teleported directly in front of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard led by everyone’s favorite purple, mohawk-ed X-Men supporting character: Gladiator. A brief fight ensues, but the X-Ternals manage to escape into a nearby alien forest while Rictor, who had hitched a last-minute ride through Lila’s portal at the end of last issue, surrenders and is taken captive by the Imperial Guard.

Once in the forest, Gambit and company are subdued by sentient plantlife in a scene not unlike a very memorable one from the original Evil Dead (minus the tentacle rape) and brought before some blue dude named Jonath. This is where things get very confusing.

So, as best as I can decipher, Jonath was born half Shi’ar and half something called Mephisitoid and used to serve as an assassin in protection of Shi’ar royalty in an organization called “The Jath’che” (and yes, there are far more apostrophes per capita in this issue than you’ll find in your average comic book). After failing to protect their emperor from falling victim to patricide, the Jath’che were banished to the farming planet this issue takes place on, which is called “Ch’reesharaa.” Meanwhile, a guy named “D’ken,” who I think was one of the kids who killed the former Shi’ar emperor, tracked down the M’kraan Crystal, took over complete rule of the Shi’ar empire from his sister Deathbird and killed his other sister Lilandra (hey, finally a couple of names I recognize!). Unable to be controlled by any mortal however, the M’kraan Crystal began radiating out ever-increasing waves of energy which are “nullifying” the universe bit by bit (see: turning everything into shimmery glass like what happened to the regular Marvel universe at the end of Legion Quest). And now, for some reason, the fate of the known universe lies on the shoulders of Gambit and the X-Ternals who were apparently drawn to Ch’reesharaa by the planet itself when Lila opened her portal to bring them there.

Have you got all of that?

Anyway, Rictor teams up with Gladiator’s crew to track down the X-Ternals with a tracking device that he is conveniently revealed to have and the Shi’ar Imperial Guard suddenly show up to crash Jonath’s exposition party. Mid-fight, the planet begins to turn to glass as foretold by Jonath, but our heroes are suddenly teleported away just in the nick of time. However, this time it’s not Lila who’s doing the teleporting, but the Starjammers, whose ship they arrive on and whose help they’re seemingly going to get in completing their mission (which I’ll admit, I’m not too clear on the purpose of anymore).

There was a lot of seemingly nonsensical information to absorb in this issue, and I’ll admit that it took me about 3 read-throughs of some scenes to be able to properly translate what happened here. Still, I’m not sure if I’m missing anything. Gambit and the X-Ternals #2 is far from the best installment of the Age of Apocalypse storyline that I’ve read thus far. It felt more like a chore to get through than a fun time reading a comic, even when the brief moments of action occurred. Also, it didn’t really even feel like an AoA comic because of its cosmic nature. Aaaaand, Tony Daniel’s art already felt a lot more rushed and less nuanced than it did in issue 1. That could have something to do with the multiple inkers working over his pencils on this issue, but for whatever reason, the art felt like a step down from the last issue to me.

If the next 2 issues of Gambit and the X-Ternals get back to that feeling of a heist in space that the first issue seemed to promise, I have hopes that the series could get better from here. Honestly though, at this point I have no idea where issue 3 will take me.

- R.

[triplethreattheater]

Triple Threat Theater Episode 7:

Role Models

Films discussed on this episode:

Over The Top (1987)

Road To Perdition (2002)

Real Steel (2011)

Runtime: 1 hour, 46 minutes

Hosted By: Joe Daxberger & Rian Miller

Subscribe to Triple Threat Theater on iTunes or check us out on SoundCloud.

Follow Triple Threat Theater on Twitter and Instagram.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Astonishing X-Men #2

Writer: Scott Lobdell Artist: Joe Madureira Inker: Dan Green & Tim Townsend Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos Colorist: Steve Buccellato & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: April 1995

Okay, so as of the end of Astonishing X-Men #1, Rogue, Blink, Sunfire, Morph, Sabretooth and Wild Child took off on some sort of very dangerous mission. As it turns out, they have traveled to Chicago to help evacuate the human population still residing there and rescue them from a culling (see: mass genocide) at the hands of Holocaust. In advance of Holocaust’s impending arrival, however, he has sent along an army of killer drones to get his dirty work started for him. In the chaos, Sunfire loses his cool (no pun intended) and has to be “deactivated” by Rogue, who absorbs his powers. In doing so, she also obtains some of his memories, including a particularly brutal one in which Apocalypse and someone named Nemesis (more on him shortly) kill all of his friends and family before trying to drown him in a pool of blood. Yikes.

Meanwhile, Sabretooth convinces Blink to teleport him and Wild Child to wherever Holocaust actually is so that they can attempt to delay his arrival in Chicago long enough for the rest of the team to complete the evacuation. Knowing full well that he’s likely embarking upon a suicide mission, Sabretooth arrives in Indianapolis and confronts Holocaust, goading the location of his personal Infinite processing plant (where his army of goons is mass produced using the bodies of his victims) out of him. Sabretooth unleashes Wild Child to go destroy the processing plant as he distracts Holocaust with a fight.

During his battle with Sabretooth, we learn that Holocaust used to be the aforementioned character Nemesis before he murdered Scarlet Witch. Angered by the death of his daughter, Magneto seemingly destroyed Holocaust’s physical form, confining him to the life support armor that he currently wears. I’m beginning to think that I should have read X-Men Chronicles #1 before diving into the Age Of Apocalypse proper, because this is the second time I’ve seen events from that particular issue referenced in Editor’s Note captions in recent memory.

When all seems lost, Sabretooth makes one last, frantic attack on Holocaust, ripping off the faceplate of his armor and seemingly dispersing the energy within, which I suppose comprises what you might call his physical form (?), into the air. Following this, Sabretooth collapses to the ground either unconscious or dead (right now I’m not sure which) and the issue ends with Holocaust apparently pulling his molecules back together and reentering his suit of armor despite its missing helmet.

That’s the main plotline which makes up the meat of Astonishing X-Men #2, but there are two other scenes I’d like to touch on before I wrap up this review. The first is a brief interaction between Bishop and Magneto as the latter cradles his sleeping son Charles in his arms. Bishop demeans Magneto for sitting around at the ruins of the X-Mansion doing nothing while his team is out risking their lives to fight Apocalypse. Erik’s rebuttal is the point that, should their plan to defeat Apocalypse and set the world back the way it was before Legion Quest succeed, his child will cease to exist, so he wants to spend one last day with him. Not a bad point, if you ask me. It’s moments like this one which really add weight and stakes to the Age Of Apocalypse story. Just knowing that these are all alternate reality versions of the characters we’re used to and any of them could die at any moment adds a surprising amount of tension and suspense to the material.

The other scene I wanted to mention is one which I found a bit problematic. In the middle of the issue we cut to Apocalypse ranting and raving about wanting to find out where Magneto’s hideout is. So, full disclosure: I have both the recent omnibus hardcover collection of the entire Age Of Apocalypse event, as well as digital copies of the 4 trade paperback collections which were released a number of years before the omnibus. Both of these books present the various issues of the 8 AoA mini-series’ in a different order. I read Amazing X-Men #2 before Astonishing X-Men #2 because that’s the way they are ordered in the digital trades I was reading while on vacation. The problem here being that, if you read them in that order, Apocalypse should already know where Magneto is hiding out before he rants about it in this issue. So, the correct reading order should be Astonishing #2 before Amazing #2, right? Well...in Astonishing #2 Apocalypse is also heard complaining that Abyss failed to stop the X-Men from helping the Human High Council evacuate a bunch of humans from Maine using Sentinels, but there is an Editor’s Note during that dialogue sequence which claims that happened in Amazing X-Men #1 when, in fact, Abyss wasn’t even introduced until Amazing #2. Now, I’m not dumb enough that I couldn’t figure out the order of events on my own, but I thought it was worth mentioning that I’m honestly not positive that there is a correct order to read any of these comics in. Maybe if you chopped each issue up into individual scenes and interspersed them throughout one another, but who’s crazy enough to do that?

*reaches for scissors*

All nitpicking aside, Astonishing X-Men #2 was a very strong issue all around. It has plenty of good action drawn by Joe Madureira, a bit of backstory to flesh out the event overall, and a few strong scenes of emotional drama. Kudos to Scott Lobdell for delivering some of the most well-rounded installments of the Age Of Apocalypse.

- R.

[weirdandpissedoff]

Rian Reads: Amazing X-Men #2

Writer: Fabian Nicieza Artist: Andy Kubert Inker: Matt Ryan Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft Colorist: Kevin Somers & Digital Chameleon

Cover Date: April 1995

With Amazing X-Men #2 I am now 1/4 of the way through the Age Of Apocalypse crossover event and I’m happy to say that I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit overall. Picking up where we left off at the end of Amazing Men #1, Quicksilver and his gang of X-Men are up against a group of Apocalypse’s nogoodniks on the shores of Maine with the lives of hundreds of thousands (if I recall correctly) of human lives in the balance. Quicksilver had installed a virus in one of the Sentinels which should have changed their programming to view the X-Men as friendlies, but the baddies revealed at the last minute that they’d messed with the virus to protect themselves from the giant robots instead of our heroes.

So, as it turns out, the villains the X-Men currently find themselves in opposition of are The Madri (see: religious fanatics who follow Apocalypse, led by the Multiple Man, who personally makes up the majority of the organization with duplicates of himself). The individual characters are never really properly introduced, but I’ve gleaned from random bits of dialogue that Vanessa (also occasionally referred to as Sister Carlyle) is a shape-changer. Another character called Brother Madison is shown attacking Quicksilver with some sort of electric shock and then “reconfiguring [a] Sentinel’s programming,” so I guess he has some sort of technology or electricity based abilities? Spyne, Yeti and Arclight are other members of the group who are dispatched off-panel, and their leader, referred to as “the Cardinal Madri,” is presumably one of Multiple Man’s duplicates.

Storm shows up in time to stun the Sentinels with an electrical pulse and the ensuing battle with the Madri is pretty inconsequential and wraps up within a few pages. Of note, however, is a sequence in which Vanessa changes shape to appear as Quicksilver’s sister Scarlet Witch, who apparently died in the early days of the Age Of Apocalypse in a story I haven’t read from X-Men Chronicles #1,

While the rest of the team dispatches his followers, the Cardinal Madri flees to their transport ship where he is murdered by the newest member of Apocalypse’s Four Horsemen: The Abyss. The Abyss appears to be some sort of black hole surrounded in curly ribbons which comprise a vaguely humanoid body. In the opening scene of this issue he took a human child captive inside his…abyss…and he uses this kid as bait to goad Quicksilver into a fight. Quicksilver lets his emotions get the better of him and seemingly kills The Abyss by causing him to absorb himself into the void within himself. Or something.

With the captive child rescued and reunited with his family and the Sentinels reprogrammed YET AGAIN by Dazzler and company (seriously, how easy is it to reprogram a Sentinel? It has happened like 4 times within the first 2 issues of this series), the mission to deliver the human refugees into the welcoming arms of the Human High Council in Europe is well underway. For a moment there I was thinking that this story wrapped itself up about 2 issues too early, but the final scene of the issue foreshadows a visit by Apocalypse to Magneto’s hideout in the ruins of Xavier’s school now that he’s tortured its location out of Karma (Angel’s business partner over at the Heaven nightclub).

There was some decent action in this issue to go along with Andy Kubert’s awesome artwork and Fabian Nicieza’s capable script, but as I mentioned, things seemed to wrap up a bit quickly and easily with the X-Men’s rescue mission. I must admit that I’m looking forward to seeing Apocalypse finally get into the thick of things with a seeming attack on the X-Mansion in the near future, though.

- R.