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@weirdbrainweirdbody
Hey, I'm Aiden, and this is my dyspunktional blog
I'm a minor, and I use any pronouns except she/her
I'm autistic and I have hypermobility related chronic pain + psoriasis.
I used to have c-ptsd but my EMDR has put that into remission. I also experienced BPD traits from that but they're in remission now too. Old posts may reflect a time where I struggled with those symptoms more.
(previously @/madness-as-art)
Very fucking frustrating to see autism being reduced to a fun character trait that barely impacts functioning by ppl on tumblr. I was diagnosed age 6 and although I would not be myself without it, my autism has absolutely had a major negative impact on my life.
I have suffered and currently suffer so much because of it and that is something that I can't afford not to recognize. I'm not saying "hey autism is nothing but suffering and pain" I'm saying that talking about autism like it's the Special Interest Disorder is a reductive way to look at something that is an inescapable and often very difficult reality for the people who have it.
some ppl with hEDS live almost completely normal lives while others are in power chairs because their vertebrae are slipping out of place. some people with hEDS dont realize until they're older and gone through most of life assuming theyre able-bodied, and others are completely disabled by it, or have life threatening complications because of comorbidities.
i KNOW how frustrating it is that the loud majority of ppl with hEDS make it look like living with a mild cold, but i still need yall to remember that the other group of people also exist.
ive seen a couple different posts circulatating where people are bitching about ppl with hEDS hijacking thier posts to talk about their "mild disability", and while i COMPLETELY AGREE that you should make your own damn post i dont want people seeing that and assuming hEDS = mild joint pain.
for some people thats all it is, but for the rest of us poor fuckers who cant walk, sit up, work, or take care of ourselves because of how severe it is, we see you say that shit, and so does everyone else. you can bitch about the "spoonie community" as much as you want, i dont care. i complain about it too, id just be more careful about mentioning specific disabilities.
people with severe hEDS deserve to be taken seriously, especially because the larger EDS community barely fucking mentions us or just outright pretends we dont exist.
(i say "we", but mine is moderate at the moment. other people my age with hEDS have it so much worse than me. i see you, and i love you guys)
none of you got what i was saying here. i am talking about letting people with SEVERE hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome have a voice, stop fucking complaining aboit how you "might need a mobility aid in the future" in the notes, this is not about you!
im talking about the people who cant leave their house without a wheelchair, people who have feeding tubes, ports, people who cant walk, people who have had multiple joint replacements, people who have LIFE THREATENING complications, people who have SEVERE HEDS NOW. not "maybe sometime in the future".
i dont fucking care that you "might have hEDS". i dont care that you "might need a wheelchair", or it "might get worse for you". i dont give a fuck. its that bad for us now. and we deserve to be heard.
THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY YOURE TALKING OVER US. YOU NEED TO RECOGNIZE THAT NOT EVERY EDS POST IS ABOUT YOU.
there are so many other fucking blogs and posts for you to to bitch on, this is not the fucking one.
Why I hate how dandruff is presented
You've all seen the jokes- old man with dandruff, shaking his head and a cloud of snow falls down, dandruff just being there for a laugh... It's never treated as anything serious, ever. It's just a joke! And just a joke about old men at that.
I'm 17 years old. I've had dandruff since I was at least 11. I've been made fun of all that time for the white flakes that are a constant on my head.
I just saw dandruff as a joke, too.
At most, it was just my scalp being a bit dry, so it needed a moisturising shampoo.
Yeah.... Turns out I have scalp psoriasis. I'm in near constant pain, which gets worse whenever I'm ill or stressed, because psoriasis is an autoimmune disease. My immune system is attacking my own skin. It's gotten to the point where shampoo doesn't help. I'm just in pain, always. I'll have a doctor's appointment where we can discuss options soon hopefully.
It's painful enough that I end up with scabbing all over my scalp from scratching. I pull my hands away and my nails are bloody from repeatedly picking and itching the scabs.
So no, not just a funny joke.
When I mentioned how painful it was to my friend, (only referring to it as dandruff rather than psoriasis) he said "I didn't realise dandruff could be painful!". In fact, several conditions that can cause dandruff have the fact that they're itchy or sore in their their symptoms list- eczema, dermatitis, and of course psoriasis.
And yet people just see dandruff as a joke. Even now, I feel anxious writing this- I feel like someone's gonna read this and think 'why are they getting so serious about dandruff? Lighten up!'
Sure, for some people it's not painful. Just flaky. But even then, they can experience the same social issues I did- I still remember a pair of kids seeing my large white skin flakes on my dark hair and exclaiming that I had nits (lice for Americans), and running away shouting at me. I hate that it's treated as a joke, or stigmatised, and seen as just an old man thing.
It's an actually serious issue for so many people. Why isn't it treated as such?
autistic people of tumblr, do you prefer fiction or non-fiction? (whether it be in books, movies or even when you played as a kid)
fiction !!
it depends, but usually fiction.
either fiction or non-fiction. (no real preference)
it depends, but usually non-fiction.
non-fiction !!
fiction refers to anything that is not real, or based in fantasy, such as a made up story ; non-fiction is based in real facts & events !!
(allistics may vote in this poll.)
i was requested to gauge : which applies to you?
i'm autistic.
i have BPD.
both.
neither.
unsure !! (questioning either)
autistic users of tumblr, how is your ability to speak?
non-verbal / non-speaking.
semi-verbal / semi-speaking.
verbalflux (ability to speak fluctuates).
reliably speaking with speech loss episodes.
reliably / fully-speaking 100%.
hyper-verbal.
unsure where i fall in this poll, which is perfectly alright. ^^
speech difficulties / disorder unrelated to autism (but is autistic).
remember that non-verbal/speaking & semi-verbal/speaking are permanent states. episodes of inability to speak are called "speech loss" (or similar), not "going non-verbal".
Theoretically I can speak almost always, but I way way prefer using aac. It's so much more comfortable and less stressful almost always.
I do often lose access to (coherent) speech when I get tired or overwhelmed though, and I struggle with remembering how to say things frequently, like I'll know the word but I can't remember how to move my mouth to say it.
do not laugh at people for uncommon phobias
your phobias are not embarrassing. people can have phobias of absolutely anything, and they can be really precise and something that other people would think is strange to be scared of. your fears are valid feelings. you shouldn't have to be ashamed, but many people do not know about phobias beyond the common ones.
if it's something you don't understand because you've never seen it before, don't laugh at it.
they're not "being silly",
they can't "just get over it"
they need actual help, rather than unprofessional exposure therapy
they're experiencing real real fear
people with common phobias get sympathy; people with uncommon phobias get ridiculed at the worst possible moment: when they're in a state of fear.
so i repeat: don't laugh at them. 🌹🌹
The quick n dirty of whether or not you're supposed to be in the disabled stall in the bathroom is "are you using one of the access features in order to help you toilet?"
Like, do you need the extra space to fit in the stall or adjust clothes around a stoma? Do you need the grab bars to get on and off the toilet? Do you need to fit a caregiver or service dog with you? Do you need an open stall because your gi illness is gonna make you sick and all the other stalls are filled? Then you need the disabled stall.
If you want to use it because you like extra space or want to change into your gym clothes or something then go find somewhere else. You're taking the only space I can use for your comfort's sake and that's a dick move.
Feel worried about when I go to uni. If I'm out in busy public after about 10 pm it gets impossible to mask autism because tired and scared and overwhelmed. Speech and language gets near incoherent lose control over lots of body movements can't hide stims need to hug my comfort object (stuffed toy). Going to uni in a couple years (not certain when because need finish a levels and do a foundation course at a college then maybe need apply few times for uni course) and worried about what will happen then.
Always go out with my mother or father or both if out late so they can be carers. Hold my hand keep me safe make sure I don't get lost or hurt. But when in uni, what would I do? Lots of events run late and would need carer but don't know who. And in evenings get really scared around drunk adults and students because can't mask really so visibly autistic and weird. Don't know how they'd react. Lots of drunk students on Friday/Saturday in uni cities especially ones I wanna go.
Want to do student events when in uni. Want to go to the cinema and mixers and parties. But scary.
Maybe should hire a carer? But don't need one full time, just a couple times a week for prompting or rare occasions I go out and the whole process is overwhelming. Can't be just a friend going with I think because would need someone with the entire time as soon as I get tired helping me specifically. Unless friend is okay being only a carer and staying with me and going where and when I need to rather than having fun independently. Which is unlikely.
Advice is welcome. Please.
is Cotards episodic? Does the delusion end or is it a permanent belief
cotard's is just a specific delusion, and it works like every other type of delusion.
a delusion's severity waxes and wanes over time back and forth. when it's at a low severity it can become easier to double-bookkeep, but when it's in a higher severity it can become impossible to double-bookkeep and it will impact you greatly. for example i will Always know i'm dead, but depending on the day it can be more impactful than on others. sometimes delusions start going away, but usually that involves the delusion fading overtime as you develop into a new delusion. very rarely do delusions completely go away, they will usually continue to impact you if you have diagnoses like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. in my case, i used to regularly have grandiose delusions of being able to control the wind. while it isn't a big delusion for me anymore, i still find myself believing it even though it isn't a Primary Delusion.
it depends on your specific diagnosis! if you only experience psychosis in episodes then a delusion can end or stop affecting you completely.
i'm only speaking from a schizophrenic point of view, as i experience psychosis everyday! i hope this answers some things for you and feel free to correct me if anything i said here is inaccurate!
I don't (tend to) have delusions anymore but when I did, they were always episodic rather than a daily occurrence. They occured I believe because of PTSD. I remember once having a delusion that I had lost all my blood and organs (so part of what cotards is) for a few days, so it can definitely be episodic.
im so fucking serious when i say that no one is crueler to visibly disabled people than girlies with blue wolfcuts and sharp eyeliner wearing hundred dollar sweaters from shein.
like. there's a weird misconception that it's old people, but i have never once had an issue with anyone over the age of, like, 55. they are fine with me muttering to myself or making weird faces or not hearing them the first five times they call my name. that's not a problem for them. when my brother goes out with a cane, they're the ones who compliment it, and tell him the spikes and ribbons are a cute addition.
yesterday this pink haired girl in the bathroom told me that i needed to stay away from movie theaters if i was going to act like a schizo. ten minutes later an 80 year old woman complimented me on my bright red hearing aids and said she wished she had that confidence when she got hers.
anyways to the anon who just said that maybe i shouldn't be in public spaces. thank you for proving my point
no offense but if you're low support autistic or adhd and you're thinking of adding on your story, i very much cannot stop you, but i beg of you to remember this post was about psychosis and physical disabilities. there's a problem with people taking over posts about physical and more stigmatized disorders and making them about low support autism and adhd
what, if any, of your joints/bones pop or crack (other than your back)
fingers/toes
wrists/ankles
neck
knees
hips
elbows
collarbones
sternum
multiple (say in tags!)
are you guys ok???
i've experienced popping and cracking in all of the above so i wanna know how normal this is
Everywhere except collar and sternum, plus jaw. I have a hypermobility spectrum disorder though which comes with lotsa clicking joints
found on r/schizophrenia and genuinely think this can be pretty helpful.
(if someone wants to add an image id, please do, i'm not sure how exactly to id tables/charts)
My identical twin doesn't have psoriasis but I do. You'd think they would seeing as psoriasis is a genetic condition but no. So why do they not have it?
Well apparently trauma can trigger autoimmune diseases to activate. And I had c-ptsd. They didn't.
Pretty frustrating that even after EMDR therapy there's still ways my c-ptsd manages to fuck me up up lmao
