Jason Burchak

[aksjasonburchak]

Life Lessons with Jason #83

Namie: *to her palpitations* Stop skipping, this ain’t hopscotch 

[aksjasonburchak]

Life Lessons with Jason #82

Me: Hey Namie, are movie titles underlined, or italicized? 

Namie: How the fuck would I know?

Me: You’re a fucking writer.

[straightwhiteboystexting]

clarychachaslide

yeah ok

[aksjasonburchak]

Life Lessons with Jason #81

Astrid: *sees a post* “Ghosts are just boneless skeletons. 

Riku: *Quietly* Then why do they moan?

[aksjasonburchak]

Life Lessons with Jason #80

Namie: *While Watching the new Samurai Jack pilot*

Namie: *The Music Man/robot guy come on the screen* Someone’s played Fallout

Me: Why cause he looks like a synth? 

Namie: No cause that’s Hancock.

[askjaradvodsavo]

How are you Lord Jarad?

Still dead, and still Guildmaster. Do you have some business with me or do you just enjoy being a distraction?

[aksjasonburchak]

@askjaradvodsavo

“I know by now that you don’t. You would have done something a long time ago.” He turned to grab his staff. “You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?”

He idly watched him grab his staff internally hoping he wasn’t going to be attacked. “Oh I do; Vraska. Can’t fucking stand her.” he stated with all seriousness. 

[askjaradvodsavo]

“That makes two of us.” He strode past Jason, standing in his own doorway. “Walk with me,” he said, somewhere between a request and an order. “Let’s talk.”

[aksjasonburchak]

“As you wish, Guildmaster” he nodded coming to stand beside Jarad, “At your lead.”

[coalescingfragments-deactivated]

send a symbol for a headcanon!

☂ – what does your muse like to do on a rainy day?

☃ – what does your muse like to do on a snowy day?

☀ – what does your muse like to do on a sunny day?

⚭ – does you muse have any contradicting opinions/views? If so, then what are they?

⚰ – has your muse ever had a near-death experience?

⛸ – what sort of hobbies does your muse have? If they do, then do they have a preference for any particular one?

⛾ – does your muse prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps both, or neither?

☘ – how lucky is your muse? Do they believe in luck as a concept, or think it’s a bunch of hooey?

☠ – has your muse ever killed anyone? Has it been in cold blood or self-defense? Both?

♟ – has your muse ever used someone to gain something, whether it’s been power/material possessions/political control/etc?

☤ – what’s your muse’s health like? Do they keep up with it, or has it degraded over time?

☐ – does your muse feel incomplete? Do they feel whole? Why do they feel whichever way?

[fiveheaded-drunk-god-deactivate]

Swearing In German

since we german folks swear quite a lot I figured I should make a post about swear words, for everyone who’s learning german~

🔥Scheiße literally means: shit example: “Scheiße! Ich hab mein Handy verloren!“

🔥Verdammt literally means: damn example: “Verdammt, wo sind meine Schlüssel?“ can also be combined with Scheiße: Verdammte Scheiße

🔥Arschloch literally means: asshole example: “Lass mich in Ruhe, du Arschloch!“

🔥Arschgesicht literally means: assface example: “Ja, Markus ist schon echt ein Arschgesicht, oder?“

🔥Wichser comes from the word for male masturbating (wichsen) example: “Du bist echt so ein Wichser!“

🔥Fotze literally means: pussy is often used to refer to women, but not exclusively example: “Geh mir aus dem Weg, Fotze!“

🔥Hurensohn literally means: son of a bitch (yes we have one handy word for it) break down: hure = whore, sohn = son example: “Du Hurensohn!“ (simple but effective)

🔥Trottel means something like: fool / is also another word for Idiot example: “Du bist ein Trottel, weißt du das?“

🔥Idiot example: “Bist du wirklich so ein Idiot?“

🔥Kevin example: “Du bist so ein Kevin/Du bist echt ein Kevin/So ein Kevin“

🔥Bauer literally means: farmer similar use like Kevin example: “Du bist so ein Bauer/Du bist echt ein Bauer/Du bist so ein Bauer“

🔥Mongo means something like: retarded/retard example: “Du Mongo“

Weaker and more Harmless swear words (you could even use around kids.. but it would still be better not to swear at all in their presence)

🔥 Kacke literally means: poop a kind of weaker version of Scheiße example: “So eine Kacke!“ can also be combined with Verdammt: Verdammte Kacke

🔥Blödmann means: dumbass example: “Was für ein Blödmann, dieser Polizist..“

+ Bonus: Expressions

🔥Fick dich literally means: Fuck you / screw you

🔥Leck mich literally means: lick me example: “Weißt du was? Leck mich! Ich mach da nicht mit“

🔥Du kannst mich mal means something like: you can screw me

🔥Rutsch mir den Buckel runter means something like: slide down my back

🔥Verpiss dich literally means: piss off

[scooterscanleyrpmemes]

Send me a 🌟 for our muses looking at the night sky together!

[moonhag]

PSA

[cats-explained]

Meow meow!

As much as I wish for every kitty to have a loving home, that’s simply not realistic! These TNR kitties help to prevent countless homeless and unwanted kittens whose lives would only go to waste. 

You can learn more about TNR and caring for your local strays by visiting Alley Cat Allies, the organization which began the program!

[clockwork-glitter-kitten]

Feral kitties keep pest populations down! (Way better than my pet kitties, one of which lets mice run across his paws -_-) Since the cat colony across the street started hunting in my yard, I’ve had no more problems with mice in my house, either!

[askjaradvodsavo]

How are you Lord Jarad?

Still dead, and still Guildmaster. Do you have some business with me or do you just enjoy being a distraction?

[aksjasonburchak]

@askjaradvodsavo

“I know by now that you don’t. You would have done something a long time ago.” He turned to grab his staff. “You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?”

He idly watched him grab his staff internally hoping he wasn’t going to be attacked. “Oh I do; Vraska. Can’t fucking stand her.” he stated with all seriousness. 

[askjaradvodsavo]

How are you Lord Jarad?

Still dead, and still Guildmaster. Do you have some business with me or do you just enjoy being a distraction?

[aksjasonburchak]

@askjaradvodsavo

“Because…” He rapidly tapped at his desk before standing up. “Nevermind. That doesn’t matter. What brings you back here?”

“No, no. C’mon now you’ve got me curious.” he leaned against the nearest wall, crossing his arms across his chest, “Do finish you’re thought.”

[askjaradvodsavo]

Jarad leaned over his desk, both hands laying flat against it. “You can understand my concern when there is a planeswalker at large who has openly declared her intention to kill me, and another is capable of just waltzing past my security.”

[aksjasonburchak]

“Of course, guildmaster. Would it help if i promise I mean you no harm?” He took a few steps closer “I’m quite adept at sneaking I assure you, I also assure you I’m not in league with who is after you.”

[inboxstuff]

Put one of these sentences in my inbox for my muse's reaction!

Is that my jacket?

Are you wearing space pants? Because your butt is outta this world!

You shouldn’t have called the police.

You liar!

What’s the worst that could happen?

Stay back!

Put that down.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.

It’s not my fault they escaped!

You forgot to buy the biscuits.

Your feet smell.

Oh, this looks expensive! …Oops.

I bought a cat.

You need to leave.

Why did you do that?

[askjaradvodsavo]

How are you Lord Jarad?

Still dead, and still Guildmaster. Do you have some business with me or do you just enjoy being a distraction?

[aksjasonburchak]

@askjaradvodsavo

“Because…” He rapidly tapped at his desk before standing up. “Nevermind. That doesn’t matter. What brings you back here?”

“No, no. C’mon now you’ve got me curious.” he leaned against the nearest wall, crossing his arms across his chest, “Do finish you’re thought.”

[askjaradvodsavo]

How are you Lord Jarad?

Still dead, and still Guildmaster. Do you have some business with me or do you just enjoy being a distraction?

[aksjasonburchak]

Oh come on, guildmaster. We’re friends aren’t we? What’s a little distraction between friends?

[askjaradvodsavo]

“Oh, it’s you. The fact that you keep getting in here does not speak well of my security…”

[aksjasonburchak]

“Oor, Maybe they just like me.” He grinned “Ooor, I’m just that good.”

[askjaradvodsavo]

The lich rolled his neck with an audible crack. “That can’t be it.”

[aksjasonburchak]

He visually flinched muttering ‘ow’ at the noise, “And why is that so impossible?”

[1st-1]

[aksjasonburchak]

@withtaintedblood

they always love the ones on hiatus

I know right?? What’s up with that?