It was kind of stupid— no, really stupid. Stupid and pathetic to have a crush on your Lieutenant. You’re not entirely sure how you came to the realization that you had feelings for him. All you knew, was that one day, he gave you the nastiest ten second stare of his life before he sharply turned around and walked away.
Nasty as in: pure judgement.
Because unbeknownst to you, Simon had witnessed you (just before you saw him) smashing four slices of pizza together into your mouth after Johnny had dared you to for a full bottle of Cognac. Hey— you’ll take whatever it was as long as it could make you feel like heaven for five hours and sour when you wake up.
Since then, you’ve acknowledged your little feelings towards the cold, quiet and ruthless man (who were you kidding? You’re amazing at acknowledging your feelings). Johnny had picked up on it too. It was pretty obvious when you looked up at Simon like he was a sweet treat… Which, he is. But you won’t tell anyone how you feel.
The amount of times Johnny had witnessed you stumbling and hit the floor after seeing Simon for just a second, to the times he saw you choke on your own spit after Simon called for you; he’d consider you utterly desperate for the old hag (yes, Johnny considers Simon an old hag, even if it was directed towards older ladies. He practically acts like one so why not make a new nickname for him?)
Johnny doesn’t say a word though. He doesn’t tease, like he usually would’ve. He kept his mouth shut but his eyes wide every time he sees you interact with Simon. Honestly, he just wanted to see how long it’ll take for you to break. And… It was free entertainment.
You’ve done several things to try and get Simon’s attention. To dropping off paperwork that he could’ve gotten himself, making him tea even though he already had one in his office, even buying a fruit tart from the nearest bakery and claimed that “they gave me an extra one”.
And every time you walked away after giving Simon a delightful treat with the same lie, Simon always says the same thing.
“Pretty privilege,” he grumbles under his breath and slides over the brown box with the plastic opening at the top. He examines it like he always does; as though he was wary of poison being in there. But the truth was, he was just jealous that you happen to get a “free” dessert every time you go to his favorite bakery. He’s pretty sure the university student over the counter was terrified of him too. Yet, here you were, giving him your leftovers! Maybe you were doing this because you knew about his biggest secret… his favorite bakery shop. And you waltz in his office, dropping off an extra dessert because you wanted to bully antagonize him!
Simon was oblivious.
Very oblivious.
So oblivious that Kyle watched you “fix” Simon’s vest up before training. He stood there with Johnny with the flattest expression, watching you pat him down like you were some airport security guard. All while, Simon’s eyes were blank, staring ahead of him like a child waiting while their mother fixes up their hair before school. “Reckon he’ll fold?” he murmurs to Johnny.
Johnny gives Kyle a glance and the evil-ist smirk he’s ever seen, “is the water green?”
Kyle scrunches his nose, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Wot?” he drags out the confusion.
“Like, is the sky blue but instead, is the water green— answer’s no. That’s your answer,” Johnny explains, watching Kyle as his face contorts into more confusion, a slight scowl on his lips.
“Why didn’t you just say no?”
When Johnny finally gets sick of rewatching season one, episode three-hundred-and-sixty-five of “When Will You Like Me”, directed by you, played by you and Simon, he finally bombards Simon with questions involving you. It’s not his fault his two favorite characters from his free entertainment won’t progress!
“Got yah ‘nother dessert, eh?” Johnny asks, leaning against the uncomfortable chair.
Simon strictly had one chair and one chair only in his office for a reason. How in the world did Johnny manage to find a chair and bring it into his office? He looks up from his paperwork, the office chair underneath him squeaking just a bit. “I’m working.”
Johnny smiles, the same cocky smiles he usually gives people when he knows that his presence is bothering them. “I see that,” he begins, watching Simon go back to filing paperwork like his job depends on it. It does, but right now, it shouldn’t. “I think yer bloody special. Never gives me desserts,” he says, talking about you.
Simon finally sets the pen down besides the paper and sighs through his nose. It was clear that his friend-slash-teammate wasn’t leaving anytime soon. “You want it?” he asks, sliding the box over. This time, filled with macaroons. “Dunno why they keep giving me treats. ‘s like they enjoy seeing me in agony.”
Yeah, Simon was very oblivious.
And so was Johnny.
“Tummy ache?” he questions.
Simon’s brows knitted together behind his balaclava and shook his head, “bloody hell- no—“ he began, shaking his head again as if the thought of getting an upset stomach over dessert was unheard of, “jus’ seems like they’re rubbin’ in my face ‘bout how they get free desserts,” he grumbles, taking the box back.
Funny thing about Simon; he offered Johnny the macaroons and immediately takes them back. Happens way too often.
“Ahh…” Johnny whispers out, mouth ajar as he watches Simon set the box in his secret drawer (definitely does not keep protein bars and snacks in there).
Simon sit there momentarily, side eyeing Johnny as he examines his office. He never stays too long in his room; says it’s too stuffy and gray. So why was he choosing to sit in here? It was pissing him off. But while he’s on the topic of you, he might as well vent a little. “Yah see that face of ‘em and jus’ can’t help but puke. Bloody lashes makes ‘em look innocent,” Simon says with a scoff.
Johnny blinks.
“Acts all proper ‘n all when I know they once hopped a fence and tore their uniform up. Arse was scraped up and who had to deal with the paperwork? Had the audacity to offer me dinner for the nuisance,” Simon shakes his head, “Don’ even get me started on that voice of theirs. Too bitterly sweet. No one in our field’ll take ‘em seriously.”
Johnny blinks again.
Then, he came to the realization.
In Simon’s weird way, he feels the same way you do. In a… ‘gosh, this person makes me so mad. I want to kiss them’ kind of way?
Maybe he’ll get a season two of this free show after all.
“Had to kiss ‘em once to shut that mouth of theirs.”
Johnny didn’t blink this time. His jaw though? Dropped. “WHAT?!” Somehow, he lost his Scottish accent.
Simon snapped his head over to look at his friend, realizing what he had said. “Drunk-“ he admitted. But the damage was already done. “Fucks sake! It happened once! Happened last week when you forced us all to go out to the pub! Little shit didn’t even remember a thing so don’t tell a soul before I request you to be sent off on a solo op!”
Oh, Johnny skipped a few episodes. Perhaps even a whole season!
And you?
Yeah, you didn’t forget it at all.
