[welcometo-ourlife]

8 years ago today was my baby shower. Little did I know a month later I would lose her. All week facebook has been flooding me with memories leading up to the day.

What hurts me the most is having to hide my feelings about it. Carry on with normal life. I have noone to talk to about it. Family, friends, etc... its like she was forgotten. No one talks about her. No one asks me how I'm doing. I know it's been 8 years but I still feel the pain everyday. I have feelings and emotions that are still as raw as they were the day I lost her. A part of me was lost that day that I will never get back.

I may not be the best at opening up and sharing my feelings. I may get into "moods." But what I can't stand is when people push their own guilt, anger, or fears on me when they don't understand what I go through. Make everything about themselves and fabricate absurd accusations to make themselves feel better.

I hope you feel better about yourself now.

[welcometo-ourlife]

[welcometo-ourlife]

So.... Valentines was great. Matt and I gave each other our gifts a day early and had a delicious steak dinner.

Here is where the fun begins...

2/14/2021: Mostly a chill day, waiting for the snow to come. Prepared for a nice couple of days at home until the weather settled down. It started to snow about 10pm and we took obligatory Texas snow pics. Matt and I stayed up til about 4am just giddy about the snow and even enjoyed ourselves in a quick snowball fight.

2/15/2021: Another chill day. Woke up to a winter wonderland and shocked it was still there. If your from Texas you know that ANY snow here melts away by morning. Example: 2017. We had been hearing many reports from the news, social feeds, family and friends that they had no power, heat or water. CPS (our energy company) started rolling outsges which were suppose to be organized but they weren't. Luckily our home had not been hit with the rolling outages yet and we had power the whole day. Our cell service has been super bad.. sometimes don't even work.. compliments of the outages. We made a large pot of chili for dinner and played some games on the PS5 before going to bed.

2/16/2021: We lost power at 8AM. Honestly we just stayed home and chilled some more in the dark. Dressed up in double layers and tried to stay warm. We even tried boiling some water over a candle to try and make some coffee. 🤣 Ate some sandwiches pretty early on because we didn't know when we would have power again and needed to eat before anything started to spoil in the refrigerator. Later in the afternoon we ventured out to find any store that would be open to maybe find some wood or charcoal since we have a fire pit. The roads were still pretty bad and majority of the highways and roads were closed down so we couldn't really go far. Also, lines to get in anywhere were atrocious. I mean wrapped around buildings so we stopped at a Valero, got some coffee, and went back home. Our power came back on at 5PM and we ate leftover chili. I quickly made a pot of coffee and ran 2 loads of laundry to make sure we had clean warm clothes. Unsure of when of if or when we would lose power again. Sure enough it turned off at 11pm so we just went to bed. At this point still many people have not had power, heat, and some water for over 24 hours. Including family members.

2/17/2021: While we were asleep the power turned on again around 2am but was off again by 4am. It was enough to warm up the house a bit. We rolled out of bed around 11am and bundled up to go find a gas station and fill up the truck. Unleaded is pretty much hard to find and lines to even get gas were long. We ended up just getting premium gas which I'm sure will be out soon enough. We found an open Chinese food place so we got some food and headed home. On the way back to the house my dad texted me and said the power was back on (1:20pm) so we were able to come home to a decent warm house. Around 4pm we found out our city is under a boil water notice meaning any tap water we drink will need to be boiled first. So I boiled up enough water to fill up 3 pitchers and put them outside to get cold. Buying bottled water is out if three picture is out of the question cause it's sold out pretty much everywhere. About 8:20PM and our power is out again. Which leads me to now. Writing this post. Luckily we have not had any water issues or pipes freezing like others. Phone service is still really spotty. I'm sure we will be calling it a night soon.

AND WE HAVE POWER AGAIN! As I'm writing this. 😁

Will update again soon. We are expecting more snow in the early morning and tomorrow. I just want to blog this now so I can look back!

[welcometo-ourlife]

Nothing much to update. Our power and remained on, our boil notice ended as of 2/20/2021 around 5pm, and the snow is all melted. Some areas are still without power and water and stores are still semi bare.

Life is back to normal for us but what a week that was !!!

[welcometo-ourlife]

So.... Valentines was great. Matt and I gave each other our gifts a day early and had a delicious steak dinner.

Here is where the fun begins...

2/14/2021: Mostly a chill day, waiting for the snow to come. Prepared for a nice couple of days at home until the weather settled down. It started to snow about 10pm and we took obligatory Texas snow pics. Matt and I stayed up til about 4am just giddy about the snow and even enjoyed ourselves in a quick snowball fight.

2/15/2021: Another chill day. Woke up to a winter wonderland and shocked it was still there. If your from Texas you know that ANY snow here melts away by morning. Example: 2017. We had been hearing many reports from the news, social feeds, family and friends that they had no power, heat or water. CPS (our energy company) started rolling outsges which were suppose to be organized but they weren't. Luckily our home had not been hit with the rolling outages yet and we had power the whole day. Our cell service has been super bad.. sometimes don't even work.. compliments of the outages. We made a large pot of chili for dinner and played some games on the PS5 before going to bed.

2/16/2021: We lost power at 8AM. Honestly we just stayed home and chilled some more in the dark. Dressed up in double layers and tried to stay warm. We even tried boiling some water over a candle to try and make some coffee. 🤣 Ate some sandwiches pretty early on because we didn't know when we would have power again and needed to eat before anything started to spoil in the refrigerator. Later in the afternoon we ventured out to find any store that would be open to maybe find some wood or charcoal since we have a fire pit. The roads were still pretty bad and majority of the highways and roads were closed down so we couldn't really go far. Also, lines to get in anywhere were atrocious. I mean wrapped around buildings so we stopped at a Valero, got some coffee, and went back home. Our power came back on at 5PM and we ate leftover chili. I quickly made a pot of coffee and ran 2 loads of laundry to make sure we had clean warm clothes. Unsure of when of if or when we would lose power again. Sure enough it turned off at 11pm so we just went to bed. At this point still many people have not had power, heat, and some water for over 24 hours. Including family members.

2/17/2021: While we were asleep the power turned on again around 2am but was off again by 4am. It was enough to warm up the house a bit. We rolled out of bed around 11am and bundled up to go find a gas station and fill up the truck. Unleaded is pretty much hard to find and lines to even get gas were long. We ended up just getting premium gas which I'm sure will be out soon enough. We found an open Chinese food place so we got some food and headed home. On the way back to the house my dad texted me and said the power was back on (1:20pm) so we were able to come home to a decent warm house. Around 4pm we found out our city is under a boil water notice meaning any tap water we drink will need to be boiled first. So I boiled up enough water to fill up 3 pitchers and put them outside to get cold. Buying bottled water is out if three picture is out of the question cause it's sold out pretty much everywhere. About 8:20PM and our power is out again. Which leads me to now. Writing this post. Luckily we have not had any water issues or pipes freezing like others. Phone service is still really spotty. I'm sure we will be calling it a night soon.

AND WE HAVE POWER AGAIN! As I'm writing this. 😁

Will update again soon. We are expecting more snow in the early morning and tomorrow. I just want to blog this now so I can look back!

[welcometo-ourlife]

We got a real tree this year.

Obviously I'm really into the buffalo check this year. I incorporated it into our Thanksgiving decor as well but I have been really lacking in the Tumblr updates because this year has just been shit.

I need to get into the Christmas Spirit. I need need to be happy. Marriage is great kids are great but there is an all to real dullness in life as of late that I'm pretty much desperate to get out of.

[welcometo-ourlife]

I'm really struggling with life right now.

😩😩😩

With absolutely no one to talk to about it.

[welcometo-ourlife]

Today's post brought to you by depression. 👍

[xafrosunflowerx]

It’s okay to not want to give your energy to people that are constantly looking for pity….. or who are just self loathing. Setting those boundaries is self love, and it doesn’t mean you don’t care for the other person…… It just means that you DO NOT need to take on THEIR emotions, just because they can’t process their own, on their own.

[octoberanytime]

I could really go for a crisp 56 degree October day with Halloween movies on, fall candles burning and cookies in the oven right now.  🍂 🎃

[whitepeopletwitter]

[welcometo-ourlife]

I am so over covid 19.

[tendernotion]

[welcometo-ourlife]

I just want someone to tell me it will be alright. Someone to hold me when I'm sad and help me up when I'm down. 7 years may be a long time to others but not to me. All the emotions and memories.. pain and suffering I endured. They are still so real and fresh to me.. as if they JUST happened. I do a DAMN good job holding myself together every single day but for just 1 day, out of 365 days in a year I just want someone who is there for me no matter what.

[rxcknrxlla]

[welcometo-ourlife]

March 2020 so far.... San Antonio, Texas edition.

Lackland Airforce Base was/is holding quarantined patients from China. I live 5 miles from the base.

My husband works at Northstar mall and manages the Verizon store there. A patient who tested positive for the Corona Virus (released from Lackland AFB) visited the same mall for 2 hours on Feb 29.

They closed the mall down for 24 hours on March 2nd for a deep clean. It's been a ghost town ever since they reopened which will hurt husbands commission pay.

Kids spring break started when they got out of school on 3/6. They are out of school another week with a return date of 3/23. For now anyway. Date could potentially change.

We went to Austin, Tx 3/9 but have been home since then only leaving for work.

San Antonio is the first city to have a drive thru testing site for Corona. Only for medical personnel, first responders, etc.

We did not stock up like apparently everyone else and had to go to 5 different places last night just to find toilet paper, a gallon of milk, and a loaf of bread.

Our HEB's are only open from 8am-8pm now and Walmarts will start closing at 11pm.

Fiesta has been postponed for November. (This is a big deal for San Antonio natives)

Six Flags, SeaWorld, the Zoo, public libraries, museums, etc... they are all closed.

[welcometo-ourlife]

UPDATE as of 3/17

Northstar mall (husbands job) changed their operating hours to 12-7pm. Only a matter of time until they close completely.

My job has changed hours as well and reduced hours. There is talk of closing temporarily and no talk of wfh options.

Schools are now closed until April 3rd with "hopes to reopen April 6th." That's a direct quite from the school district.

Our electricity and water companies, CPS and SAWS, are holding off on disconnecting for non payments. Not sure how long this will be for.

Restaurants, fast food, and bars are either closing completely or closing dining areas.

Food is still flying off the shelves at all local grocery stores DESPITE all the news outlets and then some stating it's not necessary and people DO NOT need to be bulk buying.

[welcometo-ourlife]

UPDATE as of 3/23

Tonight San Antonio announced we are now under a strict 'Stay Home, No Work' executive order. Basically it's now mandatory to stay home with the exception of going to work (essential workers) or getting groceries, meds, etc. We can still go outside for exercise.

Matt was informed today that as of 7pm tonight, Northstar Mall will be closing so now we are both out of job temporarily. Not sure how long this will last.

Groceries stores are still pretty bad. Cant find toilet paper or eggs pretty much anywhere. Those are the main 2 things that are the hardest to find.

Ammo is flying off the shelves and is now being limited on how much can be bought per person. This scares me a bit.

Coming up on the end of the month and rent will be due. Need to call our landlord.

Just heard the news report that the Olympics IS postponed.

Its chaos y'all.

[raisingwildrabbitts]

I forgive you, self, for all the years I could not love you.

[welcometo-ourlife]

March 2020 so far.... San Antonio, Texas edition.

Lackland Airforce Base was/is holding quarantined patients from China. I live 5 miles from the base.

My husband works at Northstar mall and manages the Verizon store there. A patient who tested positive for the Corona Virus (released from Lackland AFB) visited the same mall for 2 hours on Feb 29.

They closed the mall down for 24 hours on March 2nd for a deep clean. It's been a ghost town ever since they reopened which will hurt husbands commission pay.

Kids spring break started when they got out of school on 3/6. They are out of school another week with a return date of 3/23. For now anyway. Date could potentially change.

We went to Austin, Tx 3/9 but have been home since then only leaving for work.

San Antonio is the first city to have a drive thru testing site for Corona. Only for medical personnel, first responders, etc.

We did not stock up like apparently everyone else and had to go to 5 different places last night just to find toilet paper, a gallon of milk, and a loaf of bread.

Our HEB's are only open from 8am-8pm now and Walmarts will start closing at 11pm.

Fiesta has been postponed for November. (This is a big deal for San Antonio natives)

Six Flags, SeaWorld, the Zoo, public libraries, museums, etc... they are all closed.

[welcometo-ourlife]

UPDATE as of 3/17

Northstar mall (husbands job) changed their operating hours to 12-7pm. Only a matter of time until they close completely.

My job has changed hours as well and reduced hours. There is talk of closing temporarily and no talk of wfh options.

Schools are now closed until April 3rd with "hopes to reopen April 6th." That's a direct quite from the school district.

Our electricity and water companies, CPS and SAWS, are holding off on disconnecting for non payments. Not sure how long this will be for.

Restaurants, fast food, and bars are either closing completely or closing dining areas.

Food is still flying off the shelves at all local grocery stores DESPITE all the news outlets and then some stating it's not necessary and people DO NOT need to be bulk buying.