monster factory: recreating a beloved sitcom in the sims 4
content warnings: body horror, some n.s.f.w. references, nonsense (??? i guess that’s a warning), unsanitary references, surveillance (in one prompt) feel free to change the pronouns and input names as you see fit.
“He looks like a contestant on the Pick-up Artist.”
“You’ve already ruined him.”
“No, from a side profile, you can see his teeth through his mouth. You can see the inside of his eyeballs!”
“Nothing is good about this, [name].”
“You see this guy at a bar, and you’re like, ‘hey what’s up, you look like a cool guy I can be friends with, got a little bit of an overbite but I’m not bothered by that,’ all of a sudden, something, ‘oh wait a second, you’re a sunfish’.”
“He looks like a fat Freddie Mercury! He’s the champion of nothing!”
“No, I’m not a sell-out. I wanna make something original with my time on this earth. I wanna create an easily-franchisable character, something that children-- oh no-- something that children will dream about in the nighttimes, and so the dreaming hours the children will see for them. Something in the dreaming hours, yes!”
“What possible justification would he have for wearing this in the formal times?”
“Little juicy butt-meat.”
“This is our child we’re talking about.”
“Why can’t we have just a big old juicy butt?”
“Oh my God, his chin goes inside him.”
“Play your cards right and it’ll go inside you, too.”
“Why would anyone want that?!”
“It’s a new move! I read about it in Cosmos! It’s ‘Cosmo’ for space!”
“This is my son, Random Boy.”
“Help me find the perfect boy.”
“Now that’s a boy I can get into!”
“Look at that beast of a man.”
“What if they just have a weird roommate, and nobody knows why he’s there?”
“This guy seems super-friendly, and I feel like, [name] is gonna need a positive influence in his life. But also, he’s a federal investigator. He’s gonna need some FBI glasses. Is there something approximating a detective hat?”
“Spin one off the top of the dome.”
“I’ll figure it out!”
“Oh my God, what have we done? You don’t think about the repercussions until you see it in the real world. Look at this tableau!”
“And really, look at these two monstrosities, how could they ever hate each other? They need each other.”
“Now what’s my little perfect boy up to? … He’s sitting on the couch, he’s plotting, he’s planning.”
“If you think about it, he has a third dad and it’s you.”
“Can you move faster, my perfect boy?”
“I forgot that we were gonna be watching everyone use the bathroom.”
“Now, little boy, it’s time for you to get a job.”
“And I think [name]’s gonna keep eating burgers until he dies.”
“What do you want? Go chat with your kids. Go do a kid chat. I gave you a task, I am your God. You chat with boys! Get on there, I wanna see it, I wanna see it, I’m gonna see every word. We’re monitoring your internet activity.”
“Well no, he’s catfishing married women. To send him Pokemon cards.”
“Got twenty-four hours of this, huh?”
“These burgers have been blessed. Look at that: infinite burger!”
“In that one day of life, though, he pissed his pants.”
“How many dads do we need to accrue?”
“Hey, mind if I tickle the ivories for the first time in my life? Anybody?”
“Just walk home, you can’t afford the Uber. In your… bathrobe.”
“Oh, he’s back to catfishing!”
“Can you tear the wall down between there and the bathroom for me?”
“What is going on in this house? This is a bad house.”
“What’s [name] doing? … Ah, leaving.”
“You don’t understand what he means to me.”
“Can you dismiss witnessing death?”
“Nah, no big deal. It happens. Win some, lose some.”
“Scoot over, Grim Reaper.”
“If he dies, I’ll delete my computer.”
“Can we flirt with Death?”
“Get outta here, you! Oh, you’re taking the trash out.”
“Hi, this is gonna seem weird to some of you.”
“He’s crying as he pumps!”
