The Mattress Kingdom

Fuck off.

[coeyjooper-deactivated20170515]

“When I was pregnant with you, this old, homeless, dirty gipsy woman on the lower east side of Manhattan stopped me in the street to tell me that I was having a boy because of how low my stomach was hanging. When I gave birth to a girl, I tried to find the old beggar to tell her that she was wrong & I gave birth to a beautiful girl. 21 years later, I need to go back, find that smelly snaggle toothed troll & tell her she was right all along” - My mother’s words on me being transgender.

[twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck-dea]

THIS IS MASTER MATERIAL FOR A MOVIE

[mitski2020]

[kyrcek]

The Office | 6x24

[gtgcya-archive]

dont let tumblr make you think that...

Old Godzilla was hopping around Tokyo City like a big playground When suddenly Batman burst from the shade And hit Godzilla with a Bat Grenade Godzilla got pissed and began to attack But didn’t expect to be blocked by Shaq Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

[coolman229]

#*sips wine* ah yes #a fine vintage meme

[iran-daily]

Religious scholar Reza Aslan answers CNN’s question, “Does Islam promote violence?”

[visualistic]

This

[berrystumpytail]

An Sjw broke into my room and unplugged my phone charger and now my phone didn't charge over night

[ruinedchildhood]

This is what discrimination looks like

[okay]

DO YOU EVER JUST WANNA SCREAM SO LOUD WHEN YOU TRY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE

[refinery29]

[tepitome]

Obama drops the dad joke of 2015.

[tramampoline]

[thegaythirtysomething]

date someone who will…fuck I don’t know *spins wheel*…make you blueberry pancakes *spins wheel* on wednesday mornings *spins wheel* after you lose at mario kart 

[babil6]

What was wrong with your old HUMAN teeth?

[illegal-skeletons]

I keep getting terrifying emails from colleges

[teashoesandhair]

Emily, we’re coming for you 

[stability]

a man after my own heart

[teesadutta]

[wenthardwenthome]

brain: let's go out and get stabbed!

me: what no why

brain: if we survive we'll get attention and if we die we'll be dead

me: ....actually that's a p good plan

[swarnpert]

my favorite theory about anything ever is that the titanic sank because too many people time traveled to that place to try to stop the titanic from sinking