Official tumblr for "We Once Had Names", a sci-fi, dark humor BL webnovel series. Publishing full chapters and art here.
IF YOU ASK ABOUT COMMISSIONS IN COMMENTS, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I'm tired of that shit.
Well, here's a place I didn't think I'd be back at. Welcome home to me, I suppose XD.
Repurposed this blog to be the landing page for a new series I started called "We Once Had Names". It's a BL, sci-fi series with dark humor, an ensemble cast and possibly some exciting (and occasionally sexy XD) action. Call it "queer Dad-core", watch me fumble how to write about John Wick action scenes or other action oriented situations. XD
"The Anything Store: anything you need, any service you require, for a price."
The Doctor joins a band of mercenaries called The Anything Store, giving them all a highly experimental medical drug for immortality in exchange for his safety. Being a natural born immortal himself, he becomes a part of a very, VERY motley crew, where each member--known only by titles--have a myriad of exceptional skills with which to provide any and all clients with "anything" they need...provided they pay.
A random batch from the last few months. Hopefully the beginning of episode 5 will be up soon. I've had a shitton of hospital visits these days and hopefully it will bear some fruit soon.🙏
I wanted to try a super simplified style, and I called it 4'33", so if you get that, I give you a cookie XD.
Trying to get consistent with PK but the only drawing I seem to do with him are shitposting XD "I asked my twink German boyfriend" cracks me up still.
Doc with the forbidden black hair.
A self-indulgent Doc and Trickster pen study. I used a pen brush and I still suck with it XD. This is for a later episode where they both go under cover as the underground arms dealer Jean Luc Arsenault and his assistant Alain Lenoir. Spyjinks ensue (one day I wanna pay homage to Danger Diabolik and I think Trickster may just be the right vehicle XD)
I sketched it, then went ahead in inks and colors. The misericorde is a little too thin but overall I really like it.
More self-indulgence, but with Gunslinger
I went to the Jollibee-Final Fantasy XIV collab near me and it was very, very busy (poor workers), but I had time to sketch something XD. Techie definitely plays MMOs, prolly has a couple Lalafel alts, and Sniper doesn't play, but Doc doesn't (he prefers playing with PK and the others in Splatoon XD), though if he did, he'd prolly be an Au'ra White Mage.
I tried drawing that 17 box optimal packing image, and Techie's aneurysm.
More Gunslinger practice to try drawing how bulked up he is. Doc approves, but I have a way to go to doing it proficiently XD
Doc doesn't like smoking, but I wanted to try the look (it doesn't suit him much XD)
Another belated birthday cuz health stuff, but happy birthday to PK! Its about a week late since it was supposed to be April 19th ^^;;;;
The hardest thing about PK's images is using his image color @_@. Because it's red, it's hard to draw cute and sweet drawings with red backgrounds without it looking lurid. The background is a little desaturated because of the new sketchbook I'm painting in. It looks ok, I hope ^^;;
PK's the son of a bakery owner so for his date idea, he's making a little fruit and cream cake. I wouldn't say his cake skills are top notch but you definitely won't be seeing them on Cake Wrecks XD;;; The decorating is quite serviceable, but his older sisters Holly and Marigold are the experts. His banh mi and fruit sandos are tops, and you can ask Trickster and Doc regarding the quality. Also, I gotta stop doing front views cuz I struggle bus so hard with the symmetry XD.
Its also hard choosing young men's outfits, so I fell back on a ringer t-shirt, despite the fact I drew him with a raglan last year ^^;;;;, and the cake blocks it, but he's got an apron on, and I think he'd be wearing shorts since its a spring outfit. I really need to sit down and plan out the outfits for the rest of the year. (Good luck with that, Diz)
PK probably goes home more than anyone else because he's still got to keep up the charade of working for a delivery company, rather than a mercenary band. Only a few of the Anything Store boys have families still around (Techie's aunt and uncle mostly, and of course Pilot has his family), so PK is unusually close to his mother and sisters. It's a sticking point between Trickster and him, but PK thinks it's more like nagging than a peer trying to show how hard a double life like this is, especially when Doc enters his life. I wonder how much it will take for PK to realize that his family and Doc are from such wildly different lives that eating your cake and having it too may be beyond his means and wishes.
Happy (Belated) Birthday Sniper! (It was March 12th ^^;;;;; We had house construction in the beginning of the month so I didn't have a workstation for awhile)
Added last year's painting to see them side by side. The background is warmer this time XD;;; The sketchbook I'm putting these all in has slightly different paper. He's probably the only one who doesn't always wear his image color of yellow; it's really only his image color because of his eyes. I have a fondness for yellow-eyed characters who have sharpshooting skills I guess since he's like the 3rd OC to have both of those traits. 😅
Continuing the theme of POV: you're on a date with an Anything Store boy XD, Sniper's serving some drip pressed coffee for the morning sunrise. His enameled cup has shimmer gold watercolor, which I love using but the scanner doesn't always catch. Funnily enough, last year's painting also had shimmer paint too XD.
If you see the original sketch, the outfit was slightly different. I lengthened the sleeves and rolled them up, added the thin scarf, and went with grey and green for the colors, instead of beige and grey. His style seems to me to be outdoorsy and hiking related. Maybe flannels with checker or plaid patterns, and sneakers when he isn't wearing boots (I gave him and PK the converse sneaker trait XD).
When the series starts, and he and Doc did a double birthday in March, it was also the first time he'd celebrated his own birthday in a few years. Being itinerant for the job, Sniper is always on the move, and stopped having the time to visit Techie for his birthday, but it's nice to see he's back to celebrating it now that he's with the Store now. Having new friends definitely makes celebrating a birthday worth it, don't you think?
I decided that I wanted to do a re-draw of this a year later to see how much it might change, but still kept the same idea. When I first started writing WOHN back in late January to February, one of the first images I drew of Doc was this falling one, using a quote by Mutsuo Takahashi:
"Being born into this world means falling from Heaven above, continuously falling as though accelerating in earnest, waiting for a helping hand."
Its an image that evoked the design of Ouse in Fatal Frame 5: Maiden of Black Water, the image of a woman in bridal attire, her kimono fluttering like a flower, falling through black water, and it evoked a similar image of Doc. There was a lot of similarity I wanted to capture; his white coat like a white bridal kimono, his hand reaching up towards the heavens he falls from, and a hand reaching down towards him. The symbology of their hands reaching for once another, Doc desperate to be saved from his fate and helpless to help himself, was something I built into him from the beginning. I wanted to have him be in a place where he wishes for someone to save him, and through the story, learning how to find tools to save himself, but also find people to rely on so he isn't alone.
Doc often has nightmares and dreams of falling, which ties into this image closely, and its the best kind of symbol to evoke his feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. There's nothing to stop his rapid descent, and because its a nightmare, he has no control or idea when he will hit the bottom, and lives with this feeling of suspense and anticipation that has no relief. That kind of tension in your life wears you down, and I like to think that's evident in the first episode , then the second, through to episode three.
I didn't change too much other than trying to nail that falling, reaching pose, but I also sneakily changed one other thing.... Hmmmmm.
Wow guess who forgot to post on Doc's birthday? This girl XD;;;;;; So I'mma catch up a bit and add last year's birthday image and promise not to be so late for the next one (I gotta month, give or take). I'm only like a week late ^^;;;;;; Doc and I share a birthday, 2/12, though he's still younger than me by a couple years.
This year's theme is POV you're on a date with a merc, so Doc of course is out with sweets. I had bingsu for my birthday lunch so of course Doc gets some too. His appears to be mango, strawberry and condensed milk, which are all my favorites in shaved ice (though mine had bits of cheesecake ^^ so divine). I kept the light purple/lavender background for Doc's image color, so it matches the original pic nicely. The pose feels a little bit better in the thumbnail sketch XD;;; but in the end, I really like how it all came together.
This year I'm using a sketchbook instead of loose pages to keep them all together. I do a rough sketch in a different sketchbook, then pencil onto a piece of cardstock so I can have a clean ink to the book without erasing. I did something similar last year though I did a copic marker rough draft (last slide), but this year I streamlined the process a bit. I'm also using dedicated outfits for spring this year...which means I have to design like...10 more outfits for the rest of the Anything Store ^^;;;;.
I mentioned last year that Doc didn't celebrate his birthday until a month later, when Sniper celebrated his (3/12). He never really had a chance to back at the Mansion, which is basically a 20 year stint. I have an outline for that story, so maybe I can finish it while doing the main story. Doc has an Oreo ice cream cake for the first time, that's the part I'm most excited about XD. Doc's consumption of sweets and new food is in direct proportion with his traumatic backstory. Which, if Doc wasn't immortal, self-healing, and...well, fictional, would have a glucose spike that would kill mortal men. Thankfully, I can dump my cravings onto him. XD
It's late, I know, but I abandoned my Husband (outside of meals XD;;) to bang this out in--checks clock--12 hours?? Gawdamn--and other than a few rough panels, I'm pretty happy with it. I put in a few lil lore bits and easter eggs for those following the blog here. For those of you who have been reading, the ending is a sweet callback to episode 4, so that's for you Impossible Ship fans XD I went buck-wild with the washi tape because I like the journal effect and everything, and colors make me happy. Other than the ink hatching style, I only added color with fine liners. I also used the patterns of the tape a little more deliberately, if you pay attention.
Here's the cute journal entry I wanted to use on instagram but it had a character limit and anyway, it's better to put it here. Happy Valentine's Day!
~~~~
9:30 a
A bit early for me. I was informed by the Captain that its Valentine’s Day? I have a rough estimate of what that means, but we had a cup of coffee together so he could explain it to me. He said he likes to have a cup with his late wife’s picture every year. Its quite heartwarming.
10:00 a
Dynamite came to give me my Valentine’s chocolates. They said they spent last night making some for everyone, which explains their late night, now that I think of it. Dynamite makes the most delectable treats, and I was happy to receive them.
They said something about White Day and me returning the favor…. I might need to ask the Captain about this.
11:15 a
Trickster brought me a fresh cup of cà phê sữa đá, or Vietnamese coffee; drip pressed dark roast, sweetened with condensed milk. I admit, the amount of caffiene leaves me buzzing a few hours, but he makes such a delicious cup, its hard to turn it down.
12:35 p-1:00 p
PK arrived to pick me up for lunch, since Ive been in the medbay recording recent data. He also had a box of chocolates, but he said he bought them. Not that I mind that in particular. We stopped by Chef’s place for sandwiches and then sundae’s. He seemed to be happy with it, though I did catch him furtively glancing my way every now and again.
He’s actually quite adorable when he’s trying to be discreet.
3:41 p
Technician came by the medbay to return my heater bot. With the cold weather, I was afraid i was overusing the poor thing to keep my room and medbay warm, but Techie informed me its regular maintenance. Honestly, I think he thinks of the sweet little things as his children or pets.
4:55 p
I find myself snacking on all the treats everyone has left me. I think I might ask Techie to fit a snacks drawer and mini fridge by my desk.
7:45 p
I didn’t want to lose track of time so I wouldn’t be late for dinner with Gunslinger. I must say I’ve been looking forward to this. I enjoy our time together. He makes me feel safe and—goodness, I don’t think this is appropriate for a daily log, so I’ll leave it at that.
8:30 p
Chef had our dinner prepared so it was piping hot when we arrived. It was the first time I had ever had sparkling apple juice; it was much better than champaign or sparkling wine.
10:10 p
I had lost track of time again, but one could hardly fault me. On my way back to my room, in the break room, Sniper had a surprise. A plate of my favorite sandwich cookies and tall glasses of ice cold milk. He hadn’t forgotten his promise of treating me the “proper” way of having the cookies every now and again.
He was right. They were delicious.
Forgot to post the first page when chapter 2 came out, but the one I'm most eager to share was the second page. The angle down pose was a lil tough, and obviously these are sketches from pretty much a year ago when I first started working on it, so the hair is a little different. Paper is thin cuz it's from a modern moleskin 🤷♀️.
Camper design is in flux but I imagine the interior to be similar to a camper from Animal Crossing Pocket Camp XD. Just a curtain dividing the back and front seats, a box for the bed with a drawer underneath it and cabinets on the sides.
Still forever love the line "Even after all that, you're still so fitful, despite being so exhausted. You've been waiting so long to rest that you forgot how to sleep".
Episode 4: The Days Are Long, The Nights Hungry (chap 3)
Rest comes in different forms: sleep, respite, self-care. And 39 hours can be an eternity and a short breath between blinks. Doc and Sniper have all the time in the world to figure out what they want and what they need.
But the first thing they'll need is sleep.
~~~~~
Sleepless: Chap 3
The gunman blinked a few times, then thought about it. He hadn’t heard the Doctor actually call him anything else but Sniper. He hadn’t actually corrected him the entire night either.
“Oh,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. He chuckled. “Yeah. It is. But no one calls me that.” He motioned for Doc to go back to the camper and opened the driver’s side door. When Doc sat in the passenger seat, he let out another chuckle.
“What?”
“Well, I’ve been calling you Doc…but that isn’t really your name, is it?”
“On the contrary,” Doc said, shrugging and crossing his arms loosely as he leaned back into the chair. “It is my name. I wasn’t called anything else the entire time I was at the Facility.”
Sniper let out a rueful snort. “Surely, you had a name before Surgeon got you, right? Or doesn’t he have a real name neither?”
Doc leaned his head back against the window and was quiet for a long time. “He has one. I was the only one who used to use it.”
Sniper saw his body stiffen slightly, and decided to stop pressing that matter. Yet, his curiosity for the Doctor was still unsatisfied.
“So. Everyone just…called you Doctor at the old place,” he said. “No questions?”
“That’s correct.”
How uncomfortable. He rolled the idea in his head like a pencil on a desk.
“The Doctor is who I am, though. So to be fair, it’s a more accurate name than anything else I’ve had.”
Sniper felt another pang in his chest. That was why Doc so easily let go of that watch, that symbol of an old life. He’d already let go of his old identity so many years ago.
That didn’t feel right. But he couldn’t bring himself to press him further. A part of him feared pushing Doc away from him, making him close himself off. Even as passive as Doc acted, there was always a possibility that something would hit his limit, whatever it may be. It was none of his business, to be honest, and this tenuous companionship they shared in this moment could shatter or snap. Why he worried so much about it, on the other hand, was unusual. But he pushed that to the back of his head with the rest of the ordeals they’d gone through.
He’d have time enough later to untangle everything. When they weren’t so worried about being dragged back or worse.
“…It was Felix.”
Had it been anyone else, he’d have barely heard Doc whisper it. As if that old identity bubbled up to the surface of a quiet, still pond, and reached out. The old Doc was down there somewhere, and, for a moment, met the present one. Then he was gone.
“Felix?”
He nodded. Glanced at the gunman with his lilac-lavender eyes sadly. “I’d honestly almost forgotten it.”
Sniper gave him a small, encouraging smile back. “Like the cat?”
The lilac eyes clouded in confusion. “Cat?”
He laughed to mask his pity because this went beyond sheltered. He was downright isolated. Isolated from the world outside, isolated from the other staff, and isolated—most painfully—from who he used to be before he became the Doctor.
“It’s a character. I’ll show you when we get back home. Uh, well, back in the states I mean.”
“Oh. Ok.” Doc sighed and stared without focus at the ceiling of the camper. “….is Lex exclusive…to your friend?”
“Yeah, kinda. Everyone before I got this job called me Alex. But it's been a long time since I used it.” He chuckled quietly. “I guess it’s kinda like you. I’m called what I am.”
“Do you mind if I keep calling you Sniper?”
Sniper shrugged. “I mean…loads of people do actually call me that. So I don’t mind. Do you want me to call you Doc still?”
Doc nodded and gave a rueful exhalation. “You’re probably the only one who ever called me that. …I like it.” A tiny smile of fondness graced Doc’s lips briefly.
That felt right, for once in the insanity of the situation. It felt right.
~~~~
A few hours to kill, they were somewhat fed (barely), and they were uncovering unpleasant and lost things about themselves. All things considered, Sniper and Doc could be worse off. Of course things could be much, much better, but they wouldn’t even be here now if that were the case.
They drank some more tea, occasionally stepped outside to get fresh air, stretch their legs or relieve themselves, and staved off the exhaustion to nap. They moved from the front seats to the back in idle boredom when being outside was off the table. Despite the size of the vehicle, moving back and forth was natural to the Doctor now.
He was back to note taking, though a lot of it was mainly him writing and long pauses of him staring off into an unseen distance. He wasn't as voracious in his questioning of Sniper's experience as he had been earlier, but it wasn't as if Sniper didn't have questions, and rightly so. Doc explained the "normal" things to expect while on the drug when Sniper asked. It was mainly the accelerated healing, and immunity to most diseases. Everything else was the roll of the dice.
"You're telling me enhanced hearing and stuff...that doesn't always happen?" he asked, puzzled.
Doc nodded with a small frown. "They do, however, not always to the same degree. Many other side effects and enhancements vary wildly subject to subject."
"That sounds wildly inefficient...like I figured someone like Surgeon bragging about medical genius woulda ironed that out by now." The gunman crossed his arms and bounced his leg aimlessly. It was a habit Doc noticed when Sniper was chatting or waiting. He had a bored yet restless energy.
Doc sighed. "Normally I would say you're right. And in fact many other pharmaceuticals made by the Family are much more tightly controlled and have very direct outcomes. But the immortality serum just...works differently. A great many of our medicines and treatments don't have such wild variation, but the narrower the scope, the more controlled outcomes we get."
Our. We. It'd been only a day, so he couldn't have expected Doc to start changing how he referred to himself now that he was no longer a part of Surgeon's world. But it still bothered him that Doc still so automatically associated himself with the Family.
Doc watched Sniper watching him. He sighed again. "I know you don't believe it, and you shouldn't, after everything we've gone through, but...the Family has done a lot of good with their medicines over the years. I wouldn't go as far as say they're responsible for miracles...but a great many treatments have been synthesized from this base formula."
"Miracles, huh?"
Doc could hear the bitterness. There was a part of him that wanted to defend his work, yet, at the end of the day, Doc never felt proud of it. Not when it had ended so many lives, and ruined far more others, present company included.
"Sorry. I mean...I've prolly had something of theirs at some point in my life," Sniper said, shrugging. "Like an anti-biotic or cough syrup."
"Perhaps. Most of the treatments are for more serious conditions, but I won't pretend to know all the variations Surgeon has ever had a hand in."
They were silent again, thinking about the idea of a drug so harmful still having some good in the world.
"I wish I had a more definitive answer," Doc said softly. "It's almost supernatural sometimes, the way the extra abilities come to people who need or use them the most." He scooted back onto the bedroll, to lean against the wall, crossing his legs. Picked nervously at the dirt patches and small holes in his slacks. Kept his gaze low.
Sniper sensed there was more, but as curious as he was, he didn't press.
"There's also a chance that you'll gain new ones. Abilities, I mean." Doc looked up finally. "Like for instance, increasing your stamina. A higher tolerance for lactic acid maybe. Your skin getting a little bit more resistant. Or the ability to hold your breath for up to 30 minutes. Or even something as mundane as a sharpening of your sense of taste."
The gunman made a face. "That's...uh...mental. Absolutely bananas. Will any of them wear off?"
"They don't tend to. If they change in intensity, it's from other factors. Like your night vision. That doesn't always manifest right away, sometimes it takes time. But it seems like yours developed almost immediately."
Sniper thought back. He could recall with clarity how the operating room was even after the lights went out. Even accounting for what he was assuming his now more reliable memory, he remembered Doc fumbling around in the room while he was able to beeline for his discarded shoes. That was from the get-go.
"Yeah." He shook his head in disbelief. "Mental."
Doc gave a long look at the refrigerator. Sniper followed his gaze.
"I have 7," he said quietly.
The gunman nodded. "What are you planning to do with them?"
He was quiet a long time. "I don't know. Perhaps I should destroy them."
The other man frowned. "So you're...not gonna give them to someone else or sell them?"
"Certainly not!" Doc retorted, louder than he expected. He started at his own forceful reply.
Sniper gave him a worried gaze. "Yeah. But you still brought them with you. Wouldn't it be a waste?"
Doc opened his mouth, closed it, then let his gaze flick aimlessly in thought. He hadn't given much thought to what he was going to do with the rest of his formula. All he knew was that it wasn't going back to Surgeon's hands. He would do everything he could to avoid that.
But for now, they sat, cooled in the fridge, untouched.
Doc pulled his knees to his chest again. He leaned his forehead against them and let out a long sigh.
"I'm so tired," he whispered. He knew Sniper could hear him but he kept his voice low because he didn't want to admit it aloud to himself.
Sniper leaned over his knees, clasping his fingers loosely. What was there to say? What was there to do in that case?
"We need sleep," he said, sighing. "But I know that isn't an option."
"Later on, it will be," Doc said, still curled into his knees. He took a long, slow inhale, then exhaled and lifted his head. His eyes were a bit more focused, despite the circles beneath his eyes and the still languid line of his shoulders.
He's trying so damn hard, thought Sniper, his eyebrows contorting in dismay. How long can he keep this up?
"We must be getting to the next call window soon." The Doctor scooted to the edge of the bedroll and slid off to leave out the back. "We can at least look forward to that. I'm going to stretch my legs again."
As he shimmied out from the covered doors, Sniper sighed and leaned back until his head bumped lightly into the wall behind him. Staring at the dingy ceiling of the camper, listening to a surprisingly lively forest and the sounds of Doc wandering about in the cold February afternoon. Time trickled by like a tiny stream, and Sniper was thirsty for a change.
~~~~
It was about 3 pm when Sniper went back out and did his routine for restoring and opening his phone. When the timers went off for the call, he tapped his friend's contact with gusto.
It rang once before he picked up. "Lex?"
"I'm here."
"Awesome. Hang on." There was a brief silence as Doc inched over to look at the phone before a small video screen popped up. Sniper, automatically, opened his camera and frowned at his unflattering angle before raising the phone to be more at eye level. His friend's room was dark, lit with odd, electronic light; the round face of a man sitting with a headset at a chair took up part of the space. The camera seemed to be situated just below him, as if it were propped up or on a stand. A friendly face, perhaps a bit heavyset, head of almost fluffy blond hair. Blue eyes, or rather, one of them was blue. Sniper blinked in surprise at the left one, which looked as if it was glowing with a teal light amid a black sclera.
His friend's shock registered to the blond when he finally glanced over and saw his friend's expression. "Ah. This thing...uh, look, we'll chat about it later, ok?" He tapped his cheek below the eye and went back to furiously typing at his keyboard.
"Right," the gunman said, giving a fleeting glance at Doc who didn't seem to notice anything amiss. And why would he? It was his first time seeing him face to face, so to speak. He angled the phone so Doc could fit into the frame.
"This your new friend?" he asked amiably. There was a small smile on his face.
"That's him. His name is Doc."
"Howdy," replied the blond, tipping an imaginary hat at him. Doc waved and dipped his head a little in greeting, feeling shy. "I'm the Technician. Techie for short."
"Pleased to meet you," Doc said, bobbing his head slightly again.
"Still in the same place? No trouble?"
"None so far," said Sniper, glancing around.
"Good. Trick said he hasn't heard anything yet, so maybe they're trying to bury this instead of launching an all out search for you."
"Silver lining." He didn't bother asking who this "Trick" was at the moment. "Whatcha got for us?"
Techie glanced at the camera and kept typing. "Pilot and Cap kin extract you boys and the camper, but we need a lil time cuz it's a lil hot where you are."
"All right. How long?"
The blond man winced. " 'Bout 2 days." He gave them both a rueful look.
"2 days???"
"39 hours technically. You tell me last week you need to fly you and the camper to Germany, n' yesterday I hear something big goes down in Warstein but it's super hush-hush. Cant exactly move shit around and not attract attention to us if we extract, ‘specially with the size of the craft I gotta get."
It made sense, so Sniper made a lil scoffing noise. "Pft. Ok, I guess you have a point."
"Not exactly cheap neither, but doncha worry your pretty lil heads over that. It's not as if we're hurtin' in the budget for emergencies around here. And besides, it's also not like the boss can say no to me these days." He chuckled, and it was a deep, resonating sound. Easy-going and friendly, despite the situation.
“About that. We could use a new job." Sniper sighed and gave him a sheepish smile. The other man raised an eyebrow, cocking his head slightly. "So I’m calling in the favor. Finally.”
Another deep chuckle came from Techie as he leaned one arm on the desk and got closer to the camera. “…I think my boss could use a couple guys.”
“Now that's what I wanna hear.”
"It's been what I've been wantin' to hear for years, son." He glanced at a screen off to the side and sighed. He motioned with his finger in the air, a stirring motion. "Better wrap this up, nearly outta time. You're still wiping and keeping this off between calls?"
"Yep."
"Good. I'll check back in at 6am your time."
"We'll be in touch." They ended the call, and he took a few minutes meticulously wiping the phone again as Doc looked up at the sky between the towering trees.
"Almost there," Sniper said softly. He stood behind him, his shoulder grazing Doc's as they both gazed heavenwards.
"Almost," Doc responded softer. He shivered as a gust of wind swept in. "Almost."
It had the timbre of hope, and it was nice to hear it in Doc's voice. He had a feeling it was rare.
~~~~
A little after 5pm, Sniper could see Doc getting antsy again. Sniper had his nervous energy habits: bouncing his leg gently, tapping his fingers on his leg. Blowing air between his lips in a whistling nature without actually whistling. Doc's had a different display. He would look around more, repeatedly looking at Sniper or his watch, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together, frowning before his face settled back into its usual neutral, deadpan look. He was in his notebooks more than once, reading and rereading the pages.
When he would glance at him, he got the feeling Doc was looking for some sort of approval, a go ahead. His eyes were curious, but they didn't like to be stared at for long periods. He broke gazes quicker. Even when Sniper asked him, Doc never had an answer, often struggling to find something to say. Something between wanting to ask, and wanting to hide something, near as he could figure.
After setting another kettle to boil for tea, he came up to the front seats with Doc. Finally, gently, he pointed at his watch--Doc's old, broken one, actually--and tipped his head. "It's...a little after 5 now...right?"
Doc nodded but that didn't seem to be what he was worried about.
He tried a more direct approach. "Is there something else bothering you...?"
Doc opened and closed his mouth a few times. Another one of Doc's restless habits, when he was searching for what he wanted to say, but didn't want to say the whole thing.
"I feel fine," he reassured.
"Really?" Doc turned to face him, his hands resting on a blank page, his pen in his fingers. "I mean...do you really...honestly feel ok?"
"What are you worried about me feeling?" he asked, tipping his head again.
Doc's gaze dropped to the book. "I...I don't know." He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. At the end of it, he looked at Sniper steadily. He held the look longer than he usually did.
"I...I guess I'm more worried...about everything that even when I can see nothing is wrong...I'm just...."
"Just waiting for the other shoe to drop, huh?"
The phrase threw Doc off. "What??"
"You're waiting for something to go wrong even when things are going right."
"Yes. That's it." He rubbed his index finger on the page restlessly. "I suppose...it's been awhile since I'd been so worried for a patient that I can scarcely feel at ease."
He gave him a small frown. "Prolly cuz...well, I'm kinda your only way outta here."
"Not just that," Doc said, rushing. His hands waved at him. "...Its just..." He turned to the window of the passenger side, shutting the book and capping the pen. His gaze fixed onto the pattern of the vehicle cover.
"I'm...quite fond of your...company."
Sniper's heart skipped a small beat. He blinked, feeling his cheeks flush ever so slightly.
"And...and I don't want anything to happen to you," Doc finished, his voice barely a whisper. His head turned ever so slightly towards him, but not enough to glance at him sidelong. The tips of his ears were faintly pink. "I didn't want anything to happen to you...I suppose that's why I even tried to run again."
Flabbers gasted. Sniper wasn't sure how to take all this. But he didn't deny, the first time he'd seen Doc through the scope the night before he was caught, that there was some sort of pull he felt. Something magnetic in the lilac eyes that he wasn't sure came from. The first time something like hesitation closed over him and froze him solid.
"I hope that's not too forward," Doc said, turning to him finally, his eyes chastised.
Trying to play it cool, Sniper shook his head and crossed his arms across his chest in what he hoped was nonchalance. "Nah...nah...not at all." His voice cracked slightly and he cursed the timing of it.
Doc didn't notice so his face bloomed in relief. He gave him a small smile. The kettle clicked and Sniper stood up to head back there a touch too quickly, nearly tangling in the curtain divider. Doc watched him fumble with the tea bags in the mugs curiously. When he was sure his hands would stop shaking--why were they shaking now of all times, thought the gunman--he brought the mugs back and handed one off to Doc.
Sniper scalded his tongue again sipping the tea, but he tried not to make that obvious.
I'm quite fond of your company.
Was that all? Or was there something more? Did he want something more? Should there be something more? What more did he expect?
Or want?
Doc stared at his rippling reflection in the mug. Blew gently at the steam but didn't sip. Was he asking for something unreasonable of Sniper? Sure, at the moment, he needed him more than anything. But once they were safe, miles away from Surgeon's grasp, what then? The 39 hours between now and extraction seemed both long and not long enough. 39 hours before Doc had to make a decision. Even accounting for travel time, which also would likely take nearly a day, time still marched on, like the trickling of sand in an hourglass.
What would happen to the two of them once they made it stateside? What did he want once he was safe? Or at least safer than he was right now.
It made his stomach churn uneasily. Doc resented this unrelenting passing of time, despite the fact he'd been long wishing for time to move. It stagnated in the Mansion, in the labs; a festering wound. But now it was rushing too fast, looming like a wave.
"I'm...kinda...uh..." Sniper fumbled, swirling his tea in his mug gently. He kept his eyes on the cup.
Doc looked up at him, sidelong.
"When we get back...I mean, out of here." He stopped swirling, and wished his mouth would also stop. But Doc was looking at him so he kept going. "You're...gonna need someone to watch out for you. I figure."
He hadn't considered that. Or rather he did, but he didn't want to admit that to Sniper.
"You mind if I keep...y'know. Keep...doing that...for...you?" Each word kept getting quieter until the last was barely a mumble.
Doc blinked at him. "...What do you mean?"
"Never mind," Sniper said, shaking his head. He downed half the still piping hot cup and winced. He tried to stifle a cough then nodded at the dashboard clock. "Uh. About the time limit thing...?"
The white-haired man blinked a few more times before he realized what he meant. The deadline of observation for Sniper. "A-ah...? Oh." He took a few sips from the tea and opened his notebook. An uneasy silence came over them as Doc set the mug on the dashboard and flipped through his notes. Despite his impeccable handwriting, Doc had to read the pages more than once before he sighed and leaned back in his chair, shutting the book again. Shut his eyes. Closed one hand over the spine of the book. Draped his other across his face, over his glasses.
Sighed very, very slowly.
"You're absolutely certain...you feel mentally stable? And you don't feel at all out of sorts?"
Sniper nodded. "Absolutely."
Doc let his hand drop to his lap, languidly turned his head to him with a look of utter exhaustion, tinged with the barest of hopes, yet still obviously full of anxiousness.
"Then...I'm positive you're going to be just fine."
Sniper gave him a small, rueful smile and nodded. "Good. Now...I think it's time you got some rest."
"Nein. You take a nap first. I can watch you for a few hours. Just to make sure."
Oh hell no. The gunman's face hardened slightly in sternness. He wasn't going to let this man remain awake and running on the fumes of fumes if he could help it now.
"This isn't up for debate. You're 3 steps from keelin' over. You're taking the first nap." He reached over and gently took the notebook from his weak grip and just as gently pulled him by the arm. "In the back you go."
Reluctantly, Doc allowed him to lead him to the bedroll and sit on it. Sniper picked up the one pillow he had and set it at the head of the bed. Patted it twice. Doc looked down at it, then back at him. His body was beginning to listen but his anxiety as stubborn as ever. He shook his head.
"Sniper, I'm f--"
Without much ceremony, he reached over and gave Doc a light push on his shoulder. Doc felt his body wobble and he steadied himself on Sniper's arms. He frowned.
"Doc, I swear on God if you don't fucking lay down, I'mma lay you out myself." His voice was stern, though it bore the edges of concern. He eased Doc into lying down finally, and then slid his glasses off his face. Weakly, the Doctor attempted to reach for them, and he held them aloft and gingerly pushed his hand to the bed. He folded them up and set them next to it.
His yellow eyes softened, pleading. "I'm beggin' you. Please. Just...just rest for a couple hours."
The pillow was softer than he expected. He blinked at him, half-lidded. Lilac eyes asking for permission. And it killed him.
"You're allowed to rest, Doc. You're allowed to sleep. So please." He gently closed his eyes with his calloused fingertips. Lingered them over his eyelids for a few seconds before letting go. Doc's eyes stayed shut, though his breathing wasn't slowing down or deepening. The white-haired man could feel him standing there, watching, but thankfully his eyelids felt too heavy to protest.
"I'll stay up. But you just try to rest. Even if you just sit there with your eyes closed." He stood back up and pushed the curtain aside so he could see him. "I'll take care of everything else."
He settled into the driver's seat and leaned back with a long sigh. Doc echoed the sigh as he shifted against the pillow sleepily.
"I'll take care of everything," he mumbled as he stared at the ceiling. "If it's the only thing I'm good for."
~~~~
7:45 pm. It was dark beneath the vehicle cover, darker still when he turned off the rest of the lights in the camper and stepped back out into the winter night. It'd been a long while since his last smoke, so he leaned against the side of the covered camper and lit up. He expected the taste to be sharper, or different, but he didn't seem to notice anything extraordinary, fortunately.
Inhale. Exhale. He took care of the ash amid the forest floor. Let his eyes grow accustomed to the rapidly dimming light, still marveling at his newfound night vision.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Gusts of winds, rustling of the trees. Fading bird song. Small animals moving about.
Inhale.
A thin, quiet groan.
Ex...hale.....
Doc groaned again, then it was silent. He turned his head ever so slightly, listening closer.
Inhale. Exhale.
Doc inhaled. Exhaled. After a few breaths, Sniper realized he was syncing his breathing to Doc's.
Inhale. Inhale.... Exhale. Exhale....
His heart wasn't a resting bpm. Neither was Sniper's, but the difference was that he was wide awake on purpose.
He nursed the cigarette restlessly, neither rushing nor savoring it. Doc was quiet again, breathing deeply. The novelty of being about to hear heartbeats didn't unsettle the gunman as much as it had initially. The distance for how sharp it was still a lot of grapple with, and if he thought about it too long, the memory of that night came back to him all too vividly. He'd been trying to ignore how...intimate it felt. Being able to hear someone's heart beat, the rhythm changing with emotions or situations, as well as hearing someone's breathing was too intensely intimate on a level he never wanted.
He wanted to ignore it. He trained his ears to listen for other sounds. Things like multiple vehicles or helicopters. Such air noises were usually pretty faint but they were deeper into the woods with a canopy of trees overhead. The vehicle cover should be enough to fool anyone looking, cameras or live human eyes. He remembered the single helicopter on the roof landing space at the Mansion. Didn't think anything of it until they were on the road. Helicopters never used to give him the edgy nervousness they did now. The skies were quiet. For the time being.
He put the end of the cigarette out on a small patch of ground he cleared with the toe of his boot. Made sure it was extinguished completely, then picked it up and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans.
Leave nothing but footsteps (never prints).
Take only memories. Even the horrifying ones.
Kill nothing but time. Well, too late for that.
He took a walk to clear his head, in as much as he could clear it. Birds perched in the trees overhead, watching him. Kept the distance close enough to be sprintable. Circled the area a few times, widening each time.
Literally spiraling.
He realized the irony, grit his teeth in annoyance and wandered back. Listened for Doc and heard a resting breathing rhythm. It relaxed him a little. Entered from the front driver's seat and shut the door quietly.
"Are you sleeping?" he asked, knowing he wasn't.
He heard Doc groan and murmur. So, he was half asleep. That was an improvement. He leaned to look into the back and saw Doc shifting, curling into himself. He saw the barest of shivers.
"You're cold, aren't you?" asked Sniper, mostly to himself. He quietly moved to the bedroll, and fished a thin, but fuzzy blanket from the bed drawer. The faux fur was pilling, and had a faded brown image of what looked to be a bear in a forest. He pulled it over him, his hands lingering on it as he drew it over his shoulders.
Doc groaned thinly, one hand brushing against his as he clutched the blanket and pulled it closer. Sniper frowned at how cold his hands were. He put one hand over Doc's. Ice cold. The hand twitched, then relaxed. He shifted, his face lightly wincing. His lips were moving but even with his hearing, he didn't hear him say anything.
Sniper sat on the small space at the top of the makeshift bed, just above the pillow Doc was sleeping on. His yellow eyes gazed down at his restless sleep. His long fingers gently brushed through the curls of his white hair, clearing the tiny bits of leaves from the fall and fight last night.
"Even after all that…you're still so fitful, despite being so exhausted," he said to no one but himself. Doc shifted again, fingers flexing, twitching in some unseen nightmare. He then rested his hand atop his head just as gently. Doc's hair was as fine and soft as it looked.
"You've been waiting so long to rest that you forgot how to sleep, huh Doc?"
A fitful rest wasn't unfamiliar to Sniper. He'd had plenty of them before. He wondered how many Doc had to weather over the years. He leaned back against the wall of the camper, stroking Doc's hair aimlessly until he heard his breath and heart quicken. Looking down, he saw Doc grasp at the pillow, wincing, his lips moving soundlessly. He was about to gently wake him when Doc's eyes snapped open.
His gaze was unfocused for a few seconds, but his expression was that of fear. He struggled to sit up, and started when Sniper helped him. For a moment, he didn't seem to recognize him before blinking and realizing who he was.
The gunman's eyes were full of pity as Doc composed himself. "Nightmare?"
Doc caught his breath, a hand balling up the front of his shirt. He nodded and shifted to sit up. He blinked at the blanket curiously, then looked around the camper.
"I...I suppose I'd forgotten where I was for a moment," he explained softly. He rubbed his eyes and found his glasses.
He drew his legs up, rested his arms across his knees, and buried his head against them. Sniper could hear his breathing and his heart. He didn't have to strain to hear it. Troubled. Exhausted.
The gunman inhaled and exhaled, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Inhale. Exhale. Echoing Doc. Eventually the Doctor sighed, slid back down to lay on his back, and removed his glasses again. Draped his hand across his eyes, shutting them. He was trying, that much was clear.
"It's too quiet," Doc said softly. "Yet...yet I know it isn't for you."
Such a heavy weight to the words. Sniper learnt early in his career that the weight of guilt wasn't worth carrying on his shoulders. But not everyone could so cleanly excise guilt from their actions, and the least of all was Doc.
"It's manageable right now." He didn't want to burden him with a reminder of his enhanced senses right now. "I'm learning to tune the unneeded things out."
"Still. I'm sorry."
"You've hit your allotted apologies for the day," Sniper said gently, chuckling. "So none'a that for the rest of the night."
Doc nodded listlessly. "I just wish I could rest."
Something struck Sniper, and he gently got back up and went rummaging under the bed. He pushed aside some of his clothes and pulled out a small keyboard. Doc rolled to his side to watch as he sat on the locker across from him. The gunman flipped a few little switches then pressed the keys. It was a piano, or at least an electric keyboard that sounded like one. Its small speaker was surprisingly powerful, radio-like but without the static.
Resting the instrument across his knees, Sniper flexed his long fingers and started to play something improvisational to warm up. Doc was now watching him with a spark of interest. He paused, adjusted the volume, then started to play something a little more somber. A little more relaxing, lullaby-like.
"….what is that?" he asked. Despite his restlessness, Doc could feel the notes lull him into a more relaxed state.
"Bach. Parita No 2. Sinfonia." He played effortlessly, as if it was something he'd practiced many times. His eyes flicked from Doc to the keys in an easy-going manner. "One of my favorites."
Doc listened, eyes half-shut. "….its very beautiful."
"It is, isn’t it? I've always wanted to perform it. Never worked out. Most people just want to listen to other things, upbeat things." His fingers danced lightly over the keys. Doc's lavender eyes watched them sleepily.
"I didn't know you were a pianist." He gave the gunman a tired, yet pained smile. "And to risk Garand Thumb with this kind of talent." Even though the immortality drug took care of his injuries, the cracked and bruised thumb remained. It was in Doc's notes, but had no explanation yet.
The pianist chuckled. "Amateur really. Hobbyist at best. Never got to perform outside of bars really. And it’s not the kinda venue for classical, as you’d expect."
The Doctor listened, shutting his eyes. Music had been rare in the Mansion, and the Labs were always silent. Doc once had a record player, but it had been broken years before. He could scarcely recall the music on the few records he was given, and they were unlabeled in any case. There was a familiarity to the song Sniper was playing but Doc didn't recognize it, and probably wouldn't have even by name.
The newly fallen snow-like silence wrapped around them. There were times the song was tender and lulling; other times, gently lively and playful. Doc listened in this contented silence.
His voice broke it softly. "Quite beautiful." It was a tender, reverent whisper.
"Bach was a master."
Doc shook his head gently. "I mean. The way you play it. It’s very...beautiful."
Sniper watched as Doc's chest rose and fell, sleep finally taking him to where he belonged. The barest of smiles crossed his lips.
"That’s mighty kind of you to say," he said just as hushed and quiet.
Eyes not leaving the now--finally--slumbering Doctor as his fingers led the way through the song. When he finished, he started another. Dubussy's Arabesque No 1. Then Kreisler's Liebesleid. Scriabin's Etude Op. 8 No 12. Mozart's Lacrimosa. Even when he was sure Doc was deep asleep, he kept playing, because it had been so long since he had last laid fingers against ivories.
And the music welcomed him back like an old friend in the way the stars and the rifle hadn't yet.
Well hello to the merc I've drawn the least lmao. I didn't finish his original character sheet (other half started pages are Assassin, Surgeon, Handler, Huntsman, and Liaison), but he's also a retired member of the team. I included all his sketches here because I hadn't shared them anywhere yet. My bestie actually helped me choose a hairstyle for him so I thank him for the input.
Pilot gets a much weaker version of Doc's formula so his immortality is much weaker than the rest. But since he's rarely on the front lines anymore, the most he had to worry about is his precious daughter running him ragged on the weekends XD. For all the fathers and father figures in the series, Pilot gets to actually be one and enjoy it. As i've said before, he gets the happy ending first and before everyone else because I think its good to highlight that a happy ending can come from the underground, but only if you do it right. Perhaps it's a little cruel to Trick and PK, but, ah well. Someone has to do it.
My favorite thing that did change from the beginning is that anytime he does appear, I always have him saying some Death Flag shit just for the drama of it. Closest he gets to that is Episode 6 on extraction but bah, that's ok. XD Having Sniper and Doc take another death in his place is part of the irony and humor of it all. But yeah, all this talk of "I can't wait to see my wee lass after this" or "The missus and I have an anniversary this week, so let's finish this up quick, yeah?" just goes by the way side cuz he isn't gonna die anytime soon XD. Let this man enjoy retirement. He has his own worries too, and arcs that explore that, what with worrying about PK's family or about Cap and his responsibilities. I can see Pilot's family getting close to PK's since they both have young children who mean very much to their respective family members. Even in the Apartment AU, he's still a pillar of cheeriness and experience when Cap isn't available.
But let's just enjoy the fact this silver fox has a family to go home to. Cuz you gotta squeeze happiness out wherever you can tap it.
Its sad but I don't have as many sketches of Dynamite as I'd like, and it honestly comes down to the singular factor that I wanna draw them in all sorts of outfits but I can never choose XD;;;; They're supposed to have the largest wardrobe but I can never choose if I wanna draw something techwear/warcore inspired or cute and androgynous and stylish. Not that I would want to attempt an Outfit August for each merc but maybe Dyna would have also been a good choice next to Doc.
There's also the idea of having different facemasks and I can never choose a pattern. I have a few "easy to draw" ones, but I really do need to pick more patterns and designs (I like the "your momma" one tho XD). I really never defined their bomb suit either. So maybe I need to just hunker down and make lots and lots of outfits and face masks. I also wanna do an outfit with the full-face helmet. I think that would look super cool if Sniper had one too. I also need to draw the mascot suit WAY MORE. The red panda suit has light up eyes and stuff XD.
There was a spoiler I removed from the scan, but, like Doc, they're a little different than the rest of the cast. It explains why their hair is entirely white post-drug, and the color of their eyes as well. They're also mixed race ethnically as well, sharing that with me: mexican-filipino. I kinda put a bit of myself in Dyna as much as I put into Doc by that consequence.
One of the things that didn't change too much was speaking the least, and having a deeper voice than you'd expect. They still are pyrokenetic, and telekinetic, which makes setting off bombs, grenades and most explosions on delay much easier. Their name went through a lot of changes until I settled on Dynamite. Like PK, it's more like an aspect of their job as a trap layer than a name of the role they have. Also as an Ultraman fan, I liked naming them after a very beloved Ultra XD.
They have a bunch of different, otherworldly abilities that make them pretty indispensable to bigger missions and heists. They would have been a lot of help in episode 6, that's for sure XD;;; Holding their breath for an obscene amount of time, and regrowing limbs when the others can't also makes them a powerhouse as well. Of course, vaporization and destruction of most of the body from explosives still would kill them, but that's why they're so careful. They really are all-purpose!
Dyna suffers from a lot of loneliness for being different; an orphan from a young age, having odd fire powers, always hiding their face. They suffer from a fear of the afterlife, because they don't know if they'll have one. They also don't like to make friends (prior to joining the Store) because they dislike goodbyes. Taking a chance on the drug when they have the most risk gave Doc pause but Dyna trusted him in a way they hadn't trusted anyone before. Securing an immortal legacy gave them much more of a freedom that they were searching for. They're thankful to Doc for that (Doc's relationship chart states that they have a very strong trust in each other). They have a lot in common together, and probably would be closer if Doc wasn't so...uh, curious about Dyna's extra, natural abilities XD;;; You know Doc and his toxic curiosity XD.
I definitely want to draw them more though. Their Apartment AU has a v-tuber persona I really want to design XD.
The hardest character I've ever designed and had to draw so much and I still don't think I quite got him right. Captain is everything that I can't do in general with Gunslinger and then add on top of all of that the singular fact I have to draw him in his 50s, and that's my biggest struggles with Cap. Its why you likely won't see many sketches here cuz I hadn't even doodled him all that much in the journal planner. In fact, the only cast member who has LESS sketches and art of him is Pilot because he was developed much later.
I cannot draw this old fox consistently. I admit that. I even sourced a drawing book for "How to Draw Ojisan" specifically for him. I cannot for the life of me draw older men as elegantly or handsome of Natsume Ono, whom was my biggest inspiration for Cap--specifically Ono's work on Ristorante Paradiso/Gente. HOW DO YOU DRAW ATTRACTIVE, HANDSOME OLD MEN??? I actually finished Dyna's sheets before coming back to finish Cap's despite the fact I started Cap's first. "Reed Richards mofo" indeed XD!!!
He's probably the farthest from his source material in personality, skills, experience, and overall design. We don't know his old name (I didn't mention this in Gunslinger's post but we don't know his name either since Gunslinger has had amnesia since he was a young teen), but documents suggest he has used the name James Donner before. Once he was inducted into OSS, the former middle school teacher ceased to exist. When he left OSS, that's when he adopted a different name and got married. He's a widower (wife died of lung cancer a couple decades ago), which is why he sorts of gets along with Trickster XD;;;
His drug abilities and side effects never were defined clearly from the outset, so I kinda added to them as I went along. He possesses a very strong psychometry (developed from when he was given a weaker, older form of the immortality drug when he entered OSS), is the most perceptive member of the Store next to Trickster, and has a body of military experience to back it up. Something he inherited from me is the fact he had scars on his left hand that I also have (an oval one near his thumb and one on his index finger that has minor nerve damage). Like PK, Sniper, Trickster and Gunslinger, most of his scars never healed on Doc's formula.
I wanted a strong and likable leader character. Originally I planned for most of the mercenary groups to have a Handler or Liaison to facilitate jobs. But Cap seemed to be able to handle all of that on his own so I dropped Handler and Liaison to be part of a Receptionist Guild instead. It just seemed to me that Cap would be able to handle all of these logistics because he has all these connections. I'd imagine Doc's safety is predicated on the fact he's under Cap's wing, which is why Surgeon plays games more than seriously trying to get Doc back. The Disappointed Dad Aura thing also kinda only happens when I need it to happen, but look at him. Do you want him to be disappointed in you??
My favorite detail about him is that he's always messing up phrase and colloquialisms. More than spoonerisms, malaphors, malapropisms, or mondegreens. He will just smash phrases together that only somewhat make sense or make none at all; "two wrongs don't make a left turn", "we'll burn those bridges when we get to them", etc. I love it. It's one of my favorite things about him, and no one knows if he does it on purpose or not (he was a history teacher, not an english teacher XD).
This is the father figure the men look up to (even Trick). He made a promise to his late wife to take care of himself because he's always put others before himself. And that's the biggest reason he volunteers--well, actually he demands gently--to take Doc's formula first. First and foremost, to show how much he trusts Doc and wants his men to trust him too, but also because he knew his limits. He isn't young anymore and is one of the older members of the team; he can't put himself in their places without it. And he would never ask his men to do something he wouldn't. Perhaps he has come to terms with not joining his wife as soon as he could have, but Cap had grown fond of The Store as the father he couldn't be in marriage. I like the Dad Characters a lot in media because I have a better relationship with my father than I do my mother, and Cap is a Good Man as well as a Good Dad. If PK can learn to be a better man by watching Trickster up close, then perhaps Trickster can learn to be a better father figure by just being around Captain. I hope, anyhow. XD Cap doesn't believe in lost causes.
I love you, Gunslinger, my giant Ukrainian teddy bear, my Doberman Boyfriend. Also he's responsible for SO, SO MUCH REFERENCE SEARCHES. GUNS, TATTOOS, MUSCLES. God, everything I never used to draw because my wheelhouse are cute girls, twinks, and bishonen. And Gunslinger IS NONE OF THOSE. I don't think he's ever had a Twink Day in his entire life. Drawing big, muscly men is beyond my current skill set but I'm gonna keep trying because I love him XD And so does Doc.
A lot of his sheets are for all the tattoos and piercings he had and I still get them wrong XD. I took inspiration from Russian prison tattoos since he was incarcerated in his youth. I love the back tattoo of the Virgin Mary with MP5s because the concept is so damn cool. I'm still working on anatomy so be patient XD. My favorite tattoos are the spider on the web on the left arm. Dunno why but I really think it looks super cool.
He's just a fricking Brick ShitHouse, and has all the abilities and skills from the immortality drug to be the brickiest, shithousiest mountain of a man. I need consultation with the Husband on fight sports and all that, and then one of my best friends for all the gun stuff, so of all the mercs, he might be the one with the most need to consult someone else for information (second only to Cap). As the sheet says, "2 parts John Wick, 1 part Mr. Clean". That's basically Gunslinger.
But he has a gentle side, which its just something I LOVE ABOUT BIG GUYS. He sews, cooks a little, and dabbles in mending arts like kintsugi as well. I wanted the idea of someone whose hands can both destroy but also restore, like a parallel to Doc. He can fix things, make things, just as easily as bringing hurt or death to an enemy. I like to think he and Doc are great with kids.
As for the resurrection blitz, and the overhealing skills, I do have plans for that later. I don't really have many plans other than "make him invincible in the moments they need him most", because while Trickster is complicated, Gunslinger is simpler and straight forward (though very much NOT straight XD). Man bullet-proof. If not bullet-proof, is a Demon Wall. And he loves a good fight. To the detriment to safety, especially personal. In battle, all men are equal, and to challenge someone to the death is no greater joy. Which works cuz he can't die. You can imagine Doc's feelings on that.
This pairing was always written with the idea it wasn't going to last very long. But it's an important relationship. It's Doc's first (?) romantic relationship he lets himself have, and its just as passionate and whirlwind as I imagined PK and Doc's would be. I think Doc needed someone both gentle and patient, as well as powerful and protective. He can finally explore love and sexuality with a trusted partner, which is important. So while it hurts to break them up eventually, I still do see them as Friends with Benefits; heck, even Gunslinger prompted Sniper to consider a throple XD But then again, most of my couplings turn out to be throples in the end: Mei, Henri and James in Creepy & Crawly; Hideki, Djura and Mikoto in Threads of Yuugen Genesis; Treble, Bass, Quentin/Balance in E.Q. (ok that's a quartet to be fair XD), so to be perfectly fair, because WOHN is also technically based on a harem, why can't Doc have multiple and simultaneous suitors? XD
If there's one thing I need to practice though, its all the lifting poses I have Gunslinger doing XD I need to do that more and better (cuz there ain't no way PK or Sniper could Princess Carry Doc. Well. def not PK, the twig).
Everyone's favorite Vietnamese-French Problem XD. If anything, I think Trickster was instrumental in helping me draw hands holding a cigarette. His face had changed a lot but that's mostly because I struggled in the beginning with drawing an adult male XD I have a lot of sketches unscanned in my journal since it's a pokemon planner and I'd have to mask the illustrations, but I drew a lot of Trickster last year. I still flounder when I draw the hair since his white patch is on the top of his head. I'll get there someday.
I was pretty dead set on him carrying a misericorde vs a balisong or stiletto. Everyone in the Store (and indeed their mercenary racket) have done unsavory things, and he's probably done the worst (check out the War Crimes comic for an example XD) but he distances himself on some of them by making such a distinction in his tools. He prefers to give "mercy" not "assassination", though to be fair, he has less claim to that than Sniper. Assassin carries a stiletto normally, and that's why he makes this distinction; he makes it harder to PK because I think subconsciously he doesn't want one more thing to drive a wedge between them. Also, since I didn't make it explicit, but his actually has a flat blade instead of a round one that misericords usually have.
Dunno if I'm keeping the "maintaining eye contact for disguises" detail at this point, but the masking/cloaking technology is still in use to a much lesser degree. He's usually better at make up and dressing than relying on technology to disguise him. Everything else seems to be still relevant info a year later...yes, he still has a flip phone. XD He's so uncool sometimes. He's the only other merc with night vision, as far as I planned so far.
He and PK are references to Daft Punk because of course they are XD. That's why I named PK and Trick Thomas and Guy-Manuel, respectfully. PK is the only son he had with his mother Flora, and all the rest of PK's sisters have flower names (check PK's birthday image for details), so Thomas having a different name always made PK feel a little different from his sisters. Not that he'll ever find out why, he only knows his deadbeat father named him. I don't know why Trick picked Thomas other than the Daft Punk reference so XD.
He also does still do latte art and def got Sniper (and Techie) into City Pop and Future Funk. Just seemed perfect XD
I've mentioned before how I think Trickster is the most complicated member of the team. His parents were war refugees, and he lost them in a car crash when he was young. He was adopted by an assassin's guild and quickly rose through the ranks. He also grew up with Assassin before he lost his goddamn mind. When the guild was destroyed, Trickster drifted for a year or so before meeting the love of his life. Then he knocked her up with triplets, and left because he got cold feet and took up another high profile espionage job. He's wanted so bad to leave and go back to her, and tried mightily. Having 2 more kids with her (with a 11 year gap between them) says that. But like John Wick, you really never leave. Ever.
And while he's come to settle in the sheath of that fate, I think he prickles at the thought of PK following him in those footsteps. Trickster gets on PK's case when he falters at wanting to go "Home" vs wanting to stay with this found family he also loves. It damages Trick on a level he doesn't like to bear. And the fact that Trickster could cleanly accept that he can't have the family life he wants when his son cannot yet accept it hurts him like a splinter under the nail bed. That's why he lashes out, pushes him to choose one or the other. And that's what colors my acceptance I have to change the originally planned OTP of Doc and PK; letting them have an unrealistic happy ending absolutely invalidates the sacrifice Trickster makes every day. It sucks but I also have to be a good parent to WOHN. I gotta make the hard decisions of logic to make it feel right. Even if it means I make 2 men repeat one another's mistakes over and over again.
My lil short king IT specialist. Decon @transistor-rhythm-909 designed him initially too, but obviously I ended up in a much different place than when I started XD He definitely changes in face and body type from last feb to now; I feel a little bit more confident in drawing a nice thicc boi, and I can't wait to get better at it. Oh the hair is definitely different too. XD Most of the info still stands except for the fact there's no damn way he can do vent crawls lmao. Ain't no way.
The cybernetic eye was Decon's idea, and I really like how sci-fi it makes him. Cutting edge of technology and everything. Things that have been considered in terms of narrative, sadly, are how to really work out drone warfare, AI programming for his various projects and of course there's that arc of him and a robot having a Galatea and Pygmalion arc down the line. In the year I started WOHN, everything that Techie would have had a hand in changed so rapidly irl that I want to treat some of it more delicately. A few of the storylines I wanted to approach for his relationship with Ichiro--an assistant program that ends up gaining sapience and falling in love with him--seem a lot harder to navigate with the absolute state companies have taken AI tech into. I wanted to move the story in a place closer to works like Bicentennial Man and Chobits; sadly I wonder how much of that I can also follow while also condemning the shitty AI infection in the art and entertainment worlds. That's something to consider.
Drone warfare also I feel I need to look at a little more carefully; its written in his background, and wartime scenarios in this shittastic world isn't exactly easy to do but I think its important to explore things carefully anyway. Certainly the world in WOHN has its roots in our world, but there's a shitton of differences and variances in the timeline I also can consider. I wanna write someone like Q with all the cool inventions, but also consider that war is a very real thing; the whole series hinges on people who are immortal and are sent to do unsavory jobs, of course there will be repercussions. Just food for thought as I try to navigate it all. I'm definitely going to try.
I think one of the more important relationships is this ride or die, childhood friends bond between Techie and Sniper. Unlike PK whom has very stark divisions between his past/regular life and his current mercenary one, Techie and Sniper have a much more malleable membrane between their past as kids and their present as adult mercenaries. Sure, I think there's a few things they leave unspoken between themselves (Sniper's hitman jobs starting out, and Techie's work abroad in the Middle East with the drones for instances) , but they read between the lines pretty well.
I toy with the idea that when they were younger before Sniper dropped out of collage, that he might have attempted to ask him out, and Techie turned him down, but on the other hand, I think them just being this close without the romance also is just as important. I think maybe it might have come to Sniper once but he let it go just as quickly. The Apartment AU examines this under several routes, and their relationship is a lot more complicated and unresolved, so it being much more straightforward and simpler in the mainline feels right, if that makes sense. Them being friends who anticipate each other's actions without words, understand without speaking, and acceptance without doubt makes their friendship really strong in ways I think we don't examine very often in fiction. But I'm also amused at the fact that they're like the biggest height difference in the team XD
Hooooo boyyyyyy, if there was anything that surprised me the most about how the characters just evolved as the year went by, its Sniper and his Class S Yuri Situationship with Doc. As the 3rd character created, I didn't anticipate how close they would become so quickly. Episode 1-3 really showed a chemistry between 2 people I just assumed would be just best friends bloom into such a...well, situationship.
He always was meant to be a musician, a pianist, because I liked the thought of a 2 very opposite talent pools coming into conflict. I wanted a very different silhouette so i gave him the poncho, and I don't regret it. He looks so damn cool. I also feel like I'm getting a little better at drawing cowboy hats XD. His face and hair didn't change too much, though I think his hair got an inch longer since his first sketches to show off the bottom white layer easier.
Everything else seems to be the same still. He's addicted to noodles, like me, and his favorite foods are ramen and phở (and bò kho, actually, which doesn't always have noodles and comes with fresh baguettes). He spent a considerable amount of time in California, which is why he talks like me and not like a proper Kiwi XD;;;;. I'm trying, I swear. He also introduced Doc to Oreos, so thank him for that.
His version of the drug also changed from the sketch sheet to when I finished episode 1; originally it was just Surgeon's formula, but it's now a hybrid of Doc's formula and Surgeon's base. Its still less effective, in that his healing rate comes much slower and his pain threshold isn't as high (though as a long ranged gunman, I wouldn't have expected his pain threshold to be very high). When it comes to Pilot's, that also changed but that's for later. He is, by that metric, the weakest of the main 8, maybe a little hardier than Doc. However, his sight and hearing are the best of them all.
I have a bunch of sketches of Doc and him together, and I think of them as a pair. Episode 5 really lays into that devotion Sniper develops in waiting for extraction; Doc, though, hesitates in letting him in. Hesitation is basically their keyword; it's what got Sniper in this mess in the first place, and why Doc is scared of getting closer to him. Maybe they'll figure it out, maybe Sniper's happy enough to be content with the distance. And why wouldn't he? It's his profession, maintaining distance.
I've considered Doc coming back to Sniper romantically, but at the same time, it's also fun to watch Sniper flirt at Doc and Doc actually being flustered. It's not meant to be cruel, just playful. I think they have a really strong chemistry just like he and Techie. In fact I have a couple of sketches of them as kids I'll add in Techie's post; they also have a fun playful relationship that's similar to Sniper's and Doc's. I don't know how I plan to resolve the Situationship at this point, but what I do know is that wherever Doc goes, you can be sure Sniper's gonna be there too. They are pretty cute together.
Ah yes, the twink of the team (next to Doc I guess XD). PK's changes are a little more obvious in that I feel like he was slowly shedding his baby face, and looking more like a young adult. I will admit I still don't draw him using the tonfa right lmao. I think I'm still attempting to figure out his uniform/default outfit colors and its been a year ^^;;;
PK, short for Parkour, is one of 2 characters who take their occupational name from an aspect of it, rather than the actual role (Dyna is the other). Symbolically, it shows his dual life of having a one foot in a "normal" life and having the other in the underground world. PK sounds like an actual name, and it's actually close to his real name, Thomas Parker. Like me, he's mixed race, though unlike me, he speaks Spanish way better than me. XD He's a quarter Puerto Rican, a quarter Irish, and half Vietnamese (and technically French). Don't ask why he has green eyes, it's cus I like green eyes.
PK's main conflicts is wanting to have both worlds, and not quite understanding that he can't. It's a struggle Trickster knows far too well and it contributes to the friction between them, more than the unspoken father-son relationship. And yes, PK never finding out is definitely one of the hard rules in the main series; Apartment AU explores that relationship when it's in the open and has its own friction.
One of the other goals with PK was to have he and Trickster have a relationship that's peer-to-peer rather than father-son. I think they're the same kind of person deep down inside, which is why they fight a lot, but at the same time, I think they have a stronger bond as equals and friends than family. I also think PK is a younger Trickster but making better decisions XD (kinda). He really is gonna grow up to be like you, Trick, whether you like it or not.
Most of the data in these sheets is still relevant though I flip flop on his bones being denser (to withstand impacts and falls) or lighter (so he can jump easier and move about faster). Maybe his bones are non-newtonian on impact, who knows. XD His face scar did change a bit from a vertical one to more horizontal under his eye (this makes more sense for a ricochet shot than a vertical scar). I did drop his age down a couple years from the original idea, mostly cuz there was a lot of age fiddling since he's the second youngest child in a family of 5.
I included the original sketch drawn by my bestie Decon @transistor-rhythm-909 since I asked if he wanted to design the first sketches for a few of the gang (he chose PK and Techie), and I've refined the outfit since then, though I like to feel I still have the main details together.
I prolly need to re-add details at this point XD!!
He and Doc, as you can see, were created near about the same time (Doc, PK, Surgeon/Assassin, and Sniper were designed together at the beginning), and were originally meant to be the eventual OTP. At this point though, I feel like things have shifted. I don't think I can give Doc and PK the happy ending I wanted to in the beginning, but that doesn't mean I can't give them a happy story in the first place. But as someone has once said, "not everything beautiful needs to last forever". Perhaps maybe PK is more instrumental for Doc to finally find out what he really wants. I just know he and Doc leaving the mercenary world behind is an impossibility. Otherwise Trickster's story wouldn't be where it is. It may be a sci-fi fantasy, but I still want to follow the rules and logic of the world I made for them. But I definitely want to make it a wild ride for the both of them to enjoy.
That means the end of the story has changed considerably, but I think it still follows what I expected in the end. And besides, for all his bravado and his source material, I think PK is a lot more together than anyone gives him credit for. I still want to have PK and Doc have a whirlwind, intense romance. I owe it to them in any case XD.
