polyminding my own business 👍

teddy, they/them overall, 20s

[what-the-flock]

An intro post

Hello, my name is Teddy. After identifying on & off as a median system for five years, I finally found the term "polymind," and felt like it really spoke to me. I'm making this sideblog/diary dedicated to exploring this experience of mine and, hopefully, to feel less alone in it.

I'm in my twenties but anyone can interact. I will not post anything NSFW, but may sometimes comment on darker themes which I will preface with a warning.

I will use the term "parts" instead of minds for the most part, reminiscent of IFS. It just feels more natural for me.

I am a student in professional school and have a busy life, so my activity on this blog will vary wildly.

My "flock" (so far) detailed below:

Nate (🌨️) - he/they - anchor, productivity - isolated, restless, pragmatic

Harper (😺) - she/they - anchor, ageling (13) - clingy, joyful, childish, self-destructive

Lark (🪶) - they/name only - deactivator - quiet, fatigued, introspective

June/Tania (🌻) - she/they - caretaker - passive, concerned, maternal

River (🦴) - he/it/the dog - black shepherd-ish dog, pressure release valve - bite-y, asocial, seeks dark & quiet

Caleb (🥭) - he/him - social mask - confident, calm, mature, family-oriented

Nadia (🎱) - she/her - ??? - carefree, confident music-lover, "main character energy"

[what-the-flock]

each mind is insufferable about music in their own way which means we just created our 350th playlist on Spotify 🫪

[what-the-flock]

Usually my swaps are more gradual but frequently while I'm engrossed in an activity a new mind will swap in and I won't realize until I finish. It can be a bit discombobulating.

[what-the-flock]

Whenever I see online discourse I'm grateful that I'm no longer sixteen

[what-the-flock]

I think I definitely have more minds but some of them are so vague and short-lived that I'm not sure I could ever hope to pin them down.

[what-the-flock]

for the ask game, 🌼❤️‍🩹🦄!

🦄 - Which mind has the most whimsy?

Definitely Harper! She's my ageling, and approximately 13 years-old. She loves toys and playing pretend, and picks out fun clothes to wear on the weekends. She's the reason we have a solid wall of furbies in our spare room 😂 Life would be a lot duller without her!

🌼 - What do your minds do that make you feel loved?

June is our caretaker part, and she's good at reminding me not to put off tasks, even when I'm really tired. Like, "wash that pot now, or you know it's going to sit in the sink for a week and make you feel bad." She also makes sure that we brush our teeth and drink water before bed when we're inebriated 😅 Our minds generally try to do what's helpful for the collective, but June is the most loving for sure.

❤️‍🩹 - What’s the most challenging part of being a polymind for you?

I'm sure it's the same for most polyminds: the sense of internal conflict. Not only do my minds have clashing attitudes, but they also have different feelings on gender. This was very difficult for me to reconcile when I was a teenager who really cared about precise labels. Now, I just say that I'm genderqueer. It's such a broad label that none of the minds object to it.

[what-the-flock]

For the ask game you reblogged! 🪐

(:

🪐 - Do you have an innerworld or any kind of internal safe place? What is it like?

This is an interesting question, because I've been wanting to foster such a place for my parts for a while now. I haven't worked on it yet, but I think it would be beneficial to have a mental area of mutual rest. I've mentioned in a previous reblog that I could see all of my parts relaxing around a campfire. I went camping a lot as a kid, so it's a setting that feels very safe and comforting for me :)

[the-daisy-chain]

❤️ Polymind Ask Game! ❤️

Reblog this post if you want folks to send you asks with emojis corresponding to these questions! You’re also free to just answer the questions yourself as a daily/weekly/whenever journaling exercise, as there’s exactly 31 questions :) Any mind (or multiple!) is free to answer! Have fun!

🌟 - What’s your favorite part about being a polymind?

❤️‍🩹 - What’s the most challenging part of being a polymind for you?

🪁 - Are there any activities your minds like doing together?

🎨 - What are your minds’ favorite colors?

🌳 - Which mind would you consider the most responsible?

🌼 - What do your minds do that make you feel loved?

🧰 - Does your mindset use any specific job labels or other coined terms? Do you find these labels helpful?

⏰ - Have any of your minds changed jobs/purposes/roles over time?

🦄 - Which mind has the most whimsy?

🧸 - Do you have any agelings? If so, how do they get along in everyday life & cooperate with the rest of your mindset?

🌙 - Are there any other communities you’re a part of that you feel intersect with your polymindence?

🔥 - Have any of your minds taught you some difficult lessons, or made you confront/embrace difficult or repressed feelings?

📋 - If your minds ran a small business together, what would it be?

👤 - Are your swaps externally noticeable? If so, what differences in voice, behavior, body language, etc. do you experience?

🌿 - Have you told anyone irl about your polymindence? If so, what was that like, and do you have any accommodations in place? If not, are there people you wish you could tell?

💥 - If your minds were Pokemon or Pokemon gym leaders, what types would they be/use?

🪐 - Do you have an innerworld or any kind of internal safe place? What is it like?

☕️ - Do your minds help you take better care of yourself? What does that look like for you?

⚡️ - How and when did you realize you were a polymind?

⛰️ - If your minds were Minecraft biomes, what biomes would they be? What would your collective base (or separate bases!) look like?

🪞 - Does your mindset share any collective values?

🎀 - What are your minds’ respective ✨aesthetics✨? Is there any overlap/collective aesthetics?

📺 - Do you have any fictlings? Where are they sourced from?

💤 - Have any of your minds gone dormant/inactive?

🖋️ - Are there any tasks or activities that only one or a couple of your minds like to do?

🐶 - If your minds were Animal Crossing villagers, what models would they use/what animals would they be based on?

💬 - What does communication between your minds look like? Is it entirely internal? Do you ever talk out loud? Do you use any apps, journals, or private servers to communicate?

💧 - Which of your minds would you consider to be the most emotional? Least emotional?

☀️ - What makes each of your minds happiest?

❣️ - What’s something you wish people knew about polyminds/polymindence?

💖 - Free space! Talk about anything you’d like relating to your polymindence!!

[the-daisy-chain]

1) I do not meet the criteria for a dissociative disorder/my dissociative symptoms are subclinical

2) I have a complex and nuanced relationship with my selfhood

these things can coexist!!!

[what-the-flock]

Anti-polyminds will get mad at us for using common English words for their definitions and say that we're trying to be systems. Okay.

[what-the-flock]

I'm frequently reaching a point where our ageling is like, "I don't want to do this anymore, I'm sad/scared/stressed," and I'm trying to honor her feelings but... we just have to keep going. The best I can offer her is the promise of YouTube on the weekend.

[polymindpositivity]

Helloe fellow polyminds, I have some questions for you, because I think I'm pretty abnormal with my answers, and I want to hear your experiences!

Can/Do you talk to your minds?

Do your swaps completely change how you act or is it mainly thinking? Or something else?

Are your minds connected to one central personality, connected to each other equally, or something else?

How do different minds being active affect how you as a mindset like to be perceived?

How did you discover your minds? Do you know what caused it?

[what-the-flock]

1. Can you talk to your minds?

I tell them things a lot, but in general they only "communicate" back to me through the way they influence my emotions.

2. Do your swaps completely change how you act, or is it mainly thinking?

Mainly just thinking, but our minds have different physical energy levels as well. When our ageling is active, we're noticeably excited and fidgety. When our burnt-out mind is active, we're more lethargic. One thing I will note is that my minds influence my gender identity, which I haven't seen a lot of people discuss.

3. Are your minds connected to one central personality?

Yes in the sense that they are all connected to me, if you'd consider "me" a central personality. The minds have varying degrees of attachment to each other, in that they can swap more easily from one to the other. (For example, our "productivity" mind can easily swap into our "burnt-out" mind.)

4. How do different minds being active affect how you as a mindset like to be perceived?

I already mentioned that my minds influence my gender identity. They also have varying degrees of masking, for lack of a better term coming to mind. Our ageling has little sense of social shame and will say/do whatever she wants. She doesn't care if we come off as "weird." Meanwhile, our "social mask" mind craves being seen as confident and competent above all else. He even tries to ignore that the rest of the minds exist because he thinks they're embarrassing.

5. How did you discover your minds? Do you know what caused it?

I would say it was probably the inherent trauma associated with being an undiagnosed neurodivergent kid. I felt like a bundle of raw nerves collected vaguely into the shape of a human, trying desperately (and failing) to fit in. I think these early attempts at masking and compartmentalizing myself led to this schism in my collective identity. By the time I was thirteen, I had actually already identified two parts of myself that I called "Heart" and "Brain." (Now known as Harper and Nate.) Fast forward to college, when I found out about plurality. My fascination quickly led to realization. I identified as a median system off and on for about five years, and then found out about "polymind" as a term. Here we are!

[what-the-flock]

Most of the parts have different music tastes but Caleb, most notably, loves German pop music for some reason

[antiantipolymind]

istg plz go touch grass. tell someone irl about this polymind stuff and see their reaction

My friends, (2) cousins, siblings, mom, and grandma know. So uhm, what now?

Maybe YOU should go touch grass, get a fucking hobby, or job, or what about friends? An INTERNET TERM talking about proven experiences, is not hurting anyone. Hell, even my THERAPIST knows, my therapist is actually encouraging it as we also practice IFS. The only reason you think polyminds are bad is because you think everything is specifically about you, not every term is copying you, people can have experiences.

[antiantipolymind]

"Polymindence is not comparable to CDDs" and "CDDs and polymindence have similar bases" are two sentences that can coexist by the way.

[what-the-flock]

Another day, another account to block for using the "anti polymind" tag.

[what-the-flock]

Me poking Nate: Hey. Hey. Productivity guy. Wanna take a turn?