If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.
5 times everyone thought Steve and Eddie were dating before they got together + the first time Steve tells someone after they actually get together
happy birthday @legitcookie!!! i hope you had a fantastic day!💗
read on ao3
1.
Thinking back on it all, Steve thinks he should have known something was up when Dustin started letting Eddie sit up front when he drove them places, a spot reserved only for Robin or Erica when Dustin was riding with him.
Steve has seen that kid - who's not really a kid anymore, he's in college now which is so weird to think about - elbow his friends in the neck trying to get to the car first so he could ride shotgun. So giving up the coveted spot for anyone - even Eddie - should have been a giant red flag.
Steve brings up Dustin letting Eddie sit up front to Robin and gets an eye roll for his trouble.
"What?" he asks. "It's not like it isn't weird. The kid will literally only let you or Erica sit up front and he only lets Erica do it because he's afraid of her."
"Yeah, and he let me sit up front because he thought that we were a thing or about to become a thing or whatever," Robin says, like that explains anything.
"Right," he says, not quite getting what she's getting at.
Dustin knows better now and has stopped bothering them about it, stopped asking Steve when he's going to finally ask Robin out. It only took a million years, but he thinks Dustin gets it now.
He still lets Robin sit up front out of habit - and because Steve refused to start the car the one time Dustin tried to bully his way up front with Robin after figuring out they would never be a 'thing'.
"You know he still kind of idolizes both of you and now that you're, you know-" Robin says trailing off.
Steve lost the thread a little bit, but he nods. "Sure, sure," he says.
Now that he and Eddie are friends, Dustin has stopped bugging them about about each other. Maybe Robin's right. Dustin is still just idolizing Eddie and that's why he lets him sit up front.
Steve still thinks it's weird though.
2.
The first instance Steve can remember something weird happening even before Dustin started letting Eddie sit up front was at a club in Indianapolis.
Robin's sitting in between him and Vickie in the booth, talking about her classes this semester, when she stops short.
"Rob?" Steve asks, and then waves a hand in front of her face when she doesn't respond.
She snaps out of it when he boops her nose lightly. "Uh, um. Don't look, but-"
He immediately looks in the direction she was looking in when she spaced out and tries to scope out what she saw that caught her attention so hard she stopped talking. He sees the crowd of dancing people in his line of sight, but he doesn't see anything out of place.
"I said don't look!" she snaps at him and he turns back to her.
"What? I don't see anything!" he says, feeling chagrined at her snapping at him like that. "You can't say 'don't look' and expect me not to look."
"Just- Eddie's, like, dancing on someone right now," she says, tone almost apologetic.
Steve fails to see what's so special about that. Eddie's always hooking up with someone when he and Steve come out together. He doesn't even think it's the first time Robin's seen it, so he isn't sure why she's so shocked. Vickie has a sympathetic look on her face when Steve glances at her to see if she thinks it's weird that Robin is bringing this up.
"Okay?" he says, voice lilting high at the end like a question.
"And you're okay with that?" Robin asks, her eyebrows furrowing.
"Uh, should I not be? He's always hooking up when we go out," he says, looking back over and yep - he's got his tongue down some guy's throat on the dance floor, the guy's hands gripping Eddie's ass to bring their hips together. Steve feels a ribbon of want float through him - it's been a while since he hooked up with someone.
"So, you've got like an arrangement where you can hook up with other people?" Robin asks, confused.
And Steve is also confused. The way she says 'arrangement' like it has connotations that he should understand. Why would he and Eddie have even talked about hooking up with anyone?
His slightly tipsy brain tries to rationalize it - maybe she's talking about when they go out just the two of them, like if Eddie hooks up with someone, Robin's assuming Steve would be all alone. He doesn't have a problem with it - he's a social butterfly when he's drunk and even if he wasn't, Eddie running off to go dance or make out or hook up with someone gives Steve time to find someone to hook up with himself. It's not like he's ever bored when he goes out with Eddie.
So he tells her, "He can literally do whatever he wants, Bobbie."
She sips her drink and stares at him, her gaze scrutinizing, and whatever she sees must appease her because she drops it and starts talking about her courses again.
When he remembers that conversation the next day, all he can think about is how bizarre Robin was acting.
3.
The next weird occurrence he can remember happening, he didn't even find out until after the fact that something was awry.
He's on vacation with most of the older crew, staying at a house near the ocean, just a small little bungalow, for the week that they're in California.
When Steve and Eddie go to drop their suitcases off in the room Nancy shuffles them towards, they pause.
There's only one bed.
He and Eddie look at each other and Eddie says, "Maybe all the rooms have one bed?"
"Yeah, yeah, probably," he says, dragging his suitcase to the far side of the room.
"We probably shouldn't say anything, right?" Eddie asks, later, before they all head out to the beach. "Like, about the room?"
Steve thinks about it. He knows Nancy is the one who got the keys to the house through her parent's friends and she got here earlier than them and scoped out the place. If there was another option to them sharing the same bed, Nancy would have told them. "Yeah, I mean. It's fine, right? You don't have a problem sleeping next to me?"
Eddie shakes his head. "Oh, of course not. I'm good sharing if you are."
"Yeah, it's no problem," Steve says. He kind of can't remember the last time he shared a bed with someone other than Robin when she stays over at his apartment sometimes.
"Okay, then we'll just. Keep it to ourselves. Besides, I feel like Nancy would skin us if we tried to complain about a place we aren't even paying for," Eddie says with a grin. The perk of Nancy's parent's friend having a vacation house is that even though it's a little small, they let them use it for free. And it's empty because they only use it when it's winter in Hawkins.
"She one hundred percent would," Steve agrees, so they drop it and don't bring it up. Too few beds isn't the end of the world.
Waking up with Eddie's arm firmly wrapped around his waist is fine, nice even. If Steve turns off the alarm that woke him, snuggling back into the embrace, making them both late for breakfast when they finally do wake up, that's no one's business but his own.
-
It's later, after they're home, that Eddie stops by and tells him about the extremely bizarre conversation he had with Nancy the last day there.
He says, "So something weird happened on vacation and I don't know what to make of it and I'm only telling you because you're the only other person it affected," as soon as Steve opens the door.
"What happened," Steve asks, instantly worried. He lets him in and Eddie starts pacing in the living room. Steve goes to sit on the couch.
"So, that last day on vacation, Nancy asked me to come sit on her suitcase because it wouldn't close with all the souvenirs she bought. I went into her and Jonathan's room and there were two beds," Eddie says, stopping in place to look at Steve to gauge his reaction.
His eyebrows shoot up. "Oh," he says. He's really not sure what to make of that either.
Eddie starts pacing again.
"Yeah. So I asked her why there were two beds in their room, but not two beds in our room - kind of put my foot in my mouth if I'm being honest. I didn't mean to just blurt it out, but then she said 'we were just trying to make sure everyone was comfortable'," he says, inflecting his voice higher to mimic Nancy.
"What the hell does that mean?" Steve asks, trying to wrack his brain and see if he remembers her telling him anything about her and Jonathan's relationship being shaky. He thought they were good. There were some rocky times before Vecna, with the distance and everything, but once they were both in the same place again, things seemed to smooth out between them. They've been happy together for years as far as he could tell.
"Exactly!" Eddie says, finally coming to sit on the couch next to him. "I literally asked her what does that mean? Because I had no idea. Still have no idea. She said 'what? It's not like you have a problem sharing with Steve', which honestly something about her tone made me feel like I was stepping on her toes, so I just dropped it. But I can't stop thinking about it. Are she and Jonathan okay?"
"As far as I know," Steve says. "That's so weird. But if there is something happening between them, it would make sense that they'd call dibs on the one room that has two beds. I gotta talk to her and see what's going on."
"Don't, like, tell her I told you or anything," Eddie says to him. Steve still thinks it's hilarious that Eddie is patently afraid of Nancy and her guns, which are mostly retired and locked up.
"'Course not," he says. "I'll just ask how they're doing the next time we hang out. I hope it's something they can get through at least."
"Yeah," Eddie sighs. "If they don't make it, how are the rest of us supposed to have a chance?"
Steve does ask Nancy about it later, just casually asks how she and Jonathan are doing.
She kind of narrows her eyes at him and says they're fine, but her voice is suspicious like she isn't sure what he's getting at. He drops it because he's also a little afraid of her.
The entire situation just leaves him confused, though.
He doesn't bring it up to Nancy again, but he does talk to Robin about it because his conversation with Nancy left a weird feeling in his chest.
"Eddie told me Nancy and Jonathan had separate beds on vacation," Steve blurts out, trying to go for casual, but absolutely failing.
She looks over at him with a weird expression on her face and says, "Yeah, I thought you knew that? It was just how it all shook out. Nancy just wanted everyone to be comfortable." And those words are eerily similar to what Eddie told him Nancy said about it.
He asks, "What do you know?"
"What do you mean?" she counters.
"You know something," he says, narrowing his eyes. "Are she and Jonathan alright? I tried asking her, but I felt like she was gonna bite my head off."
"They're fine," Robin says. "Nancy and Jonathan were just taking one for the team."
Steve's still so confused.
Robin must see the confusion on his face because she grabs his hand and says, "Look, we don't really ever talk about it, and that's totally fine by the way, but we all just want you to be happy."
Steve isn't sure where that came from or what it has to do with Nancy and Jonathan, but he's touched that his friends want him to be happy, he supposes.
4.
It's when he and Eddie get an apartment together that Robin brings up the thing she said at the club, jogging his memory of that bizarre night.
She's helping him unpack his room, putting stuff in the drawers, leaving space in some of them like she expects half of his wardrobe to be filled with something else. He thinks it's just another one of her weird quirks. Does she keep yarn for her knitting projects in half of her dresser or something?
He's hanging some shirts and she's folding his jeans when she blurts out, "You know, you don't have to let him 'do whatever he wants' just because it's what he wants, right? You're allowed to have a say in it too, you know."
It takes him a minute to realize who she's even talking about and even longer to realize she's referring to the conversation they had at the club years ago now.
"What- Eddie?" he asks confused. She nods, so he asks, "Why, because we live together now and that should, like, change something?"
Robin sighs, setting the folded jeans in the drawer. "I just mean, this doesn't exactly seem like the type of thing you'd be into. You've never mentioned wanting-"
He cuts her off, and says, "I mean, it's not like I don't also hook up with people when we go out."
That shuts her up for a solid minute. He watches as she processes it and almost wants to roll his eyes. His friends really think he has no love life whatsoever, huh?
He knows he hasn't dated anyone in a long time, but he's fine hooking up with people when he and Eddie go out sometimes. He can't say he doesn't miss having someone, or being in a relationship, but he's fine for now. He's still young, he still has time, you know?
Robin looks at him and says, "Okay. Okay, if that's something you want. Only if it's what you want, though. Don't just let Eddie talk you into something you don't want to do. Don't let him walk all over you."
"Yeah, of course," he says easily. "And if you're worried about us bringing people back here and it causing tension or whatever, we have rules in place and everything."
Robin says, "That- that's good! Rules are good."
'Rules' might be stretching it, but they did talk about guests not staying for longer than one night and trying to keep it down when they do have guests and that's good enough for Steve.
Luckily, Robin seems content to let him drop the subject and talk about how they're thinking of decorating the living room.
5.
The invitation comes in the mail.
Max popped the question - surprising Lucas, who had been agonizing for weeks over how to propose - a few months ago.
They knew the invitations were coming. Max told him over the phone that they'd be coming soon and that she expected them to send back an RSVP even though she already knew they'd be coming.
Steve checks the mail and is surprised to find just one invitation addressed To Steve & Eddie.
He takes the mail inside and shows the invitation to Eddie, who's eating his breakfast, still a little bleary-eyed and soft from sleep.
He drags the chair at the kitchen table closer to Eddie's chair and drops into it as he watches Eddie frown at the envelope in his hands.
He looks at Steve and asks, "Just the one came?"
Steve nods and Eddie opens the envelope to pull out the invitation.
They look over the invitation and Steve notices the RSVP section doesn't have options to add a plus one for either of them.
"Wow," Eddie says, dragging the word out. "None of our friends think either of us would manage to convince someone to come with us to the wedding, huh?"
Steve hums in agreement. He knows Robin, Dustin, El, and Erica helped Max and Lucas with the invitations and no one saw an issue with this one.
"God, are we both so extremely single that not one of our friends thinks we could find a date?" Steve asks, putting his head in his hands.
"Truly and deeply so fucking single, dude," Eddie says, rubbing a hand over Steve's back to lament with him.
+1.
"Hey, can we talk?" Eddie asks him after dinner one night and Steve's heart immediately starts beating out of his chest.
That phrase, even uttered by a friend, out of blue, makes him think something is wrong. He has the irrational thought that he's about to get friend-broken up with or that maybe Eddie wants to get his own place or something, which would really fucking suck.
They've lived together for a long time and are kind of co-parents to a cat now - it would just be a supremely inopportune time for Eddie to suddenly decide he wants out.
Eddie must see the anxiety in his expression because he quickly says, "No, it's nothing bad. It's just- it's actually something good, I'm hoping."
"Uh, okay," Steve says, wringing his hands a little with worry.
Eddie takes a deep breath and says, "So you know how I haven't really been interested in going out or hooking up lately?"
Steve nods, his heart finally calming down a little. Eddie hasn't wanted to go out lately, but it's fine - Steve hasn't really been all that interested either, more content to just lounge around the apartment with Eddie than to go out and try to meet new people.
"It's because there's someone I'm kind of interested in right now, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. It's a close friend, so I've been debating whether or not to say anything because I don't want to screw things up if he doesn't feel the same," Eddie says.
Steve's eyebrows furrow trying to think of who Eddie could be into. The thought that he might be into Jeff or Grant or Gareth, one of his closest friends, makes something in Steve's stomach swirl. He's not sure he likes that. Eddie dating a close friend, moving out to move in with him, sharing a life with him - that leaves a bad taste in Steve's mouth.
But it's Eddie - and Eddie deserves to be happy - so he says, "I think if you like someone, even a friend, you should tell him. If he's into guys, I mean. He'd be a fool to say no to you, whoever he is."
The smile that lights up Eddie's face is a little painful to see for some reason.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Eddie says.
Steve expects Eddie to get up and leave, to go find whoever it is he's into, but he stays put, on the couch next to Steve.
He reaches out and takes one of Steve's hands in his, still looking at him, like he's waiting for something.
Thoughts churn through his brain, first wondering why Eddie would hold his hand when he's apparently in love with one of his friends, and then realizing that he's probably also in the category of people Eddie considers a close friend and then-
Oh.
"Me?" Steve whispers, eyes wide.
That smile is still there, fond and happy.
"You," Eddie says, squeezing his hand.
"But why though?" he blurts out.
Eddie laughs. "We kind of share a life together, dude. We have a cat together and a home. And like, I don't think I've ever wanted anyone the way I want you, so there's also that."
Steve looks at him and thinks about their friendship up until this point, thinks about them deciding to move in together, to keep the stray cat Eddie found, the natural stop to them going out to clubs and bars in favor of staying in together and curling up on the couch.
He thinks of waking up for a week straight on vacation with Eddie's arms wrapped around him, feeling safe in his arms.
He thinks about the feelings that wrap around his heart and squeeze when he looks at Eddie sometimes.
He thinks about Eddie's hand in his right now.
He squeezes his hand back.
"I did say whoever you were into would be stupid to say no to you," he says.
"You did say that," Eddie says. His cheeks are a little flushed and Steve is overcome with the urge to pepper kisses all over them.
He scoots closer on the couch and says, "I meant it."
Eddie leans in closer and says, "I want to kiss you, but I want to be sure that we're on the same page. Like, it's not just about wanting to fuck you, which I do by the way-"
Steve interrupts and says, "I mean, I kind of got that when you said you didn't want to ruin your friendship if I didn't feel the same."
"Shut up, I'm trying to confess my love to you," Eddie says.
"Love?" Steve teases.
The blush on Eddie's face deepens, spreading down his neck. "Kind of. I mean, I've known you for how long now? I think it's kind of impossible to know you and not love you."
There's heat prickling behind Steve's eyes, embarrassingly enough. "I'm gonna kiss you," he says, instead of addressing how that one line has absolutely swept him off his feet.
He pushes closer, closing the small distance between them, getting his mouth on Eddie's for the first time.
Eddie sighs against his mouth, this pleased little sound that lights Steve up from the inside. He wants to kiss Eddie until he's dazed with it, wants to hear all the noises Eddie can make, wants to draw them out of him with his mouth and his hands.
Eddie kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until his mouth feels tender under Eddie's.
He pushes Steve backwards on the couch to lay on top of him, his hips in the cradle of Steve's thighs. He keeps kissing him as he settles his weight on top of Steve, their bodies pressed flush together.
They lick into each other's mouths for a long minute, just tongues tasting each other and mouths moving together.
Steve is working up the courage to touch Eddie, to put his hands on him, when he hears him hiss in pain. He pulls away from Eddie's mouth and sees Trick clawing her way up Eddie's arm to get on the couch.
Eddie sits up and pulls her off his arm and deposits her on Steve's chest. She immediately steps on his windpipe in an attempt to curl up near his head.
"God, your daughter is so mean to me," Steve says as he moves her off his neck.
"To you?" Eddie asks, looking at his arm to make sure he's not bleeding. "It was my arm that she clawed."
Eddie's still perched between Steve's legs, but with Tricky on the couch, there's no way they can go back to making out.
And-
"I have to tell Robin," Steve says.
Eddie grins at him and asks, "Immediately after our first kiss? You're gonna run over to her place?" There's no judgment in his voice and that makes something in Steve's chest feel tender - that Eddie knows how he is with Robin and isn't weird about it.
"Yeah, it won't take long. I'll be back before you know it." Steve watches as Eddie climbs off him and adjusts himself in his pants. He covers Patricia's ears and says, "Trick won't like it, but when I get back, we can lock her out of the bedroom so she can't interrupt us next time."
"Oh yeah? And what are we gonna do 'next time'?" Eddie asks.
"Whatever you want," Steve says, watching the flush return to Eddie's face.
He bites back a grin and says, "Hurry back. I'll, uh, I don't know. I'll get myself ready or something."
Heat floods Steve's veins. "You gonna be waiting for me with a rose in your mouth when I get back?" he teases, trying to dissipate some of that heat.
"I think you're the roses boyfriend, not me."
"Boyfriend?" Steve asks, standing up from the couch.
"Boyfriend," Eddie says, cupping his jaw and kissing him again. It's easy to get swept up in it, the feeling of Eddie's mouth moving against his, the feeling of Eddie's hands on his waist.
He pulls back from the kiss with a slick noise and says, "I'll be back in like twenty minutes."
Eddie nods and lets him go.
Steve grabs his keys and heads over to Robin and Vickie's apartment where he knows Robin will be.
"Bobbin," he calls out as soon as he opens the door to her apartment.
"In here," she calls back from the kitchen.
He rounds the corner of the kitchen and says, "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Eddie."
He watches several emotions pass over her face, none of them excitement, and deflates a little bit.
She says, "Okay?" like it's a question, like she's confused.
"Like, we're dating now and I'm. We like each other and I'm pretty sure it's more than that for both of us," he say, hoping to get some kind of reaction from her.
"I don't understand," she says.
"What's not to understand? Eddie and I- we're together now," he says, in case she didn't get it the first time.
Robin squints at him and says, "Okay, but you've never wanted to talk about it before. What's changed?"
"What do you mean, what's changed? We kissed and he said he was confessing his love to me. I thought you'd be happy?" His chest feels a little tight at the thought of Robin not approving. He really thought she'd be happy.
"Did you, like, break up and not tell me? Why would him confessing his love to you warrant a house call? Where is this coming from?" she asks, and Steve's moment of hurt is replaced with a deep sense of confusion because they are somehow not on the same page about this.
What the hell is she talking about?
"Rob, what do you mean break up?" he asks, feeling off-balance.
"I mean, you and Eddie have been together for years nowso I'm not sure what you're talking about." She looks in his eyes and then lights up. "Oh, are you trying to tell me you're exclusive now? That's exciting!"
Steve just stares at her for a minute, memories of the weird things his friends say to him and Eddie and the weird things that happen coming rushing to the surface. The weird conversations he's had with Robin over the years, feeling like they were talking about two different things. The first vacation where they shared a bed together even though there was a room with two beds, and how it happened again the next time they all went on vacation together. Dustin letting Eddie sit in the front seat of his car. The one, singular wedding invitation.
He's not even sure how to broach the fact that his friends all apparently thought he and Eddie have been together for years, but he says, "Eddie and I weren't dating before now. We literally just got together. We, like, literally just had our first kiss less than fifteen minutes ago."
"That's not funny, Steve. You guys have been in each other's pockets for closing in on five years now," Robin says, coming to sit on a bar stool at the kitchen island. "You, you live together and have a cat together."
He can see her mentally going through all the things she thought about them as he comes to sit next to her.
He gently says, "We weren't together before. We were only friends before today. I'm not sure what we did to make you think that we were together, but you know I'd talk to you about anyone I was dating, even Eddie."
"It's not just me!" Robin says, looking at him again with a piercing stare. "It's everyone! We all know. Or we thought you were together. I'm so confused. How is it possible that you've never kissed before? Like, wait a minute."
She stops talking and puts her head in her hands.
"What are you doing?" he asks her when she doesn't say anything for a couple minutes.
She pinches the bridge of her nose as she says, "I'm trying to channel my memories. Because there has to be a time where I asked you point blank if you were seeing Eddie and you said yes."
"I can guarantee you won't find that memory. Because it doesn't exist. Because Eddie and I weren't dating. Until now," he says.
"You went to Max and Lucas' wedding together!" she says, looking at him triumphantly.
"Not really," he says. "We thought everyone just thought we were both terminally single or something and that's why they sat us together."
Robin smacks her hand against her forehead. "This makes no sense to me. Wait, I asked you if you were in an open relationship before! We talked about it at the club and again when you moved in together. How do you explain that?" she asks.
"That time at the club, I thought you were talking about him ditching me to hook up. It didn't bother me. That's literally all I said. Not that we were in an open rela- wait, you really thought I'd be in an open relationship with someone?"
"I know! It never made sense to me! You're like the most monogamous person I know," Robin says. "Okay, I get that we crossed wires there, but what about when you moved in together? I talked to you about it then too. You said you had rules about hooking up."
He can see how saying that might have been misleading. He says, "I meant like, rules about keeping it down, not about us dating and hooking up with other people." He feels a headache coming on.
Robin looks just as exasperated as he feels. She looks like she's grasping at straws when she says, "You're always together and you touch each other all the time. When I've seen you cook together, you're always bumping his hip or hand-feeding him extra ingredients."
"We live together, of course we found a groove cooking together." he says.
"A groove, okay," she says, rolling her eyes. "But even before then, you were always hanging out."
"Because he's my closest guy friend? Closest friend in general other than you," he says, still so unsure how he missed his entire friend group thinking they were together.
Steve doesn't know how this happened - how all his friends could have thought they were together when he didn't even know how he felt about Eddie until today. How could he have missed this?
But listen.
Steve has never claimed to be a smart man.
If anything, he thinks Eddie should have caught on long before he ever did, so he's holding strong that it's not his fault he didn't see the signs. If Eddie couldn't see them either, how the hell was Steve supposed to be able to?
"And now you're boyfriends," Robin says, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"And now we're boyfriends," he agrees.
She grins over at him and says, "That's the first time you've said the b-word. This is the first time we've talked about it and you said the b-word. You really weren't dating before now."
He shakes his head. "We really weren't. And I seriously can't believe you ever bought me saying we were in an open relationship. It's like you don't know me at all," he says with a sniff.
"No, I was extremely confused about it, but you were happier with him than anyone else I've ever seen you with, so it didn't matter what I thought, you know?"
Steve's face smooths out at that and his heart melts a little. He loves her so much.
He hugs her to his side and she playfully shoves him away.
"I can't believe I've had it wrong - we've all had it wrong - this whole time. The more I think about it, though, the more it makes sense that you weren't together. Like, I expected you to be talking about him all the time, but you never really gushed about him to me. At first, I thought it was because it was your first boyfriend, you know?" she says.
He nods. He can get that. What he can't get is- "You were okay with me not talking about him, sure. But you really think I wouldn't kiss a guy I was dating in front of you? Or hold his hand?"
Robin shrugs and runs a hand over her forehead like she's getting a headache from thinking about it. "I thought you were just shy at first. Again, the boy thing. And then it was just habit not to or maybe Eddie wasn't into PDA- I was just guessing. And, I, everyone thought it, so it's not just me. You guys literally adopted a cat together, how were we supposed to take that any other way?" she asks in an exasperated tone.
"She's Eddie's, technically."
"You're telling me Patricia's not your daughter?" Robin asks.
"No, she is. But Eddie's the one that found her, so I'm just her step-dad," he says.
Robin stands up from where she's seated and says, "See! You say shit like that all the time and expect us not to think you're dating him?"
He winces. "Yeah, I kind of see it now. Well, good news is that we are dating now and I'm gonna go home and fuck him about it."
Robin rolls her eyes. "Christ, I can't believe I ever thought you could be dating him and be anything other than like that about him."
"Oh Robbie, when we come up for air, you're gonna wish we weren't like that about each other. Apparently, we've got like five years of PDA to make up for," he says with a grin.
Generally speaking, Steve Harrington is a pretty good boyfriend.
He takes Eddie out, never lets him pay for stuff if he can help it—hell, he’s even bought Eddie flowers before. And Eddie’s not complaining, because it’s hard enough to find another queer man in Hawkins, let alone one willing to date him. So Steve is his first boyfriend, and Eddie hasn’t had much (read: any) experience with dating.
But he’s pretty damn sure by the time they hit the three-month mark that Steve’s staunch refusal to hold his hand is unusual.
It’s not like Steve isn’t affectionate. More often than not, Steve’s arm will be around his shoulders or his waist, and there are no shortages of kisses anywhere and everywhere. But Steve won’t hold his hand. And he hasn’t let Eddie give him a handjob. Which—the latter isn’t as much of an issue, because maybe Steve’s just not a fan of handjobs, and that’s fine, Eddie’s not an asshole, Steve’s more than entitled to say no to stuff like that.
Though, Steve’s got no problem putting his hands to work, so what is it about the idea of holding hands or Eddie touching him in the same way that makes Steve so weirdly uncomfortable?
Eddie’s first thought had been that Steve might just not like holding hands. That the clamminess of another palm in his gives him the same kind of sensory ick that Eddie gets from getting adhesive residue on his hands. But Steve holds hands with Robin all the time with no problem, so it can’t be that.
His second thought is that Steve might be so used to being the ‘man in the relationship,’ so to speak, that he doesn’t think Eddie would want to be as handsy. But, again—doesn’t explain the hand holding thing. Because Steve had definitely held hands with girls he’d dated in the past, if Eddie’s high school memories aren’t failing him.
So what the hell is it?
What’s so unthinkable about being touched by Eddie?
And Eddie tries not to read too much into it, because he’s more than aware that both he and Steve have some internalized stuff about being queer, and maybe Steve’s just working through that. He tries not to read too much into it because Steve is a good boyfriend, save for this one weird thing, and maybe they’ll get to a point where Steve will tell him why he doesn’t want to hold hands or have Eddie’s hands on his bare skin for more than a minute or two.
They’re making out on Steve’s couch one night, Eddie’s hands on Steve’s waist and Steve’s hands already halfway through undoing the button on Eddie’s jeans. Eddie starts to tug at Steve’s shirt to get it untucked from his jeans. “C’mere, wait, lemme touch you,” Eddie breathes, and Steve grins against his mouth before backing away. Eddie blinks, utterly confused. “What? What is it?”
Steve just laughs, shakes his head, and dives back in for another kiss. “You’re funny,” he murmurs against Eddie’s lips, and Eddie feels a weird tug in his gut, because something’s wrong, and Steve’s acting weird again about Eddie touching him.
He thinks it’s funny.
Thinks it’s funny that Eddie wants to touch him.
Well, firstly, ouch. Secondly, that’s a real jerk move, but he’s torn between telling Steve off and getting off. He ends up going with the better option, because Steve might be acting like a jerk, but he’s a jerk that’s jerking Eddie off, so…better than nothing, Eddie supposes.
He doesn’t bring it up again for another three months, resigning himself to have his hands redirected from Steve’s bare skin and remaining steadfastly un-handheld. And, sure, y’know, he might be able to attribute it to the fact that they spend a lot of time with people who don’t know they’re together yet, but that possibility is quickly eradicated when Steve suggests that they tell the rest of the Party about them.
“You sure you wanna do that?” Eddie asks, brows raised skeptically, because for a guy who won’t hold Eddie’s hand, Steve’s pretty gung-ho about airing their business to the rest of the group.
Steve just tilts his head, a cute little look of confusion on his face. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, like the idea of him not wanting people to know about him and Eddie is crazy. Steve blinks, the confusion turning to concern. “I mean, unless you’re not ready. I don’t want to pressure you—”
“You can tell them,” Eddie cuts in, fidgeting with his rings. “I’m—yeah. Yeah, you can tell them.”
Maybe this will finally give Steve the push he needs to get over himself and hold Eddie’s goddamn hand before Eddie goes crazy and gets shipped off to Pennhurst.
Or…maybe not.
Because Steve still won’t hold his hand. Or let Eddie touch him.
The one time Eddie had managed to get his hands on Steve’s bare skin, he’d spotted Steve itching at the spots Eddie had touched in the bathroom later that night, the door only open a crack. Which is pretty dramatic, even for Eddie’s taste. Is the feeling of Eddie’s hands on him really so awful? Christ, Eddie’s getting sick and tired of this shit.
Eventually, nine months into their relationship, Steve blatantly moves a hand away from Eddie’s during a movie night when Eddie tries to take hold of it. In front of their friends. Eddie sucks up his wounded pride and corners Nancy in the kitchen later, after the first movie is over and they’ve been sent to get snacks while Steve and Robin argue over what movie to play next, wondering if he should even be asking her.
“Something on your mind?” she asks, because he hasn’t come up with anything to start with yet, and Eddie sighs.
“Is—okay, did Steve ever—when you guys were dating, did he ever, like, not hold your hand?” he asks, and Nancy tilts her head.
“I mean, sometimes…? It was only because I was wearing rings, though,” she says, like that makes perfect sense, like Steve just has some ring-phobia or something, and Eddie bites the inside of his cheek. Nancy gives him a little smile. “You wear yours all the time, so I don’t know why you’re so surprised.”
Okay, so, weird ring-phobia it is.
That’s the new working theory, and when he and Steve bunk in Steve’s room for the night, Eddie makes a show of carefully pulling his rings off and setting them on the bedside table. There’s a couple of green marks on his fingers where the clear nail polish he’d coated the interiors in has chipped away, and he rubs at his bare fingers absentmindedly as he climbs under the covers. He takes a deep breath and laces his fingers with Steve’s, ready to have Steve pull his hand away for the umpteenth time.
Instead, he’s met with a surprised, pleased little hum. “You took your rings off,” Steve notes, relief clear in his voice, and Eddie nods, trying not to let the feeling of triumph show on his face too much. Steve grins at him and presses a kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “That’s a nice surprise.”
“What, you don’t like my rings?” Eddie teases, keeping the genuine curiosity in his voice to a minimum, and Steve’s brows furrow.
“What? No, no, I love your rings, Eds,” Steve tells him. He lowers his voice. “I think they’re pretty hot, actually.”
Okay. Okay, so a wrench has been thrown into the ring-phobia theory.
“What, are they too cheap for his majesty’s royal fingers?” Eddie jokes, putting on a goofy, poorly-done British accent, and Steve’s nose wrinkles slightly.
“I mean, they are costume jewelry,” Steve says. “Nickel-plated, right?”
Ah.
So…it’s that Eddie looks, or even feels, too cheap.
Jesus. He hadn’t thought Steve would be that shallow.
Eddie swallows. “Uh, yeah, they—they are. I can stop wearing them, if you…” he trails off, not really sure what to do with this new information. Cheap to the touch, apparently enough to make Steve wrinkle his nose at the thought of Eddie touching him with his rings on.
“What? No, no, you don’t have to. I’m good, I can deal with it,” Steve says, like it’s supposed to be reassuring, like it’s such a big sacrifice for him to deal with how inexpensive Eddie’s taste in jewelry is, like their relationship isn’t serious enough for Steve to get over himself.
It’s just his rich boy upbringing, Eddie reminds himself. Even Wheeler’s upper-middle-class jewelry wasn’t enough to beat that expensive taste.
Evidently, the conversation had stuck in his boyfriend’s brain, because on the morning of their first anniversary, Eddie is given a long, velvety black box with four Sterling silver rings. They’re exact replicas, design-wise, of their nickel-plated counterparts, and Steve looks so proud of himself, so pleased with his gift idea, and Eddie barely stops himself from frowning.
“Oh,” Eddie says, a little hollow, “um, thank you.”
“You like ’em?” Steve asks, and there’s such a hopeful look on his face that it just pisses Eddie off more. “I just figure—y’know, because, I mean, I can’t hold your hand if you’re wearing costume jewelry, so—”
“Yeah, no, I, uh—I got that,” Eddie says with a strained smile. “Thanks, Steve.”
Steve’s brows furrow. “I feel like you’re mad at me,” he says, and he says it with humor, but there’s genuine worry behind it. “Did I screw up your present that bad? Were you dropping hints and hoping for something else?”
Eddie’s jaw clenches. “It’s…the present is fine, Steve,” he says.
“You don’t like them,” Steve mumbles, gnawing on his bottom lip. “I mean, it might take me a lot longer to save up, but is—would you, like, prefer titanium or steel or something? I didn’t really think you were a gold kind of guy, but it’s fine if you are, I just didn’t know—”
“Why do I have to prefer anything?” Eddie snaps. Steve blinks at him. The look of pure confusion on his face is a little infuriating, like he can’t even fathom why Eddie might be upset, and Eddie’s eye twitches. “Look, just because you’re all high and mighty about what jewelry is worthy of being seen near you—”
“Woah, woah, what are you talking about?” Steve asks, alarmed.
Letting out a frustrated groan, Eddie slams the box down on the coffee table and stands up to stomp around the living room, pacing back and forth. “You won’t let me hold your hand o-or even touch you, like you’re so above cheap shit that you can’t bear to let it touch you, and I’m so sorry that I’ve offended the sensibilities of his highness with my ‘costume jewelry,’ but Jesus, Steve, you can’t even get over yourself on our anniversary? I’ve seen you act like me touching you with my rings on gives you hives or some shit, like it’s just so terrible that it makes your skin crawl—”
“It does,” Steve says, a little subdued, eyes wide with shock, lips parted, “I’m allergic to nickel.”
Eddie pauses mid-stomp.
“You’re what?” he squeaks.
Steve blinks, and a long silence stretches between them. “I’m allergic to nickel, Eds, everybody knows I am,” he says. “I can’t hold your hand if you’re wearing nickel-plated stuff, but you really like your rings, they’re important to your look, so I wasn’t gonna be a dick and tell you to take them off just so I could.”
Recontextualizing every interaction of his year-long relationship he’d tried not to read too hard into is…a lot to experience in a little under thirty seconds.
“Oh, dear God, I’ve been an asshole,” Eddie mutters. “I thought you wouldn’t let me touch you because—but it was just—”
“Yeah, an itchy dick is not a good feeling,” Steve says, a nervous little laugh bubbling out of him. His face falls a little. “I—did you think—?”
“I’m so sorry,” Eddie blurts, horrified. “I am so sorry, Steve, oh my God—”
“No, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you didn’t—I must’ve seemed like a total jerk, Eddie, I should’ve told you outright, but I guess I figured you already knew,” Steve says, shrugging helplessly. “But, no, it’s nothing like what you said, I promise, I’m just—I’m allergic.”
Eddie immediately yanks the rings from his fingers and fumbles to get the box open, swapping them out for the silver ones, which he jams onto his fingers as fast as humanly possible. “If I got my head out of my ass sooner, I swear I would’ve found replacements the second I knew,” he says, and Steve laughs.
“I know you would’ve,” he says, all fond and soft, “you’re good like that.”
“Let me make it up to you? I can touch you all I want now,” Eddie says, waggling his silver-covered fingers in front of Steve’s face.
Steve interlocks their hands and leans in to kiss him, slow and sweet. “Looking forward to it, Eds.”
i would like a moment to briefly note how important it is that benoit blanc is an older queer character. an older, happy queer character.
we are missing a good chunk of an entire generation of queer people due to the aids crisis. blanc living his cute happy little life, probably in his fifties, with his lovely partner, is such a beacon of hope. for me, at least.
An interesting demonstration of how the human brain works.
But also something of a lesson regarding perception, and the unreliability of subjective perspective versus objective reality.
You can be extremely certain about how you perceive the world, your "lived experience," that which you "feel it in my heart." But that doesn't mean it's actually true. And it doesn't mean we have to endorse it, or ignore or outright deny objective reality.
it’s literally impossible to have a normal discussion about media consumption on this website because every time you say ‘this website moralizes media consumption to a bizarre degree and treats what shows people watch like the be all end all of activism’ then people who think there’s nothing wrong with writing incest fanfiction start agreeing with you and every time you say ‘media consumption is not a morally neutral activity and fiction does impact reality, and there is certain media that you can’t ethically consume’ then people who call stephen universe ‘irredeemable media’ start agreeing with you
people bitching about the usage of "too modern" words in fantasy or historical fiction is sometimes justified, but ultimately I think it's a waste of time because
all words exist within a specific time frame and it's pointless to avoid the fact that you're writing with the language of your own time
which words are actually "newer" than other words is sometimes wildly unintuitive
according to the dates given in the Oxford English Dictionary, if you wrote a book set in 1897, you could have your characters say "fuckable," (1889) "sexy" (1896) "uncomfy" (1868) "hellacious" (1847) "dude" (1877) "all righty" (1877) and "heck" (1887), but not "wiggly" (1932) "moronic" (1910) "uptight" (1934) "lowbrow" (1901) "fifty-fifty" (1913) "burp" (1932) "bagel" (1898) or use the word "rewrite" as a noun (1901)
Some more words where the date of their first known usage just Doesn't Sound Right:
hangry, as in the portmanteau of 'hungry' and 'angry' (1912)
dildo (1590)
yucky (1970)
grungy (1965)
freebie (1925)
shitty (1768)
boost (1815)
boss (1856)
TGIF, as in Thank God It's Friday (1941)
yay (1963)
Fucked up (1863) is much older than fuck you (1943) but older still is the now-obscure fucked out (1862) which means what it sounds like—exhausted from too much sex.
STRAIGHT SEX? IM TALKING ABOUT MAKING THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS, RIVALING PROMETHEUS IN HIS IDEA TO BREATHE LIFE INTO CLAY. IM TALKING ABOUT TRANSFORMING YOUR BODY IN YOUR IMAGE TO MAKE IT TASTE SWEETER, LIKE WATER INTO WINE. IM TALKING ABOUT PICKING UP THE PIECES AND CREATING SOMETHING NEW, TO FINISH WHAT THE COWARD FRANKENSTEIN NEVER TRULY STARTED.
you can instantly make a cool female character if you just take any stereotypically masculine character type and make him a butch lady. easiest trick in the book. you can try this at home
im not talking even about broad scale archetypes like Action Hero. those are cool don't get me wrong but if you take more specific stock characters such as "cartoonish mob boss" or "gentleman detective" or "elderly mad scientist" then you have an instant hit on your hands. lesbians WILL love you forever and you WILL be the most interesting person around
