May tao pa ba dito
Okay ba to for journaling
;/
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@whatdoyouvin
May tao pa ba dito
Okay ba to for journaling
;/
U can call this a pre-digital suicidal note
Idk if how serious my unhappiness is
Or just so unsatisfied with my life or just sleep deprived.
I feel like I’m failing with everything
Work
Family
Lovelife
I am such a great fake positive thinker.
I did cheat because i am a horny fuck chatting for human flesh
I am lying and keep lying to my family that i am straight af and saying I work for work sake but I just having myself some time with my boyfriend
I am unhappily working YES i earn a lot of money but at the expense of my FORCING myself to work at my comfort like I’m slowly parting away with my dreams
I am trying to revive my creative drive but I end up failing and just shift my way to play some fucking video games like a child.
I keep pretending everything’s gonna be okay but they’re not.
I keep thinking of the easiest way to die but I’m scared if HELL do really exist.
Idk if I’m just sleep deprived or just depressed af.
I wanna be better but my soul isn’t cooperating.
Gimme a drink
🙃🙃🙃
Nacht
Collaboration with Earvin Corona in rediscovering oneself through the lens of a camera. #CreativeTherapy
Good night
I wanna get out of this phase as fast as I can
You and I were unstoppable
Idk what happened And right now it just sucks
Everything sucks
I miss you but I don’t love you I miss you and Idk why I miss you and I’m numb I miss you and I cannot trust you I miss you and you can't trust me I miss you and I wanna get over it
I'm in constant Delirium
But you you’re not allowed, you’re uninvited, an unfortunate slight. -Alanis Morissette
Head hurts
I think I’ll choose litten…
There there feeling better Fiona? ❣
You Can Fix It
— a breast cancer awareness illustration
OMG ngayon ko lang nakita <3
WELCOME TO BLUE NEIGHBOURHOOD
“I think to a certain extent everyone is from a blue neighborhood. It’s where you call home. The comfortability of it, the warmth, the nurturing suffocation. Mine is where all of these stories took place for me.” - Troye Sivan
Growing up, I wasn’t really into photographs. I never smiled in my photos, not until my high school bestfriend told me to do so, but I’ve always loved the camera, and I got more into it as I’ve gone through my youth.
As much as I loved taking photos, I’ve always wanted to -sort of- try to be the model or at least the subject of a photoshoot. (since being called one after this shoot felt unflattering, cause I know I’m not one and I can’t be one.) And as for the majority from my usual habit -Instagram, I reached out to the easiest and closest as soon as possible for the collaboration.
THE PHOTOGRAPHER:
photo credits to Ervin David
Earvin Corona, who prefers ‘MVV’ for a notable alias, handles three accounts on Instagram. Formerly known as monsterbeenbeen, he later on changed to @whatdoyouvin. He also has his personal and portfolio IG handle (wherein you can also find the shoot) @emdcorona and @monstervinvin.
Earvin captures thematic and very experimental photographs in his shoots. Meeting him in person or even just seeing his material reflects the rest of his style and personality. Seeing his experimental nature on the other hand, judging from the widely conceptual number of photoshoots he’s done previously, I instantly knew that we can work on something good right away -even if it was just my first time.
THE CONCEPT:
the photoshoot was mainly inspired by Troye Sivan’s album aesthetics, (with a special variation of MMV’s logo) Pantone’s Colors of the Year for 2016, and Roy Nachum’s art notable for his work on Rihanna’s ANTI, balloon surrealism became our interpretation of ‘YOUTH’
Believe it or not, we’ve gone through a lot of conflicts ( seriously) during the time we were shooting this. It was mostly because of creative differences, and stuff not going well with each other. We went with numerous pegs in an attempt to achieve each other’s standards, and gone through concept to concept till we arrived with a Troye Sivan inspired theme, Blue Neighbourhood.
To begin with, we originally planned to go with dark, melancholic visuals, shooting different looks on different locations with a pinch of surrealism. It was my idea to manipulate a few photos for the shoot to look surreal and not *too focused* on me, I’m not the typical good-looking-freelancer-used-to-being-photographed kinda subject, after all.
After a bunch of mishaps and conflicts on schedules, we had to make our first batch of photos shelved for a while for we still haven’t finished anything yet in two months. By the time, Troye Sivan was almost finished with his Blue Neighbourhood trilogy, and was teasing the rest of his album. Seeing his record’s aesthetics, we agreed on shooting another set of photos and mixing it with the first batch of photos we shot in August. Having the photos tweaked and reedited, we finished the photoshoot in December. The Blue Neighbourhood idea for a theme was brilliant for it was that huge during those months, and the goal is not to completely replicate Troye Sivan and his music videos, but to capture the emotions of each song into photographs. Also after having the colors of the year announced by Pantone, we instantly knew that we had to incorporate it with the shoot. We just had to.
THE SHOOT:
featuring the photos representing each of the 15/16 songs on the album:
OUTTAKES / BTS:
all photos owned by Earvin Corona, MVV 2016
IN CONCLUSION,
from art related arguments and mishaps to creative conflicts, the photoshoot was a success after five months.
On collaborating with people, I always tell them first that typical photoshoots don’t or might not really work for me. By typical, I mean dressing up and making the most campy poses on cam (walling sa hollowblocks, kunwari naglalakad tas pa-cute, ganon.) I guess that’s too much to hear especially from someone who’s just starting and still learning about posing and projecting. I’m also not that good looking either. Maybe that’s why I don’t like being called a model just yet, ( it can be flattering but at the same time it’s an insult to those who actually work for it and do it for a living. I only take it bec obviously, I’m the photographer’s subject on their photographs lol) “freelance model” sounds worse. I’m better off not to put them on my online profiles because I don’t think I’m not one at all and /modelling/ is not what I [mainly] do. I prefer being the clay that they’ll mold, the 'vehicle’ for their work as an expression of them and mine.
I’ve already thanked Earvin for this opportunity even before the shoot took place and I still try my best to express my gratitude enough and how I owe him a lot for this one. Personally, I would love to and I am certainly looking forward to do more of this in the future with other artists as well.
Also thanks to everyone who liked this photo project, we deeply appreciate it so much. x
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<3 <3 <3
I don't need to dumb down my art for others to understand.
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