Lmao it’s funny you think I even have an ego about this dude I just want you to leave me the fuck alone.
Keni

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@whateverthefck
Lmao it’s funny you think I even have an ego about this dude I just want you to leave me the fuck alone.
Eating 1 to 2 meals a day without trying cause I have no appetite and when I do eat I get full very fast. Loving it.
I know he loves me but he never seems to want to have sex with me anymore and I don’t think it’s a big deal to him but it is to me but I have so much sexual trauma that I don’t even know how to ask him about it…
“I will not think less of myself just because you do not know how to love me.”
— Unknown
Why doesn’t he want to have sex with me…?
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance - you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”
— Daniell Koepke
Throwing out all her shit felt so good. For a long time I just put it away and figured I’d always just keep it in a box but then I threw it away I kept a couple things I liked or thought were useful and there’s some stuff I still used anyway but it felt good to truly put that behind me. I can’t wait for the rest of my life
I feel like total shit about myself and my body rn and then my boyfriend and I only see each other two days a weeks and tonight is our last night together this week and we didn’t have sex so idk I guess he probably doesn’t want to cause I gained some weight or idk I just want to fucking die…
I need his support and he doesn’t quite know how to support me but I don’t know how I need him to support me either so idk things are just pretty bad in my head these days and everything hurts so much
I’m not doing great and today is a very stressful day and I have no support and honestly I’m not sure that I can make it through with sh
Well I guess at least I got hit on on my way home that kinda helped my ego a little I guess
I’m mad at myself
I hate myself
I don’t deserve the relationship I have
I don’t deserve anything
I should be dead
SH is so weird. Sometimes I’ll run into the bathroom in tears and tear at my leg, then other times I’m casually slicing watching YouTube.
Tw: sui
The best part is this particular relapse all started because of a woman in a movie slitting her wrists and he was just so fucking nonchalant about it, like yo I’ve told you I’m depressed do you just not have any clue that watching suicide might be a little triggering to me, and you acting like it’s nothing at all might not help. Like yo, if I slit my wrists I hope you don’t even blink.
I’m not like actively suicidal but if some tried to kill me I wouldn’t fight back, if a car was headed for me I wouldn’t move, if I cut a little to deep I wouldn’t try and stop the bleeding, if i could die without me actually killing myself I would 100% be down
Pinterest knows me well 😌