i Dont know whats going on but its a lot

[whatswiththeletterj]

Gah being sober is weird. I just cried over how good yogurt and fresh strawberries tasted

[whatswiththeletterj]

I can’t remember the last time I looked at this app or used it…so sorry. But imma type this here instead of texting any version to any person I want to maybe talk to about it.

On a scale of 1-10 I’m around a 6 of how bad I want to self harm. I was a 5 maybe when I was about to text one friend I trusted, and two sisters I trust. But while I was going to type those messages, I realized that all they could say back was “please don’t, I love you, you have so many people that care, etc etc…”

And my response would definitely be along the lines of “okay, yes, you’re right, thank you, you’ve made me feel better, I won’t do it”

I hit a 8 out of 10 about 45 minutes ago which I think is how long I’ve been typing all this out. I’m drinking heavily

But. No. I still want to. I am about to. It hasn’t stopped me once…reaching out to the people I actually don’t want to disappoint…it hasn’t helped.

I’m hoping I’ll drink myself to sleep before I find the tools for more scars

[whatswiththeletterj]

New oral fixation is chewing on vape stoppers. They be durable and very satisfying

[whatswiththeletterj]

Has anyone else ever gotten actual blackout drunk and drove 400+ miles, 7+ hours to Mexico during memorial while there are tons of cops? No? Just me? Right….

Someone help me🙃

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

"I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was." - Sade Andria Zabala

[polyhymniaagain-deactivated2024]

Images I would insist on cutting from a script as “It’s laying it on a bit too thick don’t you think?”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Villains are never given enough credit for not dozing off while stroking their cats.

[whatswiththeletterj]

Hmmh

[whatswiththeletterj]

Oh, the past can paralyze if you ponder the paths you didn't take

[whatswiththeletterj]

[whatswiththeletterj]

[whatswiththeletterj]

I’m tired of existing to just hurt people

[whatswiththeletterj]

I hate my life

[whatswiththeletterj]

[whatswiththeletterj]

[whatswiththeletterj]

[whatswiththeletterj]

I made up a joke when I was like 10 and it was

Why couldn’t the woman talk about the past?

Because it was history

(His story) and I don’t know if it’s dumb or great

[whatswiththeletterj]

I’m so sorry Felix…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. Or do. Or feel. I wish I was there for you more…I’m sorry I didn’t know. I didn’t call. I’m sorry. You’ll be missed. So missed Felix……😔