When monkeys learn to sing

27 | professional pooper-scooper

[draconym]

Sure, you know how to self-flagellate, but do you know how to apologize? Saying "I'm a stupid idiot" is not the same thing as saying "I did something wrong."

[draconym]

People who want an apology pretty much never want to hear "I'm a stupid idiot." If someone is actually trying to get you to say you're a stupid idiot, it's not because it will make up for a mistake you made or harm you caused. It's because they want you to feel like a stupid idiot. People who care about you do not want you to feel like a stupid idiot and it hurts them when they see you putting yourself down in their name.

[theemotionmachine]

[cyberbullyinc]

[emiliusthegreat]

I had previously seen the bottom image with zero context like 5 times before finally finding the context post and that’s why I love tumblr.

[scalycat]

Father figure Viago?

[okthisway]

#i LOVE that the fandom agreed rook de riva IS eating poison at all times #viago said “is anyone poisoning that child” and did not wait for an answer

reblogging again bc these tags are killing me 😂

[catchymemes]

[waterloggedgarden]

someone could probably say something pretty about fossils, constellations, and stars in the sky

[depsidase]

[miss-chanandlerr-bong]

This right here! Do not obey in advance! Don't give them what they want just because you know they are going to want it! This screenshot is from the book On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Centu8 by Timothy Snyder. It's a pretty quick read. If you have the time you should check it out!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

now that trump has tiktok, twitter, facebook and insta in his pocket, get ready for a massive wave of internet censorship. one of trump's greatest weapons has always been misinformation; it's going to become harder and harder to spread facts and criticism going forward. posts that aren't made invisible will be magically ignored by the algorithm. dissidents will have their accounts deleted and voices erased.

this is a suppression tactic. this is another stage of fascism.

[deadstag]

three different colourations of a fallow deer, photographed by Mszafran on deviantart Source here

[your-url-is-problematic]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

Life is so RICH

[sophiaeck]

i love to learn. unfortunately my brain doesn’t like to remember

[luntfontanne]

Posters for National Theater of Korea's production of Macbeth, designed by Yuni Yoshida and photographed by Noh Juhan. [1][2]

[ospreyonthemoon]

I can't believe people have been performing macbeth for 401 years and we still haven't run out of sick poster ideas

[manicpixiedckgirl]

[fairycosmos]

what if im not medically depressed what if im just a massive lazy cunt and big loser

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?

[wandering-aloneo-o]

@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?

[markscherz]

95 at present, more on the way :)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?

[demilypyro]

dont talk to me if you don’t know that this, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight! Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed! It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb! That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. Now! Serviceman Burnside! What is Newton’s First Law?

[chichi2000fgh]

An object in motion stays in motion Sir!

[demilypyro]

No credit for partial answers, maggot!

[micchy-did-nothing-wrong]

Sir! Unless acted upon by an outside force, sir!

[demilypyro]

Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty! Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going till it hits something. That can be a ship. Or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years! If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone’s day, somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your damn targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not “eyeball it!” This is a weapon of mass destruction! You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip!

[persephinae]

[foone]

BTW, the reason this speech is directed to Serviceman Chung is because it’s named after Winchell Chung, creator of the amazing Atomic Rockets, a great site all about rockets and science and science fiction. The site has been around since the 90s (it started as a spreedsheet!) and it’s one of those fun ones you can get lost in for a whole day.

[straycatj]

Mr j my cat has a crush on you and he is a boy

That's how things are these days

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[coffee-or-hot-cocoa]

i need all the help i can get for finals

[finnglas]

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

[tikkety-tok]

She should show up at events where Prince Charles is. Give him a scare 💅 Watch to the end for the result!

[mon-t-real]

[fred-erick-frankenstein]

[batfamfucker]

Sis, I'll pay for your travel, just scare that fucker hard enough that he croaks 💅

[assassinregrets]

[ladyshinga]

"it wasn't a NAZI salute, he just did that because he's an awkward autistic poor little gamer boy:("

I will unmake you here in front of god and man.

[jv]

yeah poor little autistic kid who says the nazi party is the only hope for germany's future. He's so clueless right?

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Oh yeah he’s totally clueless! /s

Everyone splays their hand, fingers apart, on their chest and then flings said hand into the air at an angle so that their fingers close together with a thumb under the palm. That’s a totally natural hand gesture! (heavy /s)

(As an autistic woman, say this in front of me and I’ll make sure even your dna can’t be identified.)