Sam Hyde

I really want to meet you in a self defense situation.

[bohkutos]

Tsumugi… I promise you. From now on… daddy will make you good food like this, so let’s eat together okay?

[when-all-is-lost-turn-to-porn]

July 4th Eve on Tumblr

International tumblr users:

"Brace yourselves"

*boards up windows

American tumblr users: *quietly starts chanting in the distance "USA, USA, USA..."

[blackbookalpha]

@fumeknlght Healing rain

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

my gf: am I pretty?

me: the prettiest girl around

my gf: as pretty as the cartoon girl on your phone lock screen?

me:

[overgifs]

FAILED CONSPIRACIES THAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED HISTORY

[blazingsalads]

I totally thought this was going to be something about assasinating Trump and am sad that it is not

[bloodnet]

[lousysharkbutt]

you murder a bunch of children ONE TIME and they never let you live it down

patreon

[methyltheobromine-addict-deacti]

[a-titty-ninja]

plot twist: she falls into his titties

[callmehass]

do u ever have a drama high…… like after a fight or petty drama u feel rejuvenated and clean. like everything feels so surreal and ur heart is so calm and u feel so good

[kevinskeller]

[madlori]

jesus fucking christ the meta is strong with this one

also i’m going to go about 50/50 on that ryan reynolds did this movie for free. or maybe for a box of weetabix and a fifth of vodka.

[starlightgakuen]

[no-chill-at-all]

[lovelysuggestion]

i really do love you a lot and it hits me in the strangest ways

[what-is-this-i-dont-even]

what do you think of small/petite girls (*of age*) lol do you prefer curvier, normal-sized girls?

“Girls are cool. I like girls.” - Xpecial I’m just out here trying to have my hand held by someone who likes me as much as I like them.

[crimewave420]

I want you to murk my vagina

I nut fast

[scumisdead-deactivated20181126]

nah u speedrun sex

[crimewave420]

*nuts and clips through the bed and appears in the shower*

[sokkarockedya]

this might be my favorite tweet ever