When a librarian...

Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am. I am a librarian! ~ Evelyn, The Mummy (1999)

[whenalibrarian]

I forgot the recent book where the Great Library of Zosma exists -- i.e., Strange the Dreamer -- but my brain told me that it was something something Strang-- D--er, so I blurted out, 'have y'all read that book Stranger Danger?'

When a librarian is sharing stories of recent book talks and colossal mistaken identities

[whenalibrarian]

The RED One

When a librarian and a patron scour the shelves knowing the color of the book, the weight and heft of the book, the cover art of the book, but not the title of the book.

[whenalibrarian]

All your accreditation team are belong to us.

When a librarian takes flack for completing a research appointment form with much more detailed information than others, then uses it to demonstrate program support during re accreditation procedures years in the future

[whenalibrarian]

An Actual Child

When a librarian sees that favorite faculty member #1, who not only expects librarians to fill out a card and then walk away while he promises to make only 30 copies on a library machine when he has access to his departmental copier, has also managed to worm himself into a library carrel, with no locking door, exposed to the public, for him to fill with books which can neither be re-shelved or touched by other patrons, because he doesn’t want to lug things back to his office three buildings away.

[whenalibrarian]

Look How Fast the Night Changes

When a librarian is informed that the change coming for ten years just made it to the library job responsibilities flowchart.

[whenalibrarian]

Honestly, I wish all my projects had other more-capable project managers.

When a librarian is just plain overwhelmed by having so many balls moving in the air at once

[whenalibrarian]

I Know Your Face, Vaguely

When a librarian interviews for a job, and doesn’t write down the people in the room in her notebook, and then can’t craft an eloquent-enough thank you for the interview note that also implies she knows the committee chair’s name, and no one else.

[whenalibrarian]

Will NOT IT Work in This Situation?  Let’s Find Out

When a librarian looks around, realizes everyone is either at lunch or has forgotten themselves in the standard meeting that ends in one half hour, and sees that the 12:30 classes are letting out of the academic building across the way.

[whenalibrarian]

Show me a cataloger who likes the FAST headings, and I'll show you a unicorn.

When a librarian reads “we also delete the heck out of them” with her own two eyeballs

[whenalibrarian]

I Shall Bless Your Title/Barcode Lists

When a librarian is designating the Year of the Pig as the Year of Cleaning Up Messes In the Systems.

[whenalibrarian]

I'm sitting right here.

When a librarian overhears a student complain that the library requires two days prior and doesn’t schedule nights for research appointments, knowing that they know who the visitor in the room is

[whenalibrarian]

Printerpocalypse 2019

When a librarian gives the run-down of every. single. printer. problem in the building and it adds five minutes to her “official desk duty time.”

[whenalibrarian]

Never Underestimate

When a librarian hasn’t seen an out-of-state colleague in twelve years, wonders how he’s doing, has no idea what his last name was, and five minutes later is trolling through his instagram and twitter feeds.

[whenalibrarian]

Bring on the second civil war.  We're upping our game.

When a librarian notices a particular bent to the recent spate of purchases and holds, and it’s not too pleasant

[whenalibrarian]

These fucking people.  They're trying to inject compassion and joy into the recesses of my coal-black heart.  How dare they!  hoW DaRE THEy!

When a librarian shows his colleague a new blog that shares [shudders dramatically] positive library experiences

[whenalibrarian]

I’m Leaving, but I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

When a librarian sighs heavily, clicks off the auto-start on the car, and doubles back to the patron who’s holding a phone, a piece of paper, and her entire soul in tatters as she stares at the shelf in front of her.

[whenalibrarian]

I will see your Mythbusters and double down with an Adam Ruins Everything.

When a librarian isn’t particularly stuck-up about citing sources about why taking a nap every now and then isn’t bad, while waking up in the middle of the night isn’t necessarily a sign of insomnia, no matter what the drug companies tell you on either front