tired eyes

“And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just around some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well.”                                                                                                                                   

[writingpostmidnight]

sometimes i think about when my younger self cried “i just want it to get better, tell me it’ll get better” and think “don’t worry, it’s okay, it did. it did and you made it”

[skullclique]

with the last bandito show tonight.... i have some feelings

[whenvesselruled]

I will always be thankful for the entire journey that led me here.

I got to see them with my own eyes. I got to hear Tyler sing, hear Josh yell an-nyŏng-ha-se-yo. I got to hear the drums pounding. I saw the masks. I screamed so loud my throat hurt. I closed my eyes to hear 20,001 people singing “I know it’s hard sometimes.” I watched Josh attack the drums for an entire song. I swear he looked up at me when I waved. He pointed his drumstick straight at me.

I heard Migraine. I heard The Hype. I heard Truce. I heard Fall Away feat. Dr Blum. The live rendition of that video I must have watched a thousand times. I heard every late-night, summer morning, winter afternoon lyric I’ve loved. We jumped in the seated section, Tyler told us a funny story, confetti rained down from everywhere.

Everyone was dressed up, even the parents. The music was so loud I could feel it in my chest. My dad and I got scared every time the explosions happened and it made us laugh. When the fire effects went up, we could feel the heat on our faces.

Tyler sang Tear in my Heart to his wife. And Stressed Out. And Smithereens. Josh smiled and his hair was as brown and fluffy as ever. He threw drumsticks into the crowd. I couldn’t think of anything bad. My heart was full and nothing mattered; I was home.

It still hasn’t registered-- that I saw them live, and I sang the songs with them. I still feel like I’m in shock, like I’m in a good dream, like I shouldn’t have a tour poster and a creased ticket thumb-tacked to my bedroom wall.

There’s so much more I want to say about where they came from. Where I came from. How far we’ve gone. One short post is nothing in comparison to all the words inside of me. But I know I don’t need to worry about it. What a beautiful thing. Because you know what I mean. 

I could write a thousand poems about it. But I’ve already written so many-- you know where to find them.

Thank you for sticking around.

I love you all.

I-/

[whenvesselruled]

LAST MISTERWIVES SONGGGG

[whenvesselruled]

the boys are almost out!!

[whenvesselruled]

hello this is the face of a girl who couldn’t even consider being in a crowd seven months ago, but is now going to see her favorite band in an arena stadium... and is only a little bit nervous. wish me luck!

[whenvesselruled]

anyone going to the san diego show tonight?

[shock]

in college there are only two moods:

1. i can do this! after outlining everything i need to do, it doesn’t seem so bad. in fact it’s very methodical and easy to follow and i can do it.

2. oh my god its happening. its the end for me. i might as well be dead. everything is due now. i was put on this earth to suffer. i have two essays due in 45 seconds and all ive eaten today is half a goldfish cracker. i can only feel pain

also these moods go back and forth every hour 

[678i0u]

peter parker | personality

[whenvesselruled]

In response to that post you reblogged, either that first post I saw telling us to put everything down and go write, twenty one pilots poetry, or one of your more recent pieces—I think it was about remembering home? There was this one line about gold light shining in a diner I think? It was very pretty

Thank you so much <33333

[whenvesselruled]

🖤✨

[whenvesselruled]

maybe you can bring the third ticket to the show and see if someone doesn't have a ticket rand give it to them? (if you don't want ur sibling(s) to come with you)

i just feel like by the time i get there no one will be there if they don’t have the ticket, and plus it’s just one ticket and no one wants to sit alone

[whenvesselruled]

i bought 3 tickets for the show tomorrow but only my dad can go with me, so now i have an extra ticket i paid for. and he said i should bring one of my siblings, but i just don’t want them to see me and judge me.

[dreamworld27]

I was a bit nervous when I brought my siblings because they weren't as big of fans as I was (I was obsessed when I went) but they ended up being super excited about it and we all scream-sung. it was super great and really good for our relationship, so I say you should go for it! but then again, my siblings and I were really good friends beforehand, and idk what situation you're in. you're at college tho, right? it might be a fun way to reconnect.

[whenvesselruled]

ooh that’s good to hear! maybe i will bring one of them..

[whenvesselruled]

i bought 3 tickets for the show tomorrow but only my dad can go with me, so now i have an extra ticket i paid for. and he said i should bring one of my siblings, but i just don’t want them to see me and judge me.

[whenvesselruled]

we made it this far

[whenvesselruled]

tomorrow i finally get to see the skateboard boy, the hair like the sky before a storm, the plan A kid that taught me i am not my anxiety.

tomorrow i finally get to see the broken boy, the blue and green, the bruised mind, the give-up-everything story that told me i can still create through this.

tomorrow i get to hear the lemonade sunset, pink carbonated Migraine that helped me through so many afternoon drives when i didn’t  know myself.

tomorrow i embrace yellow-gold-dusk colored music: The Hype, the song that makes everything in my chest feel all right again, the single song soundtrack to the past year, all the reasons i smile.

tomorrow i listen to blue-bruised, forest-green,  golden shining, cheetah spotted, green and soft, chestnut colored wood smoke, a thousand reasons i remembered how to breathe.

[re-decorate]

The way in which josh smiled when tyler sang “for you I’d go, sing you this song with some help from my bro” during smithereens