look for me where i'm not

[whereimnot]

little seizure 3

wire me up for an EEG

my brain

fixifixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixit

[whereimnot]

[rustbeltjessie]

I know I am not the first woman to ask this, but how can I be both damaged and heroic? Both damaged and lovable? How do I become the protagonist of a story? Dead white guys and not-dead not-white not guys hate it when you dismiss revered works of art and literature by saying, Ugggggggggh. I hate this. And give no reasons why at all. If I live to a hundred, do I really have to spend eighty-five or more of those years explaining why I don’t like this?

Jenny Zhang, from Hags (Guillotine #7) [which you can, and should, purchase here] (via rustbeltjessie)

[whereimnot]

Bluets, Maggie Nelson

217. “We’re only given as much as the heart can endure,” “What does not kill you makes you stronger,” “Our sorrows provide us with the lessons we most need to learn”: these are the kinds of phrases that enrage my injured friend. Indeed, one would be hard-pressed to come up with a spiritual lesson that demands becoming a quadriparalytic. The tepid “there must be a reason for it” notion sometimes floated by religious or quasi-religious acquaintances or bystanders, is, to her, another form of violence. She has no time for it. She is too busy asking, in this changed form, what makes a livable life, and how she can live it.

218. As her witness, I can testify to no reason, no lesson. But I can say this: in watching her, sitting with her, helping her, weeping with her, touching her, and talking with her, I have seen the bright pith of her soul. I cannot tell you what it looks like, exactly, but I can say that I have seen it.

219. Likewise, I can say that seeing it has made me a believer, though I cannot say what, or in what, I have come to believe.

220. Imagine someone saying, “Our fundamental situation is joyful.” Now imagine believing it.

221. Or forget belief: imagine feeling, even if for a moment, that it were true.

[whereimnot]

little seizure 3

wire me up for an EEG

my brain

fixifixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixit

[larmoyante]

And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.

Franz Kafka (via larmoyante)

[whereimnot]

Happy Cat Day to my sweet Kiki 💕 She was such a cute kitten!

[whereimnot]

[whereimnot]

Things I say too often

• OK

• I don’t know

• Yep

[whereimnot]

last night you sang holding on for life while i studied the cut on your ring finger.

later we laid in bed listening to the storm, heads filled with your smoke and our 2 a.m. tiredness, holding on for love.

[wordsnquotes]

There’s a fine line between thinking about somebody and thinking about not thinking about somebody, but I have the patience and the self-control to walk that line for hours - days, if I have to.

Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad (via wordsnquotes)

[whereimnot]

little seizure 2

you weren’t there when he said help me and fell

[whereimnot]

little seizure 1

you weren’t there

[whereimnot]

waiting

on your descent

'cause i was here

before you went

winnowing

there’s much less of

closer, closer

my sweet love

[whereimnot]

less

to say,

what is left

belongs to you

[whereimnot]

always here,

the garden

outside in

you don't know where else I've been

[whereimnot]