WHEREVER LOVE

[whereverlove]

On Loving Oneself

I am exceptionally compassionate to myself. I look at the mirror and see what’s pretty in me. And when I can’t, I go to a more compassionate mirror and lighting, and see better.

Sometimes, I try to look at myself in another person’s point of you. What if another lady, so insecure and critical, would see me and focus at my legs or nose. I’d be considered ugly. But I am not insecure nor critical, I am someone who loves myself. When I look at others, I never make judgments. I think that’s enough. Maybe more than enough. Anyway, the greatest love of all is to learn to love yourself.

Who cares? And who cares about those who care?

[whereverlove]

When I Grow Up

When I grow up…

  I want to be passionate and profound. I want to be broader than my fears, bigger than my pride. I want to grow old with the feeling

that I am young enough to do anything.

  Like dance uncaringly

And drink sparingly

And hold hands with the soul I most like

And not kiss until the time is right.

  When I grow up I will take longer naps

and spend my mornings daydreaming..

Spend my mid-nights writing poetry

while enjoying how precise numbers are.

  I want to grow up patient with possibilities,

hasty with compassion,

with just enough laugh lines

but excessive witty and eccentric stories.

  I want to be wise enough

To look at the world using a little girl's eyes.

To eventually live the truth that the more I love,

the more I should know how to set free.

[whereverlove]

The Loving One

“She is a loving one.”

And I said, “Loving is the easy part.”

She gives her gifts.

She buys her milk.

She hugs her whenever she’s close.

  But… love is the easy part.

The hard part comes when she ruins your Dior lipstick

Dilutes rubbing alcohol into your drink

And still you manage to see the best in her

  The hard part comes when you pretend to

Know how to balance Discipline and Love

So that she will Grow Up

Hard and Soft at the Right Places.

  The hard part is being there at midnight moments

she’s afraid, and realizing that you are afraid, too.

  F$*# Love. Love is the easy part. Just because you Love

Doesn’t make you Deserve it.

[whereverlove]

Sometimes

Sometimes, I get to be overwhelmed by the size of my dreams that it scares me, the intensity of my desires that it pains me and the complexity of my being that it baffles me.

(And yet)

Sometimes, I get to be overwhelmed by the size of my dreams that it fires me, the intensity of my desires that it moves me and the complexity of my being that it distinguishes me.

(I wonder)

If my ‘sometimes’ can be a ‘frequent’ and my frequent can be an always and my always can be a lifetime, which ‘sometimes’ would I composed to be?

[whereverlove]

My heart still thumps like little reggae drums My hips can still wildly sway My fingers are still ready to glide, circle and run My lips were made for kissing anyway And I will get over you

[whereverlove]

Bali, Indonesia

[whereverlove]

Heartbreaks

Heartbreaks? They’re like bus ride homes and the driver delivers you to your doorstep. It gives you no choice but to say “Hi.” to mom, watch the news with dad and share your meal with your brother.

Sometimes, it’s like the marks on your class attendance sheet, completely present on some days, or completely absent, no nothing in between.

Sometimes, it’s like detention, it forces you to do the basics, like write poetry, or just simply.. think. It probes you to sleep.. and sleep.. and sleep.

Sometimes, it’s like having PE and Math on the same day, it makes you question how easily you can change to a new jumpy you and how easily can you go back to the zombie you once again.

It’s like lunch breaks with awful cafeteria food choices. Or field trips that involve sitting with the awkwardest, weirdest kid in school.

And you somehow wish it’s like graduation day --- you get to finish it with honor and then completely get over it after a while.

Heartbreaks. It’s uncool like school.

[whereverlove]

Still

It was an afternoon of hope and dreams when I first heard the beat of your words and the melody of  your voice. And smitten, I was. You spoke with answers I have questioned life before. And over and over again, my eyes seek for the approval your glances sign to the invisible book I write whenever I listen to the precepts of your thoughts.

Unexpectedly, you held my hand and kissed me back, as if the book has found its happy ending.

But it was just a beginning of an ending that soon came by, you flew that morning, bagged your hopes and dreams. And as days go by, I lost you. Your voice uneasy and your words came few. And your thoughts was locked on the other side of the door and I knocked but most times, I cannot come through.

No more hand to hold nor cheek to kiss. But smitten, I still am.

[whereverlove]

The Bathroom

The bathroom ---

Pee, Poo, Shower. It is where, for the third time every morning, you wake yourself up and tell her, “Show up, stand up and say something.” It is where you sit down and transcribe your next poetry or speech, sweep them inside the safe corners of your cluttered mind. And most specially, it is where you can curl up to yourself so tightly, where you can cry with your ugly face, Without the fear of people coming and going questioning “Why?” when all you want is your own two arms to hug you tight, your own voice to tell you, “It’s going to be alright”. And it is where you wipe away those tears, wait until your swollen, red eyes clear, and tell yourself, “Show up, stand up and say nothing.”

[whereverlove]

I wish I can consistently have faith in people but I am very human, I am someone who is very susceptible of doubt, of fear and pessimism, of this serial discontent. But I am very susceptible also of promises, of encouragement, of optimism, of apparent, consistent love.

[whereverlove]

If I Called Today

If I called today to talk about the sea

To talk non-stop about crazy old me

If I talk about how lovely the snow falls

If I talk about no nothing at all

  When there is too many or nothing more to say

I between silence, words, tears and laughter

Is me telling you, “Hey, I miss you

Quite well.”

[whereverlove]

Sometimes

  Sometimes, I get to be overwhelmed

by the size of my dreams that it scares me,

the intensity of my desires that it pains me

and the complexity of my being that it baffles me.

  Sometimes, I get to be overwhelmed

by the size of my dreams that it fires me,

the intensity of my desires that it moves me

and the complexity of my being that it distinguishes me.

  (I wonder)

  If my ‘sometimes’ can be a ‘frequent’

and my ‘frequent’ can be an ‘always’

and my ‘always’ can be a ‘lifetime’,

which ‘sometimes’ would I composed to be?

[whereverlove]

Because of the pressures brought about by an FSCC meeting and other additional responsibilities, I got unbelievably drained last Tuesday that resulted to me losing my patience to a few people in my life, got into a cutesy quarrels with my three-year old niece Fiama and the Don.

Got to be mindful of how stress affects me ‘cause at the end of the day, losing patience might mean losing love.

[whereverlove]

Hello to the Risks I’m Willing to Take

Hello to the risks I’m willing to take Of worries, fear, inside I wake Make me dream of dreams that creep and stay through further nights and further days Hello to dawns that turn late nights High heels thump on second’s plight Counting stars as I count mistakes Bounded by the risks I take If I'm designed by the life I lead Measured, shaped by the hearts I freed But every time I try to move Are web of risks that hold and hook Hello to hurt, hello to pain To sunny days I’m soaked in rain But if I try not to try at all The glass half-filled might dry at fall Hello to the risks I’m willing to take Of hope and faith, inside I wake Make me live a life that comes and goes Into further worlds I’m yet to know

[whereverlove]

Lovely Le Cirque 😍

[whereverlove]

Look how they shine for you.

[whereverlove]

Pink and pretty #Gili #Indonesia