don't go into marine biology my dad was a marine biologist and he got eaten by an imitation crab

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@whilegay
don't go into marine biology my dad was a marine biologist and he got eaten by an imitation crab
Anyone who's ever done anything creative needs to fucking see this.
Because the video is gone everywhere but my memories and reblogs.
[Video ID:
Two men crocheting, with text reading "When your friend gives you some tough love"
Kevin: "Wow Ryan, that looks so good!"
Ryan, hesitantly: "You think so?" He has the beginning of a crochet square on his hook.
Kevin: "Yeah!"
Ryan, after a beat: "its not as good as yours..."
The camera pans out to a long crochet chain of the squares Kevin had completed.
Kevin: "Oh, no, don't say that! Yours is really good too!"
Ryan: "Nah"
Kevin: "Ryan, i mean it. Your really good at this."
Ryan: "No, no..." Camera stays on Ryan as Kevin slaps him across the face. "Ow!"
Kevin, with a flat face in an authoritive tone: "Say it." Another slap, "Say your good."
Ryan: "okay! I'm good"
Kevin: "Say you love yourself."
Ryan: "Kevin, I don't need--" Another slap
Kevin: "Say you love yourself, maggot!"
Ryan: "Excuse me?"
Kevin then grabs Ryan by his shirt, throwing him to the ground "Give me twenty!" Ryan makes a noise upon impact with the ground.
Kevin, yelling: "Say you love yourself!"
Ryan, struggling to do push-ups: "I love myself"
Kevin: "Bullshit! Say it again!"
Ryan: "I love myself"
Kevin drags him up and holds him by the back of his shirt collar, the two facing a mirror, "Into the mirror, Private!"
Ryan, with more conviction but still under duress: "I love myself!"
"Pathetic!" He drags Ryan away from the mirror.
Kevin: "Repeat after me, maggot! I am a talented artist!"
Ryan, rushed: "I am a talented artist."
Kevin: "I am a beacon of light"
Ryan: "i am a beacon of light"
Kevin: "i am a sweet Jewish boy with a statuesque figure and a heart of pure fucking gold!"
Ryan, stuttering: "I-- I am..."
Kevin interrupts: "Just say yes!"
Ryan: "Yes!"
Kevin: "Yes what?"
Ryan: "Sir, yes sir!"
Kevin: "At ease!" He practically throws Ryan back into his chair and takes his seat back off-screen. His voice goes back to cajoling, "Good job buddy! Proud of ya!"
Ryan, in disbelief, after a moment of stunned silence: "What just happened?"
Kevin: "Just a little tough love."
Ryan, still shocked: "That was... amazing!"
Kevin: "Glad you feel better about yourself!"
Ryan, with more confidence: "I do! I feel great! You're... really good at that."
Kevin gives a dismissive "ch" and slightly shakes his head. "No, no..." Ryan slaps him.
The video ends, citing tiktok user @absoluteskitshow
End Video ID]
please god watch this right now
Can't help but giggle is my favorite genre
One of my favorite images ever ngl
you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools
to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.
Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs
[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: #If it ain't broke #Break it #With a rock /End ID]
Sysiphus if he was happy.
My name is Jakob, I’m here in my multi million dollar home with my husband, he’s also named Jakob. I’m training him like a bisexual guard dog to salivate at the command phrase “we should stop by Trader Joe’s” because he knows I’ll let him do anything to my body if he remembers to get the ghee that I purposely left off the list to test him. And you’re watching HGTV.
Put on your sash and top hat darling.... mommy needs you to preside over the city council meeting later
#mayorkink #mayorification
Image ID: A reddit notification which says “u/Deep_Sneed replied to your comment in r/CannedSardines: you should take your own life” End image ID
I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.
it is like fucking spot the differences with you people
[image 1: a getty images photo of an elderly woman sitting on a sofa. text reads, in all caps: “this post is about betty from the craft group in my grandmothers retirement village. do not derail!!”
image 2: the same image, only the getty images watermark has been edited to instead read “betty images”. /end ID]
wanted to share my favorite tiktok
this has a very Vine energy and I like it
[Video ID:
There is a poster on a store wall that says ‘Halloween is here,’ but there is a line break separating ‘Halloween’ to ‘Hallo’ and ‘Ween.’
Man behind camera: Hallo! Ween is here!
The camera pans to another man who strums a small string instrument.
Other man: I am Ween
End ID]
What’s the description leaves out is that “Hallo! Ween is here!” Is said in a very silly, perky German accent.