idk give me a minute

Reader, writer, artist. Gemini & Bi as hell. Find me on AO3 @ WhimperSoldier. Often tired and always procrastinating.

[shouty-y]

Countess & Lady Kilmartin 🌹- Prints

[shouty-y]

"Sweet mother, I cannot weave – slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl."

Prints

[munsons-mutiny]

Hollanov lie detector interview where Ilya begs beforehand to be allowed to ask every Rose Landry comparison he’s ever been insecure about, and he totally plays it out like he’s joking (he’s not).

Shane is like no! It’s embarrassing! And this is public! And you wouldn’t make me actually do that to Rose would you? You know the answer, I’m gay!

Only Rose thinks the whole thing is hilarious and gives Shane the go ahead so there’s no real reason to resist Ilya’s begging anymore, still he holds out to the day before the interview.

“Fine! Fine! You can ask about Rose, but I get to ask about anything I want too!” And Ilya’s like yes yes of course my love. His boring Shane would hardly ask anything damning.

Fast forward to the day of the interview Shane is fondly exasperated with Ilya’s Rose questions, and Ilya is being a cocky bastard so happy with how it played out.

Until they switch sides and Shane breaks out his first question:

“Is it or is it not true that despite famously calling Scott Hunter ‘a nearly extinct fossil’ you think he’s hot?” The blood drains from Ilya’s face pretty quickly after that.

“Do you think Hayden Pike is a good hockey player?”

“Do you consider Hayden Pike a close friend?”

“Who do you love more: me or Anya?”

“Besides me who is your favorite teammate?”

He gets so nervous all of his lies get caught, and by the end his asshole reputation is in shambles. Kip takes a video of Scott watching the interview and he laughs so hard he can’t even comment. It goes viral.

[argillaforma]

the whole boston team knowing about montreal jane and they think that ilya rozanov who can pull any girl he wants must have found a real baddie the way he keeps coming back for more and then hard cut to shane hollander on a friday night drinking tea and reading the same hockey book for the fourth time who when ilya texts him asking what are you wearing? texts back my new organic cotton pj set and ilya texts back i'm so hard tell me more

[ngalitzine]

2.07 | 2.08 | 3.02

[martynday]

Week 1 of @shanesummerfest! Prompt:

Yall mind if I get a little lesbian with it? Pwhl draft got me a little inspired. Also love drawing a grumpy Shane. So cute:)

[eonblueinmay]

Artist: flyora.art on ig

[vivodesdemona]

i’m addicted to making hollanov instagram posts

[nest-of-shiny-things]

every day people are out here weaving elaborate fictional narratives for nhl players meanwhile pwhl players will just straight up say shit like “we were skinny dipping with team canada while training for the olympics and a shooting star passed overhead and no one else saw it but us and we locked eyes and thus began a secret teammate romance that almost fell apart after we lost the gold medal but the next time our teams played against each other she chased down my team bus after the game to win me back and seven years later we were married and I said in my wedding vows that she was the wish I had always dreamed of and I didn’t realize it until now.” anyway true story and it happened to my girl laura stacey.

[hearteyesilya]

WIFE LINE LIVES ON BABY!!!!

[shaneybby]

shanebug photo album circa '91-93

[jesterlesbian]

everybody neeeeeds to go read this new yorker cartoon article with jacob tierney!!!!! it's so good

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (;)/?) pride edition

[hothockey]

personally i (like shane) enjoy douchebag ilya a lot.

and ☝️ i do think douchebag bisexual supreme ilya should keep a notes app list ranking all his hookups+locations and what they did and how good they were at taking his dick (sometimes complete with contact info for repeats). and ☝️ i do ALSO think the man is aware that There Is A Problem when the top of the list starts looking like:

jane, mtl, first time backdoor like a fucking champ. soaked the bed and me. moaned like dying in reverse. why do some holes feel so much better than others

jane, mtl, nose to the bush and kept me there for fucking forever. fuck

jane, mtl, begged for anal plus two fingers. bit a circle out of my throat. payback with belt to ass after. crazy brown eyes beautiful crying

jane, mtl, thick goddamn sexy thighs. four fingers touching back of the throat and moaning for more. slut slut slut

jane, mtl, two rounds----

[hrsocials]

.ninety-one :)

[grabmyboner]

ok but ignoring the fact they just forgot to cover hudsons lil gun hip tattoo let’s actually say shane has that tattoo. he got it when he scored his first hat trick and got so fucking wasted with the team for the first time ever that they convinced him to let one of their girlfriends give him a tattoo to celebrate and he’s like okey in his lil drunk haze of being around so many people but so happy and full of adrenaline and when this girl asks what he wants he goes “a gun” and someone calls out “why!” and he smiles coly and is like “because I’m a good shot” and everyone’s hootin and hollerin and someone grabs his shoulders and is shaking him and messing up his hair and he’s laughing along and then after a minute the girl comes with a little sketch of a gun and goes “where do you want it?” and he starts to freak a bit because oh is he really going to do this and then the girl is like “what about on your hipbone? that’s hot” and she obviously flirting even shane realises that but then an old timer on the team (bros like 29) that shane secretly has a crush on is like “hell yeah rookie, girl is right that’s hot as fuck” and shane just nods in agreement and then he’s being positioned by the girl and suddenly his sweats are pulled down below his hipbone and a stencil of the gun is pressed to his hip and he doesn’t really remember much after that but he does remember waking up with it and thinking i wonder what Rozanov will say and then pinching himself at that thought.

[johnny-depp-is-loved]