Jasper had started his shift as the Creeper Police feeling dubious about his abilities as a Creeper Police. Given Wes’s short lived confusion on whether Jasper was the creeper or not, Jasper probably should have stayed dubious about it. However, a bunch of fireball in, and he was pleasantly fuzzy and feeling pretty confident that, if all else failed, he could just go take a drunk nap on a creeper and odds were they’d be stuck until he woke up. He was Creep Police personified. No half measures. Drunk-awesome Jasper could ward off some sad hormonal virgins. If he’d been a more philosophical lush, he’d probably have philosophized on his kinship with said sad hormonal virgins, because he too had been many kinds of lame as a teenager.
Drunk Jasper was awesome Jasper though. He even had it on record from Juni. The kinship was dead. Ish. Possibly resurrected when sober.
He was humming tunelessly, side-eyeing a potential creeper who was probably just looking for marshmallows to roast or something, when the announcements started to be read out. He took an ill timed swig of his drink and nearly choked to death on angry apples when the camp counselor announced that he would be mentoring someone named Savannah and someone named Sophie… with Juni.
Had he actually died, he was sure he would have had the most epic epitaph.
As it stood, Juniper took off to yell at the counselor, and Jasper rolled into the sand cackling like a mad creature made to cackle. For no reason other than this seemed like the only remotely reasonable response to this turn of events. Great joke. Good joke. Ahhh, heads would roll.
Juniper’s sauced up return ended the hilarity, and Jasper was promptly out of the sand, covered in the sand, but considering either making a mad dash for his life, or potentially using his creeper restraining method on Juniper until she calmed down.
Who was he kidding, that would never happen.
And the fact that this wasn’t a joke was nooooot looking good. Fuck shit damn.
“I am very glad I’m like twice your size right now, but still don’t hit me,” Jasper said, eyeing the bottle in her hand and hoping that she wasn’t going to throw it at his head or something. He made a T motion with his hands, like, truce, time out, please don’t kill me, I want to live. Juniper was the definition of tiny but mighty. But actually not that tiny. “Doesn’t mean we’re on the same team, I don’t think, so I can still win this thing.”
He smiled a drunky drunk smile, even though he’d probably said the wrong thing. “An’ maybeeeee, they’ll change their minds. Or we could petition. You wanted to be a lawyer, do the petition thingie.”
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