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// Arlen // she/her // is beatha atá uisce

[whiskeyote]

am not tough

don't overcome to win

survival is a habit

you see fight

I know weary

you praise my zest

not understanding

the bottom heavy feeling that rights me

when knocked down

again, again, again

gravity never wins

equal parts buoyant

and drowning.

[whiskeyote]

might never get over this one

[whiskeyote]

sometimes the weirdest coincidences point you in a direction and affirm things

like why did Matt buy the Exact and weirdly specific USB cable that I've needed to replace on my shure mic adapter for months for himself and then it turns out it didn't fix the problem he was having?

anyways my mic setup works again and I feel really happy about it

I have a shitty lil laptop but idgaf I'm gonna record some new stuff even if it's just drafts

[whiskeyote]

home again and things are different

I feel inspired I think

[whiskeyote]

baby's first leg wax today 😬 lmaoooo

[whiskeyote]

1 week til 2 of my best friends get married and 11 days til I'm in the arms of my love :3

Spending today getting some of my duckies in a row, because next week is going to be unbridled chaos.

[whiskeyote]

I wish I was in Montréal rn I feel that my boy and I need each other more than ever :(

feeling emotional abt it rn

[whiskeyote]

this has been a brutal 36 hours

I just want to not feel like death warmed over pls

[whiskeyote]

nooOoooOo today has been so brutal for pain causing nausea causing low blood sugar causing more nausea causing me to take stronger meds than usual so I can eat AND THEN LOSING TO NAUSEA after 16 HOURS

I want off this ride lmaooooo fml

my blood sugar is in the pits of hell and there is nothing I can do about it

tomorrow is a new day and my god I hope it's better lol

[immortalbeingz]

[blood-orange-juice-deactivated2]

[daphneorsmthng]

[whiskeyote]

Hardest work day ever. Adrenaline spike and crash so bad I dry heaved for 5 entire minutes when I got home. On the one hand, the knowledge that things could have gotten really ugly. That I was by myself at the shop. On the other hand, the relief that I was responsive/quick enough and physically able to stop a dog as big as I am from hurting any of the others. It was dog fight salad in there with 0 warning and I'm so grateful nobody was hurt, myself included.

2 things that brought me immense comfort when I got home today: my wonderful and talented service dog and my boyfriend's hoodie. I am but a simple creature.

[whiskeyote]

Camas 🥰

[ymutate]

Francis Hamel (British Artist, born 1963)

"Great Cedar", 2016.

Oil on Linen, 122 × 102 cm.

Private Collection.

[whiskeyote]

mmmm 🥰 today is a good day

[whiskeyote]

spring cleaning crunch time vibes up in this household

thank goodness cause the state of my place was starting to make my eye twitch 😂 winter wasn't physically that hard this year (relatively speaking) but my ability to make myself do responsible adult things apart from going to work was in the negatives in a big way

so we haulin' ass with T minus 48 hours to spare before Matt arrives and I work tomorrow LOL rip

[whiskeyote]

I see my batto in 1 week and jesse welles in 9 days and I am So looking forward to both of these things 🥰🥰🥰

[whiskeyote]

a hug at the kitchen sink

you were washing dishes, the coffee cups and morning plates

thin white curtain lazily played in the breeze, gentle, Montréal whispering her city sounds through the cracked window

I pulled you close and pressed my cheek between your shoulder blades, closed my eyes, drank you in.

"...that never happened to me before"

(you told me nearly a year later)

the hesitation in your dish washing wasn't that I interrupted you, like I'd assumed

you were taking in the experience

you were letting yourself be loved

and unbeknownst to me

you committed it to memory.