Hi

Just blogging

[heronb]

ok not to be adhd on main but if you even JOKINGLY make fun of me for my interests thats it. i wont ever be able to trust you again because im positive youre constantly judging me and making fun of me behind my back. thats just the way it is!!

[heronb]

to all the people vaguing people in the tags: get better friends

[heronb]

it ABSOLUTELY is, adhd and autistic experiences overlap so so much and i have both so this post is solidarity

[quinintheclouds]

If I may add, as an ADHD person if you insult (even jokingly) something I enjoy, I will no longer enjoy that thing as much. Every time I watch that show you called cringe I remember that you did that. You said the writing was unfunny, so now I don’t laugh at the jokes as much, even alone, and I feel like I shouldn’t enjoy it anymore if it’s bad. (And then I also believe you think I’m unfunny and my sense of humor is just bad) So I have to rationalize “Ok I know this part is awkward but I like it a little sometimes” in my head to justify my enjoyment, and that just makes the whole experience less fun. I’ll never express strong interest in something around you again. 

Sharing hyperfixations is a VULNERABLE act of trust, and if it goes badly, we just go right back to being ashamed of being happy.

[adhdstudybitch]

I posted this on an adult adhd group on fb and I wanted to post it here too, on the off chance it might help someone.

As ADHDers most of us struggle a lot with emotional regulation, and as a result end up feeling like our emotions are too much. Well, I had therapy today and I mentioned this to my therapist, and she kind of paused and said “are they, though?”. My immediate reaction was “yes they are, normal people don’t react this way to small things.” So she walked me through my most recent instances of big emotions, and for each instance she said “what’s under this? Why do you think your emotions responded this way?”

When I thought about it I was surprised to find that in every situation there was something underneath it: a past trauma, times people pushed me away for being too much when I was just being myself, feeling isolated from my peers, lonely, not receiving the love and care I needed to grow, etc. The fact is, a lot of us are traumatized because growing up being treated like who we are is wrong is traumatizing in and of itself. 

My therapist went on to say “your emotions aren’t too much. It’s possible that the way you act upon them outwardly might not always be appropriate, but the emotions themselves are understandable given your past experiences. I’m going to challenge you, when you have big emotions, to reflect on them and remove the phrase “too much”.

I cried. There are a lot of wounds I - most of us, really - are still trying to heal from and my emotions are okay even when they don’t feel good. It’s my responsibility to be aware of how I react to them and how that reaction might effect others, but the emotions themselves are not the problem. They’re a natural and justified reaction to trauma.

(This post talks about ADHD but it applies to a bunch of other neurodivergences too, so feel free to reblog/comment if you can relate) 

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

no one needs to add “sounds fake but ok”, “no”, “well, not me”, “impossible”, etc. to this post. and i’d rather you not.

[duckbunny]

one day you think: I want to die.

and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book.

and I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun

I want a cleaner kitchen

I want a better job

I want to live somewhere else

I want to live

[raevenlywrites]

The thing is... "I want to die" is just a mistranslation. It's more like "I want this to stop. And I see no other way to make it stop. This seems endless. I can't bear the thought of facing this forever."

And if you're lucky, you go to sleep and tomorrow just feels numb instead of wretched.

If you're lucky, and maybe have a bit of help, you get through another day, and another. You get some much needed rest. You get a fucking reprieve from the wretched ordeal of existing.

If you're lucky, "This seems endless" doesn't seem so endless. You sleep enough times to get to days that feel neutral, or at least not as unbearably bad.

If you're lucky, you see a bit of light. It's small. It seems so insignificant. You want something for what feels like the first time in forever.

Maybe it's just wanting to go to bed, instead of collapsing into bed because what's the point of staying up. Maybe it's wanting a bowl of the cereal you used to eat as a kid. The urge to rewatch your favorite movie. The desire to put in a specific shirt. So small, but it's the first time you can remember wanting something, anything, in so long.

Those wants grow bigger. Now you've hit the "a coffee, a book, a nap" listed above. But it seems to cruel to ignore the depthless gap that is the chasm between "I just want it all to stop" and "actually, I do want this one small thing."

Living in that in between space can feel so hopeless. I will not let it be glossed over. Those living in between the space of "I want to die" and "I want a sandwich", I see you. You're on here because a part of wants to remember what it's like to want something. I'm sorry life has taken your wanting away. But I promise it's not gone forever. It can come back. I promise I promise I promise. You will want something else again someday. You will. Yes, even you. I promise.

[yayydhd]

Man the difference between adhd and autism is so difficult to see sometimes...

I think I might be a bit autistic as well? Maybe?

Things that might be autism that I recognize are:

- getting really frustrated when people are being vague about plans

- I have a hard time catching sarcasm and it has lead to a lot of situations where I'm very confused or reply with a serious answer and people laugh :(

- remembering people by smaller details, like a mark on someone's face, their hair, eyebrows or a piece of jewelry

- sensory issues like not being able to dry myself off with a towel because my hands are dry and I get overstimulated way too easily

Idk man it doesn't really matter. I'm doing fine with meds and tools I got from coaching.

But still interesting to think about...

[tikuri]

They have a lot of overlaping symptoms! Here is a helpful diagramm

ADHD Answers

This ADHD and Autism Venn Diagram was requested even more highly than the ADHD and PTSD diagram, and I finally got round to making it... (Cl

[emzurl]

For @mardimari HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!!! 🎉

[margomoment]

how do u tell the difference between executive dysfunction, procrastination, and laziness bc fuck idk how to

[laranoa]

Idk if you were actually looking for an answer but I talk about this with my therapist a lot so heres his wisdom:

Laziness=You don't want to do a task, so you choose not to, and you're fine with that. You either dont care if it gets done or you figure someone else will do it.

Procrastination=You want to do the task, but you put it off because it seems difficult/boring/time consuming.

Executive dysfunction=You want to do the task, and intend to at that very moment. There is no significant reason not to, but you can't because your brain is having difficulty transitioning between activities.

The key difference, he points out, is that if you experience guilt or shame from not doing it, then it's NOT laziness, because those feelings indicate, on some level, a desire to complete the task.

The latter two have more overlap imo, but for myself, I think of it as whether you are having trouble confronting the task itself, or just the transition.

[jeanjauthor]

An excellent explanation!

[novelist-becca]

You put it into WORDS

[huffylemon]

[bookcub]

Is the first two books of the kkc worth it? I own the first and I do want to start it. Especially after seeing your posts! But I don’t want to start a series that will not be completed for a long time, if ever. So I want to know if it’s worth it, knowing the last book won’t be coming for a while.

For me, it is. I'd be lying if I didn't said I didn't care about the third book but I would have rather read them with no conclusion than have never read them at all. I think they are beautiful and emotional books that speak to me in a unique way.

Some people hate not having closure, and while I would love closure, I'm glad I have read them, even if the waiting can feel unbearable some days.

With or without an ending, this book is beautiful and magical and unlike any other book I've read.

So yes, I'd recommend giving them a try!!

[yellowplumfruit]

[yellowplumfruit]

alternatively:

[mayflower-gal]

Oooo! That reminded me of this!

(Idk if OP’s comic was about ADHD specifically or not though, sorry to hijack if it wasn’t <3)

[autistic-af]

Just a reminder that if you have mental health issues, or are neurodivergent or both, it's 100% okay to toss out the conventional ideas of housekeeping.

Use the dishes straight from the dishwasher until it's time to fill it again.

Toss your clean clothes into baskets instead of folding them.

Shop on a daily basis if a big weekly shop is too much. Use Door Dash, Uber Eats, home delivery..

Leave your bed unmade (just change the sheets regularly, so have a few sets available to you to avoid executive function issues).

You don't need to function like your parents did in order to function like you do.

[maedaeme]

god that adhd struggle where you are so motivated to do something but there is just like. A Blockage In Your Body that stops the motivation from turning into anything. so you just like. vibrate. sitting there like yeah, man, i totally want to do that right now. (doesn’t)

[maedaeme]

i posted this image on twitter like actual ages ago but it just keeps getting more relevant

[sleeping-satan]

When someone with ADHD asks you to repeat what you said when you completely forgot what you said in less than two seconds because you also have ADHD

[we-used-to-dream]

Neurotypicals: You’re making a mess

Me: Yeah but I’m also making progress

Neurotypicals: ...Fair point

[thatadhdmood]

i think i have adhd and i’m gonna go see my GP about it soon. i keep seeing “keep forgetting appointments” as a question on the questionnaires, and even the one that’s more recognised. i would forget my appointments, but when i receive them, i usually focus on them so much out of fear of forgetting that they’re always on my mind. for example i have a haircut next tuesday and since i booked it a month ago, my brain every day goes “haircut 25th may haircut 25th may haircut 25th may” and i write it EVERYWHERE when i get an appointment and it actually stops me from doing things especially closer to the time because i’m like “i can’t do anything rn i have a haircut in 5 days” ..... so, idk, does that sound like adhd? (ik u can’t say for sure)

what you are doing is a coping method to help with not forgetting appointments

the feeling of i cant do anything until that appointment is a typical adhd symptom because

with adhd time is in two stages

Now and later

So if the appointment is in later you cant do anything else later or else youll forget the appointment so your stuck waiting in now for later to come

these questionaires are basically imagine yourself on your worst day without your coping methods or any medication support

Who are you without your complicated systems youve made to mask as a functioning person?

[eosofspades]

ATTENTION ALL FELLOW ADHDERS I HAVE MADE A DISCOVERY

I DONT KNOW IF ITS ACTUALLY A DISCOVERY YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW THIS ALREADY AND IT WAS POSSIBLE THE UNIVERSE JUST WITHHELD THIS FROM ME BUT IM SHARING IT ANYWAYS

so i am sure that most of you, like myself, cannot pay attention for SHIT in zoom class or during video assignments / assignments with a lot of reading.

i cannot stress this enough: get a fidget toy

i just found my fidget spinner that i lost like two years ago (and i didn't know i had ADHD at the time) and started using it again because what the hell, yknow, i'm excessively bored.

and HOLY HELL??? i can focus???? so well??????? i am watching and reading and absorbing information now that i have something to occupy the other half of my mind but something that ISNT complex enough that i can't do both at once??? first of all: why the fuck was this information kept from me (every single adult everywhere told me they're bad and distracting and annoying) but SECOND OF ALL YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS IMMEDIATELY ITS SO HELPFULLLLL

tl;dr: get a fidget toy they help with focus and adults are LIARS

[finnglas]

I’m going to give you the best piece of Adult Life Is Hard advice I’ve ever learned:

Talk to people when things go to shit.

I don’t just mean get it off your chest, although that’s good. I mean: Something’s wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now you’re broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. We’re talking, shit got crazy and now you’re 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and you’ve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company. 

I know it’s scary. I know you feel like you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isn’t your parents; they’re just interested in getting money from you. And you can’t squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesn’t have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain you’re experiencing temporary financial hardships, and you’re currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you don’t want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten you’ll be able to negotiate something so that at least it’s not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.

- Can’t pay your power bill? Call the power company.

- Can’t pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.

- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.

- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesn’t help, talk to your advisor.

You may not be able to fix everything, but you’ll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, it’s possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, don’t be afraid to google things like, “I can’t pay my power bill [state you live in]” because you’d be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. There’s no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, they’ll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because you’ve talked to them and made an agreement, you won’t get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score won’t completely tank.

Here’s some helpful tips to keep in mind:

1. Be polite. Don’t demand things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles they’ll go for someone who is nice to them.

2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are they’re not really interested in the details. “We had several family emergencies in a row, and now I’m having trouble making the payments” is better than “Well, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my account’s in the negatives and I don’t know how I’m gonna get it back out.” The person you’re talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they don’t need the details to prove you’re somehow “worthy” of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.

3. Ask questions. “Is there anything we can do about X?” “Would it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so it’s not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?” The answer may be “no.” That’s not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution. 

Anyway! I hope that helps! Don’t just assume the answer is “no” before you’ve even begun. There is more help out there than you ever imagined.

[brekkie-bing]

Kvothe doodles

I had to repost them bc they didn’t appear in the tags, and I couldn’t edit the post tags?? Idk why so they’re here again