I get up, think to myself how much there is to do today, anxiety takes over and my brain can’t handle it so I shut it all out. Do it later I tell myself as I dose off, it’s easier to dose off back to sleep. I open my eyes and it’s too late to do any of my house chores, I feel so guilty, so lazy, this brings my mood down to zero! There’s nothing I can do now, I tell myself. I’ll defo one hundred percent do it tomorrow, I’ll even put a phone reminder on to make sure I do it!
Why? Is this depression? Anxiety? Pure laziness? Fatigue? I do have fibromyalgia so I ask myself could it be an episode of extreme fatigue?! Or should I be honest with myself and just tell myself it’s my sleeping routine, it’s messed up, that’s all it is! I mean when I sleep at night and wake up early and sleep again, I feel productive during the day. So clearly it’s just my routine. But it’s so hard to maintain a routine, especially when its lockdown.
Sometimes the explanation isn’t as complicated as you think it may be. Sometimes it’s just as simple as a change in routine rather than a symptom of your condition (not that it can’t be that, or both!) I’m rambling on now.. so I’ll jus end this by saying, just give yourself a break! Mentally. Take a step back, rejuvenate, start a timetable and leave gaps, lots of them!, for the days where you experience the above! I mean that way, it’s all part of the timetable, part of the routine. It’ll mentally be easier to deal with.
I don’t know if any of the above makes any sense whatsoever, i just went on a roll. 🙃
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