If You’re Out There @wholehearted-ifyoureoutthere - Tumblr Blog

You annoyed me today. I’m not sure what it was. The energy felt so weird. Was it everyone else in the room? Was it you? Was it me? I don’t know. It felt like I was someone else in there and no one to you. I couldn’t wait to leave the room. Also, I noticed that thing you do with your hair. How you pull it away from your face. It almost made me succumb to your uncanny aura today. W, I hate you. -D

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#w #d

Darling I promise that I won’t run

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It's been years since I've seen you. I bet you don't even remember me 😂 but I wanted to say thank you for being there for me that semester of Spanish we shared in college. I was so awkward and you were so nice and understanding. You were a blessing for me that semester. I did have a little crush on you but it didn't mean much and you had a girlfriend. It was just nice to have someone to talk to when I was so terrible at being open and outgoing. Thank you and I hope you are well wherever you are and whatever you are doing. I will always be grateful 💕

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Today I told the girl I like that I can’t see myself with her because beside all my problems I still think about you and I am scared I will never erase your hands from my soul. I realized she really likes me when she said “it’s okay to be scared you’ve lost something that made you feel secure in the world and I’ll be by your side as you heal grief and loss is complex”. I did lose the only thing that made me feel secure. It hurts. S

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#s

I miss you a lot. When I get an email from you I feel butterflies just like the ones you gave me 3 years ago this time. It hurts so much to miss you. They say it’s part of moving on but I don’t think I want to move on from you.

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Stay safe. Take care of yourself. Stop engaging in fights, stop drinking, stop taking drugs, stop wasting your life. Take care. R.

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#r

i had fallen for u, hard. i couldn’t tell u, not after what u did, u betrayed me and u didn’t have the decency to apologize. i know u regretted it and i would have forgiven u. why couldn’t u have given us a chance? just as i’ve given u chances time and time again. it hurts to know u still care because i know we’ll never be together again.

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Today I beat someone up. I never ever did this I never even considered this. But they talked so bad about me. And then how the way I am pushed you away. And I got so mad. I couldn’t stop punching the guy. I emailed you when I was drunk and I know you ignored it because you knew I’d want you to. I was honest tho. But I got into a fight today and I know how much you hate those. No one should ever use your name it’s too precious I won’t have it. S

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#s

I feel so selfish when I think about how I want to run away from my life and be with you. Get to know your smell, run into your arms everyday. Snuggle up with you drinking hot chocolate watching the snow fall. Thinking about how these songs are what I think of and feel about you. I don’t want to complicate things or make them awkward between us. I’m scared you’ll think I’ve been at this a while? But it’s more like it was gradual I realized “Wow. I might want to marry this person. We’re both men, but I want to be the same best friends we are, but with kisses, cuddles, and tears. I want to be old with you and kissing your knuckles remembering so many wonderful things. It scares me to know these dreams can be crushed if I confess to you. I love you so much I’m sure the heartbreak would be too much for me. Mahbe I’m just stressed and crazy? That I want you so bad? I wish I knew, and I wish you knew too, just how badly I want to kiss you, learn about and love each part of you, down to those gorgeous light brown eyes of yours. I am pining hard for you my love. I hope and pray that you get the same feelings in your chest as me. That you think of me as much as I think l of you. That you check my socials as much as I checked yours. I love you so much I wanna cry sometimes.

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dear t.o, i really like you. i think you might like me too but imnot sure. all i know is that im willing to stay up incredibly late just so i can talk to you. my heart goes wild at every notification. youre gorgeous and sweet and kind and funny and interesting. i hope this is reciprocated cuz well :)) - m.m

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#to #mm

I will never ever come back to you. Consider me dead.

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I miss you. So much. You’re at the center of my thoughts every single day. I hope there comes a day where we’re together again.

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#s

S, I haven’t lied. You do have forever to show up. My thoughts are the same. I’m still waiting for something real from you. Even if we’re no longer talking that doesn’t mean I’m no longer waiting for you to make THE move. R.

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#s #r

i just want to say how much i adore you, love you, miss you and want to kiss you. you’re the love of my life. no matter what you say or do, my love never changes and it scares me. having feelings is scary. i am so in love with you. i would give anything just to make you happy. you deserve happiness, you deserve everything. i wish you could see this, my love. my heart races whenever i think about you, dream about you, daydream about you. i want you.

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C,

you make my heart stop. i really miss you. can’t wait to see you <3

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#c

To my soon to be ex roommate, whom I've nicknamed the beast for your monstrous personality and behavior. I hope you get the help you need, and you pay more attention to your pets after I'm gone. Your dog is so stressed, she's barely living-please be merciful and try to fix that or put her down. Your two cats would love nothing more than to run away with me, because you pay them no mind. Not to mention the fact that you tried to gaslight me, and I caught you in it. You're the kind of person they make horror movies about, and I genuinely hope someone makes you realize how awful you are. I hope you get fired for using my PTSD against me despite where you work, and for borderline being abusive. I hope your clients speak up, and damn you to never work in social work or the medical field again. You're rotten to the core, and I scare you because I've called out your flaws & refuse to let you treat me like an insect or a toy. Fuck you. May your bacon always be undercooked or burnt. May you never be satisfied again. Let your life rot, the way you've let your actions and mind rot. I can't wait to be done, because then you'll be dead to me and I can forget this miserable paragraph in my life. And yeah, I'm upset. I'm upset that you lied, and made yourself out to be something you're not. I'm upset that you'll do it again. Most of all, I'm upset that you've gotten away with it for so long.

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I always feel like you watch my social media to check up on me and idk how to feel about it

It’s just a ehhh at this point bc I don’t have feelings for you anymore

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