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@whoslithers-blog
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recklessrose.
Guilt had been piling up on her shoulders for days. Weeks, if she was being honest. Work had been hellish ( Lilli couldn’t remember the last time she’d managed to get anything close to a full night’s sleep - between the cases and the nightmares that followed ), and perhaps she hadn’t handled the lack of time so well. No perhaps about it, Dem had almost been neglected recently. Her work had never been a problem for them before, so she figured it was a matter of time before it was ( after all, it ALWAYS was in the end ).
So when Dem stopped being warm, when things weren’t smiles and kisses and teasing, Lilli couldn’t help but begin to fear the worst regarding their relationship. The long silences, the feeling of something out of place, unspoken, pushed her to ask. Because everyone in the past would have been furious at the lack of communication; people had broken up with her for less than this. Demetrius had been so patient with her.
The longer the silence dragged on for, the more time Lilli had to brace herself for the conflict that was about to arise, and the more convinced she was that it was going to happen. But it didn’t. When he spoke, there wasn’t anger in his tone. Exhaustion, maybe, and something else. Not something she’d ever heard in him before, so she couldn’t be certain.
❛ … Sorry. ❜ For asking. For putting her insecurities on him ( not that she was convinced she had been what Demetrius deserves ). For a lot of things. Her voice is soft. ❛ Is there anything I can do? I could leave. ❜ Please don’t ask me to leave. ❛ But I’d like to stay, if you don’t mind the company. ❜
🌹┊❛ @whoslithers / HERE.
he usually would prefer to be alone; for reasons unknown, expressing the more sensitive emotions, especially that of vulnerability made him feel uncomfortable. as though he was a gaping wound exposed to the air around him; like being watched under a microscope. a strange feeling for someone usually so honest about all else. then again, there was a difference between being honest and unguarded.
this was a first time in a while that he genuinely cared about how a relationship was going. not that he treated women callously before, it was just something much deeper than he was usually involved in. actually, this relationship wasn’t initially meant to be so... serious ( ??? ). he isn’t afraid of that at all. commitment isn’t what makes him nervous. what’s making him the slightest bit anxious right now is continuing to make her believe it’s her fault. it isn’t a squeezing in his chest, or a heavy burden on his shoulders. it’s guilt, which isn’t a great feeling either.
“ you have nothing to be sorry about. ----- i don’t mind if you stay. ” he felt allowing her to stay would ease away the guilt; maybe it wasn’t the best motivation to allow her to stay, but it was something. whether he admitted to it or not, he has missed her and he has wanted her there in some way or another. “ do you want to come sit next to me ? ” he shifted aside, casting another glance over his shoulder, making an effort to lift the corners of his lips into a faint smile.
Why it takes me long to reply.
the vaccines lyric starters
originallypenned:
“ i could have fell to the floor. ”
“ you talk to me, and it goes over my head.”
“ so, let’s go to bed before you say something real.”
“ let’s go to bed before you say how you feel.”
“ nothing on my mind but you. ”
“ i’m hanging on to what i don’t know. ”
“ ‘cause it’s you, it’s always you. ”
“ oh, i always knew. it’s you. ”
“ i can barely look at you. ”
“ didn’t we say we had a deal? ”
“ didn’t i say how bad i’d feel? ”
“ who said i would not understand? ”
“ what did you expect from post break-up sex? ”
“ maybe i misunderstood. ”
“ i can’t believe you’re feeling good from post break-up sex? ”
“ oh, i could bore you with the truth. ”
“ but, i’m too self-absorbed to give a clout. ”
“ i don’t really care about anybody else when i haven’t gotten my own life figured out. ”
“ there’s no hope. ”
“ i know, i am so self-obsessed, i guess. ”
“ i could bet that you don’t believe, if i said it came from deep within me.”
“ i wish that i was comfortable in my own skin. ”
“ the whole thing feels like an exercise and trying to be someone i would rather not be. ”
“ i hope it’s just a phase. ”
“ there’s desperately no hope. ”
“ for goodness sake, let us be young. ”
“ time gets harder to outrun. ”
“ put a wetsuit on, come on. grow your hair out long. ”
“ you’re all whacked out from lack of sleep. ”
“ you blame it on the friends you keep. ”
“ does holy water make you pure? ”
I highly recommend you follow the person I reblogged this from.
Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.
Buddha (via fyp-philosophy)
plusieurspersonnes.
&& @whoslithers ;; SC
“ Shhh! There! Right there, that’s a consciously integrated fathom by which– ooh, what’s this? “ Attention is taken by the plate of cupcakes lain about on the table before her. So beautifully decorated, the frosting a most pretty shade of pink! Cherry on top & all, oh, how could she resist? “ Oh, this is absolutely wondrous! How do such tiny beings create such marvelous delights? “
demetrius isn’t quite sure why he was supposed to keep watch over this woman, only that he and mally’s friends emphasised it was of utmost importance that they not lose sight of her. although acting as baby sitter wasn’t a most fond task to him, the snake counted it as a favour done and that could be bought back at a time of need.
“ i recommend the carrot cake. it’s delightful. ”
"How long are you going to be mad at me?"
it’s a while; longer than it would usually take for him to spare her a glance over his shoulder, dark hues settling on her. it’s not warm but it isn’t cold either. he acknowledges she’s there but he isn’t being as welcoming as he usually is. it doesn’t help either that without a word, he turns his head once more to face the other way, head bowing and shoulders hunched as he shifts forward.
it isn’t that demetrius is upset with her; actually, he’s not upset with her at all. however, as straight forward and as uninhibited as he is, he finds it difficult to convey the simplest of reassurances at this time. probably because he’s well aware that even if he says he’s fine and it isn’t her at all, the tone and the body language and the lack of general warmth would convey an opposite message. during this time of year, it always seems it’s him who takes it the hardest. even his father was better at setting the grief aside. it took him a few years, of course, but he got at a better place.
meanwhile, the silence has swelled and there’s tension. but before lilli could have another opportunity to speak, he slices through the silence, tone low and muffled as he runs his hand over his face.
“ i’m not mad at you, lilli. —-i apologise. i’m not great company right now. ” // @recklessrose + MEME
"What happens to anything beautiful?" - Hannibal
“ —- it withers. the only thing beautiful things are good at: dying, fading, rotting. ” // @tuppencetrinkets + MEME
"I am no one; I am nothing. " Petra
“ is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night ?? if so, it won’t work. ” // @tuppencetrinkets + MEME
pulling me back into the flames and I’m burning up again, I’m burning up
cassandramchale.
Her face softens. It’s not that she still isn’t angry or that she suddenly agrees with him, but it helps to know that her friend cares. No matter how many times she hits him.
“No…i-it’s fine. That’s what I wanted. I just don’t BELIEVE you. He’s always so nice to me. What makes you think he’s such a prick?”
“ he’s nice to you, cass because he wants a date. guys hide things from girls but guys don’t hide much from fellow guys. so, it isn’t that i think he’s a prick. he is a prick. ” he leans back in his seat, shrugging his shoulders. “ whatever you do cass is up to you. if he turns out to be good for you, then you’ve proven me wrong. which on second thought might just give you motivation to pursue this... but, like i said, it’s up to you. ” demetrius, without a doubt, acknowledges that cass can take care of herself well enough but it doesn’t mean that he won’t warn her, and won’t be pissed if something were to happen that would harm her in some way. “ where’s he going to take you ?? ”
Please reblog this if you’re someone who would be interested in roleplaying polyamorous relationships.
stellarstephi.
❛ Is that what she told you? Yikes… ❜ Not many people can pick up on her tone when she’s teasing, so the line between banter and being rude is very thin, but Stephi doesn’t pay much attention to that, especially as he’s trying to play the DUMB card. That bit earns him a small eyebrow raise, but she’s reaching for the nearest, sweetest looking treat all the same. ❛ Nothing that you could have put in pastries. ❜
“ she does say strange things like ---- ‘ dem, you’re so charming. ‘ or, ‘ dem, could you be any more lovely? ’. it’s a little much. ” no, lilli hasn’t said any of that. if she ever did, it might have been a drunk dancing around the living room night. “ good, then because i baked way too much and i need someone to start wolfing some of this down. i was experimenting. ”
cassandramchale.
She says NOTHING, staring for a full minute before characteristically hitting him in the arm.
“–And here I thought you’d be HAPPY for me. It’s just one date, Dem. Seriously, what’s so wrong with him?”
cue the exaggerated ow before rolling his eyes and releasing a sigh. “ come on, cass. if you want me to be happy about you going out with some prick and making a huge mistake then you can just imagine i have a whopping grin on my face.
----- look, it’s your choice, cass. but, you asked for my opinion so i’m telling you the truth. ”
“ to the contrary, actually. that doesn’t sound appealing at all. actually, that’s gross and you should absolutely avoid doing that. ” // open.
“ wow... that sounds like quite the predicament. ... --- sorry, can’t help you. lemon tart ? ” // open.