ojovivo
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
JBB: An Artblog!
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
pixel skylines
sheepfilms
trying on a metaphor
wallacepolsom
Claire Keane
Andulka
DEAR READER
@theartofmadeline
d e v o n
RMH
KIROKAZE
Kaledo Art
tannertan36
roma★
Xuebing Du
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
@whyamisolatetotheparty
mad about laila edwards being 4OA? turn that frustration into effort and donate to a charity to help uplift black women in hockey! i donated to black girl hockey club, but feel free to add any other organizations benefiting women of color in sports!
Hollanov hug ❤️
> turns on my computer
> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default
> opens my email
> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default
> launches a software
> disables a new AI fea
every time i remember that photo of the little inuk girl with her puppy i engage in inconsolable hysterics
this is it. this is the photo of all time
Comfy even
I'm all for Ilya picking up Shane in a sexual scenario. H o w e v e r, I do believe Shane is the one picking Ilya up in any other context. Ilya fell asleep while they were watching tv? Shane is carrying him to bed. Ilya refusing to go somewhere and stomping his foot and being stubborn? Shane throws him over his shoulder and carries him kicking and screaming. Ilya hurt his ankle while they were playing football at the cottage? Shane is carrying him inside and coddling his ass (he's fine but he's acting like he just got shot).
Which is why myshane is the one carrying myilyushka into the house after their wedding with the Pike kids.
this is the vibe i bring to the party actually
Baby Shane playing imaginary hockey and then pausing to give imaginary press interviews where he just says things like "gotta put pucks in the net" in his tiny little 7 year old voice.
ilya responds to ig q&a questions that say ‘whats it like to be a fucking f*ggot?’ with a picture of shane in a backwards cap and a white tshirt casually lifting the hem to wipe his mouth with one hand so his abs are exposed while he’s holding ilyas hand with the other, with the text ‘VERY AWESOME 😍👍’
The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.
Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…
“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”
There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.
“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.
“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”
The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.
“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”
Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.
“Say that again.”
Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.
“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”
Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.
“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”
And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men
Paint’n studies I did on my Wii U gamepad earlier in the year.
on your what
#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.
#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.
He’s had a rough day…
i love the “hollanov has a crush on carter vaughn” take not necessarily in a “i think they would invite him to watch” way but more in a “ilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their ‘would’ list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so he’s like “are you guys asking?” and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him “absolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband ever” and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like “that doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?” but vaugh genuinely is just like “rozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievement” and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like “#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishing” despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with it” way
carter vaughn laying on his stomach near the center of the ice on the admirals side kicking his feet and holding his head in his hands while he blows kisses to hollanov during warmups.
shane is horrifically embarrassed by this and can not meet vaughns eyes or even his body, he refuses to look at him period.
ilya laughed for damn near 5 minutes and was doubled over coughing at one point fully crying, he is delighted by this and once hes through his warmups that shane wont let him skip he skates to center ice and does the exact same thing, kicking his feet in the air, blowing kisses, little finger waves, winking at vaughn. they dont say a word the whole time they just do these actions like flirting cartoon characters stuck on loop.
the centaurs are also delighted by this, despite the knowledge that vaughn is at the top of the couples “would” list this is the incident that earns vaughnny the nickname “boyfriend” among the team. they’re playing new york? will you guys be seeing your boyfriend? new york lost the game last night? hows your boyfriend taking it? someones family member is taking a trip to new york city? hey can you guys text your boyfriend and ask for recommendations for places to eat?
the admirals give vaughn as many opportunities to drag this bit up as possible because they find it hilarious, with the exception of scott who regards this whole thing like a curse cast upon him that will last long after his death. media days are the worst for scott especially because ever since the media learn about this stupid joke they’ll get questions about it. scott any comments on the rumors that your alternative captain carter vaughn is getting between the marriage of shane hollander and ilya rozanov? he is not, vaughn does not like men. scott is there any expected tension between the admirals and the centaurs at your game next week because of carter vaughns public flirting with the couple? should the media be expecting a fight between your alternate captain and the hockey husbands? i personally dont think you should be expecting a fight if he’s flirting with both of them, but this might become a thing for hollander and rozanov and i think vaughn wouldnt mind egging it on. scott do you think your co captain has a chance of entering a relationship with shane hollander and ilya rozanov and if so how would this effect the team dynamics within the admirals? i dont think vaughnny could handle all that even if he did like men.
carter vaughn starts getting chirped at about it, if its in a homophobic way he’ll note down the name and ask for a placement from hollander and roz, and the next game he plays against that player when they inevitably bring it up again he’ll look them dead in the eyes, give them their ranking, and why hollanov wouldnt touch them with a hazmat suit on. its his second favorite thing to do, and ilya is a strong fan of this game too. this gets added to the list of reasons why vaughn is hollanovs #1 choice because ilya enjoys it so much, and privately shane delights in someone else delivering his genuine thoughts on bad hockey players with awful habits so he doesnt have to be the one to say it.
Thank you divorce for all you've done for music
sister post to this
