I got bored so I made some teams for the DT pokémon gym leader concept I came up with a while ago.
(These teams could probably do with a second look over, I just whipped these up for fun! These are final teams.)
Jerry: "Strategy? You ask me about fucking STRATEGY?! I have VERMIN Pokémon, you understand?! I should be glad the kids that challenge my gym aren't after my JOB. This is DEGRADING.
They GAVE me these dirty birds and rats, ya understand? I didn't ASK for this damned TYPE. So many SICK DOG POKÉMON."
Randy: "W-Well, my pokémon are kinda like me. Fragile. So, m-my go-to strategy is to hit hard and as FAST as possible before my opponent can shatter my delicate bird team into smithereens!
Mathematically, it's gotta be better to hit FIRST, y-y'know?"
Oliver: "Yo! My pokémon are BUILT for ROBOT FIGHTS and they're made of METAL, so they're sturdy as SHIT. I usually just go nuts, goin' on an all-out offensive with the gnarly and expertly assembled movesets of yours truly!
I'll get to throw everything I have at you while you can barely chip away at my pokémon's metallic armor! Watch OUT!"
Karen: "My pokémon are tanky and have diverse movesets. I utilize field hazards. The rest of the world simply does NOT have what it takes to harness the true power of dirt-horse."
Bigfoot: [serene ape noises]
Gingi: "these ones are the only animals out of the awful birds and rats and such that i dragged home that decided to stick around. they seem to enjoy me tent"
God: "Personally, I like creepy pokeymen. You know the kind I mean. Mr Mime, Hypno, those freaks. They're my PEOPLE.
Why do I keep these strange beings around me? It's to psych you out, basically. All types have disadvantages, making the question of which type is best almost meaningless. So why not pick Pokémon that deals psychic damage to your OPPONENT? Aha! See? It's psychic-damage. Get it? Like the gym name.
Frankly, I just have these guys on-hand because it means that I have a LOT less people showin' up at my gym. I really just see this job as an obligation. Hell, I'd rather be snoozin' right now. Cancellation is better than Obliteration, that's my motto! Anyway, got any Prize Money?"
Mingus: "You FOOL. Do I have to SPELL IT OUT for you?!
The key to success is simple: Pick a supreme type. Assemble a team of hard-hitters. It's better if they blend into shadows easily. (I am a sinister person, to be clear!!!)
Each of my pokémon have diverse, punishing movesets. Horrible pokémon that will PUNISH you for daring to face me. If you wake me up in order to fight you at the stupid gym the Pokémon League Confederation MADE ME set up at my manor, I WILL fucking END YOU."
Theoroar: "NOW, I SAY, I FIND IT QUITE PREPOSTEROUS THAT I MUST EVEN ANSWER SUCH A FLACCID QUESTION IN GOOD FAITH AT ALL!
THE NAME OF THE GAME IS TO KNOCK YOUR OPPONENT'S ANIMALS DOWN, YES? ONCE ALL OF YOUR OPPONENT'S ANIMALS ARE DOWN FOR THE COUNT, THAT MEANS YOU'VE WON!
THEN, WHAT YOU CHIEFLY NEED IS A CREATURE WITH MARVELOUS BICEPS, AN ANIMAL THAT CAN THROW ONE MEAN LEFT HOOK! MYES!"
Stabby: "Okay, LOOK. Steel and dark were already taken when we applied to be a part of the League."
Shooty: "Yeah, we were GONNA ask for ghost, or maybe poison(?), but Mingus said we'd be a waste of a GOOD type and that people'd throw things at us if we obviously didn't deserve our type."
Stabby: "Yeah, we didn't wanna get hassled, so we let her choose the bug type for us."
Shooty: "Was she right to set us down this mediocre insect path? Ah, we'll be fucked if we know."
Stabby: "Hey. Even IF the insect stuff was all for nothin', at least it wasn't a total waste. I had a rockin' good time out in the forest, collectin' bugs with my bro, and NO cat can take that away from me!"
Little Billy: "I wanted dark, but the cat got to it first.
So, I said to myself: "Okay, puss-puss. You take the dark type and see what happens. I'm going to make you WISH you'd let me have a large crow instead of a whole host of animals who were bred to do arson."
Norm: "All o' my critters are equipped to deal with ANYTHING' you can throw our way! We've got solid movepools, an emphasis on attack AND speed. Quick on the draw, ready fer anythin'. Solid like a rock."
Crown: "You're wondering which type to expect from the Pokémon League Champion? Why, I won't put my name to ANYTHING that isn't to the quality this here country DESERVES, no-siree!
My championship's gonna give you nothin' but the BEST, America! That's right, folks, there's REALLY no topping the DRAGON type. Pokémon associated with stories of leadership and Revolution!
All of my Pokemon specialize in hard-hitting and devastating attacks, designed to obliterate would-be threats and act as a complete deterrent to any would-be challengers!
Trust me: If I hit ya, you'll FEEL it!"
Crown (post-wipe): "I-Is the war over yet? I can't get a signal..."
Hope you enjoyed, I had some fun assembling the teams :)
gummygunk
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
2087
dededos
yousharknotpass
