* WILD / LOST

indie shauna shipman. as loved by lor. 21+ only.

[wildernesslost]

𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 — independent & selective shauna shipman of showtime's yellowjackets. mun is 30+ (lor, they/them) rules under the cut, google doc to follow once set up! do not follow if you are under 21!

this blog will feature triggering & usfw content which will be tagged! can also be found at: pcrfectstorms & tthebanished x banner psd credit

a study in: survival, lost innocence, girlhood, unimaginable trauma, motherhood, quiet rage and traumas of living a life that was never yours.

affiliated with: pvnkshooter

GENERAL RULES general roleplay etiquette like no godmoding,  reblog from source unless it's something I tagged you in. my activity fluctuates. Drop me a DM or meme if you're shy, duplicate friendly, there is room for all of us in the rpc, i’m not about making others feel left out! discord available to moots on request!

CONTENT NSFW themes like drug use, addiction, murder, violence will be present due to the nature of the fandom. I’ll do my best to tag triggers as ‘tw trigger’. I will not tolerate any of the following: racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, ableism and whorephobia.

WRITING formatting wise I use BETA editor with xkit rewritten, minimal formatting just small text and occasionally icons. I don’t care how you format, just please cut your posts! 

SHIPPING & NSFW I am slut for a good ship, BUT I will only ship on the basis of writing chemistry and priority will always go to queer ships! If you’re interested in shipping don’t be scared to ask! I am open to crossovers, AU & canon based threads, I am not just here to ship, I love friendships, family dynamics and other dynamics too!

[wildernesslost]

i’ve not even been active but i need to yell about this everywhere because bitches IM GONNA SEE TAYLOR SWIFT IN AUS WITH @pvnkshooter next feb AAAAAAAAAAH

[wildernesslost]

#WILDERNESSLOST — an independent, selective & exclusive portrayal of shauna shipman from showtime's yellowjackets. predominantly 90's based as loved and enabled by lor. promo credit to the wonderful pvnkshooter

[wildernesslost]

guess it’s clown time for me to convince myself we’re gonna somehow, still get some kinda adult [redacted] content next season, like flash backs, maybe snippets of the time period between the 90’s and now, maybe a glimpse of [ redacted & redacted’s ] dynamic post crash but pre current time line. am i delulu? absolutely. but i simply was not ready to say goodbye to her. 😭 oh well guess it’s definitely time to write travis now while we’re on hiatus until at least late 2024.

[wildernesslost]

well ya know what i didn’t have van’s dark betty moment on my bingo card for the finale but i guess we got it anyway.

[wildernesslost]

my heart hurts, everything hurts. i need a hug and a j and a vodka before 8am goddamn

[wildernesslost]

i can’t remember the quote exactly or who it was by but the one that goes something like ‘she was the kind of love that god gives you young, so you know loss your whole life’ is so jackie and shauna it kills me.

[wildernesslost]

i’m spiralling thinking about the finale so have collection of small headcanon’s about my favourite unhinged yellowjacket 🔪🖤🐝

• shauna has one tattoo on her hip, it’s a monarch butterfly she got for jackie a few months after their rescue in ‘98

• shauna’s favour flowers are daisies, she pressed some into her diary in the wilderness and still has them to this day, she took them out before she burned her diaries on the grill.

• she hates anything that reminds her of jackie and yet, she’s spend her whole life since coming back from the wilderness living the life she thought jackie would have wanted as some kind of punishment for the life she took from her. she loves jeff, she truly does, but this was never the life she wanted, but it’s the one she thinks she deserves, devoid of everything that made her who she was before. she keeps the rabbit trinkets, makes the yearly dinners to the taylor’s as part of all of this deep seated punishment for surviving.

• her favourite music growing up nirvana, blink 182, alice in chains, placebo, blondie, hole, sleater-kinney, L7, sonic youth, the smashing pumpkins, babes in toyland, pj harvey & the screaming trees.

[liveshauntedmoved]

Oh, so cute, so revival, so aloneBirthday suit, just a smile, no one home Same as youSame as you No return, no return, no reason

YELLOWJACKETS ROLEPLAY BLOGS!

… 'Cause I'm just a girl, oh, little old me Well, don't let me out of your sightOh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite So don't let me have any rights

[wildernesslost]

with the help (or enablement) of @pvnkshooter & @vndersons wilderness baby now has a name… Jackson, named after Jackie, which yes? is fucked. but also, kinda sweet? ya know?

[vndersons]

Every time she left, with him, Eli felt like he was going to be sick. Not just because what people accused them of doing every time they left. Though that sure as fuck stung. But because he knew if something did happen out there, he'd never be able to forgive himself. Apparently, he'd been just a bit too obvious with his glares. Enough so that Shauna caught on. "Yeah", he scoffed, giving a half ass shrug in doing so. "Kinda hard to do when you're practically invisible to her." It was clear that he was wallowing in his own self pity, something not uncommon for him to do. "Honestly, he's like a walking talking sphincter... I wish she wasn't so into him."

[wildernesslost]

Shauna couldn't help but roll her eyes hard at the woe-is-me act, trying to laugh, since he did seem pretty bummed out, and being actually mean to Eli would be like kicking an actual puppy. She sighs, face softening a little, but still shaking her head at him, ❛ i don't think that's true, you just need to like actually have a conversation with her, she might look scary, but she's actually pretty nice when you get to know her...❜ there was a hint of regret in her tone if you listened close enough, she had known her pretty well, but that felt like a lifetime ago. ❛ besides, if Travis is you competition, I'd say you got some good odds in your favour...❜ which was just about as close to a compliment as he was going to get.

his joke gets her giggling, a real laugh for once, which was rare given the shitty circumstances they found themselves in, head shaking as she's laughing, ❛ that was a good one, I gotta give you that, walking talking sphincter, huh? what do you call me when i'm not around? ❜ she teases playfully.

[pvnkshooter]

@wildernesslost / shauna & nat

tensions were growing higher the longer everyone was out here. that much was evident by the way jackie liked to bitch and moan, particularly when nat didn't deliver on the food front. away from the rest of the group, with shauna approaching nat's eyes rolled into the back of her head. the other girl saying something about how it was 'uncool' that jackie had talked shit. yeah, no fucking shit. "oh what like you suddenly care about me, shauna?" looking up, head cocked to the side before she managed to speak again. "you know i didn't ask for this and neither did travis for that matter but i don't see her shitting on him the way she shits on me."

[wildernesslost]

jackie was on one today, kicking off at natalie when her and travis returned with no success hunting, which wasn't helping anyone. they were all starving, but at least nat and travis were pulling their weight. shauna's brow knits, face scrunching up at nat's defensiveness, when she was only trying to be fucking nice. ❛ the fuck's your problem? ❜ she snaps back, arms folding across her chest defensive, her and nat had been close once, but people change, people grow apart, it was a natural part of growing up, or at least, so she told herself, when maybe the reality was more she'd ditched nat for her friendship with jackie.

❛ yeah, well it's not you she wants to fuck is it? - ❜ shauna scoffs, only half joking, ❛ look i was just tryna be nice, jackie can be a bitch, she's like... so not cut out for this. not like any of us are but ya know...don't mean it's an excuse for her to be shitty to you though, s'all i was saying, but hey since when do i care, right? ❜

[yellowjacketsgifs]

I’m scared to go to sleep. Then I’ll stay awake, ok?

Shauna & Taissa in Yellowjackets Season One

[wildernesslost]

It was eating her alive, the guilt that permeates every time she even looks at Jackie, and she knows she can't keep it a secret forever, not when her attempt to get rid of her little problem hadn't exactly gone to plan, and the reality of giving birth in the middle of butt fuck no where was starting to feel more real, and more suffocating when she thinks about it for too long. It's just the two of them, out by the fire the rest inside the cabin, it felt like some kind of karmic fuck you for betraying her friend like that, only this particular fuck you might actually kill her.

❛ Anna, I uh - if i tell you something, you have to swear to not say a word, okay? or i'll fucking kill you. But I feel like I'm losing my mind, and I just -- fuck...❜ fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt, eyes cast down, can't bring herself to make eye contact, but she thinks maybe if anyone will understand it'll be Anna. A long pause, breath hitching before she leans in, voice a whisper, ❛ I'm pregnant...❜

// @vndersons gets a starter for Anna

[wildernesslost]

consider this a SMOLL starter call for a more season one vibe, multis please specify the muses lovelies or i’ll pick at random 🖤

[wildernesslost]

she's not sure what's driving her more crazy being stuck out here with her own secret, or watching eli pine day after day for his not-so-secret crush, it's just the two in ear shot, and eli's been staring at her with travis with the wounded kicked puppy look he got whenever travis was around nat. ❛ You know, just a thought but you could ACTUALLY just try talking to her -- I know, radical notion, huh? ❜ she teases, nudging him, eyes rolling as she looks over at nat and travis getting ready to go out on the hunt for food. ❛ i dunno why she even likes him, he's kind of an asshole. ❜ shauna scoffs, continuing what she was doing preparing the meat for dinner.

@vndersons gets a starter for eli!

[ohisms]

↪ 𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝑺𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑬 𝑨𝑻 𝑴𝑬 . ( a collection of lyric starters from an assortment of billie eilish songs . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

you scared me to death .

there's nothing left to save now .

i don't think i caught your name .

i like it when you take control .

you're sacred and they're starved .

how dare you ? and how could you ?

one of us is gonna lose .

i don't even really know how it happened .

i'm out of sympathy for you .

just let me hold you .

don't talk about me like you might know how i feel .

try not to abuse your power .

i wish someone had told me i'd be doing this by myself .

it's not like me to be so mean .

you just want what you can't have .

would you like me to be quiet ?

i haven't slept since sunday .

i don't want to want you .

it hurts , but i know how to hide it .

i'm the only one who does it how you like .

you better keep your head down .

a lot can change in twenty seconds .

why aren't you scared of me ?

i thought that i was special .

you're looking at me like i'm see-through .

you were a hero , you played the part .

i never really know how to please you .

see what you wanna see .

gold's fake , and real love hurts .

no way , i'll call the cops .

maybe you should leave before i get too mean .

i just wanted to protect you .

you only listen to your fuckin' friends .

they're never gonna give you love like ours .

all you wanna do is kiss me .

don't you know too much already ?

it's weird that we care so much until we don't .

i didn't change my number , i changed who i reply to .

i don't know what feels true .

did you really think this is the right thing to do ?

i would hate to see you go .

i'd never treat me this shitty .

i'll only hurt you if you let me .

you made me feel like it was my fault .

now i know what you are .

i feel more and more like i was made for you .

you wanna kill me ? you wanna hurt me ?

don't try to make me feel bad .

wait , you know what ? maybe just forget it .

was i made from a broken mold ?

you want me to be yours , then you've gotta be mine .

tell me "nothing lasts" , like i don't know .

wait a minute , let me finish .

you know i'm not your friend without some greenery .

my demands aren't high to make .

stop , what the hell are you talking about ?

we both know i'm worth waiting for .

you ruined everything good .

you really know how to make me cry .

your love feels so fake .

i wanna be alone . alone with you , does that make sense ?

spit it out , what is it exactly ?

i'll never let you go .

if we were meant to be , we would've been by now .

you can pretend that you don't miss me .

just fucking leave me alone .

don't say i didn't warn you .

it's pretty cool , right ?

i think i might have fallen in love .

i tried not to upset you .

do you even feel anything ?

don't ask questions , you don't wanna know .

i've been walking through a world gone blind .

i just wanna make you feel okay .

i know you don't care , but can you listen ?

don't you know i'm no good for you ?