Thoughts of the day

Really just a place to let it all out - write it out of the mind

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

I’m entering week 3 of living in Washington state and although I absolutely love it here, I’m so tired. I’m still working on EST time and having to wake up at 2AM to get ready for work. I thought it would be easy since I was already living on eastern time before but it turns out it is way harder this way. I’m hopefully to find something here that will allow me to work in my time zone so a girl can rest!

In other news, we have our first camping trip scheduled for the 4th of July and I am so excited. I haven’t been camping in years so I’m really looking forward to it. I hope the weather holds up for us so we can really enjoy the hikes and kayaking we hope to do! I just love the outdoors and have a very naturalistic attitude.

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Throwback to my nest of baby wrens on my door reef! 🪸 🐦

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

It happened. I am officially all moved in up in Seattle, Washington. I'm so happy to be out of that small town in South Carolina and in an area that has a lot more to offer. It's beautiful here and I didn't realize how much I had missed those white capped mountains off in the distance. There are still things that I'm adjusting to though, such has higher gas prices...higher priced everything really. The people aren't as friendly as southerners either but I'm sure I'll get used it to it eventually. I'm still attending classes with Clemson online through the summer but then I have some decisions to make. Should I attend Udub up in Seattle for in person classes or maybe look into WSU for an online program that may better suit my lifestyle? Plus I back in the job market so I have to think about that as well, and hoping to find something quick that fits my needs. Doesn't seem like it really ever slows down does it?

[symbiotic-science]

For the first time in 4 years, a litter of red wolf pups was born in the wild

The red wolf is one of the most endangered animals on the planet. That's why environmentalists were ecstatic to find the first litter born i

U.S. Fish and Wildlife staff in North Carolina welcomed a litter of six red wolf pups into the world earlier this week. It's the first time in four years that a pair of wild red wolves — a species teetering on the brink of extinction — gave birth to a litter in the wild.

The newborn pups, four females and two males, were found in the Alligator River National Wildlife Refuge along the coast of northeastern North Carolina. Staff at the Red Wolf Recovery Program announced the paw-sitive news on Facebook Thursday.

"This new litter is the first wild-born litter of red wolves since 2018. This red wolf pair was formed through the combination of several management actions and the two red wolves subsequently following their natural instincts in pairing, establishing their territory and mating," the post read. "Every generation yields a new born hope for the red wolf...a cause for joy and celebration!"

Before settlers arrived in North America, red wolves thrived throughout the Southeast U.S, from Florida to the Great Plains and the Ohio River Valley, according to national conservation organization Defenders of Wildlife. But through hunting, extermination and the expansion of cities and towns, humans drove the species to near extinction.

There were a mere 17 wolves left to save when the Endangered Species Act passed in 1973. Before 14 of the remaining 17 wolves were trapped and transferred into captivity, the handful of survivors lived across a small area of the Louisiana and Texas coast.

The remaining wolves disappeared, Fish and Wildlife said, attributed to continued human persecution and a loss of habitat. The red wolf was declared extinct in the wild in 1980.

See link to continue reading!

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Spring break coming to a close and today just flew by. I was able to get some things accomplished and finally got the tires put on the car for the big cross county move! Still waiting to get the appointment set for my hitch and will need to have it serviced one more time. I feel like my day is done and I’m already in bed at 4PM because I slept like shit last night and I’m tired. Hoping I sleep better tonight and have a productive day tomorrow catching up on school before it’s back into the swing of things come Monday. I’ll need to focus on school for the next two weeks due to tests but hoping the weekend after all that I can get a lot done! I’ll be putting my notice in around that time at work, which I am absolutely dreading. Idk why but I just feel bad leaving work because I know how much they depend on me. I try to remind myself that I’m just a number and they will still operate when I’m gone, so no sense killing my self for a company that doesn’t share the same respect. Everything else seems to be falling into place so I’m reminded every day this is the right move for me and my family!

I’m so excited to get to Washington and only a month and a half to go!

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Made it to Spring Break! It’s been nice the last few days actually because I’ve felt like I was caught up on everything which seems so rare for me. I wanted to just enjoy the fact I didn’t have a lot to do and relax. Turns out that’s hard to do when you’re used to being so busy. I have a busy week ahead getting ready to move across the country but this is a type of busy that I will enjoy!

It’s a short post today because I’m watching a new movie release on Hulu tonight called Deep Water. I love these psychological thrillers!

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

It’s been so cold out today! I wasn’t as motivated at the gym this morning to work out partly because of that. It’s funny how much the weather can affect your mood. I was also really sore though so I think my body was just tired overall. I somehow managed to find time today to finish going through my kitchen and came up with a second car load to donate to goodwill! Feels good to have that step in the move process over with. Next I have to sell a few things and then I can begin packing. Only 9 weekends left and three of them will be spent studying so realistically I only have 6 weeks to get it all done. That really puts things in perspective! Back to the work grind tomorrow! Hope all of you have had an amazing weekend and spring hugs finally sprung so here’s to warmer weather on the horizon! 🙏🏻

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

I haven’t posted in quite awhile and the truth is that’s because things have been going well and I’ve been busy! I went on my trip to Phoenix and had a great time meeting the boyfriends fam bam. Weather was so nice and I wasn’t ready to leave. It’s back to reality now though and I came home to studying for my second Wildlife exam and a hectic work week. Now that I’m through that though, I feel like I can breathe a little bit and have done my best to relax this weekend. It’s hard to force yourself to sit down when you’re so used to being wide open all the time.

I move in just over two months and I haven’t done any packing yet. I kinda wanna keep the normalcy for as long as I can though so I guess I’m just procrastinating. I’m going to miss having my alone time if I’m being honest, I think I’m just used to that. It’ll be an adjustment in many aspects but one I’m ready for. I’ll try to keep up with the updates better but just know the pauses mean I’m happy and doing well! Anxiety will always be there but I can ignore it when I have so many good things to look forward to.

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Made it to Friday and I have a three day weekend! 🙌🏻 Plus, on top of that, I’m off next Thursday and Friday for my long weekend in AZ to visit my boyfriend and meet his family. I am so excited and so ready to take this much needed hiatus from work and school! In one of my previous posts I mentioned having issues with my instructor in Chemistry class and I ended up dropping it. Well, the AVP from that school reached out and asked for a meeting to talk about my complaint and potentially warrant me a refund on the class. I meet with her Monday, fingers crossed it goes well! Honestly things are getting better, the weather is warming and my mood has increased. It feels good to feel normal again, and not just for a day or two. I’ve got some big things coming to be happy about to! Wish my luck on my interview today for my first job in the animal industry 🤞🏻

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

10 posts!

Hey how about that!? First tumblr achievement 🙌🏻

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

I have finally felt happy these last few days and I think the change in weather has something to do with it. It’s been sunny and warm outside so I’ve been able to get out and walk more. It’s been so nice! I’m also getting excited for my mini vacation in 10 days to Phoenix for the weekend! Something to look forward to. I’m meeting my boyfriend there to meet his family. It’ll be such a nice break from work and school and I’m looking forward to the new experience with them. In the meantime tho, I’ve got an ecology test to study for next week and then I can finally get packed up to go! I am so ready!

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

It’s been a few days since I’m posted. I’ve made some big decisions and have been working through the logistics. I decided to drop my chemistry class because the work load was intense and I was starting to suffer academically in my other classes. Thankfully, the chem class was at a tech school so it didn’t affect my gpa at Clemson and I can take it later in the year! Despite the work load I had other issues with the professor that I ended up filing an official complaint against too. We will see if anything comes of that.

Secondly, I made a big decision to move cross country to Seattle to live with my boyfriend. With rising rent costs I’m struggling to afford a two bedroom apartment anymore and the housing market is so incredibly competitive right now that buyers are having to offer way over asking. It feels like way too much risk so I’ve put that on hold until the market levels out a bit. It feels right though and it feels like it’s time for a change and a new chapter. I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’ve had in South Carolina but I’ll be continuing education at University of Washington in 2023!

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Okay so the stress level is exponentially higher today between classes and work. It’s been a struggle wrapping my arms around everything which is something I need in order to not stress. There needs to be order in how I do things, a schedule with a breakdown of exactly what needs done and when it needs done. It doesn’t help that I’m dealing with a high stress position at work. I’m a Treasury Analyst at a large bank that happens to be going through a merger so we have a lot of projects going on. I honestly feel I’m not paid enough for the work I put in and I certainly don’t have the title for it either. I fell into banking when trying to find a job years ago and hadn’t strayed from it. The treasury department happened by circumstance too and I absolutely did not expect to be doing the work that I’m doing. Animals have always been the dream and the passion, which is why I’m in school. I’m hopeful I can jump careers soon and be happier in a field I know I will love. I always thought that day was so far away but lately I do feel like it’s closer than I realize. I could be jumping ship soon and relocating to Seattle, Washington to finish my degree with Udub. It’s probably obvious to my readers at this point that I have a lot of moving parts in my life right now and I’m clearly in some kind of transitional period which has got to be the culprit for my heightened anxiety issues lately I’m sure.

Trying to remind myself that you can only control what you can touch, and not what you can’t. One day at a time and let the puzzle pieces fall and put themselves together in the order they were always meant to.

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Last night I attended my first Chemistry lab class and wow, talk about an overwhelming amount of information. This will be the toughest class I think I’ve taken so far in my undergrad. The crazy part is, it’s not even at the four university I’m attending. It’s a one-off class at a tech school. I thought for sure my Forest Eco or Wildlife Bio classes would much more involved but that does not appear to be the case. The Chem lab also goes late, which isn’t ideal but it does save me from adjusting my work schedule. So, there’s a positive for you. I’m super tired today after getting home and into bed an hour later than normal. That hour really seems to make a big difference!

I was struggling a little bit this morning with a minor anxiety slip feeling like my boyfriend would be suspicious over the fact I have this late class. He’s been through a lot so I guess I’m just trying to make sure he doesn’t feel any kind of way he has in the past. I’m obviously not lying or doing anything wrong but if it were me, I’d have the thought in my mind too. I think I’m just tired so my brain is trying to play tricks. He seemed fine, so I’m sure it’s nothing and I’ve over thought the situation again. I am thankful this time that the slip was minor and didn’t last long. Sometimes they can go for hours or days. Sometimes they are simply 5 minutes.

Anxiety is weird.

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

It’s a brand new day and I’m committed to making this a better one. I had a difficult night when laying down for bed but if there is one thing I know I am, it’s a fighter and not a quitter. It’s 530AM in the EST and I’m currently at the gym starting it off with 10,000 steps! Working harder to change my mindset when I feel like I’m slipping off is my goal and my challenge.

I’ve done it before and I’ve done it well. So for that I know I can do it again. It’s hard to say why I slipped so badly this time but I’ll take it as a lesson learned for any future slips that may come about.

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

When dealing with a long-term anxiety or depression spell, do you ever just feel like it’ll never end? You’ll never just be happy? Then hope arises and you feel better for a few days but that’s just it, it’s only a few days. The sad days are more often than the happy days. This winter is really hitting me harder than most winters. The want to give up is a lot harder to fight against then normal.

It’s just easier to give in to it because you’re so tired. What do you say to yourself to keep pushing through it? What do you do?

[wildlifebiologistinthemaking]

Made it to the weekend after one crazy busy week! School finally kicked off full force so I’m knee deep in Chemistry homework. I didn’t expect this class to be the one to take up all my free time but here we are! Thankfully after this one, I only have two other core classes to catch up on and then it’s pure major related classes from then on out 🙌🏻 I love going to classes because it helps to keep my mind busy, which is something I really need. If I don’t have a project to work on, or work/school to keep myself busy I find that my mind wonders to look for problems to fix. I swear I even create them out of thin air. It was big part of why I stayed single so long, I couldn’t be in a relationship without anxiety completely taking over. It was my escape method.

I’m in a relationship now, and have been for close to 10 months. He’s the absolute best thing to happen to me since having my daughter. He also has struggled with anxiety and traumas throughout life so he can relate to anxiety pop-ups I still have from time-to-time. He’s also the first person in my entire life that has been able to stay patient through it and talk me through it. He never gets upset, never gets annoyed, never gets angry and just simply tries to understand and gives me what I need. I think he’s my person!