. cold little bitch .

fear cuts deeper than swords. indie arya stark rp blog.

[wildncss-a]

i miss you all dearly  -- xo bash

[wildncss-a]

I’ve decided to leave the Game of Thrones RP fandom (and I know what you’re thinking -- oh, for the love of fuck, won’t you just make up your mind?).  I doubt if I’ll be back again, this time. And here’s why:

I’ll be straightforward -- and this may come across as me being a narcissistic arsehole -- I’m a confident person.  I know I’m a good writer.  I’ve spent my life honing my craft.  It’s what I do as a hobby and hope to do one day professionally.  I don’t dislike criticism -- I value it as a way to improve as a writer.  I went to university to be a writer.  This is what I DO.  

But seven fucking hells, every time I log onto this dash, I genuinely hate it.  My self-confidence takes a severe plunge and so does my mood.  I try to write and do starters, and the nasty voice in the back of my head says why bother.  I tried coming back because I adore Arya with every fibre of my being and I can’t stand not writing her for long.  But I just think I’ve had way too many bad experiences in this fandom for me to be able to enjoy it anymore.  First it was fangirls making weird sexual advances towards me on Gendry in my DMs which tanked my muse for a character I’d written for close to or over four fucking years.  Then it was the whole thing what that one Euron sending people rape-y asks and it struck me a little too close to home.

It’s left a bad taste in my mouth.  And there are so many Arya’s that I feel like I’m just...not necessary?  I’m not hating on doubles -- get at me with all that #twinning, and I do openly follow doubles of my characters.  But it’s....fuck, I don’t even KNOW.  It’s like there’s a competition to always be the BEST.  Even if nobody outright says it, it’s a subconscious feeling that I feel has been ever-present in this fandom since I started RPing in it....oh, Jesus, six or seven years ago? It’s hard to explain -- and no individual has, in any way shape or form, made me feel this way or said anything to make me feel like this.  I think it’s just a sort of dark cloud that hangs over GoTRP from Ye Olden Days when the children of the forest still walked the earth lmao.  Maybe I’ve just been here for too long and grown too jaded. (If you weren’t around all those years ago, when the show was still good, this fandom used to be Hella Bad (TM).  I won’t go into details but.  Jenkies, kids.  If you were, I’m sure you remember.  I’d tell people in other fandoms I had a Jon Snow blog and they were like “Oh, God, I could never write in that fandom”.)

I want to be EXPLICITLY clear, however -- my leaving has NOTHING to do with anyone’s actions or with being made to FEEL unwelcome.  The people I interact with have been nothing but the best.  My mutuals ( needlcd, thcbull, killthebxy, foreignaccent, arcusignis, packsurvivcs, longmayshereignxcersei, snowmcid, and so many others ) are amazing, and I’m privileged to have had the honor to write with you all.   Thank you, and I love you, so very much.

[wildncss-a]

            a modern!au playlist for arya stark and gendry.

i. lethal combination - the wombats // ii. naive - the kooks // iii. when you were young - the killers // iv. let you go - the chainsmokers // v. the kids aren’t alright - fall out boy // vi. be - hozier // vii. stay - mayday parade // viii. ocean eyes - billie eilish // ix. sorry - halsey // x. uptown girl - billy joel // xi. check yes juliet - we the kings // xii. ocean avenue - yellowcard // xiii. greek tragedy - the wombats // xiv. strangers - sigrid // xv. wild - royal teeth

[lookatwhatyouvedone]

Visit Original Link

[heavensghost]

sorry - halsey

[wildncss-a]

my cousin: if you back up straight you should have plenty of room to get out your parking spot

me: i’m not interested in your heterosexual agenda

[oftarth]

halfsavages‌

i wholeheartedly believe i deserve a sword. i am true. i am loyal. i despise treacherous men. what else do you need? knight me already

[arcusignisa-deactivated20200723]

musingmeme :

beep beep how’s my portrayal ?

[dragvnflare-a]

omg i can’t believe i have so many people following me. Over the last 3 week’s i gained like 300 ?? now i’m at over 700. how? guys i am trash, but i’m glad you guys like my trash. where would i be without you all? i love you, and dany loves you. here’s a little shout out to all all my darlings here that i love. pls don’t be offended if you’re name isn’t here. if you are wondering why you are on here because we haven’t interacted it mean’s i honestly admire you and your blog from afar but am too shy to ask you to roleplay. anyway, here you go. I love every single one of you @jcimelanniister @agirlofwinterfell @stcelisms @sanscreginc @onceporcelain @professoriisms @stoleforher @inncminate @intcrwoven @forsakingonevow @thewxndererswarriors @foreignaccent @wineinthewidow @rebxrnbyfire @kngcrw @ladyoftheiris @bastardpup @venturousheart @nxrthborn @angeliatheturkishdelight @hesquired @astormofagirl @layathedarkone @theredheadwildling @strengthanddevotion @prophecyveined @druidtraitor @avaliantprince @regardsent @direhonor @ladywolfsteel @wildncss @jaimelannxster @simplywalks @ashedrose @ladyrcd @steeledstark @dcrthvxder @rhaegail @luxettenebra @goldcncrown @eiliberate @pater-leonum @dominionovershadows @liondaughter @facelos @thewhxtewclf @xneedlepoint @bcarexiled @altarofmyego @exilekniight @aladysweapon @x-muse-collective-x @regalthorn @oathkeeperwench @aeliell @beforethesummer @nemithian @needlcd @lionhvrted @wasntallbad @breedavenpcrt @seaheired @wildfireyes @ragnarsscn @wxckedwxns @zimnivsoldat @flamedwarrior

[sanacloud-deactivated20211127]

Visit Original Link

[wildncss-a]

WHO is she?  WHAT is she?  certainly not ARYA STARK, she thinks as she slips off a glove and lets her bare fingers drift over the ICY stone wall of the deserted hallway.  winterfell is QUIET now.  quieter than she could EVER remember it being.  quiet as a CRYPT, she thinks.  that is all the home that once belonged to ARYA STARK is now -- a place to bury the past, to bury their ghosts, and to bury their DEAD.  a place to REBUILD, after all is laid to rest. 

no, she doesn’t BELONG here.  the pits in the stone SCRATCH at her fingers, the blemishes on once-smooth walls remnants of blows struck by the undead as they cleaved their way through the LIVING.  SCARRED, like her.  but somehow, through EVERYTHING, both still standing STRONG. 

is THIS what it means to be strong? she thinks.  surviving and, in spite of EVERYTHING, to still be standing? 

but WHAT of her has survived?  every single piece that once comprised ARYA STARK has been stolen by violence. losing herself is the PRICE she paid to the GOD OF DEATH.  to become what she IS cost her everything.  her heart. her mind. her body.  she has been melted down and reforged into a weapon SHARP as VALYRIAN STEEL and twice as lethal.  she doesn’t FIT here, not when she’s being CHASED by the ghosts of her childhood at every TURN, more frightening than any MONSTERS could be.  she knows monsters.  she’s been RUNNING from them for a while now.

 and what do we say to the god of death? 

so, so many are dead -- the FACES of friends, of ARYA STARK’S past...but the hardest death she’s ever had to FACE is her own.

at least she can still feel the WOLF-BLOOD in her veins.  the last shred of ARYA that lingers, and the one that presses her the most to GO.  she will never be SATISFIED here.  these walls can never be HOME again.  she slips her glove back on, and when she mounts her horse and LEAVES, a mournful howl pierces through the darkness.

[teenagerposts]

@ all my mutuals

[chronicowboy]

@ all my mutual bros

[wildncss-a]

 “You could’ve been killed!”

meme || @snowmcid || ACCEPTING

part of her wants to SNAP back, all gnashing teeth and WILD anger, but the other part of her, the part that is so TIRED -- tired of FIGHTING, tired of RUNNING, tired of being NO-ONE to everyone around her -- cannot FATHOM the thought of fighting for another SECOND.  if the battle were not WON, were there still hours and minutes and DAYS of fighting to be done, she doesn’t think she would have SURVIVED.  but that’s all she is, now.  survival, and anger, and EXHAUSTION.  

‘what do we say to the god of DEATH?’ she asks her, quoting syrio forel with a small, tired smile.  

[wildncss-a]

‘ are you sure this is a good idea? ’

meme (?? oops) || @snowmcid || ACCEPTING 

she GRINS at her sister, some of the old MISCHIEF in her eyes -- the kind that once promised a STERN penance be paid on her part to septa mordane, the kind that is from a more INNOCENT time. 

 ‘what?’ she asks, a ghost of her old self, of ARYA STARK and not the woman she’s BECOME slipping through the cracks. ‘are you FRIGHTENED? i’m sure you’ll be FINE.  you’re the LADY OF WINTERFELL, are you not?’

[wildncss-a]

🐘 a little baby elephant stumbles into your askbox, holding a small letter in his mouth. he hands the note to you, “I love you. you are a wonderful, loved person." 🐘

ILYSM <3 <3 <3

[wildncss-a]

anyway i owe an ass-ton of starters and replies, so pls bear with me as i try to do them.  my muse is like !!! cos i’m so mad at the show right now, but i also have coursework to finish for my ACPE class and my exams start in like a week <3 

[wildncss-a]

arya, visiting storms end to see the shitshow that is gendry as a lord: oof yeah wow okay big boy you’re comin with me

dany: bUT wHAT ABOUT MY LORD OF STORM’S END

arya: get your own this one’s mine