[ ID: Realistic digital illustration of a suited man being blasted in the face with a mass of dark green slimy tentacles spewing from a brown leather bound book in his hands. The man's face and shoulders are covered by the tentacles. Opaque white and viscous droplets are also spewing from and dripping down the book. The background is a dark purplish blue that's obscured by mist on the lower part of the image. End ID ]
Image from Malleus Monstrum 7th ed, illustrated by Loïc Muzy (x)
Summary: Kata has grown up around animals and knows what happens when their day comes. But she's never had to do it herself though. So when her precious cow, Belle falls ill. She knows what needs to be done.
The first time I killed something I was 10.
Belle had been sick for a week. Dad and I had quarantined her away from the rest of the cows. I had brought her food and water which she never touched. Dad looked at me with sad eyes when he told me the news. Belle was going to die.
He took me with him when we went to the Head Peacekeeper’s office. Axel Barracks. A typical Peacekeeper from District 2. The Capitol came before anyone. District 10 wasn’t even second on his list. But if we wanted to put down Belle then we needed his permission.
Otherwise, we would face the consequences of destroying Capitol property.
I remember seeing him. A mountain of a man with greying brown hair and noticeable stubble. His dark eyes show nothing. Despite living in District 10, his skin is pale like milk. He boasts about remaining “snow white”.
His wife was there that day. A dainty woman with pale white skin and blonde hair. Her lower lip had a small cut on it. No lipstick. But the eyeshadow was bright blue to match her eyes. She walked by us as we entered his office.
I reached out so that my fingers skimmed the skirt of her dress. It looked like it was made of clouds. Puffy and light.
My dad did most of the talking. I looked ahead like he said to do. Don't fidget. Don't gape. Keep quiet and be a good girl. Someone should have told the Peacekeeper that it’s rude to stare. Or to not pay attention when someone is talking to you. I could see it out of the corner of my eye.
I remember the weight of his stare.
The heat and stuffiness of the office.
The knowledge of Belle’s suffering.
Belle who was a little over 2 years old. Little Belle who had followed me around after her mother rejected her. The same Belle who would wag her tail and bounce over to me.
My child. My calf. My baby.
I blink back tears. No tears for Peacekeepers.
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The meaningless back and forth ends when he sets down a bolt gun on the desk. My dad thanks him eagerly, too eagerly for my liking. His eyes on the desk and not the Peacekeeper.
My dad took the bolt gun. Thanked him again. Then he took my hand and left. The walk back was tense. Like my dad knew I hated having to place nice with Peacekeepers. And the fact that every step we took was a step closer to Belle’s death.
I remember reciting the houses as we entered the last stretch.
The Keratin family. A family of six who specialise in goats. Goat horns, goat meat, goat milk, goat cheese etc. Mr Keratin was a short man with a wild moustache and booming voice. Mrs Keratin was always busy. I had never seen her sit down. Their four kids were Jaymes, Gus, West and Petal. The oldest was 12 and the youngest was 6.
The McDonald’s were made up of Ms McDonald and her three children. Dolly, the oldest at 14. The middle child is Loom who is 12. Peter is the same age as me. Dad says that the McDonald’s can't afford to specialise like the Keratin’s since Ms White refuses to remarry. I didn't understand then what he meant by that.
The Cloven family lived in a house that their great grandparents built. Most families buy their livestock from them. They tend to breed healthy, reliable animals. But that's not the only thing the family were known for. The year before their youngest was reaped. Flora who was 12 at the time. She was torn to literal shreds by sheep mutts.
The second last house belongs to the Potter family. Mr and Mrs Potter were a source of gossip. At least according to Sunny. The two apparently didn't act like a married couple. Jon Potter had been seen hanging around his childhood friend Jay more than his wife. And Marigold Potter apparently had a secret lover. The three kids, Peter, Ben and Gregor were always in fights.
The last house before the quarantine barn is the Seedley family. Grandma Seedley is the closest thing to a medic in District 10 that most of us got. Her only daughter, Ms Seedley is a teacher. Her husband died last month from sickness. So now her eldest son is the oldest man in their family. He’s only three years older than Sunny. The rest of the children are daughters.
Della Seedley was my best friend at the time. She’s the second youngest of her family. And one of the only ones who can talk me out of a rage. We met when we were kids. Younger than I was then. We were about 6 or maybe younger.
“Kata, don't get lost in your head.” Dad warned.
“Okay, Papa.” I replied.
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Belle was lying at the back of the barn. More bones than meat. The light in her eyes was dull and her eyelids drooped. Her ear did twitch slightly as we went in. A small sign that she was still there. Barely alive.
A tear ran down my cheek.
Dad caught it before it reached my jawline. Wiping it away. I looked up at him. His shoulder length hair, black like mine. Dark eyes like burning coals, simmering with drive. His skin glistens with sweat. Copper like mine.
“You know, what needs to happen.” Dad tells me.
He hands me the bolt gun.
I stared at it. It’s not too heavy or too light. It is dark grey in colour, completely without colour. The metal is slightly warmed. It’s trembling. No, not the bolt gun. My hands are trembling. I looked up at him again.
His eyes were wet with unshed tears. Mouth fixed in a firm line. A drop of sweat ran down his face.I knew what I had to do.
I approached Belle. Tears streamed down my face. Vision blurred. I wiped them away and smiled. For her.
“I’m going to send you somewhere wonderful, my Belle.” I told her “With all the food you could ever eat. Where no one gets sick or hurt. Where you stay with your family forever.” I pressed the bolt gun against her head “Just close your eyes and wish. Wish as hard as you can. That's all you have to do. Then you’ll be there.”
With a simple squeeze she was gone.
I dropped the bolt gun and ran to my dad. I couldn't look at what I’d done. To my Belle. I screamed and cried. Yelled until my throat screamed in pain with me.
He picked me up and carried me out “Keep your eyes closed. Picture Belle in that special place.” He said “See how happy she is?”
He was always good with his words. His actions always matched them too. I love my Dad for that. I love my Mum because she does the same. I love my little brothers, Dallas and Angus. No matter how needy they are. I love the twins, Ume and Hana. Despite their pranks.
I loved my older sister, Sunny even after she got slaughtered by Careers.
Zodiacal Night : An intense band of zodiacal light is captured in this serene mountain and night skyscape from April 7. The panoramic view was recorded after three hours of hiking from a vantage looking west after sunset across the Pyrenees in southern France. At 2838 meters altitude, Mont Valier is the tallest peak near center. In the sky above, the familiar stars of Orion and the northern winter Milky Way are approaching the rugged western horizon. At the shoulder of Orion, Betelgeuse is one of three bright yellowish celestial beacons. It forms a triangle with fellow red giant star Aldebaran located below Betelgeuse and to the right, and the red planet Mars. Mars shines just under the band of the Milky Way, still immersed in the bright zodiacal light. via NASA
Image description: "Quit acting all surprised when people compliment you, look up to you, love your work, or see you in a good light. Yes, you are desirable. Yes, you are good. Yes, your work speaks for itself. Yes, people see your potential & your power. Now it's time for you to believe it!!!" written in a tweet by kemimarie.
Is there a word for that like, “bright darkness” you get in winter?? When it’s been snowing or it’s supposed to snow past sunset and the sky isn’t Dark Enough. One of my favorite things
Thanks to @raindropwindow and a handful of articles, it’s called snow albedo, skyglow, snowglow, or just light scattering! It’s the result of moon- or artificial light reflecting off ground snow, low clouds, or ice crystals.
lmao so wild listening to the new white vault back to back with the new y2k cuz both of them involve a mom character voiced by karin heimdahl whose separating led to her daughter getting obsessed with listening to tapes. and the ep with mor twv trynna reconcile with her daughter came out the same week the ep where jess y2k decided to separate with her wife. and these 2 shows cannot be more different than each other
We hit half a million downloads yesterday. Thank you so much for listening to us and sharing our show. I’ve said before, but all our success has been because of word of mouth. Thank you for helping us reach this milestone.
maybe i missed this but why is the traveling salesman missing a finger?
He sacrificed a part of himself to gain knowledge, abilities, and a perspective he did not have before (but int turn, losing a perspective he had).
He's missing the left ring finger, specifically, as this is where most men wear a wedding ring. He sacrificed his ability to feel a certain kind of connection to others - one that is intimate, familial, or to one's community.
And the sacrifice of a body part for this sort of "gain" was meant to be evocative of Odin gauging out his eye to gain greater wisdom.
Arg - I hammered this out before I even had coffee. Should have proofread it better.
Also: I debated mentioning this, but I didn’t want my response coming off as an ad for our Patreon, but we get more into “the missing finger” in our latest Patreon episode: The Dream in the Hermitage. I won’t spoil things, but this ritual does tie into deeper mythology in our show. I’m mentioning this more now to say that there are other reasons, within the world of our show, that such a ritual is performed.
