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Hello! Please feel no obligation to respond to this: I just wanted to let you know how much appreciation I have for the kindness and thought you put into every response you give. What you’ve done with this blog is not just incredible, but genuinely helpful. Thank you so much for every word you’ve written here.

Thank you, that’s really very nice :”) I appreciate it and I hope everything is going well for you. If not, feel free to reach out to me by chat or the ask feature if you want to stay anonymous. :) 

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i have homocidal thoughts,, right now i ain’t havin em,, but i feel like soon it’ll get worse and i’m afraid but ion know how to tell my therapist,, any advice??

I can see how this is making you afraid, and just try to keep in mind that deciding that you should tell your therapist and knowing that it may get worse is a really big, important, and difficult step, and it’s great you’ve gotten past it. 

However, the more you put off talking to your therapist, the more afraid you’re going to be, and things aren’t going to be able to go in a positive, productive direction. 

Your therapists’ job is to help you and understand how you’re feeling, so although I completely understand how heavy this can get and how hard it may be for you, it may be helpful to remember that this is their job. This is the best way for you to get help, and more positive, good things will come out of this rather than negative. 

Everything is gonna work out for you given you take the right steps. :) Feel free to message me anytime or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. 

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I feel like the depressive episode I'm currently in need to be "re scheduled" . My dad has so much going on right now and I don't want to bother him with going to the hospital for a med change(I have bpd and I think mood stabilizers would help me) I guess that's it? Last time I reached out he started crying and that made me feel bad for feeling bad

I can definitely see how this is a difficult situation. :/ 

It’s genuinely so sweet and thoughtful of you to consider your dad’s feelings so strongly for your mental health, that’s really admirable of you. 

I’m not sure what exactly your relationship with your dad is, but despite how hard it is for him, letting him know what your mental state is rather than keeping him entirely in the dark may be a more beneficial option in the long run.

If there’s a way for you to not go into the absolute details of how you’re feeling if you don’t want to, and instead just kinda telling him what you told me, that may be one of the better options until you get your med change.

That way, he knows enough to understand how you’re feeling and what needs to be done, but maybe not enough to at least be as worried as he previously was. He still may feel that way, granted, but maybe understanding just the right amount of a little bit less can make him feel slightly better, at least until your med change.

That being said, I think the most important thing to do that will probably really help long term is to talk to him about this situation. He seems to really care about you, so just taking a little bit of time to tell him how you do feel bad when he cries and how that’s effecting your health. 

Definitely please try to be clear that it’s so important for him to show his emotions and tell you how he feels, but you’re going to be negatively effected if he cries or is evidently upset every time you reach out to him. 

And no matter what, please go to the hospital for your med change. 

I can promise you the issue you have about upsetting your dad is a completely solvable and temporary if you just communicate with him--again, he cares about you and he will understand and find a way to get past this, so please don’t hold back on your mental health. 

I’m sure everything will work out for you. :) Feel free to talk to me anytime, you can send me a direct message or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. 

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I have a habit of avoiding human contact to a worrying degree, and though I realise now where it comes from I have no idea how to get better, like how do go out places and make new friends, how do I have conversations with people I’ve just met without worrying I’m coming across stupid. it’s so fucking annoying and I wish I could just go out there and do all this stuff with my life. I also am so lonely as a consequence I have found it impossible to find a partner, I’m 18 + never kissed anyoneever

Honestly, it’s a really big step in the first place to recognize that you’re avoiding human contact to a worrying degree, that isn’t easy to do, so you should give yourself credit for that. :)

I also recognize how frustrating this is, but I promise you there’s a way out of it even though it’s easy to feel otherwise sometimes.

You didn’t tell me the reason, or exactly why you avoid human contact, so I unfortunately I can’t suggest specific things you can do to help out. Whatever the reason is, it’s a good idea for you to talk to someone you trust and you get along with about this. It may be easier for you to talk to people if you have someone you know encouraging you and helping you out. Whether they literally help you meet new people or give you moral support, having someone help you with this is a really good idea.

In the end, I promise you you’ll figure it out some way or another. Remember that progress is progress and even when you get overwhelmed or scared, you’ll come back from it and this problem is something you’ll get over.

Feel free to message me or send me an ask if you’d like to remain anonymous. :)

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I just left from a controlling and abusive household. I left a letter to my parents of the reason why I did it and at the moment I feel so heartbroken and torn apart . I love them very much , but they took this very bad . They called the police but luckily I’m 21. I was told the best option was not to move back because they won’t change. And it’s true ,they say they can’t change. But it doesn’t change the fact that they’re my mom & dad. & I love them . But I had enough , I feel really scared

I’m so sorry you were in an abusive household :/ It’s hard to swallow right now, but in the long run it’s good that you left it, even if it may not be evident right now. 

It’s hard for a stranger on the internet to comfort you through an ask for something as intense as this so please remember to talk to your friends and as many people as you trust because the more people that are reminding you that you made a good decision, the better you feel about it. Feel free to message me as well to talk in real time, but definitely focus on talking to your close friends–these friends that you trust intimately are your family in a sense. 

One thing to remember though is you’re only 21. I understand everything’s so confusing but scary but I promise you everything will begin to click as time goes on. You have plenty of time to find yourself, figure yourself out, and find your family along the way. 

It’s hard to simply “calm down” in this situation but if you find some things that help you relax, whether it’s something physical or not, that’ll help immensely. Of course you should probably do what works for you, but having a “list” kinda in your head of stuff to remember, like what I said, or something that can help you relax and remind you that everything’s going to be okay is a good idea. 

You could also consider listing out the good parts of the day and something you’re proud of yourself for doing at the end of the day, because I’m sure during times like this it can be hard to give yourself the credit you deserve. Actively trying to acknowledge the good in your days will definitely pay off. 

More practically, maybe you could try and get a stress ball or something that kinda helps out physically? 

In the end, you do what works for you, but definitely try to form a list of things to do/ keep in mind/ have when you’re feeling anxious, scared, confused, etc. 

Again, I promise you everything absolutely will work out and make sense in the future. You have plenty of time to figure everything out, everything will fall in place. Please try to talk to people you trust, it’ll help so much. 

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about this or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :)

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I can't understand people when they talk, it's not that I can't hear them talking it's that it sounds like another language but everyone else understood what they said. It's not everytime someone talks but it's getting frequent enough that it's frustrating to me and everyone else. I keep looking for things that would tell me why this is happening but they all say hearing loss and that I need hearing aids, but my families health insurance is shit so I don't want to tell my mum cause it could 🔷

(2) Cost a lot of money and that stressed out my entire family. Plus if it's nothing then we spent money on a doctor we didn't even need. Idk it's just stressing me out and I needed to get that off my chest

I completely understand why you’d be stressed out by this, and it’s extremely good that you got it off your chest a little bit.

This does, however, sound like a significant and fairly serious issue, and if you think about it, it could really affect your personal and maybe even your work life. There’s little to no chance that this is “nothing” like you said you were worried about. So although it’s a lot easier said than done, I’d highly advise you to tell your mom about this. Like I said, this seems like a genuine issue, so while it’ll be hard to express right now, I can promise you it’ll pay off so much in the end.

It’s also maybe something worth noting that medically, it’s entirely possible for the issue with your hearing to get worse and that would be stressful to another degree all around. Getting it over with and fixing the problem when it’s in this current stage would be such a good idea.

I can promise you though, you will find a way to get through this, and eventually this issue will pass, so as hard as it is, try to remain as calm as possible. Venting and talking it out and telling yourself repeatedly that it will all be okay would also prove to be helpful.

If you want to talk more, feel free to chat with me or send me an ask. :)

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There’s this girl who I love so helplessly. I don’t fall in love with people, but I’m so in love. She felt the same. She had to move to the opposite side of the country though and can’t do long distance and is probably moved on, but I can’t move on. She made me happy for the first time in so many years and finally made me feel like my life has a purpose. I can’t move on. She doesn’t talk to me a lot anymore and it kills me. I no longer see purpose or meaning. I’m so miserable. What do I do?

For whatever reason, I wasn’t notified when I got this ask, so I’m replying to it a few days late, sorry :// 

I understand that you really really love her, but one thing, try to remember that your life does have purpose. You’re probably a wonderful individual, and so many people do care about you, and if you ever believe otherwise, please try to talk to people in your real life and maybe even consider therapy. 

You could also get in contact with her again if you have her number or any of her contact information. Based on what you said, you really do love her, so I can see how this may be hard or difficult to do, but if you can get close friends to help you do it or encourage you, and if you use positive self talk, it could definitely become easier. You may also be scared that she “moved on” and will take what you say badly, but getting in contact with someone you care about so much is so therapeutic even platonically. 

Like I said, you’re most likely an amazing person who does deserve to find love, and most likely will find it. Getting in contact with that person that you love will be so helpful, even in a platonic sense, but try to remember and convince yourself that you are capable of finding love, and you will eventually. Venting about this to family and friends in real life could also be extremely beneficial in convincing you of this. 

Feel free to dm me if you want to talk more about this or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :)

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❤️🌹You are just real life super hero. Person with golden heart. Your advises are detailed and helping. Thanks for giving us such care and love and giving this blog piece of your heart and big part of your time . THANK YOU!!! ❤️🌹

Aw, thank you haha :) That’s really nice :)

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Back when we were dating, my ex girlfriend started to get distant. After Thanksgiving, she came back for one day, and on November 29th I found out that she moved to her mom's. After she told me this, she wouldn't respond to any of my texts. I heard from a friend that she was also close to that she tried to kill herself. When i heard it from her, it hurt so much more. Ever since, I've been really depressed. I thought it got better around the 1st of the year, but it just came back. I blame myself.

I’m really, genuinely, sorry to hear this.

First of all, It’s entirely, completely, natural for you to blame yourself, but try to convince yourself otherwise--I know it isn’t as easy as a random stranger on the internet telling you this haha, but I believe that you are 100% capable of doing so. It’s not your fault at all, I can promise you that even without knowing the details of the story--you were doing something that was good for you, and that doesn’t make you a bad person in any way. 

Also, try to vent to friends/family about this. It may seem like a minuscule, irrelevant, thing to do, but I can assure you, it’s so so so helpful. Venting to people in real life is extremely relieving and may make you feel slightly better. Therapy would also be an excellent option, however cliché it sounds, considering that’s another tool that involves you talking to someone who genuinely does care in a safe environment. Therapy could give you some solid ways as to how to overcome this issue, so you should definitely consider that. :) 

Another interesting thing that I noticed is fairly helpful is listing twenty or so good things about yourself so that you don’t entertain the “bad” thoughts about yourself. It may not be the easiest thing to do right now in your situation, but you’re strong enough and/or you could get a friend or family member to encourage you to do so. 

That being said, I don’t know the minuscule details of the situation, so ultimately you do what you think is right regarding contacting her. It wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to offer her words of encouragement and things like that, but if you feel as though doing so wouldn’t be good, you don’t need to feel pressured to, as she seems to have a support system.

I said it before but I’ll say it again, I can promise you, this isn’t your fault, and you don’t need to blame yourself of it in any way. :) 

Feel free to dm me if you want to talk more about this or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :) 

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A person I care deeply for has a terrible drinking habit They don’t abuse me but it hurts to see them in that state I just want them to change, it hurts because when they’re sober they’re the sweetest person I know. I break down when I think about how things would be better and funnier if they’re sober but I have to be emotionally strong because I’m the “crybaby” of the family but I also don’t want to be crying every night. I’m so sorry to bother you but I just need to let some pain out.

You were not a bother at all, nor do you need to feel like you are.

While I completely understand how you may feel bad crying, please try to understand that you deserve to cry and let stuff out. It’s okay to let out everything that you’re feeling, and I’d highly recommend you talk to people who are close to you and vent to them.

As for your friend, maybe you could start talking to them about this issue and let them know your opinions on it and how you feel about it. Although the way you feel may not completely change this persons attitude about drinking, it could still urge/begin to convince them to stop, so please communicate with them. In addition to that, maybe you could recommend some professional help to them, maybe therapy or whatever you see fitting to get them “properly” out of this addiction. Again, you do what you think is fitting but I do highly recommend this :)

Again, please don’t hesitate to communicate with family and close friends about how you’re feeling, because that’s important to. And communication with your friend is also so so important.

If you ever need to talk, please feel free to send me a message or an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :)

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I just want the world to stop for a bit. Or maybe disappear. I just want a break from everything going wrong. I've tried thinking positively and all the self help techniques I can find but they just don't work. Or they work for 5 minutes then never work again. What's the point in continuing like this?

Hey, I understand how you feel, I get it, and I’m so sorry.

Not all those “self help” techniques work for everyone, which is totally alright (although it’s worth trying out in the first place,) but there are still other alternatives, and there are still other solutions or ways to make you feel at least a little better, so please please please don’t give up and don’t tell yourself there’s no point in “continuing like this.” Please tell yourself, and this is something that could help you so much without you exactly feeling it, that you’re strong enough to get though this and that you will be able to continue with a solution.

That being said, I strongly believe you should go to a therapist. A therapist can offer you some ways to feel better that are “personalized” in a sense and as a result, they have a much much higher likelihood of making you feel better. I know that it’s not an easy thing to start doing, but I promise you, it’ll be so so so worth it in the end.

Like I said before though, the first step is telling yourself that you can get through this and telling yourself that there actually are ways to make you feel better.

Feel free to talk to me about anything, you can send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous or dm me :)

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Is it bad to just feel empty. Kinda like you’re stuck in a never ending loop of doing the same routine over and over

It isn’t bad at all. It’s okay to feel empty and to not feel your best, and as hard as this might seem sometimes, you really really should try to remind yourself of that and be easy on yourself. 

Feeling like you’re stuck doing the same routine over and over is normal, and you aren’t alone. One thing though (and I’m well aware that having a stranger on the internet tell you this may not be too convincing but) try to trust me when I say that the cool thing about life is kinda seeing where it takes you in some sense? I promise you, you will find something that gives you some sort of “difference” to your life, just as everybody does. You probably deserve it, and as long as you believe so and you continue to look for that thing, things in general might start seeming a little bit brighter. 

Please also talk to people in your personal life about this, there’s a good chance that they may know ways to help a little bit. 

If you want to talk about this a bit more, feel free to dm me or send me another ask if you want to stay anonymous. :) 

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Hi I’m the “I fell for my friend and think he likes someone else”-anon:) I just wanted to thank you for your advice. It really helped. But this morning I just had to tell him how I felt. Well long story short: I got friend zoned. At least I don’t have to hide my feelings anymore. Anyways thank you for listening and helping me out! I hope you have a nice day♥️

Alright, it’s no problem. :) That may have been a good decision, especially if you don’t need to hide your feelings anymore. But if this ever makes you feel a bit down at times, feel free to talk to me. :) 

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Can we message you in private instead of sending an ask? Is that too much? It's totally okay if you'd rather answer asks only or if you want to have everything up on your blog for people to see :)

Yes, of course I’m okay with messaging, in fact I mainly talk to people with dms and personally I prefer dms. The ask system is mainly there if people want to stay anonymous and if that’s what makes them comfortable.

So feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to, or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :)

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So I fell in love with my friend and at first I thought he liked me back. I genuinely thought we were gonna end up together. But a few weeks ago I overheard him talking to someone about some other girl and when I asked him about it he avoided the question. Later my friend told me she heard rumors about him liking one of my classmates. Since then we’ve been avoiding each other and it really hurts me. Should I tell him how I feel?(Sry this is kinda long but I don’t have anyone to talk to atm)

I’m sorry to hear this, I understand that it may probably hurt.

Although, like you said, it hurts, try to believe that you’ll get over this. Surround yourself with positive thoughts and people, let yourself know that eventually you WILL find someone who’s good for you and tell yourself that you’re strong and you’ll get through this.

Something that also may help but it kinda depends on the relationship you have with this person is if you still stay friends with them. You don’t need to be with them, you can just have a friendly relationship with them, similar to the ones you have with your friends. This could help you feel a bit better, and in some sense it could feel like you “faced” the problem and eventually maybe you won’t be as into this person and it’ll hurt less.

Like I said before though, this kinda depends on the relationship you have with this person, although I would highly recommend staying friends with them no matter what.

And try to maintain a positive attitude, no matter how hard it will seem right now, you’re strong enough to do it. You could even get friends and family to make you feel better.

If you want to talk more about this, feel free to message be or send me an ask if you’d like to stay anonymous. :)

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Hey ❤️🌺 I’ve been quite anxious lately because my dad is making me feel like pure shit and my mom just doesn’t help in any way. It’s mostly about schoolwork and why I’m not a successful person unlike all my friends, and nearly every single night I have an anxiety attack about this but I don’t trust any people to talk about this. My mom tells me that I speak with thorns and I don’t know but I feel really shitty about it. I’ve been trying but it’s so hard for me. Can you help me? Thank you 🌺❤️

Hi, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this everyday, trust me, I know that it’s difficult to deal with. 

The biggest piece of advice I can give for this is TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THIS. 

That does sound a bit vague, so by “talking to your parents,” I mean telling them how their words have an impact on you and how they really should be communicating with you in the most beneficial way possible. You should tell them how their message that their conveying can be translated into something that actually does help you and improves the quality of your schoolwork and the overall situation that’s making you this upset. I swear I know that it’s uncomfortable and awkward for some people, but it will help so much because:

First off, they will be a lot more cautious with their words, which will probably have a huge impact on you and how you feel, and honestly even your schoolwork maybe. And secondly, if they actually specify what’s going wrong and how they can actually help you, your grades for your schoolwork and everything you’re trying to work towards will skyrocket upwards. 

By this I mean, as I’m sure you know, it isn’t simply helpful to hear that you’re doing something wrong. It’s 10x more helpful to actually know exactly what is happening for you to improve on. Retaining that kind of information will help you out so much emotionally and mentally and your relationship with your parents. :) 

You can get through this, trust me, just go about it the right way. Don’t beat yourself up over it, I promise you it will work out. <3

I’d be happy to talk to you more about this, so feel free to chat with me or send me an ask if you want to stay anonymous. :) 

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i feel like actual shit. i’ve been really stressed out about school and life, my grades are dropping and i can’t focus on anything anymore. i’m conscious about my weight but today i ended skipping my workout and eating a slice of pizza and i feel so terrible. i really want to rest, but i just can’t. i feel like i’ve messed up everything, i can’t look pretty, i can’t get good grades, i can’t do anything and i feel so sick because of it. i’m useless, just like everyone says i am, and i hate it

I’m so so sorry, I completely understand. 

Really what would be so so so helpful in this situation is motivation. A little motivation can inspire you to get organized and start working out/ doing all the stuff you want to do. (Which btw, about the workout thing, don’t beat yourself up over eating a slice of pizza. Take a break occasionally, you deserve it.) 

Although of course what motivates you is personal and different from one person to another, I have a few suggestions if that will help. 

Surrounding yourself with close friends/family who can really push you to get to your goals while making you feel good about yourself is definitely one. You could also talk to those friends in real life and personally, because although venting to someone online is helpful, talking in real life is even better. Venting will make you feel good, or at least a lot better, and it might make you feel like you’ve got all your thoughts organized, which will make you more ready to organize yourself. 

You could also force yourself to sit down but reward yourself in the middle of studying with breaks and snacks and all that, since breaks can be very motivating. You may have already heard of this method before, but I promise you from personal experience, it’s so so helpful, as long as you’re open to the idea.

Like I said before, there’s a bunch of different ways to motivate yourself. You are not useless, and you don’t need to feel like that. It’s okay to feel down and like you aren’t doing your best from time to time, don’t be so hard on yourself. :) 

I’d be happy to talk more about this, so feel free to chat with me, or send me another ask if you want to stay anonymous. :)