I have been engaged for about a year and a half to a truly great woman. Unfortunately over the last 4-5 months I have had a burning desire to be with a man. It’s only gotten stronger as time goes on. What can I do in my situation? How do I tell this person I’m engaged to I don’t want to follow through anymore? Do suppress these feelings for the rest of my life and pretend to be happy or do I abandon her? I’ll take any advice anyone has. If this post is to complicated to understand please delete!
Please don’t get engaged with the intent of just “white knuckling” it through your marriage. It is not fair to you or to her. You each deserve to love and be loved: completely and authentically. She deserves to marry a man that can love her 100% and you deserve to share your love with someone who desires it.  How do you break it off? Carefully, and with dignity. You can choose to tell her that you are gay, or you can leave it vague, but final. Breakups are difficult. Often we forget about the real purpose of dating…to determine long term compatibility. Sometimes (even in gay dating) we feel invested in the relationship (because of time) and we struggle getting out of those relationships when we know the long term compatibility isn’t there.  I left a 10 year marriage with a woman. I tried. I thought I could make it work. At the end of the day, she was a bird living in a tree, I was a fish. I sat on the shore gasping for air and suffocating, while she enjoyed the oxygen all around her. There was love. There was connection. But there wasn’t enough to make a fish and a bird compatible.  Narnians, what advice can you share?Â
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