Old Flames {Tom Hiddleston/Callie Williams (OFC); NSFW}
We’re drawn back into the flame when we both should have stayed away.
Wanderlust {Tom Hiddleston/Callie Williams(OFC)}
He’d known since the beginning she had never wanted the things his life brought, and it had played a very crucial role into why things had fallen apart. Since then he’d taken it as gospel that her opinions hadn’t changed. She’d never said, never hinted at wanting more…But now…Now he found himself wondering if maybe she had done so and he’d simply been too wrapped in himself to see. Sequel/Continuation of ‘Old Flames’
Secrets are powerful things. They shape who we are and how we interact with others and with the world. Tom assumed his secret was safe and his life would remain as it ever was. He was wrong. (warnings: Cheating, alcohol abuse)
Allie hadn’t expected anything when she’d handed him her number that night…She wasn’t even sure why she’d done it. After all she’d known the chances of him actually calling were slim to none, and that was being generous. But Allie had known she would have regretted not taking the chance so she’d handed him the napkin and climbed into her car, forcing herself not to look back.
Little Changes {Tom Hiddleston/Allie Thompson(OFC)}
Everything in her life had changed so suddenly. One moment she was trying to juggle her work life with the long distance strain of a still very new and tentative relationship. The next she was sitting in the bathroom staring blankly at a small pink plus sign and trying to remember how to breathe. Panic had been one of the first things that registered. Things with Tom were still so new. So tentative. They’d been together barely seven months. Too soon. Way, way too soon. Sequel/Continuation of ‘Perfectly Imperfect’
Absence Makes the Heart... {Tom Hiddleston/OFC}
Tom returns home to the woman he loves. (warnings: cheating)
Enough {Tom Hiddleston/Sadie Collins(OFC)}
Sadie was everything Tom had always wanted; she was brilliant, funny, well read and, in his opinion, one of the most beautiful people he’d ever known. She held his attention like no one else in recent memory had. The only problem? She already belonged to someone else…
Choice {Tom Hiddleston/Adaline Saint-Claire(OFC)}
Sometimes love isn’t enough.
Lovers’ Eyes {Tom Hiddleston/Eliza Williams(OFC)}
A devastating loss reveals a life-changing truth. (warnings: character death [not Tom], grief)
Becoming {Tom Hiddleston - character study}
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six
Learning about his son was only just the start of the story. As Tom Hiddleston struggles to adapt to this sudden change in his life, he comes to learn that becoming a father might be the biggest role he’d ever taken on. Sequel/Continuation of ‘Lovers’ Eyes’
Get it Right {Tom Hiddleston/Clara Mayfield(OFC)}
Clara met Tom at a party on New Years ages ago. He was a friend of a friend, in her hometown for a play. She was captivated by him from the beginning, he was not. Through an chance encounter days after their first meeting a quiet friendship blossomed. And friendship it remained until one drunken night brought about a change neither of them could have predicted.
Everything was perfect. Everything had to be perfect. Tom wouldn’t accept anything else. Not tonight. Not when he was about to ask the question that would change their lives. Prequel to ‘In an Instant’.
In an Instant {Tom Hiddleston/Caroline Hiddleston(OFC}
Life can change in an instant. Tom Hiddleston couldn’t imagine ever being happier; married to the woman he adores, raising two challenging but wonderful children, his life felt perfect. But one moment changed everything, leaving Tom scrambling to hold together the tattered ends desperately trying to figure out just what to do. (warnings: character death (not Tom), grief)
Part One
The Way I Tend to Be {Tom Hiddleston/Marjorie Bennet(OFC)}
When Tom met Marjorie three years ago, he saw the potential of a happy future and he chased it with both hands. But we all carry the weight of our pasts on us. When photographs of their private life leak, Tom finds himself forced to face pain and anger he thought was long since buried and lashes out at the woman he loves. Refusing to take the blame for things beyond her control, Marjorie forces Tom to choose whether to let go of the pain or allow it to consume not only him but the relationship they have worked so hard to build.
Part One
Last Minutes & Lost Evenings {Tom Hiddleston/Rosmary Mathews(OFC)}
Tom Hiddleston and Rosemary Mathews meet quite by accident on a cold afternoon in London. There is an instant attraction between them and they quickly the fall into a complicated relationship. Communication, fear, and uncertainty test their bond. Will they survive or will things fall completely to pieces? On-Going
Brave Face {Tom Hiddleston/Amelia Evans(OFC); Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richards(OFC)}
At the height of his meteoric rise to fame, Tom Hiddleston made a choice that lead to unforeseen and long-lasting consequences. (warnings: cheating, alcohol abuse, unprotected sex) Complete - for now
Marigold Randall was content to live a quiet life. She had the small bookshop and it’s tiny attached flat in North London she inherited from her grandfather and her scruffy grey cat, Dougal. It was all she’d ever needed until one morning a tall, scruffy man entered her shop and turned her world on its axis.
Tom Hiddleston was tired. After years spent living out of a suitcase, bouncing from film set to film set and press tour to press tour, he was in desperate need of a break. And when the chance to return home for several months arises, he grabs it with both hands. While wandering the streets near his home, he stumbles across a small bookshop and drawn, he wanders inside. But what he finds inside will change his life in ways he never expected. On-going.
A/N: I was not planning on posting this but I've been seeing a lot of hate in multiple fandoms, which prompted me to create this. Hopefully this educates people/newer users and prevents anymore hate from circling. Also please feel free to reblog or add on if you'd like to.
NO hateful messages. That's gotta be number 1. I don't care what you didn't like about the fic. Unfollow the writer or scroll past it. Do not spend your day/night leaving a hateful message because you didn't like X, Y, or Z. Just move on. It's not worth it and at the end of day, solves nothing.
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They were wonderful. Truly. But she missed Tom and his steady presence fiercely. In the two weeks since he’d left for filming, he’d made every effort to be available for the children’s nightly routine. And to chat with her once they’d settled to bed. It wasn’t the same as having him with her, but it was something.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Rosemary Hiddleston (OFC)
Genre: Angst
Rating: Mature
Summary: “Marriage is never easy, even in the best of times. And mine is no different.” Choices shape who we are as people just as much as they shape our relationships with those around us. One choice was all it took to shatter the life Tom and Rosemary had built together. Now they are faced with the agonizing choice of what can be done with the wreckage left behind. Final part of the ‘Last Minutes & Lost Evenings’ series.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So this has been a hell of a journey (and honestly still is). I still have this plotted out about a third of the way (nearly five years later, yes I know) and I know more or less where this is going. This is going to be a very long, emotional journey so bring wine and tissues.
Tom Hiddleston rubbed a hand through his now shaggy hair, surveying the mess he’d made of the master bedroom. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a good quarter of his admittedly limited wardrobe folded in varying stages of neatness inside. The remaining pieces were strewn beside it on the bed and hanging on the opened closet door.
It was always a nightmare, packing for an extended shoot. No matter how many times he’d done this very thing, it never seemed to get any easier. Trying to cram everything he could possibly need into a suitcase often seemed nigh on impossible. The only things he truly needed wouldn’t ever fit, no matter how creatively he tried to fold them.
His mind flitted to Rosemary, who was downstairs with Gracie and Wills trying to wrangle the latter into his chair for his lunch. Leaving her had never been an easy thing, it was something he struggled with every time he’d had to go and she had to stay. They’d weathered this storm many times and he had every faith they would this time as well.
But this would be the first time he would be leaving his family since Wills had been born. He’d stuck to local and regional theatre work as much as he could during that first several months of his son’s life, wanting to be there as much as he could for his growing family. He’d missed so much when Gracie was that age and hadn’t wanted the same this time around. This pending separation was one they’d known was coming but one neither he nor Rosie were truly looking forward to. His Rosie was strong and infinitely capable, she would be alright. But gods he would miss her and the family they’d made.
Sighing, Tom dropped the sweater he’d been folding on top of the suitcase. He didn’t want to go; despite the fact he was eager to put his months of research and character development into practice. He’d accepted the role before they’d learned Rosemary had been pregnant and with one delay and another, things hadn’t come into fruition until now. The fact that the shoot was a US based one hadn’t made things any easier. It would mean months away from Rosie and the children, with only video calls as a lifeline.
He’d put off packing for the last week or so, selfishly hoping that if he’d ignored the whole situation, it would simply fade away. But no such luck. In less than a weeks’ time he was needed in New York for filming and he couldn’t put this off any longer. The pressure didn’t make the task at hand any easier though.
“Daddy,” a soft voice lilted from behind him. Tom turned to find Gracie standing in the doorway of the room, a soft frown overwhelming her features. The sight of it broke his heart. “I don’t want to you go!”
With this declaration, the three-year-old sprinted into the room, latching her small arms around her father’s legs. Tom bent automatically and picked his daughter up, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face into his neck. He stood rocking her gently, ignoring the strain on his back. It was unnerving how much she had grown and frightening to realize that in a few short years holding her like this wouldn’t be a possibility. In Tom’s eyes she was still the sweet baby who would gum at his knuckles and smile at the silly faces he made to entertain her.
Rubbing his hand up and down her back, Tom whispered soothing words into Gracie’s curly, dark hair. “It will be alright, Gracie girl. It will only be for a short while.” She shook her head, burrowing further into her father. Tom laughed softly, despite himself. “You know how you talk with Auntie Sarah on the computer?” He felt his daughter nod against him. “We can do that too.”
“Not the same.”
“I know, princess. I wish I didn’t have to go. Leaving you and Wills and Mummy is the last thing Daddy wants to do, but sometimes when you are a grown up you have to do things you don’t always want to.” He felt her grip tighten against him. “But I will call you every single day and I’ll miss you, Wills, and Mummy so so much. And I promise I will be back home as soon as I can be.”
He shuffled backwards and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, not caring that he was most likely wrinkling the clothing beneath him. Once they were settled, Tom pulled his daughter back so he could see her face, tearstained and reddened as it was. He smiled warmly at her and was offered a small, slightly watery one in return.
The sound of feet on the stair pulled Tom’s attention towards the door of the bedroom. Rosemary stood, Wills balanced on her hip, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were warm and full of quiet understanding as she smiled at him, though he could see the flicker of pain she took great pains to cover as they fell on the half-filled case beside them on the bed.
“Gracie love,” he murmured, pushing the thought away, “Why don’t you go and help your Mummy and Wills with lunch?”
Biting her lip, Gracie studied his face for several moments before nodding and climbing down from his lap. Wordlessly, she made her way towards Rosemary and took her mother’s waiting hand. Rosemary smiled at her daughter before looking back up at Tom. “I’ll send this little pipsqueak up when it’s ready.”
Tom laughed. “I cannot wait.”
He sat briefly, watching as his family turned and made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen, Wills babbling happily as Rosemary murmured softly. God, how was he going to survive this? Leaving them behind. He’d done it before and they had survived, thrived even.
But this time felt different, though Tom couldn’t put his finger on it. There was a heaviness surrounding his leaving. It didn’t make sense, they had done this time and again and had always come out better for it, no matter the struggle it had been to get there.
Tom let out a soft sigh. He was being ridiculous and putting this off wouldn’t stop any of it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood, turning his attention back to the bed and his suitcase.
※※※
Gracie had returned half an hour later just as Tom was zipping his case closed. He turned, smiling at his little girl as she called, “Daddy! Come on Mummy’s waiting!”
“Well, we most certainly can’t keep her waiting now, can we?” He reached out and grasped Gracie’s small hand, letting her pull him from the room and down the stairs. The sounds of Rosemary’s quiet voice and his son’s contended laughter echoed from the kitchen. It brought a smile to his face quickly followed by a jolt of sadness. Shaking himself from thoughts of leaving, Tom smiled as he and Gracie rounded the corner and jogged into the kitchen.
“Mummy, Mummy! I got Daddy!” Gracie yelled triumphantly.
Rosemary laughed softly, shaking her head. “I see. Now go wash your hands, young lady, and get settled at the table.”
Gracie dropped Tom’s hand and darted from the kitchen towards stool placed before the sink in the kitchen. Tom laughed and stepped forward to place a light kiss against Rosemary’s mouth. “Hello,” he whispered against her lips, feeling her smile against him.
As he pulled back and turned to head to the wooden table positioned in the middle of the room, Rosemary put a hand on his arm. “Not so fast, you need to wash up yourself.”
Tom smiled, shrugging sheepishly, and went to wash up as well.
Clean and settled, he helped Rosemary make sure the children were settled with their meals before filling their plates. Tom found himself watching Rosemary tempt Wills into taking another bite of mashed peas. The buzzing noise she made as she flew the ‘airplane’ towards their giggling son brought a smile to Tom’s face. Wills was firmly in his ‘picky eater’ phase and the fact that he seemed agreeable to eating the offered food was a blessing. Even if half of it seemed destined to be smeared across his face.
Moments such as these were ones Tom knew he’d miss more than anything. The little everyday things that drove a person mad, but those small details one couldn’t imagine their life without. The children were still so young, and they were growing so fast. There would be so much he knew he’d miss just as he knew there wasn’t a single thing that he could do to avoid it.
He loved acting, loved the challenge of it, and the comradery of working with the same group of people for months on end. It was the fact that it took him so far from home and family that caused him a moments’ pause. It wouldn’t be like the local shoots he’d gotten used to nor the theatre work which allowed him to be home every night for bath time and to read to the children before bed. He would be hundreds of miles away, leaving Rosemary alone to act as mother and father. It wasn’t fair and he knew she was dreading it just as much, if not more, than he was. But she was stubborn, the woman he married, and determined. She would be fine. They would both be.
※※※
Tom smiled down at Gracie’s slumbering form. It had taken three stories (with all of the character voices) to settle her. She’d fought sleep, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of time with her father. It tore at his heart, knowing this separation upset her so. Gracie had always been such a happy, upbeat soul and seeing that light dim, knowing he was its cause, was agony. But he hadn’t a choice, not really. This was a role he’d worked so hard to get, put so much of his time and effort into building this character, walking away just as it was coming to fruition would be such a waste.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to do so desperately.
Gracie turned in her sleep, small arm wrapping around the stuffed duck she still insisted on carrying around with her everywhere.
“You do know she isn’t going to go anywhere,” Rosemary’s soft voice echoed behind him. He turned, finding her standing in the bedroom doorway smiling quietly at him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and he could read the exhaustion written the in lines of her shoulders. Wills was well into cutting his next tooth and had been a cranky, miserable thing. Especially at bedtime. How she’d gotten him settled was a miracle.
“I know,” he answered just as softly. But I am.
He didn’t utter the words aloud, not wanting to add another burden to her already heavy load. Rosemary’s knowing look told him he didn’t have to. She understood all too well.
With one last glance at his daughter, Tom padded towards the door, flipping off the overhead light as he followed Rosemary out into the darkened hall. Quietly, they padded down the stairs and into the living room. Bobby sat, his muzzle sporting more grey than Tom was willing to let himself believe possible, curled in the middle of the well-worn sofa. He blinked lazily up at his humans, not at all pleased at having his rest disturbed as they settled beside him.
Rosemary scratched behind his fluffy ears. “Grumpy old man,” she teased.
Tom laughed. “You try being chased around by a toddler who is determined to make your tail a plaything and see how cheerful you are.”
She reached over and playfully shoved his arm. “For that, you can make the popcorn.”
Pushing himself to his feet with more of groan than he’d expected, Tom face Rosemary with his hand held firmly over his heart. “Whatever milady desires.” Rosemary’s laughter followed him into the kitchen.
He rustled through the cabinets, in search of the bags of popcorn they’d stored there just for such occasions. He could hear the soft hum of the television as Rosemary set up the blu ray player with the night’s feature. These movie dates had become almost a ritual for them, a way of coming together after a busy day to just enjoy being together, no stress, no demands. Gods, he would miss this.
“Salt or sweet?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want salt or sweet tonight?”
“Salt,” Rosemary’s voiced called out after several moments of silence.
“Salt it is.”
※※※
Rosemarys’ head fell gently against his shoulder as she shifted beside him, her eyes focused on the screen before them. But it was clear her mind was elsewhere. He could feel it in the tenseness of her shoulders. They were on their second movie of the night and usually Rosemary would be asleep curled up against him, the day having worn her out.
With care, Tom reached for the remote left lying on the table before them and paused the film. “You alright?”
“What?” Rosemary blinked up at him, confusion painting her features. He could see the worry lining her brow that she was so careful to try to hide from him. But he knew her far too well. The pending separation was bothering her far more than she was willing to share with him. He tried not to let that fact bother him. She was perfectly allowed to feel however she liked. But he wished she would let him shoulder some of that weight. Even if all he could do with hold her.
Tom turned so they sat facing one another. “Something’s bothering you, Rosie. Just talk to me, love. Let me help.”
Her eyes wrinkled as she carried out some quiet, internal battle with herself. “I’m alright, really. Just…I wish you didn’t have to go.”
The words were so soft, Tom barely heard them at first. “Oh my Rosie, I wish I didn’t have to go either.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “And you know I wouldn’t go unless I had to. I hate leaving you and the children. It’s the worst part of all of this. But we are strong, my girl. We are so much stronger than this. It’ll be alright. We’ll have as many calls and video chats as we possibly can. And if I can sneak away or bring you all over, I will. We won’t be apart longer than we absolutely have to be. I promise you.”
Rosemary pulled back, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, Tom. Really, I do. I’m just being silly.” She flashed him a watery smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s just been an incredibly long day. Let’s finish this then bed, alright? I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.”
With a quiet nod, Tom pulled Rosemary tighter against him and unpaused the film. It was going to be alright. This fear would pass and they would be fine. They always were.
So I am ever so slowly easing my way back into writing and I figured I’d give a bit of a glance. For fun.
Once everything was settled, the three took their places at the table, Wills was still napping and showed no sign of waking just yet. Food was quickly served, murmurs of thanks breaking the silence. Gracie, usually a chatter box, she was so like her father, Rosemary thought with a pained fondness, was nearly silent save for her quiet request for more juice. A pained smile spread across Rosemary’s face, Tom’s absence a throbbing wound in her chest, as she nodded, filling the bright green cup Gracie held aloft.
So I am ever so slowly easing my way back into writing and I figured I’d give a bit of a glance. For fun.
Once everything was settled, the three took their places at the table, Wills was still napping and showed no sign of waking just yet. Food was quickly served, murmurs of thanks breaking the silence. Gracie, usually a chatter box, she was so like her father, Rosemary thought with a pained fondness, was nearly silent save for her quiet request for more juice. A pained smile spread across Rosemary’s face, Tom’s absence a throbbing wound in her chest, as she nodded, filling the bright green cup Gracie held aloft.
So I am ever so slowly easing my way back into writing and I figured I’d give a bit of a glance. For fun.
Once everything was settled, the three took their places at the table, Wills was still napping and showed no sign of waking just yet. Food was quickly served, murmurs of thanks breaking the silence. Gracie, usually a chatter box, she was so like her father, Rosemary thought with a pained fondness, was nearly silent save for her quiet request for more juice. A pained smile spread across Rosemary’s face, Tom’s absence a throbbing wound in her chest, as she nodded, filling the bright green cup Gracie held aloft.
