Ordered Chaos to Start the Day

Roleplaying blog for an canon-divergent Gaige.

[wiresdonttalk]

“What you should be asking is whether I give a fuck.”

Canon-divergent Gaige the Mechromancer. Post-Borderlands 2.

Bio

Rules

((overlay resources by @octomoosey​))

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Pickles are fine. You get pickled all the time.” That’s still different. “No, no. Don’t stop. I like getting things. My brother used to get all the things, now I’m getting things and he can’t touch them.”

“Har har, smart ass.” She clenched her metal fist in front of his face, though she didn’t mean anything by it. “I dunno... maybe... act more grateful for stuff I get you, then? I know you’re not all big on the touchy feely stuff... but it feels nice. Knowing you give a shit.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“How do you know they’re stronger than me? I could be just as good or better than them!” “How often do I gotta take care of it? And what all do I gotta take care of it with?”

“I mean... have you looked at them? You’re buff, but you’re not that buff. And maybe once every two weeks? I’d say less if we didn’t live out in all this sand, but you seem to like it out here.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Food poisoning?” he whined. “Where would, ngh.. that’ve come from? D'j'you gimme bad food? ‘N’ how’s that doc gonna do any better? Ain’t he a fake?” He attempts to let her feed him some ice cream. Although is ice cream really a good idea?

Gaige shrugged again. “Maybe? Though I think I would’ve gotten sick too if I did. ‘less you ate something somewhere else without me? I dunno, I’m not your babysitter.” Despite her current predicament of taking care of him. “Maybe he’s a fake but he’s the best we got around here. Unless you trust one of the psychos to diagnose you.” At least the ice cream was strawberry flavour.

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Aha. Who needs politeness? Especially here, yeah?” Not that he’s ever cared about manners anywhere.

“You wha? You did not! You’re a mechanic, not a surgeon.” Well, he didn’t believe her, at least. “I’m pretty sure I woulda noticed something like that, anyway. Especially if you did it.”

“Not a surgeon? You forget I gave myself a prosthetic already? Installed it myself?” Gaige reached over to tap on the middle of his forehead. “And maybe not, I’ve gotten you pretty hammered a few times. You sleep pretty soundly when you have enough alcohol in you.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My ass has never needed saving.” Was he or was he not just refusing to admit to ever needing help? Who knows. “‘Mosh-house grunge?’ The hell??”

“What’d you dirty yourself in, this time?”

“What haven’t I been in today? Your truck needed servicing, DeathTrap needs a new arm, generator’s almost on its last legs... I wish I could teach you this shit so you could help me with some of it.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“And yet you like drinking fermented bread all the time.”

“Before…? Before my brain processes it? I dunno. We’ve been together for how long? Verses the rest of my life beforehand. I dunno. But why, though? Is my reaction to shit that bad or somethin’?”

“That’s... different. Beer gets me drunk. Pickles give me the shits.” “I... it’s hard to keep track of time around here, what with the days being how they are. But it’s not bad. I just... don’t know why you’re always surprised by me gifting you things. Unless you want me to stop cuz it makes you feel weird...?”

[wiresdonttalk]

@redjaybird reblogged from here:

“I’m not no doctor, but maybe you got food poisoning? I could go get Zed if you don’t trust my diagnosing skills.” Gaige shrugged and spooned some ice cream towards his face. “I won’t hold it against you if you do puke on me.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“How could you argue?!” he huffed and pouted. She said she wasn’t going to, but that she could. “Uh, I dunno, a while ago? What’s that gotta do with how walkin’ on it feels?”

“I mean, Krieg and Brick are both stronger than you and they’re... they’re bandits, right? I guess?” Gaige shrugged as she gently tapped on different parts of his leg to listen out for something. “I’m just trying to figure out how well you’re taking care of it is all. Cuz it’s going to work against you if it’s not and not feel right.” She pulled the pants leg a little higher to check the connection to the leg.

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Do you hate pickles?”

“But also I say so much? I do a lot of talking,” he pointed out. Then he bobbed his head side to side. “Okay, that part, though, the nice things part, yeah. I’m just still not super used to it. I’ve always been wary if nice shit ever happened to come my way, cuz I always thought it’d hide some ulterior motive.”

“Kinda? Who wants to eat something that’s been sitting in vinegar for months? That shit is gross. And I’ve been doing this shit for years now. Made you that jacuzzi, fixed up that Loader truck for you, took you to that concert and everything. How many more I gotta do before... you know?”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Ouf! Its still is basically nothin’, to me. I’m the strongest bandit alive, remember?” He sighed. “I guess you could take a look at it. I just guess I’m still not used to livin’ with it like it is, now.”

“I mean, I could argue, but your ego bruises too easily and then you’d sulk in a corner and the cuddling would end. So let’s say sure. For now.” Gaige rolled over on his lap to pull up his pant leg and get a cursory look. “When’s the last time you lubed it?”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“Haaah, sure you are. When have you done anything angelic?” he teased. “And I called myself handsome. Am I not? Or is that just not the word you’d use?”

“Why’s your arm off?”

“Saved your ass plenty of times, didn’t I?” Gaige waved her arm around for effect. “And that’s not the word I’d use. You’re more... mosh-house grunge. And it needed cleaning. Again.”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

He squeaked. “No! -Mean, my leg might be done for the day. But there ain’t anythin’ I can’t lift. But no, yer still tiny.”

“Do I have to remind you how much my arm weighs?” To make her point, she detached it and dropped it onto his lap, wiggling her stump. “Aah, much better. You sure you don’t want me to take a look at your leg?”

[wiresdonttalk]

redjaybird​:

“… Y-yeah. Right…” Everyone’s lost someone. And it seemed like they could all get over it just fine. But he never figured out how to get over anything. That’s why he’s so good at holding grudges forever.

There’s also the fact that not a lot of people actually liked having his company. “Make it feel less like hell, huh? You’d think a devil like me would just make it all the more hell.” That was kind of a more light-hearted comment, coming from him. “Alright, then. Uh, gimme a little more time to process that. I’m not gonna be goin’ anywhere, I just.. gotta let that kinda shit sink in.”

“Nah. You being the way you are means I don’t have to try as hard to act all civilized and polite, y’know?” There was no keeping up appearances around him, and that made it much easier for Gaige to figure out what kind of person she was and what she wanted out of life. “I believe you. About the not going anywhere.” Her mouth twisted to one side as she pressed her fist to his chin. “Cuz ain’t nowhere you can go where I can’t find you. On account of that chip I put in you.” She tapped on the side of his head, wondering if he would figure out she was lying.

[redjaybird]

😷

(from Gaige)

[Jay Sick]

Nothing but whines and moans were coming out of him. Ok, maybe some.. other things, too. Other involuntary, unpleasant things. Jay didn't seem to be doing too hot. Or maybe it was way too hot. He was having a bad time, and he wasn't happy about it. "Uuuughhhhh...."

@wiresdonttalk

[wiresdonttalk]

“Well, you sound like shit.” Gaige eased herself onto the cot beside him and placed the bowl of half-melted ice cream on his stomach. “You haven’t eaten anything all day and it would be a bitch if you died of starvation.”

[eridiumangel]

{Hey look, I finally got back to @wiresdonttalk‘s Gaige!}

[wiresdonttalk]

@redjaybird reblogged from here:

“Speak for yourself, I’m a fucking angel, you shit.” Gaige booped him on the nose with the cybernetic arm she held in her other hand. “And who called you handsome?”