[wishingto-disappear]

it’s been years, but i still come across songs that i imagine us singing to on a long drive with the windows down

[wishingto-disappear]

coming back to this account after a year and a half, it’s insane how much has changed. a year living with my boyfriend, two cats, many job promotions.

lost people i thought would be in my life forever. made friends with people who will hopefully be in my life forever.

so much bad. so much good.

but still depressed and anxious af tho lol.

at least that will never change.

[wishingto-disappear]

my pop unexpectedly passed away two days ago now, and i’m in so much shock. and so angry. and sad. and guilty. and i just can’t believe he’s gone. he didn’t deserve this, he wasn’t ready.

[wishingto-disappear]

i can’t wait until we move into our own house and never have to sleep alone again

[wishingto-disappear]

it’s the first night i’m sleeping alone in over three months and i can’t handle this, i miss him so much it hurts. this room feels so empty without him

[wishingto-disappear]

my boyfriend is the only one in the world who has ever understood how i need to be comforted. while i cried and shook in his arms tonight, i begged the universe to never take him away from me.

[wishingto-disappear]

if i ever lose him, no amount of drugs in the world would be able to ease my pain.

[deatholy-deactivated20190626]

How are you?

i wanna die sometimes but i’m fine

[wishingto-disappear]

we didn’t say a word on the phone, we just needed to hear eachother breathe. our silence spoke the words that we were thinking. we didn’t need to talk to know that we loved eachother, and that when we woke up in the morning we would still be in love, despite the events that took place tonight.

“are we okay?” i asked.

“we’re okay,” he sighed.

“what’s wrong?” i replied anxiously.

“i just need to see you,” he said quietly.

i knew in that moment that his frustrations had cleared, and once we were together again the following day, everything would be okay. we would be wrapped up in eachother’s arms, forgetting those tumultuous hours.

“goodnight bubba,” he whispered.

“goodnight bub,” i answered.

although his actions were the cause of such chaos, my profound love for him was unwavering. never in my life had i wanted something to work out so fiercely, i would do anything to soothe his mind. and while i couldn’t be there to lay beside him, i hoped his dreams were full of my fingers running through his hair and my lips placing soft kisses on his cheeks.

[stonedglasss]

i just feel really fucking lost.

m.g.

[aidashakur]

Nobody notices how sad you are until it turns into anger...........now you crazy and need help

[pretty-ichor]

do you ever just think about how damaged you are? like wow i really am fucked in the head

[rox-and-prose]

Sometimes having mental illness is like living paycheck to paycheck but with your brain

[anxietyproblem]

[jumex]

are you okay

is anyone

[wishingto-disappear]

my boyfriend and i are planning our future together, including our plan to move in together by the end of this year, and nothing is making me happier than him

[wishingto-disappear]

Hey boo, I realised that your blog that you used for venting was actually helping me a lot to verbalise what I was feeling in my life. I understand that you don’t feel the need to come here anymore but I feel like you were helping a lot of us struggling with our everyday life. Therefore do you have suggestions of blogs that are similar to yours ?

I am so so happy that you are in a better place now and that you can finally see your worth and how lovely you are 🥰

definitely not in a better place i just have a better person beside me! i realised that tumblr wasn’t actually helping me like i thought it was, which is why i no longer use it. it became extremely triggering for me. i don’t have any blogs in mind, i haven’t genuinely scrolled through my feed in ages. i’m sorry i’m no longer reblogging content but i’m happy i was able to relate to you in some way and provide some help.